Here are the spring 1999 ratings for the Kansas City market among listeners
ages 12+, according to Arbitron (winter 1999 ratings in parentheses):
Here are the summer 1999 ratings for the Kansas City market among listeners
ages 12+, according to Arbitron (spring 1999 ratings in parentheses):
Here are the winter 1999 ratings for the Kansas City market among listeners ages 12+, according to Arbitron:
Copyright ©1999 Aaron Barnhart. Redistribution prohibited.
Tom Snyder signs off
- The industry faxsheet TV Business Confidential reports that station WABC in New York, owned by Disney, has asked for a six-month extension on its Nov. 1 deadline for beginning to broadcast digital TV signals. May 2000 is more to Disney's liking; the company cites construction delays in a "master antenna" to be shared with WNBC.
- There's a new "Futurama" review up at the fandom site Animation Blast complete with a "Simpsons"-esque cataloging of hidden jokes and continuity errors.
High court pondering stops to "Cops"
March 26--Now who are the "bad boys"? That's what the Supreme Court of the United States is considering. At issue is whether photographers who ride along with law enforcement patrols can constitutionally barge into homes with the police officers and record what goes on inside.
It seems incredible, actually, that it took 11 years since the debut of "Cops" for a privacy case related to televised police busts to reach the high court. For 11 years crews from Barbour-Langley, the production company behind "Cops," have been riding around with participating local law enforcers. It's good PR for the cops, who are invariably shown as ordinary Joes who like their jobs, their partners and the people they serve. It's a reliable, inexpensive source of raw material to Barbour-Langley, which usually requires one week of shooting to compile enough good tape for one week's episode.
In 1992, a Washington, D.C.-area couple were subject to a night visit from U.S. marshals -- and a reporter, and a photojournalist. The feds were actually looking for their son, suspected to be a violent fugitive. But the couple, wqho felt the presence of cameras represented a violation of their privacy rights, sued, and federal courts have ruled both ways on the case, leaving it up to the high court to decide. (The couple that sued are from a well-to-do suburb, which raises an interesting possibility: that most people interrogated by the police in the presence of TV cameras lack the means or perhaps the sophistication to consider a privacy suit.)
More coverage of the issue:
Can Kilborn (and producer) cut it?
That's the question posed by The New York Observer in its profile this week of "Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn" executive producer Billy Kimball. Read the story
ALSO: The Minneapolis Star-Tribune's columnist C.J. accompanied Kilborn back to his hometown. Read the story
ALSO: See what happens when you enter your name in the search field at Kilborn's CBS website.
Snyder signs off
March 25--When Tom Snyder signed on in 1973 as the host of "The Tomorrow Show," who would've guessed that a nightly TV program with a 2 a.m. sign-off time would become an institution and have millions of us clamoring for a repeat performance?
Twenty years later, one of Snyder's former "Tomorrow Show" producers, Roger Ailes, thought it would be a nifty idea to bring Tom back to TV. The result was "Tom Snyder," which ran for two years on CNBC and very quickly made Snyder big fish in that cable channel's small pond. It also inspired David Letterman to make Snyder his first choice for a new 12:35 show to follow "Late Show with David Letterman" on CBS.
"The Late Late Show with Tom Snyder" got off to an inauspicious start in January 1995. For one thing, the show dragged; David Sanborn's first crack at a theme song sounded like it had been cut for slow dancing at a seniors' home. And the producers hadn't learned yet to do a cold open (i.e., Tom talking) out of a commercial break. The show's first guests -- an overly eager-to-please Candice Bergen and Newt Gingrich's crusty parents -- were intriguing but ultimately lacked payoff.
But there was one element that night that shined, and continued to shine for the next four years: Snyder himself. His ability to ingratiate himself with guests, his infectious laugh (which supplied so much more atmosphere than a studio audience could have) and his Jack Paar-like affection for the cute (if not clever) story made "Late Late Show" an unusual and agreeable late-night den for conversation. It would be hard to run out of guest highlights from the 700-plus tapings of Snyder's show: Harlan Ellison, Rosemary Clooney, Robert Blake, every Dennis Miller appearance, Alec Baldwin, Oscars night, Conan O'Brien, James Woods, channeler J.Z. Knight, Bob Costas and Dave Letterman's prank phone calls, just to name some.
Through it all, Snyder looked and sounded as indefatigable as ever. But that, it turns out, was something of an illusion. The five-nights-a-week grind apparently got to him -- that, and perhaps having to contend with a press that had turned unfriendly in light of his show's ratings deficit to "Late Night with Conan O'Brien." (The fact that O'Brien's show enjoyed a massive advantage over Snyder's in terms of 12:35 a.m. clearances and a compatible lead-in show were rarely mentioned.)
So now Snyder is calling it a career, at least as far as nightly television is concerned. This week he's having his favorite guests back to the show: Thursday it will be a first-time guest at CBS, Tom Brokaw; Friday the final guest is Dennis Miller. And there will doubtless be some final reflections from your old friend T.S. Good night, Tom, drive safely, and come back soon. (Photo credit: CBS/Worldwide Pants)
Other tributes to Tom
The new, improved "Howard Stern"
March 26--After five months on the air using a documentary style of storytelling, a revamped version of "The Howard Stern Radio Show on TV" debuted last Saturday. Scott Einziger, executive producer of Stern's daily cable show on E!, has done a fast-paced radical redesign to create a high-intensity TV version of Stern's nationally syndicated radio show. Blending new graphics, animation, short segments and tight editing, the effect is a show that defies you to fast forward on tape, let alone flip channels. The only similarity between this program and Stern's old Saturday night show at New York's WWOR-TV in 1990-91 (which Einziger also produced) is its multisegment format.
The first segment alone included a guess-the-answer game with a girl in a bikini top; an interview with comedian Kathy Griffin; a wrestling match between two Stern staffers; a short animated cartoon; and an argument with comedian Pat Cooper. The longest feature on the show was a seven-minute demolition of Dennis Rodman's recent press conference by Stern and his partner Robin Quivers.
The revised show also has more celebrity appearances, both in studio and on the street (featuring another Stern regular, "Stuttering" John Melendez).
Stern's on-air style is a combination of aggression, voyeurism, confrontation for confrontation's sake and, of course, freak show. The latter was represented in a segment called "Gary The Retard," when a young man who was obviously developmentally disabled was shown going into an upscale strip club and given a lap dance. If this was too close a veer into exploitation for your taste it literally couldn't be avoided because it was intercut into the James Woods interview. Confronting people with what makes them uncomfortable for no purpose is an essential part of the Stern m.o.
The "new" show, however well-executed, alternated between funny and tasteless. Nobody knows if this will raise the Stern show's ratings, or bring back stations that are dropping the show. If you are a Stern fan, you may like the new version of his show. Others may react like Lauren Bacall, who responded to a question from a Stern producer on the street about menstruation with this question: "What on earth are you talking about, you fool?"
--Harrison Wyman
"Two Guys" I.F. (or T.G. no more Olsen twins)
March 24--The dismantling of ABC's durable "T.G.I.F." franchise appears to be underway. With neither of its two new Friday-night sitcoms lighting up the Nielsens this year, the network has announced it will replace the Olsen twins showcase "Two of a Kind" with repeats of its surprising success, "Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place," beginning April 9. TV Barn is waiting for the other shoe to drop -- namely the yanking of "Brother's Keeper," the other Friday freshman.
Throughout the Nineties "T.G.I.F." has been a magnet for teen viewers. The loss of its two long-running sitcoms, "Family Matters" and "Step by Step," to CBS in 1997 didn't hurt ABC's fortunes; in fact, CBS was forced to cancel its two acquisitions after just one season of head-to-head competition with "T.G.I.F." But in truth, ABC hadn't fared much better, cancelling "Teen Angel" and "You Wish" last season. And teen tastes have clearly shifted away from comedy and toward the dramatic quasi-soaps offered on the WB. If the adult-oriented "Two Guys" proves a hit in repeats, look for "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" and possibly "Boy Meets World" to survive as standalone shows.
With this move, "Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place" gets to stay on the air while the new Peter Mehlman show "It's like, you know..." takes over its time slot starting Wednesday. It will also be a good test of "Two Guys," which has been accused of being a classic "hammock" show, filling the gap between two more critically liked sitcoms "Dharma & Greg" and "Drew Carey" on ABC's highly-rated Wednesday night schedule. The network recently ordered 22 episodes of "Two Guys" for 1999-2000 and may be using this Friday-night trial to see if the show can go it alone without relying on one of its more famous siblings. Read the news about the "Two Guys" move
Rock on
March 22--The 14th annual "Rock and Roll Hall of Fame" induction
ceremony was held in New York City Monday night and
originally broadcast Wednesday night (it will repeat often).
VH1's special featured Bruce Springsteen, Paul McCartney,
The Staple Singers, Billy Joel and the late Dusty
Springfield and Del Shannon among the inductees. There were
moving moments and joyful ones too. If you ever get into a
hall of fame, have Ray Charles give your induction speech,
as he did for Billy Joel.
The center of the show was not the ceremony but the all-star
jam session that followed. "Late Show with David Letterman"
bandleader Paul Shaffer was the musical director, although
with so much talent on stage he was more of a air traffic
controller than conductor.
The music was a little ragged but made up in emotional punch
what it lacked in polish. The high point was a rendition of
Curtis Mayfield's "People Get Ready" with an improvised opening
lyric by Bono. When Paul McCartney stood at the microphone
to sing "Let it Be," you could feel the passage of time, the
ache of loss and the hope and renewal that music brings. --
Harrison Wyman
Bravissimo!
March 22--They really should've cut it by 40 minutes or so, but Sunday
night's four-hour-plus Academy Awards telecast otherwise
sparkled and shined and for once, delivered on the pre-show
hype of uncertainty in the major categories. In the end,
Roberto Benigni and Steven Spielberg were rewarded for their
visions, Judi Dench and James Coburn were recognized for
films they'd made in the past, and Harvey Weinstein's $6
million promotional push for "Shakespeare in Love" paid some
very handsome dividends.
Clearly the high point of the telecast was Benigni's Oscar
for best foreign film. It's not often that the best actor
award is considered an anticlimax; Benigni not only used up
all of his English in the joyous aftermath of his first
Oscar win, he used up most of the crowd's enthusiasm. (That
less than exuberant look on the face of his wife and
co-star, one assumes, has something to do with a language
barrier. That, and she probably sees Benigni behave like
this ten times a day.)
So many other moments nearly justified the telecast's
unforgivable (and record) length: Whoopi Goldberg's ongoing
parade of can-you-top-this fashions. Ed Harris and Nick
Nolte sitting on their hands for Elia Kazan. Genuinely
touching tributes from two winners, best actress Gwyneth
Paltrow and best short-documentary filmmaker Keiko Ibi.
Chris Rock and Robin Williams. And Jim Carrey. And I never
thought anything sung by Celine Dion would move me, but I
was wrong.
Still, perhaps you're more cynical than I am, in which case
you'll definitely want to read Paul Harris' instant take on
the Oscars at http://www.harrisonline.com (it begins: "Does
anyone in the world think Whoopi Goldberg is as funny as she
obviously does?").
Read the AP's account and visit the Mercury News' complete Oscars site.
A link to my Sunday A-1 article on who's writing the Oscars.
Why "Lateline" lost and "SportsNight" succeeded
March 18--Fan as I am of Al Franken's work, I should be saddened by the announcement that his "Lateline" is now "really most sincerely dead."
And I might actually be sad were it not for the other announcement of the
week -- ABC's "SportsNight" has been renewed. For "SportsNight" manages to be
everything "Lateline" never could quite become -- a relatively believable
behind-the-scenes look at a live broadcast.
Given its origin in Franken's topical humor, you'd think a "Nightline" parody would be a natural for him. But most of the sitcom's first season, which aired in the winter of '98, had been in the can for weeks by the time the Monica Lewinsky scandal broke. Compared with the chaos that had overtaken Washington, "Lateline" seemed almost anti-political, even with the stunt castings of G. Gordon Liddy, Ralph Reed and Chastity Bono. "Lateline" already seemed more like a companion to other NBC office sitcoms, and would only become more so in each of its next two incarnations (episodes from the third go-round had just started airing Tuesday).
Where both "Lateline" and "Sports Night" share some of the same stock
characters -- the gruff boss, the pompous anchor(s), the office geek --
"Sports Night" is allowed to be its own self-contained "Broadcast News"
dramedy each week, while "Lateline" was forced to play it all for laughs every
minute and a half.
Only when it accidentally "killed" Buddy Hackett did "Lateline" really live
up to its source material. (That episode masterfully re-enacted the politics of "Nightline's" decision to honor the death of John Belushi, against Koppel's better judgment. That program will be best remembered for guest Milton Berle telling Koppel he had no idea why the hell he'd been booked on the show).
Perhaps "Lateline" could have thrived better on ABC where it could have been more a cross between "Spin City" and "Sports Night," instead of an
increasingly tinkered-with ensemble workplace comedy. -- Tom Heald
What's happening to the independent stations?
March 18--The biggest of the big broadcasters would like to get even bigger. NBC's president Bob Wright last week asked Vice President Gore to consider raising the limit on TV stations that a single entity may own from those covering 35 percent of the country to 50 percent of the country. Gore turned him down, but increasingly noises are being made by the broadcast lobby -- protector of tens of billions of dollars in free spectrum space and considered by many the most powerful lobby on Capitol Hill -- to raise the ownership cap to 50 percent.
Brian Lowry's reports in the Tuesday Los Angeles Times about the changing nature of L.A. television. Once known for its robust independent stations like KCOP and KTLA -- Jeff Kisseloff's book
The Box devotes an entire chapter to KTLA's golden years -- now the TV scene there is becoming increasingly corporatized. And when even a sixth-place weblet like UPN can add millions of dollars in value to a station, being known as an "independent" has become a liability, not a strength.
And now the industry faxsheet TV Business Confidential reports that Fox TV chairman/CEO Chase Carey has been making the rounds of Capitol Hill, urging the ownership cap be raised as well. Carey is willing to settle for 50 percent but what he'd really like is the abolition of all broadcast ownership regulations, freeing up Fox to own stations in every market. If lawmakers don't help him out, Carey said "it wasn't out of the question for the Fox broadcast network to become the Fox cable network," reports TVBizCon.
Archive for the week of March 22, 1999
- The industry faxsheet TV Business Confidential reports that station WABC in New York, owned by Disney, has asked for a six-month extension on its Nov. 1 deadline for beginning to broadcast digital TV signals. May 2000 is more to Disney's liking; the company cites construction delays in a "master antenna" to be shared with WNBC.
- There's a new "Futurama" review up at the fandom site Animation Blast complete with a "Simpsons"-esque cataloging of hidden jokes and continuity errors.
High court pondering stops to "Cops"
March 26--Now who are the "bad boys"? That's what the Supreme Court of the United States is considering. At issue is whether photographers who ride along with law enforcement patrols can constitutionally barge into homes with the police officers and record what goes on inside.
It seems incredible, actually, that it took 11 years since the debut of "Cops" for a privacy case related to televised police busts to reach the high court. For 11 years crews from Barbour-Langley, the production company behind "Cops," have been riding around with participating local law enforcers. It's good PR for the cops, who are invariably shown as ordinary Joes who like their jobs, their partners and the people they serve. It's a reliable, inexpensive source of raw material to Barbour-Langley, which usually requires one week of shooting to compile enough good tape for one week's episode.
In 1992, a Washington, D.C.-area couple were subject to a night visit from U.S. marshals -- and a reporter, and a photojournalist. The feds were actually looking for their son, suspected to be a violent fugitive. But the couple, wqho felt the presence of cameras represented a violation of their privacy rights, sued, and federal courts have ruled both ways on the case, leaving it up to the high court to decide. (The couple that sued are from a well-to-do suburb, which raises an interesting possibility: that most people interrogated by the police in the presence of TV cameras lack the means or perhaps the sophistication to consider a privacy suit.)
More coverage of the issue:
Can Kilborn (and producer) cut it?
That's the question posed by The New York Observer in its profile this week of "Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn" executive producer Billy Kimball. Read the story
ALSO: The Minneapolis Star-Tribune's columnist C.J. accompanied Kilborn back to his hometown. Read the story
ALSO: See what happens when you enter your name in the search field at Kilborn's CBS website.
Snyder signs off
March 25--When Tom Snyder signed on in 1973 as the host of "The Tomorrow Show," who would've guessed that a nightly TV program with a 2 a.m. sign-off time would become an institution and have millions of us clamoring for a repeat performance?
Twenty years later, one of Snyder's former "Tomorrow Show" producers, Roger Ailes, thought it would be a nifty idea to bring Tom back to TV. The result was "Tom Snyder," which ran for two years on CNBC and very quickly made Snyder big fish in that cable channel's small pond. It also inspired David Letterman to make Snyder his first choice for a new 12:35 show to follow "Late Show with David Letterman" on CBS.
"The Late Late Show with Tom Snyder" got off to an inauspicious start in January 1995. For one thing, the show dragged; David Sanborn's first crack at a theme song sounded like it had been cut for slow dancing at a seniors' home. And the producers hadn't learned yet to do a cold open (i.e., Tom talking) out of a commercial break. The show's first guests -- an overly eager-to-please Candice Bergen and Newt Gingrich's crusty parents -- were intriguing but ultimately lacked payoff.
But there was one element that night that shined, and continued to shine for the next four years: Snyder himself. His ability to ingratiate himself with guests, his infectious laugh (which supplied so much more atmosphere than a studio audience could have) and his Jack Paar-like affection for the cute (if not clever) story made "Late Late Show" an unusual and agreeable late-night den for conversation. It would be hard to run out of guest highlights from the 700-plus tapings of Snyder's show: Harlan Ellison, Rosemary Clooney, Robert Blake, every Dennis Miller appearance, Alec Baldwin, Oscars night, Conan O'Brien, James Woods, channeler J.Z. Knight, Bob Costas and Dave Letterman's prank phone calls, just to name some.
Through it all, Snyder looked and sounded as indefatigable as ever. But that, it turns out, was something of an illusion. The five-nights-a-week grind apparently got to him -- that, and perhaps having to contend with a press that had turned unfriendly in light of his show's ratings deficit to "Late Night with Conan O'Brien." (The fact that O'Brien's show enjoyed a massive advantage over Snyder's in terms of 12:35 a.m. clearances and a compatible lead-in show were rarely mentioned.)
So now Snyder is calling it a career, at least as far as nightly television is concerned. This week he's having his favorite guests back to the show: Thursday it will be a first-time guest at CBS, Tom Brokaw; Friday the final guest is Dennis Miller. And there will doubtless be some final reflections from your old friend T.S. Good night, Tom, drive safely, and come back soon. (Photo credit: CBS/Worldwide Pants)
Other tributes to Tom
The new, improved "Howard Stern"
March 26--After five months on the air using a documentary style of storytelling, a revamped version of "The Howard Stern Radio Show on TV" debuted last Saturday. Scott Einziger, executive producer of Stern's daily cable show on E!, has done a fast-paced radical redesign to create a high-intensity TV version of Stern's nationally syndicated radio show. Blending new graphics, animation, short segments and tight editing, the effect is a show that defies you to fast forward on tape, let alone flip channels. The only similarity between this program and Stern's old Saturday night show at New York's WWOR-TV in 1990-91 (which Einziger also produced) is its multisegment format.
The first segment alone included a guess-the-answer game with a girl in a bikini top; an interview with comedian Kathy Griffin; a wrestling match between two Stern staffers; a short animated cartoon; and an argument with comedian Pat Cooper. The longest feature on the show was a seven-minute demolition of Dennis Rodman's recent press conference by Stern and his partner Robin Quivers.
The revised show also has more celebrity appearances, both in studio and on the street (featuring another Stern regular, "Stuttering" John Melendez).
Stern's on-air style is a combination of aggression, voyeurism, confrontation for confrontation's sake and, of course, freak show. The latter was represented in a segment called "Gary The Retard," when a young man who was obviously developmentally disabled was shown going into an upscale strip club and given a lap dance. If this was too close a veer into exploitation for your taste it literally couldn't be avoided because it was intercut into the James Woods interview. Confronting people with what makes them uncomfortable for no purpose is an essential part of the Stern m.o.
The "new" show, however well-executed, alternated between funny and tasteless. Nobody knows if this will raise the Stern show's ratings, or bring back stations that are dropping the show. If you are a Stern fan, you may like the new version of his show. Others may react like Lauren Bacall, who responded to a question from a Stern producer on the street about menstruation with this question: "What on earth are you talking about, you fool?"
--Harrison Wyman
"Two Guys" I.F. (or T.G. no more Olsen twins)
March 24--The dismantling of ABC's durable "T.G.I.F." franchise appears to be underway. With neither of its two new Friday-night sitcoms lighting up the Nielsens this year, the network has announced it will replace the Olsen twins showcase "Two of a Kind" with repeats of its surprising success, "Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place," beginning April 9. TV Barn is waiting for the other shoe to drop -- namely the yanking of "Brother's Keeper," the other Friday freshman.
Throughout the Nineties "T.G.I.F." has been a magnet for teen viewers. The loss of its two long-running sitcoms, "Family Matters" and "Step by Step," to CBS in 1997 didn't hurt ABC's fortunes; in fact, CBS was forced to cancel its two acquisitions after just one season of head-to-head competition with "T.G.I.F." But in truth, ABC hadn't fared much better, cancelling "Teen Angel" and "You Wish" last season. And teen tastes have clearly shifted away from comedy and toward the dramatic quasi-soaps offered on the WB. If the adult-oriented "Two Guys" proves a hit in repeats, look for "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" and possibly "Boy Meets World" to survive as standalone shows.
With this move, "Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place" gets to stay on the air while the new Peter Mehlman show "It's like, you know..." takes over its time slot starting Wednesday. It will also be a good test of "Two Guys," which has been accused of being a classic "hammock" show, filling the gap between two more critically liked sitcoms "Dharma & Greg" and "Drew Carey" on ABC's highly-rated Wednesday night schedule. The network recently ordered 22 episodes of "Two Guys" for 1999-2000 and may be using this Friday-night trial to see if the show can go it alone without relying on one of its more famous siblings. Read the news about the "Two Guys" move
What made "Pretender" a contender
March 23--It wasn't one of the most eye-catching stories of the week.
Most who read about it probably failed to grasp its
importance. It was just another TV industry trade story
about a cable show. But the more I thought about it, the
more it told me about television and how the economic cycles
of TV are very much like the creative cycles. Yes, there's
always something new to report on, there are always new
players on camera and behind the scenes. But the story is
almost always the same.
Last week, Twentieth Television, the syndication arm of Fox,
announced it had sold off-network rights to the series "The
Pretender" to TNT for about a quarter million dollars per
episode. That doesn't include the non-pretend money
Twentieth will make offering the show's 77 episodes to local
stations on a barter basis (which means no cash is exchanged
but Twentieth gets to sell some of the commercial time).
When all's said and done, you'll be able to catch a rerun of
the Michael T. Weiss drama about lost identity and poetic
justice every weeknight on cable and twice a weekend on
broadcast, beginning the fall of 2000. Twentieth,
meanwhile, will reap at least an extra $40 million off its
series. What makes this more remarkable is that "Pretender"
airs on the least-watched night of the week and rarely
breaks into Nielsen's top 50.
The "Pretender" deal tells us a few stories that are
familiar to network executives but perhaps less well-known
to the general public. One is the way in which demographic
ratings have come to completely dominate the conversation
about what defines a successful TV show. Another is the
emergence of Big Cable as its own subcategory and the
desperation of Big Cable channels to fend off the 100-plus
Little Cable channels that are stifling their growth.
Many TV shows score a higher Nielsen ranking in young-adult
viewers than in households or total viewers. This is
especially true of the three newer networks: Fox, WB and
(sometimes) UPN. "Ally McBeal," which finished 63rd last
season in total viewers, was a huge hit with women 18-34
(10th overall) and was a top 20 show among adults 18-49.
This year it's a huge hit no matter how you measure it. With
WB shows the disparity is even greater, though "7th Heaven"
(128th overall last season, but 20th among teens) now
finishes third or better in its time period most weeks. The
WB generally scores so well with teenage viewers that
certain advertisers fall over each other trying to buy
commercial time on the network's shows (movie studios, fast
food restaurants).
What's striking about "The Pretender" is that it airs, not
on a weblet, but on a major broadcast network with a diverse
schedule -- well, diverse by TV's standards. "Pretender"
finished 61st overall in the Nielsens among total viewers.
Ten shows with higher ratings were cancelled, including
fellow Saturday-night series "Dr. Quinn" (56th). It did
better among young adults, though not superlatively so.
Still, "Pretender" was the highest-rated program on Saturday
nights among viewers 18-54; "Walker, Texas Ranger,"
averaging three million more viewers than "Pretender," could
do no better than third in that demographic (behind another
NBC "Thrillogy" staple, "Profiler").
And that's what made this seemingly unexceptional property
so valuable that it sparked a bidding war among three
networks for the cable TV rights to its repeats. See, unlike
broadcast networks, most cable networks don't even bother
with that household-ratings crap. All they sell to
advertisers is demographics. But unfortunately for some of
cable's better-established players, they're no longer the
only ones in the business anymore. And so, while the
headlines have been shouting the triumph of cable channels
over broadcast channels, the industry is buzzing about a
lesser-known phenomenon: Big Cable is losing audience to
Little Cable. USA is challenged by FX. Discovery must fend
off HGTV. CNN erodes while Fox News Channel builds.
Which brings us to TNT, one of the most widely-distributed
and highest-rated cable channels around. TNT has never been
afraid to pay big money for "event television" -- movies and
sports, mainly -- but now it is being forced to compete for
even second-tier programming. The reason is the emergence
of Little Cable, a whole raft of newer, less-established
networks most of which are competing for the same
young-adult audience as the TNT's and USA's. And oftentimes
there's a lot of money behind Little Cable. Which means
that every time a program comes on the market with some
obvious demographic appeal, it's bound to attract multiple,
well-financed suitors. In recent months TNT has had to bid
heavily for the cable rights to "ER" and the next cycle of
"Law & Order" repeats. It's a scarcity thing.
And now it's come to this: three heavily-financed cable
channels, each backed by an industry mogul, in a $20 million
auction for a network show that many viewers have never
seen, has never been a huge hit and is an hourlong program
(a negative, since half-hour sitcoms are better at grabbing
viewers). Nonetheless, the Sci-Fi Channel (owned by Barry
Diller's USA Networks), FX (owned by Rupert Murdoch's News
Corp.) and TNT all wanted it. In the end, the envelope with
Ted Turner's bid was the fattest -- and so, despite the fact
Twentieth and FX are both Murdoch properties, Twentieth
cashed Turner's check and sent "Pretender" to TNT.
Despite modest ratings, "The Pretender" sparked a bidding war among three well-funded cable channels for its off-network repeats. (Photo: NBC/Sven Arnstein)
The sale of "Pretender" is also a cautionary tale for those
too quick to write off the networks, particularly top-rated
NBC. I was on hand in Pasadena in the summer of 1996 when
NBC announced its Saturday-night "Thrillogy." At the time
it was a minor matter compared with other press-tour news
(as I recall, the "Friends" negotiations were in full
panic). The one most of us heard about at the time was
"Dark Skies," a not-very-good conspiracy show with a strong
PR front. The show's creator, Bryce Zabel, relentlessly
worked the event from mid-morning to late in the night at
the NBC press party, and Shepley-Winings people were urging
me to come visit the set. I remember standing outside at
that party with one of the show's stars, the late J.T. Walsh,
who was smoking a butt and avoiding his publicist,
chatting with me about his salad days in the theater.
"Dark Skies" was not a good show, but it was an interesting
show. I couldn't say the same at first for "Pretender,"
which seemed to do the same thing week in and week out.
Weiss's character Jarod would reinvent himself in some new
occupation, smoke out some bad guy and fix his wagon in some
fitting fashion. All the while there would be flashbacks to
Jarod's black-and-white days as a young child prodigy
shackled to a nefarious institution called The Centre. Not
to make light of child exploitation, but I always wondered
what this had to do with anything -- and why I should care.
In time, however, I got my answer: Weiss made me care. I
still can't say I understand the conspiracy that well, but
Weiss has shown amazing talent as a man capable of
re-enacting the emotions of a trapped little boy. The other
actors on this show are peripheral, even the lovely
is-she-or-isn't-she-wicked Miss Parker (played by Miss
Andrea Parker). It's a tribute to Weiss that he continues
to carry a show that clearly operates on a budget and within
such formulaic constraints.
At the time "Pretender," "Profiler" and "Dark Skies"
launched, NBC was dead last among the four networks in
audience and demographics on Saturday nights. One year
later, NBC entertainment prez Warren Littlefield was
beaming. "We've gone from worst to first in young adults!"
he told the media. Not bad, considering "Dark Skies" had
bombed (Zabel had better luck this year with "The Crow:
Stairway to Heaven").
Saturday nights are not priority nights for most broadcast
network executives. And yet NBC figured out a way to make
money on it. Besides the ratings success of its
"Thrillogy," the network owns 100 percent of "Profiler" and
a chunk of "Pretender." So as those programs are offered in
syndication -- "Profiler" is mirroring "Pretender," being
offered to local stations first and then cable -- yet more
money will flow into the General Electric coffers. You think
that's a minor story? Try telling that to ABC, which has not
grown a hit in five years on Saturday nights, or for that
matter Thursday nights. Try telling it to the producers of
"Cupid" or "Nothing Sacred" or "Cracker," shows that were
put on ABC's Saturday schedule, just to watch them die.
As more and more channels are added to your local cable
grid, how television handles smaller programs will
increasingly become a big issue. I was watching the
"Politically Incorrect After Party" on ABC Sunday night as
the host, Bill Maher, made a comment after the show's
opening sketch had bombed. "I feel like I'm back on basic
cable," he joked. But he's not on basic cable anymore. A
small show like "PI" is too important to a network's bottom
line to be kept on cable. How many stories about "The
Sopranos" have you read lately? I've seen at least five or
six -- and trust me, the HBO series deserves even more press
than it's getting. Will there be more competition someday
for shows like "The Sopranos," which after all is being
developed by one of TV's biggest studios, Brillstein/Grey?
You'd better believe it. Small isn't small any more. The
economics of the TV biz are making giants out of
average-sized shows. It's making Saturday night shows all
right for fighting. It's making contenders out of
"Pretenders."
Rock on
March 22--The 14th annual "Rock and Roll Hall of Fame" induction
ceremony was held in New York City Monday night and
originally broadcast Wednesday night (it will repeat often).
VH1's special featured Bruce Springsteen, Paul McCartney,
The Staple Singers, Billy Joel and the late Dusty
Springfield and Del Shannon among the inductees. There were
moving moments and joyful ones too. If you ever get into a
hall of fame, have Ray Charles give your induction speech,
as he did for Billy Joel.
The center of the show was not the ceremony but the all-star
jam session that followed. "Late Show with David Letterman"
bandleader Paul Shaffer was the musical director, although
with so much talent on stage he was more of a air traffic
controller than conductor.
The music was a little ragged but made up in emotional punch
what it lacked in polish. The high point was a rendition of
Curtis Mayfield's "People Get Ready" with an improvised opening
lyric by Bono. When Paul McCartney stood at the microphone
to sing "Let it Be," you could feel the passage of time, the
ache of loss and the hope and renewal that music brings. --
Harrison Wyman
Bravissimo!
March 22--They really should've cut it by 40 minutes or so, but Sunday
night's four-hour-plus Academy Awards telecast otherwise
sparkled and shined and for once, delivered on the pre-show
hype of uncertainty in the major categories. In the end,
Roberto Benigni and Steven Spielberg were rewarded for their
visions, Judi Dench and James Coburn were recognized for
films they'd made in the past, and Harvey Weinstein's $6
million promotional push for "Shakespeare in Love" paid some
very handsome dividends.
Clearly the high point of the telecast was Benigni's Oscar
for best foreign film. It's not often that the best actor
award is considered an anticlimax; Benigni not only used up
all of his English in the joyous aftermath of his first
Oscar win, he used up most of the crowd's enthusiasm. (That
less than exuberant look on the face of his wife and
co-star, one assumes, has something to do with a language
barrier. That, and she probably sees Benigni behave like
this ten times a day.)
So many other moments nearly justified the telecast's
unforgivable (and record) length: Whoopi Goldberg's ongoing
parade of can-you-top-this fashions. Ed Harris and Nick
Nolte sitting on their hands for Elia Kazan. Genuinely
touching tributes from two winners, best actress Gwyneth
Paltrow and best short-documentary filmmaker Keiko Ibi.
Chris Rock and Robin Williams. And Jim Carrey. And I never
thought anything sung by Celine Dion would move me, but I
was wrong.
Still, perhaps you're more cynical than I am, in which case
you'll definitely want to read Paul Harris' instant take on
the Oscars at http://www.harrisonline.com (it begins: "Does
anyone in the world think Whoopi Goldberg is as funny as she
obviously does?").
Read the AP's account and visit the Mercury News' complete Oscars site.
A link to my Sunday A-1 article on who's writing the Oscars.
Why "Lateline" lost and "SportsNight" succeeded
March 18--Fan as I am of Al Franken's work, I should be saddened by the announcement that his "Lateline" is now "really most sincerely dead."
And I might actually be sad were it not for the other announcement of the
week -- ABC's "SportsNight" has been renewed. For "SportsNight" manages to be
everything "Lateline" never could quite become -- a relatively believable
behind-the-scenes look at a live broadcast.
Given its origin in Franken's topical humor, you'd think a "Nightline" parody would be a natural for him. But most of the sitcom's first season, which aired in the winter of '98, had been in the can for weeks by the time the Monica Lewinsky scandal broke. Compared with the chaos that had overtaken Washington, "Lateline" seemed almost anti-political, even with the stunt castings of G. Gordon Liddy, Ralph Reed and Chastity Bono. "Lateline" already seemed more like a companion to other NBC office sitcoms, and would only become more so in each of its next two incarnations (episodes from the third go-round had just started airing Tuesday).
Where both "Lateline" and "Sports Night" share some of the same stock
characters -- the gruff boss, the pompous anchor(s), the office geek --
"Sports Night" is allowed to be its own self-contained "Broadcast News"
dramedy each week, while "Lateline" was forced to play it all for laughs every
minute and a half.
Only when it accidentally "killed" Buddy Hackett did "Lateline" really live
up to its source material. (That episode masterfully re-enacted the politics of "Nightline's" decision to honor the death of John Belushi, against Koppel's better judgment. That program will be best remembered for guest Milton Berle telling Koppel he had no idea why the hell he'd been booked on the show).
Perhaps "Lateline" could have thrived better on ABC where it could have been more a cross between "Spin City" and "Sports Night," instead of an
increasingly tinkered-with ensemble workplace comedy. -- Tom Heald
What's happening to the independent stations?
March 18--The biggest of the big broadcasters would like to get even bigger. NBC's president Bob Wright last week asked Vice President Gore to consider raising the limit on TV stations that a single entity may own from those covering 35 percent of the country to 50 percent of the country. Gore turned him down, but increasingly noises are being made by the broadcast lobby -- protector of tens of billions of dollars in free spectrum space and considered by many the most powerful lobby on Capitol Hill -- to raise the ownership cap to 50 percent.
Brian Lowry's reports in the Tuesday Los Angeles Times about the changing nature of L.A. television. Once known for its robust independent stations like KCOP and KTLA -- Jeff Kisseloff's book
The Box devotes an entire chapter to KTLA's golden years -- now the TV scene there is becoming increasingly corporatized. And when even a sixth-place weblet like UPN can add millions of dollars in value to a station, being known as an "independent" has become a liability, not a strength.
And now the industry faxsheet TV Business Confidential reports that Fox TV chairman/CEO Chase Carey has been making the rounds of Capitol Hill, urging the ownership cap be raised as well. Carey is willing to settle for 50 percent but what he'd really like is the abolition of all broadcast ownership regulations, freeing up Fox to own stations in every market. If lawmakers don't help him out, Carey said "it wasn't out of the question for the Fox broadcast network to become the Fox cable network," reports TVBizCon.
Articles for the week of April 5, 1999
- Philadelphia to Letterman. The "Late Show" will tape a special "City of Brotherly Love"-themed edition Friday, May 14, CBS announced Wednesday. The 400-plus members of the studio audience will be bussed in, put up in a fancy hotel, given a New York Apple Tours Doubledecker Bus Sightseeing tour of the city, plus other treats. Residents of the Philly area only can apply for tickets by sending a postcard with name, address and phone number to: LATE SHOW TICKETS -- PHILADELPHIA, 331 West 57 Street, New York, NY 10019. Postcards must be received by Monday, April 19. Tickets will be distributed via a random drawing from all eligible entries and are non-transferrable. A pair of tickets will be given to each of the 130 winners. No purchase necessary. Those attending must be 18 years or older. All should expect to spend Thursday, May 13 and Friday, May 14 in New York City. Previously-announced May-sweeps visits are planned for fans from Miami (April 30) and Nashville (May 7), and sorry, those drawings already occurred.
- The WB is crowing about new audience figures showing it was the only network to improve in 18-to-49-year-old viewership from year to year. The report is an unusual one in that WB has generally been positioning itself as the network of 12-to-34-year-olds, while 18-49 is more the demographic of NBC and ABC. And it ain't trickery, either -- its gain in 18-49's (up 13 percent) is actually larger than its gain in 18-34's (11 percent). In households, the WB is up from a 3.1 rating to a 3.2. The only other network to record household gains is Fox, which improved from a 7.1 to a 7.2 (one rating point is a little under a million homes).
- March was also a good month for Sci Fi Channel, which is up from 0.7 to 0.9 rating in households year-to-year, with its three new Friday-night original series improving their time periods dramatically compared with last quarter. The time period now occupied by "Farscape" is up 85 percent, "Sliders" 100 percent and "First Wave" 28 percent.
- Chinese electronics maker Konka is trying to break into U.S. markets, and they might just have the product to do it: a 32-inch high definition TV set that will retail for $3,000 -- less than half of what other brand-name manufacturers are asking for theirs. To date, fewer than 20,000 HDTV sets have been sold in the U.S. since they went on sale last summer. (Source: New York Times)
- Annoying Ottawan Tom Green was renewed by MTV last week. Thirteen new episodes of "The Tom Green Show" will air beginning July 8. But first MTV has to shoot through the last four weeks of its current 10-episode order; those will air Thursdays at 10:30 p.m. beginning April 22.
- Eat yer heart out, Matt Drudge! TV Barn is turning into a veritable idea factory for our pals at the New York Post. That item we ran Monday about UPN slashing two minutes per episode of "Star Trek: Voyager" (see below)? It made its way into Tuesday's Post, which graciously credited the Vidiot.com website for its work in exposing the shortage. But guys, the least you can do is give me something I can repurpose, too! How 'bout a subscription to your print edition -- that would be great fun to pass around at work ...
- Is it time for Blaxploitation Redux? Animation Blast is reporting that former 1980's TV star Gary Coleman and Miss Foxy Brown herself, Pam Grier, will be two of the featured voices in the upcoming "Xeronine" animated series.
- It's good to be an FOB. In this case, that stands for Friend of Barry, as in Barry Diller, head poobah at USA Networks. Three people were named to the USA board Monday. One is Barry's longtime lady friend Diane Von Furstenberg, who has been known to sell her wares on Barry's Home Shopping Network. (In fact, you can catch her on HSN this Thursday night from 7 to 9.)
- So why did negotiations between the ABC network and its affiliates, which were going so swimmingly a couple of weeks ago, suddenly break down? According to the industry faxsheet TV Business Confidential, "ABC was asking for a most favored nation's clause, which would give the network the same exclusivity/repurposing rights that other networks enjoy," and the powerful affiliates board, led by Hearst-Argyle's David Barrett, balked. (Hearst-Argyle is the largest non-network owner of ABC affiliates; it also delays "Nightline" in Milwaukee and Kansas City, the two largest markets still doing so.) Some unhappy affiliates wish ABC and its board would just cut the crap and do a deal -- fast.
- I've gotten several letters from people wondering what the heck happened to all those "SCTV" compilations that were to run in the "Later" time period on NBC. As it turns out, the edited half-hour "SCTV" programs were put into the "Later" rotation just like any other guest host -- four nights and out. Of course, there are some hosts the folks at NBC simply cannot get enough of, like Rita Sever. And fortunately for us, "SCTV" is also on their short list. An NBC executive said episodes will return for one week in April "and perhaps more in the summer."
- Is UPN cutting two minutes out of "Star Trek: Voyager" episodes? At least one "Voyager" fan says yes -- and he's got the time codes to prove it. Since mid-February it seems the network has been making the cuts in order to run more commercials, possibly as "make-goods" to advertisers who were promised higher ratings than UPN was able to deliver. Here's the site, complete with meticulous scene-by-scene descriptions of the edits.
- Those of you who stayed up after last Monday's NCAA final
saw Marv Albert, and his new toupee, return to the Letterman show
and try returning to the routine he and Dave had established
through dozens of appearances going back to 1982. (About
that rug, Andy Ihnatko joked to me last week that "he's
moved from the Bert Convy to the Burt Reynolds.") Albert said later, "It's hard to have a measuring stick. I
don't want to come out with a litany of knee-slappers. I
don't think that's appropriate. I thought I was having a
normal conversation with Dave, although I don't think you
really have a normal conversation with a live studio
audience ... I feel comfortable with Dave and that
situation."
- Although fired by NBC following his conviction, Albert
claims to be glad for the extra free time, saying his
pace was too hectic back in the old days. (I'm not sure I'd
buy that; after all, this is a guy whose memoir is entitled
"I'd Love to but I Have a Game: 27 Years Without a Life."
Then again, he obviously had time for a quick bite ...) Marv made his national sportscasting return Friday night with TNT. The regular-season TNT sked for Albert calls for him to
announce these games: April 9 (Phoenix-Utah w/Doc Rivers),
April 16 (Indy-Philly), April 23 (Portland-Utah), April 27
(Utah-Seattle) and May 4 (Cleveland-Indy). Except where
noted, his right-hand guy will be Reggie Theus.
- ESPN kicked off its 10th year of Sunday night baseball with Jon
Miller and Joe Morgan this weekend. The gizmo-crazy network told reporters last week it is fine-tuning two of last season's new
technologies, Mask-Cam and Bat Track. Look for Bat Track to
measure the speed of the batter's swing all the time, not
just selectively, making it as ubiquitous as the ball speeds
taken by the radar gun. Both technologies, the show's top
producer promised, will be "used with restraint."
- As for Morgan, he too has learned restraint. In his decade
with Miller he's established himself as one of the smartest
commentators working the broadcast booth. A key to his
success, says Morgan, has been learning that less is more. "I
can probably stand here and talk to you for five hours
straight about hitting. But that's not good for the viewer,"
the two-time MVP said. "What Jon does is help me get in and
get out. And Jon has helped me lighten up about the game. As
a player it was a life-and-death matter. Things were too
serious to me." Such as? "I'll never forget when
(Colorado's) Larry Walker handed the ball to the kid in
right field, thinking there were three outs. In the past I
might've said, 'What an idiotic move, he just hurt his
team.' Now I can laugh at it."
"MST3K" on the brink
If the "Mystery Science Theater 3000" folks wanted to go out with a bang, they failed. But if they wanted to begin the end of a decade spent poking fun at bad films with the same, finely-honed insouciance that made them a cult favorite in the first place, then they've done themselves proud. In the season premiere airing 11 p.m. Sunday, the crew at Best Brains Inc. in Minneapolis demonstrates why their show has stayed fresher after nine seasons than "The X-Files" and its two little meat puppets have after just five.
As Barry Diller's Sci-Fi Channel relaunches itself as a mainstream-friendly SF outpost, it has chosen to drop baggage such as "MST3K," very much as Comedy Central punted the show in 1996 during its 2.0 upgrade. In one sense this is understandable, because "MST3K" has never been a phenomenon. It never swept the cultural consciousness the way "Star Trek" did. Crow and Tom Servo were no Mulder and Scully. Nor did Sci-Fi ever get the kind of PR mileage from "MST3K" that it is currently enjoying from the Francis Ford Coppola-produced "First Wave," just as Comedy Central waited in vain for the show to create the brand identity "South Park" eventually would. But "MST3K" has been, as the New York Observer's Ron Rosenbaum once wrote, "perhaps the funniest ongoing critique of American culture ever." I would further note that it is an unofficial critique of the Sci-Fi Channel's programming for "MST3K" to let the viewing public know, as it has these past three years, that the programming emperors have no clothes.
The heartwarming story of a stranded temp worker and his robots who while away the hours talking back to bad genre films, "MST3K" will air its tenth season of 13 episodes and will then end, barring a paradoxical plea from the show's producers to their fan base to help save the show (the Sci-Fi Channel claims that Best Brains practically welcomed the issuing of the pink slip). The show has endured an obstacle course since its founding. It went from Twin Cities indie station KTMA-TV to Comedy Channel (later Comedy Central) to Sci-Fi Channel. The producers even tried, briefly, to repackage the show in one-hour episodes for syndication, a futile effort that will be remembered for host Mike Nelson's game imitation of A&E personality Jack Perkins. At the height of its fame, such as it was, Best Brains even released a movie version of "MST3K." That tanked at the box office -- and then Comedy Central cancelled the show.
"MST3K" suffered the loss of important players over the years, including Joel Hodgson, its creator, whose on-camera name was Joel Robinson. (He preceded current host Mike Nelson as the designated human "meat puppet" at the show's home base, the Satellite of Love.) Other expatriates include Josh Weinstein (probably unknown to all but the most diehard "MST'ies," Weinstein was the high-pitched Dr. Erhardt in the first season), Frank Conniff (as TV's Frank) and Trace Beaulieu (who played both the evil Dr. Forrester and the onetime voice of Crow). Much like the stars of "M*A*S*H," Hollywood anonymity was the destination of most of the departed.
As is their habit, the "MST3K" folks are eschewing the usual irritating promo gimmicks for the final season launch. That is, unless you count the new opening credits and the ever-so-brief return of TV's Frank and Joel Robinson (Hodgson looks somewhat beefier than his earlier version). In this outing, Mike Nelson and the 'bots skewer "SoulTaker," a film Mrs. Forrester correctly calls "skin-peelingly bad."
The "SoulTaker" roasting is vintage "MST3K." This is a show that over 90 minutes manages more laugh-out-loud lines than three typical sitcoms. After Joe Estevez takes the soul of a hospital patient, the non sequiturs begin to fly.
Crow: "You know, it's just not death with dignity if there's an Estevez in the room."
Tom Servo: "You think he's hourly? Or does he get paid on a per-soul basis?"
Crow: "See, if he put The Club on his soul, this would not have happened."
And so on.
The Sci-Fi Channel is a prime example of the growth of the once-insular SF genre and its saturation of the culture. The high profile that Sci-Fi is giving its new Friday night prime-time block is a good indicator of where the channel thinks its viewer growth will come from. It won't come from the dedicated remnant of "MST3K" fans.
So "MST3K" is being dumped for flashier, more accessible shows like "Farscape" and "First Wave." But it would be wrong to conclude from this that "MST3K" was inaccessible to the non-SF audience. Appreciating "MST3K" does not require an aficionado's knowledge of science fiction, despite the references over the years to "Starlog" and Harlan Ellison. It does have its rewards for a viewer with an unpretentious love of movies. And sure, someone who knows the location of UW-Stout or the village of Ashwaubenon will find even more to appreciate. Is that so wrong?
Some films inspire sympathetic wincing by the audience because the producers so obviously tried to make a decent film. But this show's stock in trade is the film whose producers just didn't care, the minor investment someone hoped to cash in on. "MST3K" makes no attempt to pretend to be art or education (never mind the Ayn Rand or Aeschylus references over the years), but it does hold Hollywood up to the best critical eye available: that of three guys who love movies but don't fall for industry BS. Which may be the most problematic aspect of this show for Sci-Fi Channel. Let's face it, that heads-and-chairbacks silhouette familiar to "MST3K" fans could have run along the bottom of most of the channel's programming in recent years. Now as Diller tries to reinvent Sci-Fi as a Channel That Matters, we can welcome the resultant drop in dreck, but mourn the loss of the anti-dreck truth squad from Minneapolis.
--John Zipperer
Visit the official "MST3K" website (watch the new opening in RealVideo)
Stern takes on the spoilsports
Over the past several months you've been seeing full-page
ads in major daily newspapers urging the major TV networks
to clean up the "filth" in their early prime time schedules.
Those ads, featuring former "Tonight Show" host Steve
Allen, are paid for by the Parents Television Council, an
L.A.-based nonprofit that urges boycotts of sponsors whose
ads appear on programs the PTC thinks are inappropriate for
prime time -- or in the case of Howard Stern's TV show,
should not air anytime, anywhere.
One of the ways the PTC tries to get the word out about
indecent TV is through its celebrity board. "Twenty-four
prominent celebrities and behind-the-scenes players have
joined the Parents Television Council's effort to bring
quality programming to television," says its website.
One of those "players" is Jack Valenti, the longtime
lobbyist for the motion-picture industry. Valenti's
inclusion on this board is curious, since he has been the
point man in getting the government to accept a toothless
set of voluntary TV ratings (TV-PG and the like) and has let
NBC off the hook for refusing to adopt a second set of
ratings based on content (such as S for sex and D for adult
descriptions). One would think the PTC would be unhappy
with Valenti for always taking the broadcasters' side in
content matters, but the idea of having him on its board
seems to have been too good to pass up.
But there are a couple of curious choices among the board's
celebrity members as well, namely Marty Ingels and his wife,
actress Shirley Jones. Ingels, who brokers "big-name
endorsement TV ads for the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger,
Joan Collins, Joe Montana, and many others," and Jones have
each made appearances on Howard Stern's radio show -- which
the Parents Television Council is trying to rub out. Say
what?
That's what Howard said, too. So last Friday he called up
Jones and Ingels and asked them the obvious question: Have
you changed your minds? Have you lost your minds? Do you
really want me off the air?
The one-hour discussion that ensued was, according to
listener Bob Mann, "great radio" and a "great debate on
censorship." Howard's number one chronicler on the Net,
marksfriggin.com, described it this way: "Marty rambled on
for a solid 45 minutes about the same things while Howard
tried to get one simple answer out of him: 'Do you think
that I should be taken off the air?' All Marty could come up
with for an answer was 'I'm not sure.' And that's a direct
quote. Howard can't believe that someone would sit on the
board of something they don't even believe in." As for his
wife, Jones said "she loved 'Private Parts' the movie and
that Howard is a good actor. She won't let her children
listen to the radio show, though." (To which reader Dave Hoffman
replies, "Don't ya think Shaun Cassidy sneaks a listen to Howard's show on headphones
up in his room before school?")
Kilborn under glass
Photo: CBS/Worldwide Pants
So the reviews weren't exactly chipper for the "Late Late
Show with Craig Kilborn." No surprise there. Kilborn
offered plenty of fresh meat for unkind TV critics. His new
act looked suspiciously like his old act on "The Daily
Show": Fake news. Five Questions. A Moment for Us. Not to
mention Kilby's smug, self-absorbed TV personality, which
produced the usual visceral responses from critics. (The
one scribe from whom a hostile review is practically
assured, the New York Post's Michele Greppi, laid low the
first week; Adam Buckman did the Post's review instead and gave
"Late Late Show" three stars.)
As for me, having seen two of the broadcasts, I'm in no
hurry to see any more for a while. What struck me was the
recurrence of a trend I'd noted in the early seasons of the
Leno-Letterman battle: the tendency of one show to imitate
the competition. (Read this issue of LATE SHOW NEWS from 1994 for examples of Jay ripping
off Dave; see any "Late Show" monologue from 1995-96, during
the O.J. trials, for examples of Dave ripping off Jay.) In
its new version, we see Kilborn showing a bogus clip of
something on "last night's show" -- a standard Conan bit --
and giving a group of people in the audience a humorous
identity, which "Saturday Night Live" did in the '70s and
Arsenio Hall did every night in the early '90s (at almost
precisely the same point in the program as Kilborn does
his). And not even a bizarre indoor tan altered Janeane
Garofalo sufficiently to prevent her guest segment Friday
from resembling every other Janeane Garofalo panel of the
past half life.
But lest anyone fall under the impression that CBS is
unhappy with Kilborn's derivative late-night act, the
ratings please: "Late Late Show" held steady its first week
in the 1.6 to 1.7 Nielsen range (a Nielsen point equaling
about a million TV homes). While not great, those numbers
are certainly comparable with Snyder's, and according to CBS
Kilborn's viewership is younger than Snyder's. Also, if
we're going to compare debut numbers, recall that Conan
O'Brien's ratings in 1993 started out in the 1.5 range --
and his benefitted from NBC's excellent record in getting
affiliates to run its late-night schedule "in pattern"
(i.e., at the scheduled times), something Kilby won't have
at CBS.
When I first started writing LATE SHOW NEWS, I liked to say
that late-night television is different because shows on at
that hour are not competing with the remote control so much
as they're competing with sleep. Now I'm not so sure of that
anymore. Not after watching the viewership for NBC's "Later"
build steadily over five years, all qualitative factors to
the contrary. Bob Costas put on as good a show at 1:35 a.m.
as anyone could hope for, but when he left "Later" it was
averaging a 1.0 Nielsen rating. Today that's up in the
1.5-1.6 range despite an unimpressive rotation of guest
hosts. NBC sources have told me the network has a hard time
convincing advertisers to buy spots on "Later" because a
commercial at 2 a.m. is not considered a worthwhile buy
under any conditions. But I can't believe that will remain
the case as the late-late audience keeps growing.
CBS's strategy with Kilborn, then, may not be so much to
rule the world at 12:35 a.m. as to ensure it gets its piece of
the ever-expanding late-night pie. And besides, CBS is
realistic: It knows Kilborn is not Conan O'Brien. While he
has certainly authored his own on-air persona, he gives no
indication that he wants to invent a new school of fringe
comedy like O'Brien did. Nor does he have a chance of
conquering O'Brien in the ratings, and even if he did, he
doesn't seem poised to go in for the kill the way Letterman
was with Leno (who then returned the favor). On the other
hand, Kilborn doesn't have as difficult an act to follow as
O'Brien did in replacing Letterman. Really, Kilborn has
just two tasks before him: Flex his demographic appeal and
look like he knows what he's doing. After one week, it's
pretty clear he passes both tests.
Finally, a word about correlating critical response to show
success -- as though I need to make this rather obvious
point. Since Bill Maher brought his Comedy Central shtick
over to network TV, the comments I've received or heard from
viewers have run at least 90 percent anti. People, then,
are routinely amazed to hear that "Politically Incorrect" is
holding its own in the ratings; I often hear comments to the
effect of, "Who would want to watch that show?" Well,
apparently 2 or 3 million souls each night do, a good number of
them younger viewers. Even assuming that the average fan
only catches "PI" twice a week, that still means the show
appeals to less than 10 percent of the entire viewing
public. Which means that nearly everybody you know could
despise the show and it could still be a hit. Something to
keep in mind while you watch those Craig Kilborn promos as
they fly through the air.
Reader mail
Not really apropos of anything, but I must admit I like reader Michael W. Jones's suggestion: "I think a possible solution to the Kosovo problem would be for the American rock elite to somehow stage a benefit concert in the wartorn area. It would show great courage on America's part, especially in not wearily answering force with force (unless of course Metallica plays) but attacking the entrenched Serbian anomosity from a higher vibrational plane. What money is raised and from whom is of secondary concern. I think this was John Lennon's vision of handling international disputes, and has yet to be taken seriously."
Read this week's mail
"That 70's Dud"
Sue Karlin had an article in Monday's L.A. Times on the new pop-culture exchange between the U.S. and Britain. Exhibit A in her story was the fact that America's Carsey-Werner company had spun off a British version of its series for Fox, "That 70's Show." Very interesting. Only one problem: Britain's ITV pulled the show off the air after just six episodes because of lousy ratings! (See this story.) I know Sue Karlin, who used to be on the masthead at Entertainment Weekly, and this isn't her fault; the Times obviously held the story too long. Besides, her story has other interesting info about the transatlantic cultural exchange, so I recommend reading it -- just don't take the first part too seriously.
Funny is as funny does
Guess who's coming back to prime-time TV? Should I shoot myself now?
It's pilot development season again, and you know what that means: way more sitcoms are on the drawing board than have any right to be. And Hollywood knows it. With pressure increasing to keep audiences from fleeing to cable, network executives are said to be taking a hard look at cable's low-rent, reality-based approach to TV comedy. But as I argue in an essay that appeared in Sunday's Kansas City Star, what the networks really ought to be doing is taking a hard look at the great sitcoms of old and learning what made them work (here's a hint: the writing).
Read the essay
"Passions": Like Univision, only in English
NBC's latest in-house-produced soap opera appears to be aimed at a Latino audience, as this casting sheet from Backstage Pass makes plain.
Articles for week of April 11, 1999
- ABC affiliates' reactions varied from hopping mad to studied indifference over the network's about-face on ABC's new soap-opera channel. Apparently in retaliation for the affiliates' refusal to meet Disney terms on a number of issues, the network pulled its offer to share revenues with its stations from its cable soaps venture. "This is typical of the Hollywood mentality Disney has of cramming it down your throat," one affiliate told TV Business Confidential. Another said, "So what? I don't care and I don't think it will fly," perhaps forgetting that cable channels aren't network shows and once they get the bandwidth, they're awfully hard to dislodge. (And that Disney has some of the most entrenched cable networks around: the ESPN's, Lifetime and A&E.)
Bill Wendell dies
One of the great all-time broadcast announcers, Bill Wendell, who for 15 years was the voice of David Letterman's morning and late-night talk shows and was regarded as second only to the legendary Don Pardo among NBC-TV announcers, died of complications of cancer in Florida. He was 75.
When he retired from "Late Show" at the end of its second season on CBS in 1995, this is what I wrote:
"I first heard Bill Wendell in 1975, doing the voiceover for Spud Beer, one of those fake ads from the first season of 'Saturday Night Live.' On the occasion of his retirement following Friday's broadcast of the 'Late Show,' they're remembering Wendell mostly for his zany antics as crowd warmer-upper on Letterman's NBC show and as Ernie Kovacs's TV sidekick in the 1950s. But back on 'SNL' and especially the old 'Late Night,' Wendell could also take a script and make it sparkle. His voiceovers at the top of each broadcast had a delightful self-mocking buffoonery, and when his voice trailed off while bellowing David Llllletterman's name, he had a peculiar way of making it sound like his last breath on earth. The millions who have only heard his lifeless intros on CBS -- invariably redone after the taping from an announcer's booth, far from the madding crowds -- don't know what fun they missed.
"Wendell is a throwback, not only to the old days of announcing, but the old days of televised comedy, when the warmup guy was king. Norman Lear, even in his heyday, with more smash sitcoms than CBS had room for, still did his own warmups for 'All in the Family' and had the ladies rolling in the aisles. Before Bob Barker became the eminence grise of grubby merchandising, he had a harmless little show called 'Truth or Consequences' that opened with a shot of the studio audience roaring with laughter at the warmup act. Wendell considered audience prep his specialty, and whether or not he was any good at it by the 1980s, it worked for Dave. At one point during 'Late Night's' run, the introductory sequence always included a sweep shot of the audience with Wendell prominently shown firing up the crowd. Bill would do anything for a laugh -- including one of those hilariously grim pieces they used to do at NBC, where Letterman offs Wendell after a joyride in the country.
"He was taken off the warmup beat in the last season at NBC, replaced by Bill Scheft, who continued at CBS until some other guy filled in and was replaced by the current audience prepper, a standup comedian named Wali Collins ... [who] is said to be outrageous and effective at whipping the crowd into a lather -- what Wendell was known for in the 1950s."
Many observers have noted the similarities between Letterman's early TV comedy and that of Kovacs. For that we probably also have Wendell to thank. Letterman told interviewer Charlie Rose in 1996 that in preparing to do his late-night show on NBC, he and his staff looked at old kinescopes of Steve Allen's Westinghouse show, adding, "Because our announcer in those days, Bill
Wendell, had been the announcer on the Ernie Kovacs show ... we
looked at some of those as well." In addition to his announcing duties, Wendell took over for Jack Barry as host of "Tic Tac Dough" in 1958. Prior to joining NBC, Wendell was an announcer at the DuMont network. After leaving "Late Show," he could be heard announcing ads for Old Navy retail stores.
If you're registered at the New York Times website, you can read the NYT obituary here.
The finest network money can buy
One of the most successful ideas in cable TV this decade
wasn't a spinoff, didn't have a nine-figure marketing
campaign behind it, hasn't made a dime in profit and never
will.
It's Classic Arts Showcase, a 24-hour network of
high-quality fine arts programming presented in
video-jukebox format. It's the brainchild of philanthropist
Lloyd E. Rigler, who leased a transponder in 1994 and began
uplinking three- to five-minute clips of opera, symphony,
classic cinema and ballet in the hope that young people
would get hooked and then -- following the hourly on-screen
admonitions -- switch off their TVs and go take on the arts.
Rigler, who turns 84 next month on his network's fifth
anniversary, is an evangelist for high culture. He cares
about only one thing: reach. By that measure Classic Arts
Showcase has been a phenomenal hit. It's carried in more
than 53 million U.S. homes, at least some of the time,
through local educational or public access channels. It
passed the 50-million milestone last year in less time than
it took HGTV and nearly as fast as The History Channel.
Every week, Classic Arts Showcase airs a fresh eight-hour
video loop compiled by Lloyd's nephew Jamie Rigler and his
staff from a library that numbers 4,000 clips and growing.
To produce those clips, and pay for the 12-year satellite
lease, the network runs a deficit of $6 to $8 million a
year, all of it paid for by the foundation set up by Rigler
and his late business partner.
While that's a pile of money to lose, it's unlikely Classic
Arts Showcase would've gone far had it tried the for-profit
route, as the old CBS Cable tried and Ovation is now trying
to do. The network's educational status allowed Rigler to
obtain the needed permissions to show the videos at no cost.
And it opened up a completely untapped market to Classic
Arts: the hundreds of cable access channels across the
country running billboards or the duller-than-dull NASA
channel as their backbone. The network is now carried on 270
cable systems, some airing as little as two hours of its
programming per week.
Although the foundation at times mails out promotional
postcards to cable systems, in many cases operators simply
put Classic Arts on their access channels unsolicited. "The
thing I'm most proud of is that it's truly been through word
of mouth," says the younger Rigler.
In terms of cultivating its audience and getting
distribution, Classic Arts Showcase has been as
opportunistic as any commercial cable network. And that's
probably why Classic Arts is the only other viable
privately-funded noncommercial cable network since the
founding of C-SPAN.
Which, when you think about it, is pretty pathetic.
Despite all the talk of diversity increasing with the
expansion of the cable spectrum, there is a tremendous
amount of redundancy on cable today, not only in terms of
genres (news, sports, documentary) but programs (biography,
nature, celebrity news, home fixup).
Classic Arts Showcase's success only underscores the larger
failure of cable, and American TV in general, to create safe
haven for any niche concept that can't guarantee a profit.
At the time C-SPAN came along in 1979, it was one of but 14
services in basic cable. Now there are 200, counting
regional networks; by the 1979 scale at least a dozen of
them ought to be noncommercial. Instead we've got four:
three C-SPANs and Classic Arts.
Doesn't seem like a big deal to you? That's not surprising.
American television has been dominated by commercial tastes
for so long that most of us have a hard time even
conceptualizing what kind of programming we'd get if
Nielsens weren't the sole measure of success in TV. (For
that reason you can't count PBS, which is as audience-driven
as any commercial network.)
Yet there are scores of niche audiences being bypassed
today, either because advertisers don't want them or they're
just too small to bother with. People older than 54.
Progressives. Alternative healthcare givers. Fans of small
theater and world music. Night owls still awaiting the
female version of David Susskind. Teenagers sick of TV that
conforms relentlessly to the MTV template.
And it's not just entertainment. At a time when local
stations are chopping out their minority-affairs programs
and just about anything else that doesn't have the word
"news" in the title, there's an appalling dearth of
public-minded TV programming (unless you count the ones
where six panelists spend the hour yelling at each other).
Lloyd Rigler was able to figure out how to get his message
on the air, because he found a solution for the two problems
that bedevil every independent-minded programmer: funding
and bandwidth. Unfortunately, there are only so many access
channels out there, and Classic Arts is already on the best
ones. Which means it's back to the drawing board for anyone
else with a really good niche idea.
Learn more about Classic Arts Showcase from its website
Xena-phobes
According to a report in Variety last week, Renaissance Pictures has agreed to remove from worldwide distribution an episode of the syndicated "Xena: Warrior Princess" that elicited weeks of protest from some Hindus. "The Way" involved Hindu deities Lord Krishna and Hanuman helping Xena escape a demon and reunite with Gabrielle, her devoted sidekick. In light of the incident, Renaissance reportedly hired a Hindu consultant to see if the episode can be re-released in a modified format.
The World Vaishnava Association and the American Hindus Against Defamation complained that the episode treated the deities as fictional characters by putting words into their mouths; and if the gods are fictional, then Hindus look "foolish," according to the complaint, because they worship false gods.
In a letter to viewers posted on the "Xena" and "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys" Web sites (both shows are Renaissance products), executive producer Rob Tapert apologized to Hindus who were offended. However, he pointedly rejected further criticism in the same complaints that Lord Krishna is defamed because of Krishna's assistance to Xena in finding Gabrielle, "who is obviously her lesbian lover." Tapert wrote, "Every critic has a personal agenda. Many agendas are worthy of consideration. However, those born out of bigotry and intolerance must be fought. To those Hindus we offended, our apology stands. To those with an agenda of intolerance, this is not a victory."
Really? So sexual content is off-limits, but religious activists are free to step in and control the portrayal of their faith? Why not admit the real reason for the changes -- Renaissance's shows are seen by millions in Central Asia and the company is trying to avoid a backlash that could cost it valuable ratings points there. After all, one doubts consultants are advising the producers on how to portray Hercules and Xena without offending Greek pagan viewers.
--John Zipperer
Joan Cusack project
We don't know much about the new Joan Cusack pilot being developed by Carsey-Werner ("Roseanne," "3rd Rock," "That 70's Show") -- but here's what we do know.
Not "ha-ha" funny
Looks like it's a trend: A week after my essay on the sorry state of the sitcom, along comes Entertainment Weekly decrying the same thing: "A handful of shows are as good as television has ever been," writes Steve Lopez, "but with more networks and more total airtime than ever, the pool of writing and production talent has been drained. And nowhere are the waters shallower -- or the bottom feeders more plentiful -- than in the programming genre that has most shaped American popular culture over the last half century."
Probably just a coincidence ... as was the fact we both felt the need to speak with Peter Mehlman of "It's like, you know ..." (see it 8:30 tonight on ABC) about this crisis in comedy. (Mehlman helpfully supplied EW and me with some identical quotes.) But as reader Paul Murray points out, "Their analysis is somewhat different from yours -- instead of going back to past shows to see
what worked, they quote some people (including Larry Gelbart) who say the problem is that today's writers know only TV." Actually, that's part of my critique, too. As for EW's rankings of the top sitcoms on TV today -- with the highest echelon reserved for just three shows, "Friends," "Everybody Loves Raymond" and reruns of "Seinfeld" -- hard to argue with those.
Read my essay (sorry, the EW is online for subscribers only)
Up with Urkel
Jaleel White is back and every indication is his new UPN sitcom will be just as lame as his old one! But what do I know -- all I've seen of his pilot is this casting sheet from our friends at Backstage Pass.
"The Race to Save 100 Years"
There is a decidedly disposable feel to a lot of modern entertainment. A
program you miss that's "Must See TV" you can always see in a rerun (when it's "new to you"). Miss a movie, and you can either catch a later showing or it'll be on video in six
months. Yet surprisingly, "disposable" would also be an accurate description of how even some of the most venerable works of cinema have been treated. Poor storage conditions in neglected vaults, the widespread use of flammable nitrate film stock, and even McCarthy-era censorship have all worn away at the quality of movie libraries everywhere.
"The Race to Save 100 Years," airing on Turner Classic Movies tonight (TCM's fifth anniversary), makes its television debut as an intermission of
sorts in TCM's 24-hour "Restoration Marathon" of restored
films and serves as not only an overview of the history of film preservation,
but a testimonial to the efforts of film preservationists.
An earnest plea for continued funding of film preservation, the 1997
documentary features the only surviving footage from Greta Garbo's 1928
silent "The Divine Woman," rare fragments from the original "King Kong" and "A
Streetcar Named Desire" (which managed to be preserved despite the fact they did not conform to the Hayes censorship code),
and several other sequences once thought to be lost forever.
While the brief interviews with Martin Scorsese and a bevy of film archivists
remind us in solemn tones of the importance of each bit of footage, one can't
help but wish that more of the films had been allowed to speak for
themselves.
-- Tom Heald
The complete "Restoration Marathon" schedule
Reader mail
After following a link from the TV Barn site,
Michael Jones writes, "I read with amusement Howard
Rosenberg's article on how it took a war to get Monica off
the front page. Yet remarkably, CNN has still dispatched a
reporter and a camera crew to follow Monica on her British
book tour. I think from CNN's perspective, the ideal
situation would be if Monica could somehow visit Yugoslavia
during her tour -- which would enable them to cover not only
the war but Monica as well. Of course, if Monica somehow
developed a close relationship with Slobodan during the
visit ... now that would icing in the cake and perhaps even
help out our war effort. She could put her considerable
talents to use in distracting the Serbs like she did the
American people the past year, and maybe they might even
forget their original objective in Kosovo. Just think -- we
might not have to send in ground troops after all."
Matt Ackeret was amazed to hear that much of my reader mail
on "Politically Incorrect" is negative. He writes, "Have
these people actually ever watched the show? I thought the
idea was stupid when I first heard about it ('a comedic
McLaughlin Group'). But 'PI' is among my favorite TV shows
overall (not just late night shows). I probably even laugh
out loud at 'PI' even more than I do for something on
Letterman's show. During almost every show, someone says
something really funny. You have to be semi-conscious of
the world around you to get some of Bill Maher's monologue
jokes (though he often dumbs them down), but after that he
really explains in detail when they talk about something
that's been in the news."
Brian See, who went to school with actress Sara Gilbert
("Roseanne"), noted with interest the casting sheet for her
new sitcom pilot for CBS, "The Next Big Thing," which I
posted at the TV Barn website. The sheet calls for a cast
member who is "very pretty, very trendy, free spirited and a
touch off-center. She attended Harvard with Sara but dropped
out to come to Los Angeles ... " Brian writes, "Of course,
in Real Life, Sara Gilbert went to and graduated from Yale
University. I should know -- we graduated the same year and
were in the same residential college (i.e., dorm). Sara
kept away from publicity, and for the most part people
respected her wishes. Still, we were proud that she was
associated with Yale. I remember a crowded TV room bursting
into cheers during her 'Saturday Night Live' appearance,
when an 'SNL' castmember appeared wearing a Yale hat. I'm
sure a lot of people will be disappointed to hear that Sara
will be playing a cantab on TV." Maybe so, but Yale is no
Ball State, bub ...
And a reader named Joni takes issue with a couple of things
I wrote about the debut of "Late Late Show with Craig
Kilborn." She writes, "I've read quite a few reviews of
Kilborn's show and while not glowing, they've generally been
kind. After all, he's only been on a week, these shows take
a while to find out what works and what doesn't. As for
Craig's so-called 'act' being suspiciously like his old one
on 'The Daily Show' ... could it be that's why CBS wanted
him? Do you really think he was going to change his whole
image? If it was fine for Dave to take his top ten lists and
his stupid pet tricks, why isn't it alright if Craig takes
his trademark routines?"
"Suddenly" Strickland tribute
You may have heard that production on the Brooke Shields sitcom, "Suddenly Susan" (the future of which looks about as grim as the Shields-Andre Agassi union) had shut down following the news that cast member David Strickland, in trouble with drugs and the law, had killed himself. Now it appears the show is going back into taping for one last episode: a tribute to Strickland's character Todd. Read the casting sheet from Backstage Pass.
Must-bleed TV
It's amazing how the pendulum of public opinion veers your way when you own every broadcast outlet still on the air. That's what ethnic cleanser Slobodan Milosevic is accomplishing ever since he shut down independent media and began using state-run TV to whip up war fever among young Serbians. Last October Serbian TV began airing a hot new music video that encourages viewers to take up arms to defend their beloved country. The video airs 20 or more times a day. Combined with strategic showings of films designed to reacquaint viewers with the centuries-old conflicts that have involved their ancestors, the full televised assault is having its intended effect, according to this report from The New Republic's correspondent in Belgrade.
>>> Aaron Barnhart's TVBARN.COM

Articles for week of April 19, 1999
- CNN chairman Tom Johnson sent the following memo to employees of the network Tuesday afternoon as news crews began to descend on Columbine High in Littleton, Colo.: "CNN's coverage must be the model for responsible, sensitive coverage of this story. No microphones thrust in the faces of grieving parents. We will not participate in a media siege on somebody's lawn. We must be competitive and aggressive. For all of us, think of these people in Littleton as if they were members of your own family, your own mother and father."
- Meanwhile, CNN is saying the blowing-up of Serbian state TV has provoked "hard questions." Really? Well, here's a hard question I have -- what happened to all the independent media in Serbia? The answer: Slobodan Milosevic's henchmen shut 'em all down. Serbia is not Iraq; the state was not the only one broadcasting at the time of the war. But now they are, thanks to an oppressive "information law" Milosevic rammed through Serbia's Parliament last October. I'll have more on the plight of independent media in Serbia on Monday; in the meantime check out this story and this website all about Serbia's last independent news source, Radio B92, shut down by the Serbian government April 2.
- Tom Heald observes: "NBC which may not actually know it's running 'SCTV,' probably had no
idea which one aired Thursday night: Season No. 4's "The Godfather," in
which most of the 'SCTV' news crew, the 'Today Show,' 'The NFL Today,' and 'Three's
Company' are all gunned down in a gangland war among the networks. Funny stuff!"
- NBC has slipped in another week of "SCTV" repeats in the "Later" time period this week. As usual, the network did not give the press any discernible advance notice. So set your VCRs -- you've still got three more nights.
- How P.O.'d are Fox affiliates at the network for reclaiming 22 percent of their commercial time? That is a defining theme this week as the National Association of Broadcasters confab kicked into high gear Monday in Las Vegas. Keynoter Ted Turner entertained his audience by asking them how many WB affiliates were in the audience, then saying, "We won't screw you or lie to you ... I'm not Rupert Murdoch!" (Time Warner owns Turner's networks and the WB.) But Daily Variety reports a conciliatory air between Fox and its affiliated stations, despite the screwing. James Kennedy, who heads the respected Cox broadcast group, downplayed the tension, saying the current state of the TV industry is "as unsettled as it ever has been."
- "The Daily Show's" Jon Stewart will be the cover boy for the June issue of Details, the first cover under new Details editor Mark Golin, former editor of British ladmag Maxim. The New York Post says the decision to go with Stewart reflects worries at the magazine's owner, Conde Nast, "that high-end fashion advertisers are jittery and ready to pull out of the magazine if they sense the
magazine is going too dramatically downmarket." (Translation: No busty babes on the cover for the time being.)
A fan with a mission
I'm a little late to discover the newest contribution to the
genre of late-night TV books, but maybe I can make up for it
by moving a few more copies of Dan Wagner's self-published
Getting to Howard: The Odyssey of an Obsessed Howard Stern
Fan, issued last September. It is the surprisingly
absorbing account of a freelance photographer based in New
York City who one day faxes in a joke to Stern's radio show
and gets a huge adrenaline rush when it's read on the air.
So intoxicating is the thrill, in fact, that Wagner
immediately sets to crafting more faxes of ever-increasing
complexity. Many of these also get read on the air. Eat,
sleep, breathe: Wagner starts hanging out online in Stern
chat rooms. He stalks some of the quasi-celebrities he's
seen on Stern's late-night TV show on E! He endures an
eight-hour ordeal at a Stern book signing. He's hired as an
extra at the filming of a large crowd scene in Stern's
movie. And in the coup de grace of this tour de force,
Wagner successfully bluffs his way into Stern's studio,
where he bamboozles the King of All Media for more than 10
minutes.
Far from just another uncritical homage to a star, this is a
first-person account of media manufacture cleverly disguised
as media obsession. Wagner claims to be just another
celebrity-crazed fan, but he's too self-knowing to really
believe that, and the book, which works on a couple of
different levels, belies his simplistic explanation. For
starters, all those his faxes he wrote (and published here)
are uniformly hilarious, worthy of show writer Jackie "The
Joke Man" Martling. Wagner's ear captures the MAD Magazine
sensibility of Stern perfectly. That voice continues
throughout "Getting To Howard," as when Wagner spots Joey
Buttafuoco's lawyer, Dominic Barbara, at a book signing for
"Private Parts":
"I don't know what Dominic was expecting when he came out to
give the fans a once-over. Perhaps he thought he would be
cheered. Howard's stray cats just can't accept the fact that
the fans are there to see Howard -- not them ... We were
making great sport of shoving our books as close to
Dominic's face as possible. He was frantically signing the
picture of himself while sweating like a pig. The situation
was overwhelming him. I shoved my open book within a half
inch of his face. I was tempted to snap the book shut on his
fat nose ... The scene resembled a National Geographic
wildlife film. Dominic was the sickly wildebeest about to be
felled by a pack of wild hyenas ... I admit that I'm jealous
of Dominic's nearly unlimited access to Howard, which is why
seeing Dominic run for his life was a high point of the book
signing."
Later, however, Wagner admits to mailing Barbara and his
wife a picture he took of them, cased in an expensive frame,
in hopes it will get him invited to Stern's 45th birthday
party.
Wagner's energy and resourcefulness are something else. Less
than six months after that first fax is read on-air, he
realizes his ultimate fantasy by audaciously pranking Stern
into thinking he's won an Emmy. And for a guy who wasn't
even a regular listener until the end of 1995, it's
remarkable that "Getting to Howard" got into stores less
than three years after his odyssey began. (The book is
filled with photographs taken by the author of Stern, his
staff and various members of the show's auxiliary of misfits
and lunatics known as the "Wack Pack.")
"Getting to Howard" is rendered in a confessional style I
found ingratiating. Wagner cheerfully recounts his
radio-caller impulse that got him hooked on Stern in the
first place; his opening anecdote about accidentally winning
a contest on a children's call-in show opens the book on a
deftly self-deprecating note. And it seems there are few
extremes to which Wagner does not go to brush up against
even the lamest outposts of Stern's empire (an entire
chapter, for example, is devoted to manicky Stern hanger-on
Kenneth Keith Kallenbach). Wagner pragmatically puts his
photographer's credentials to good use, particularly with
Stern's longtime sideman Fred Norris, who needs publicity
shots of his band and is willing to hang with Wagner in
order to get them.
Another chapter is devoted to an on-air feud Wagner started
with Stern regular Melrose Larry Green (lovingly illustrated
with photos Wagner took of Melrose; in many of them
Melrose's pants are down around his ankles). While Wagner's
loathing of Melrose may be for show, he's genuine in his
affection for Fred "Elephant Boy" Schreiber, who also rates
a chapter and accompanying photo spread.
In every chapter, Wagner is a dervish in motion, trying
anything to get Stern's attention. But his asides are rather
thoughtful, and he seems to have every major player on the
program -- Stern, sidekick Robin Quivers, producer Gary
Dell'Abate, Martling -- accurately figured out. I need
hardly add that this is a book for a self-selecting
readership -- people who don't mind looking at photographs
of the semi-famous giving them the finger, wading through
pages of scatalogical humor and reading faxes from various
put-on characters such as Punjab, the Raj of All Tantric
Sex.
In the end, Wagner is not so much a Howard Stern fan as he
is a content provider, supplying occasional grist for
Stern's five-hour-a-day radio mill, posting zillions of
incendiary messages on Prodigy's bulletin boards, developing
rolls of film and, after all that, producing this
laff-a-minute book (which, thanks to his wife's editing and
a friend's book design, looks pretty darned spiff as well).
But the surest sign might be Wagner's website,
danwagner.com, a slick showcase of high-profile corporate
photography that contains nary a mention of Howard. Having
"gotten to Howard," Wagner is getting back to some real-life
obsessions -- the kind that pay the bills.
Will Disney's hardball tactics backfire?
One of the hottest stories in broadcasting at this week's big NAB show was the rapid ascension of hostilities between networks and their affiliates. And in the center ring -- ABC, owned by Walt Disney Co., and its affiliates board, led by Hearst-Argyle Television, the largest non-network owner of ABC stations. Hearst owns the big rock candy mountain of TV stations in Kansas City; KMBC-TV is one of the top five ABC stations in the country. In my TVKC column Saturday, I outline the ABC-Hearst feud and the potentially turmoil it could cause for viewers if it continues to escalate. Both sides agree the future of free over-the-air TV as we know it is at stake. They just can't agree how to save it and their own hides at the same time. Read the story
Kill your television
Drawing courtesy TV-Free America
Tonight is the first night of "TV-Turnoff Week." Supporters of the seven-day TV fast are recommending you read a book instead of turning on the tube. In that case, may I suggest The Greatest Generation by NBC's Tom Brokaw, The Century by ABC's Peter Jennings, or perhaps Dean Koontz's Mr. Murder, which will air as a made-for-TV movie next week?
Seriously, I don't think TV-Turnoff Week is that farfetched an idea. But I don't like the implications of the group sponsoring TV-Turnoff Week, a pack of authors and journalists banded together and calling themselves TV-Free America. It is this group's unspoken agenda to convince enlightened not to take the moving image as seriously as the printed word. And that's just wrongheaded, as I argue in a essay that appeared Thursday in the Kansas City Star. Read my essay
Nanny, nanny nanny, hey hey, goodbye
From all around the world they've come -- letters demanding that CBS do something about "The Nanny," the long-running Fran Drescher sitcom that suddenly vanished from the network's schedule last month. Long a staple of CBS's Wednesday nights, the show was yanked after its ratings continued to dwindle downwards this winter. "The Nanny," in its sixth and final season, will return for a finale May 12 (not May 19 as previously announced). But there are four or five other episodes that have been produced that CBS won't put on its schedule. And that has fans seeing red.
"DEAR SIRS MADAMS," begins one e-mail that was cc'd to me this week. "I REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT I WILL NO LONGER BE WATCHING YOUR STATION. I HAVE BEEN A CBS FAN SINCE MY GRANDMOTHER WATCHED GUNSMOKE IN THE 50'S. YOUR RECENT ACTIONS CONCERNING THE LAST EPISODES OF THE NANNY HAS PROMPTED THIS ACTION."
Another reads, "I live in Uruguay but the same as so many friends from all over the world undertook a fight toward the CBS that since this decided to cancel our favorite program not emitting the last 6 episodes made by our admirable actors of this program, but the truth today we are needing of their help so that this program is not please canceled."
Actually, the future status of "The Nanny" is not in any doubt -- there is none. The show has had six seasons on CBS and is now airing in syndication. During much of that span Drescher & Co. saved the network's bacon on Wednesday nights, where CBS has for years had trouble getting an audience at 8 o'clock. But after 100-plus episodes, only shows pulling in superb numbers get to continue. "The Nanny," anyone in Hollywood will tell you, has had a remarkable run, turning what appeared at first to be a one-joke wonder into a durable sitcom that has crept into the top five percent of all TV shows ever made.
But back to those unaired episodes. I spoke with a CBS spokesman Tuesday, who assured me that "the next time you see Fran will be in the finale." The reason: "Payne," the new John Larroquette "Fawlty Towers" knockoff the network very much would like to see take "Nanny's" place Wednesdays at 8. The problem is that by itself, "Payne" pulled in such weak ratings at 8 p.m. that the network felt it needed to move the show to 8:30 and give it a strong lead-in at 8.
Fans don't buy that explanation, either. "How do they expect to gain viewer loyalty when they take a show off the air for two months, preempt it one week, put it in a different time slot the next, and then pull the show only after advertising that the final seven episodes will be airing?" asks one e-mailer. "What makes things worse is that CBS will not even admit that their decision is wrong. Their little plan is not working -- Raymond is doing worse than The Nanny did in that time slot!"
Well, let's talk about that for a minute. In the business, "Payne" needs what they call "sampling" -- getting people who seen the show to check it out and, hopefully, like what they see. (If they do, then the show will have what they call "traction." Isn't TV terminology great?) CBS made the call that "The Nanny," with its so-so Wednesday ratings, was not going to bring in the sampling levels "Payne" needed. So instead repeats of "Cosby" and "Everybody Loves Raymond," two strong Monday night shows, have been repeating Wednesdays at 8, followed by an episode of "Payne." The results have been uncertain at best; certainly it's too early to claim any "traction" for "Payne." But comparing "Nanny" ratings to "Payne" ratings, while it has a certain common-sense appeal, make no sense when you factor in the network agenda. "Payne" is a potential future hit for CBS; "Nanny" isn't. "Payne" will wither and die if it doesn't get exposed to enough viewers; "Nanny" is kaput after this season anyway. And looking at a "Raymond" repeat's 6 rating and saying, "Fran could beat that no praahhhh-blem," is to miss the point. Even if should could rope in a 7 rating, and the evidence is far from clear that she could, it would mean less to CBS than a 6 or 6.5 rating coming from a repeat of a show that brings viewers over from a stronger night.
That said, will those unaired episodes see the light of day? They certainly will, and probably no later than this fall. Columbia Tri-Star, which owns "The Nanny" and is responsible for its syndication, will include all sixth-season episode in the repeat cycle that begins this fall, the second year of "Nanny" reruns in syndication. Currently all shows from the first five seasons are airing in repeats. A Columbia Tri-Star spokesman couldn't comment on the situation in Uruguay, Australia, Malaysia, Argentina, France or any other foreign markets represented by the e-mails sent to the TV Barn, but he was relatively certain that all "Nanny" episodes would eventually make it to those countries as well. After all, they don't make the studio any money sitting on the shelf.
Oh, and this: the CBS spokesman had not ruled out airing the unseen episodes this summer, when of course the network will be dying for anything that's not a repeat.
Anyone interested in more details about the campaign to get "The Nanny" back on the air before (or after) the finale should head to this unofficial "Nanny" website.
Reader mail
Kilby was here. John Gruber writes, "I love the new 'Late Late
Show.' It's heresy for me to say this, but I'd rather watch
Kilborn than Letterman (although I'm watching both most
nights). Kilborn did a great job handling an awkward
interview with the apparently stoned Kid Rock last week. Kid
Rock was just being an un-funny jackass, answering his
Buzzword hints with pseudo-Freudian eighth grader answers
like 'penis' and 'sex.' Kilborn just shut him up after the
second hint, said the interview was over, and smoothly cut
to commercial. I think that was a situation Conan would have
handled differently, and for the worse. I like a late
night talk show host who's not a nice guy."
Mike Phillips writes, "Having watched Craig Kilborn's first
few shows, I'm depressed. In the half dozen shows I watched,
I can't recall one original or inventive moment -- not ONE.
If one is going to do lines about Kosovo and refugees they
had best be brilliant or at least insightful. To my ear,
Craig's attempts barely result in mild embarrassed snickers
from his captured audience. It's your basic 'SNL' formula of
recent years -- 'We wouldn't know funny if we stepped on it,
so we're going to be outrageous.' Sorry, Craig, but you and
your writers are not Sam Kinison or Dennis Miller. I bet CBS
would never have let Tom Snyder say 'I came in my pants' as
Craig actually did last week. Of course, Tom didn't need
to."
Long longtime reader Karla Robinson adds, "Why, oh why can't
we have something different, like maybe a female talk show
host in late night? There are plenty of likely suspects I'd
suggest for the job: Bonnie Hunt, Merrill Markoe, Janeane
Garofalo, or Paula Poundstone -- any of whom would offer an
interesting change of pace from the rest. Hell, I'd settle
for some female writers on these shows: on Kilborn's
program I counted two women's names in the credits: line
producer and costumer. Don't get me wrong; I do like the
particular sensibility brought to the table by David
Letterman and Conan O'Brien, but I just don't think we need
yet another replica of those guys in this particular time
slot. It's like the network suits think that women have a
lock on the daytime talk arena and won't give women a chance
in late night. Are the demographics of these late night
shows so overwhelmingly male that the suits don't want to
chance alienating any elements of an already small
audience?"
A reader who works at a radio station in Kentucky writes,
"Just thought you'd like to know that the network has not
wasted any time in making a spin-off for marketing Craig
Kilborn. CBS Radio is now distributing the 'Five Questions'
segment of the 'Late Late Show.' Like Letterman's Top Ten,
it is designed to be run the morning after the show airs,
and it appears that they are marketing it primarily to
alternative rock stations. The program is syndicated by
Westwood One, which already offers 'Top Ten List,' 'Last
Night on the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno,"' and 'Last Night
on "Larry King Live."' All of which makes Westwood One the
clear leader in last night's radio programming."
Jaimie Birk attended a taping of Kilborn's show and writes,
"I was surprised at how small the studio was. I knew it
wasn't big, but it was even smaller than I expected. There
were probably 100-120 people in the audience. The guy who
was supposed to get us laughing, and excited, was a bit
lame. Way too spastic. But the show itself was really
funny. I was a bit disappointed when I heard who the guests
were going to be (Merv Griffin, Charles Dutton, and the lead
singer from Sugar Ray) ... but it turned out really good.
Craig is the same (completely insincere, in a hilarious way)
off camera is he is on. He looked a lot more at ease than
he did in the first week. The taping went off without a
hitch. They had to go back and get Roc's scar after the show
was over, but that was it. It actually took longer to get
seated than to watch the show, I think! Anyway, I had a
great time. But then again, I think Kilby is hilarious, so
it makes sense that I liked it."
Men wanted. Meanwhile on the other coast Steve Cohn writes, "I work
about a block away from the Ed Sullivan Theater and over the
past two months, they've been asking males (myself included)
to attend same day tapings of the Letterman show. It's
happened to me about three times in the last month. This
fits in pretty well, with what you were saying about how
they are trying to get more males into the audience."
Nuthin's on. Ed Bauman, responding to my article last week on the high
levels of redundancy in cable TV content, writes, "The more
space there is, the less innovative programming there seems
to be. I have digital cable and get close to 90 channels
plus some premiums (four HBOs and three Showtimes), and what
do they fill it with? Discovery alone has managed to turn
one channel into at least eight, but there isn't eight times
more programming. It's like the Parkinson's law of air time
-- the same programming expands to fill the available space.
I couldn't care less about 500 channels based on what we
have now."
Rob Middleton adds this: "A few years ago I got into C-SPAN
and watched it avidly. I watch less now, but I still count
it as one of my favorite sources of programming. Odd, since
I am not particularly interested in politics. I think it's
that television's potential for community-building is
largely neglected, even by stations which supposedly act 'in
the public interest.' (That requirement seems to the major
networks to mean airing a stream of public service
announcements -- many of them aimed at kids and families --
at around 2 a.m. when ads aren't selling anyway.) Brian
Lamb, the C-SPAN school bus, talking about presidents,
visits to historical sites, talking with non-celebrity
authors ... it all just feels so good and good for you."
The NFL drag
The annual NFL college draft is eye-blurring, less-than-riveting television. Even the most dogged Cleveland Browns fan had to be dozing during most of ESPN's seemingly endless weekend coverage of the 7-round draft. But don't blame Chris Berman and his crew, who cram more facts, stats, graphics, sound, video and personality into their draft coverage than you'll find in that EA Sports' "NFL Live '99" computer game. The difference is the computer game eventually ends.
I watched the first two hours of the draft at home before heading to Kauffman Stadium, where I kept one eye on the Royals-White Sox game on the field and the other on a TV set in the suite turned to ESPN. Three hours later I headed home, tuned to Sports Fan Radio's coverage. And it was still the first round. My wife Donna refused to share our dinner meal with Mel Kiper, Jr., so I'm not sure when exactly Round 1 concluded. Suffice it to say that anything that moves slower than A Thin Red Line needs condensing. Why not hold the draft in private on Thursday and Friday, then publicly announce the selections on network television Sunday evening, a la the Academy Awards? Maybe Mike Ditka would show up in a backless evening gown.
Rating ESPN's draft horses:
- Chris Berman. The undisputed leader in sports television. No one combines humor, knowledge and delivery as well as Boomer. But he needs to stop getting his hair trimmed at the hardware store.
- Mel Kiper, Jr.: This grown-up Eddie Munster is the best NFL draft expert around, which I suspect is why he catches so much heat from lesser lights. Again with the hair: How come Kiper's is the same shade of Jerry Glanville-black that it was in those 20-year-old film clips ESPN loves to show?
- Captain Joe Theismann: He's too cute for his age. Whiny. But Theismann knows his stuff and his bluntness is effective. For best results, close your eyes when Theismann starts yapping.
- Mike Tirico: Does this guy trip over anything? Tirico is as versatile as one of George Washington Carver's peanuts and typically just as hard to spot. Two traits many TV personalities should make more of an effort to acquire.
- Ron Jaworski: Loud and getting louder. A never-ending stream of dull information delivered at fever pitch. He must feel he needs to live up to his nickname -- "Jaws."
- Marty Schottenheimer: Uhhhhhhh, quite frankly, Marty should have kept his day job (and probably would have if it had really been his decision). On the plus side, his TV hair looks marvelous.
- Sal Paolantonio: After 13 weeks of "The Sopranos," I'm not dissin' anybody named Sal. In my opinion the guy's a made man. Fuhgeddaboutit.
- Andrea Kremer: When the wide-eyed Kremer first debuted on ESPN I was sure she was there simply to improve the huge disparity of ESPN's on-air male/female ratio. But she has improved to the point that I look forward to her reports. Her emotional interview a few years back with the Vikings' Cris Carter made me re-evaluate her work.
- Hank Goldberg: The not-so-golden boy looks old enough to have reported on Papa Bear's first draft pick. Main mission seems to be convincing the rest of us that one day, we too will be on television.
I was out of the room and Donna was folding laundry when ESPN's new promotional commercial appeared showing their sports anchors auditioning for parts in Jerry Maguire. When I returned to the room, she could not stop her gut-bending guffaws long enough to explain the spot. Anything that can get Donna to laugh like that (and doesn't involve me in a prone position) deserves kudos.
Quotes of note:
"When does that NFL concubine start?"
--Anonymous Kansas City sports-talk radio caller, prior to the NFL combine.
GH: When the hell did it end?
"We feel were giving up an orchard for an apple tree but it's a darn good apple tree."
--Mike Ditka, on trading all of his 1999 picks and two 2000 picks for Ricky Williams, CNNSI
GH: Ditka might want to stay our of apple trees or at least try climbing down instead of leaping out of 'em onto his noggin.
"These top four quarterbacks (in the 1999 draft) aren't nearly in the class of (Peyton) Manning and (Ryan) Leaf."
--Tom Hoeffler, Ourlads Scouting Service, ESPN Radio
GH: Since when did people start using the word "class" and Ryan Leaf's name in the same sentence?
"People who think Cordell Stewart can run, they ain't seen nothin'. Donovan McNabb will be the most elusive quarterback to ever play the position."
--L-Dog, ESPN Radio host
GH: Are you forgetting Art Schlichter?
"All this and no beady-eyed guy with a weird on-air delivery."
--Vince Cellini, promoting CNNSI's coverage of the NFL draft as opposed to what you might find on ESPN, CNNSI
GH: I love it when you boys fight in public.
"This whole thing started because one guy asked another guy, 'What time is it?'"
--Steve Lyons, on how the nasty brawl at Veterans Stadium last Monday got started between shirtless (but far from belly-less) Philly fans, Fox Sports
GH: The City of Brotherly Love never looked more luverly -- or shall we say blubbery?
--Greg Hall is the former sports TV-radio columnist for the Kansas City Star and is now heard weeknights on sports-talk radio station KCTE 1510 AM.
Roe, redux
What if the Supreme Court reversed itself on a decision that guaranteed a right that is taken for granted by millions? And what if the fate of one person depended on how one Supreme Court justice voted? Those are two of the many legal and moral questions asked in "Swing Vote," airing 9 p.m. Monday on ABC. Executive producer Jerry Bruckheimer, in a departure from the action drama that defines much of his resume (including last year's ABC movie stinker "Max Q"), assembles a feature-film-quality cast to produce this substantial, character-driven drama.
The story: Somewhere in the not-too-distant future the U.S. Supreme Court overturns the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision that legalized abortion nationally. In the year since the court turned regulation of abortion back to the states, Alabama passes a law so restrictive that a woman who has an abortion in that state can be charged with first-degree murder. A woman named Virginia Mapes has an abortion and is convicted of murder. The Supreme Court is called into emergency session to rule on Mapes v. Alabama in an atmosphere of explosive public protest and polarized national opinion.
Andy Garcia ("The Godfather: Part III") plays a newly appointed justice -- the swing vote -- who invites pressure from all corners and whose final call in the case is the movie's chief suspense. Robert Protsky plays the chief justice in search of a solid majority upholding the Alabama law, a master of the art of subtle arm-twisting among his fellow justices. The stellar supporting cast includes Harry Belafonte, James Whitmore, Kate Nelligan and Ray Walston as Supreme Court justices who try to sway the new justice. Lisa Gay Hamilton of ABC's "The Practice" plays the defendant Mapes.
Both sides of the abortion issue are explored without reducing the people on either side of the divide to cliches. The arguments range from reasoned to passionate without simplifying the difficult moral and ethical components of the abortion issue. -- Harrison Wyman
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Articles for week of April 26, 1999
- Okay, so it turns out that "Lazlo Toth" was a dummy name being used by staff at "Politically Incorrect" to shield the real identity of the guest on Thursday's show: author Salman Rushdie, who continues to take more than the average number of precautions when making public appearances. The name of Toth was simply a "place holder," as one "PI" staffer told TV Barn. (See fourth item below for more.)
- Attention New Yorkers: Media master-hoaxer Joey Skaggs -- profiled last month in TV Barn -- is staging a 20-year retrospective of his work between now and May 21 at the CBGB Gallery, 313 Bowery Street @ Bleecker in NYC. Admission is free.
- The slayings in Littleton got me wondering: Whatever became of the V-chip? Remember how the V-chip was going to make it possible for parents to block violent content on their TV's? As I learned in this brief report for the Kansas City Star, the V-chip is not exactly taking the market by storm.
- Reader Dave Friedman points out that Bill Maher's guest list for this Thursday's "Politically Incorrect" includes one Lazlo Toth, which probably means Don Novello, who used that nom de plume on a series of oddball inquiries mailed to celebrities and companies in the late '80s and early '90s. A surprisingly number of his correspondents wrote back, and the results were then published in SPY magazine and later anthologized in book form.
- A reader in Washington, D.C., writes, "Monday marked the high-definition TV debut of 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.' Here in Washington -- a market
that has several HDTV stations broadcasting -- the
entire 'standard' broadcast had the audio out of
sync. I wonder if those three people with HDTV sets
experienced problems." Pal Tom Roche concurs: "The good news is that 'The Tonight Show' is now produced in HDTV. The bad news is the vast majority of Americans will see a show that essentially looks no different than before, except that the picture and the sound are now one frame out of sync (due to the delay caused by downconverting the HDTV picture back to standard definition)."
- David Spade cancelled his "Dennis Miller Live" appearance scheduled for this Friday. "Mr. Show's" Bob Odenkirk and David Cross will take his place.
NOW what are they doing to "Homicide"?
Some of us were just starting to get our hopes up that NBC would leave "Homicide," its outstanding Friday-night detective series, alone for a while. But along came "Providence." Its success at 7 p.m. positively affected "Dateline" at 8, giving it a huge ratings lift. But ratings for "Homicide" at 9 stayed pretty much where they were, which means we now find ourselves approaching renewal time with the future of Baltimore's best again in limbo.
There may be a fate worse than death for this show, however: a makeover engineered by network bean counters. Horrifying as that sounds, it may be happening. During the April 9 episode NBC urged viewers to switch on their PCs and take a special "online survey." The survey, conducted by the Lou Harris polling firm, asked viewers to assess the pacing of the show, whether viewers would tune in an hour earlier if the show followed "Providence," and even how much each character "added to your enjoyment."
Mike Giardello (Giancarlo Esposito) confronts a crazed dad (Ron Eldard) who takes his two kids hostage on tonight's "Homicide." (NBC Photo)
Perhaps most insulting to longtime fans were the questions that asked viewers to rate each story line as "very entertaining," "somewhat entertaining," etc. These questions go to the heart of a longstanding dispute between the show's producers and NBC brass, who object to certain story lines and try to have them killed, such as last year's exploration of Bayliss' (Kyle Secor) bisexuality.
Friday's episode demonstrates why "Homicide" is best left up to the experts. It revolves around a single story line -- a hostage crisis involving a dad and his two kids -- and the emotional and ethical torment it creates for chief negotiator Mike Giardello (Giancarlo Esposito in a moving performance). Like the Peabody-winning episode "The Subway," this episode breaks from the formula that dictates every episode needs two or three interweaving story lines to keep viewers riveted.
Postcard from Stuckeyville
Letterman executive producer Rob Burnett phoned in last week from the set of "Stuckeyville," his long-awaited comedy collaboration with Letterman writer Jon Beckerman. If you're thinking "sitcom" in the spirit of "Everybody Loves Raymond" -- the hit from Letterman's production company Worldwide Pants -- you're way off. This show is shot with a single camera and no laugh track. Burnett wants it to be a quirky, unconventional entry in either the half-hour or hour arena, like "The Wonder Years" or "Northern Exposure." (Which, and this is me talking, would make "Stuckeyville" a perfect candidate to follow the four Monday-night sitcoms on CBS and not that hideous "L.A. Doctors.")
"There are dramatic things and hopefully funny things mixed together here," said Burnett. "It's very filmic. There's a lot of production value in it. I think when people see it they'll think they've seen a very good one-hour movie."
The show is stocked with unknown talent, led by Tom Cavanaugh, whose name I'm probably botching. Viacom came in at the last minute as a co-producer with Worldwide, outbidding Disney and Fox by agreeing to move the show's production to New York City should "Stuckeyville" be picked up.
But this of course raises a larger question: What of Burnett's tenure on the Letterman show? That, it turns out, is anyone's guess. Senior producers Maria Pope and Barbara "Gaines" Gaines have been filling in for Burnett while he has been in California shooting "Stuckeyville." But should the show get picked up, no question a transition will need to be made. This comes as no surprise to veteran Letterman watchers; three years ago, when former EP Robert "Morty" "Bob" Morton was fired, Burnett was presented with a choice: take Morty's spot and put his TV show dreams on hold, or go out to California. Letterman promised to give the project his full support when the time came if only Burnett would take the top job on the talk show. Burnett agreed, and now he says Letterman has been true to his word.
"Dave is extremely supportive of this effort," said Burnett. "He knows how important it is to us."
And if "Stuckeyville" gets picked up? "We'd have to figure it out," he said. "It depends on how big an order we get. I guess we'll tiptoe up to it."
Serbia's silenced radio rebels
It's said that in war the first casualty is the truth. That
would certainly describe what happened to Radio B92 in
Belgrade, Serbia's last remaining independent news source,
after NATO warplanes began their bombing raids last month.
Central Europe's best-known pirate radio station signed on
in 1989, at about the time of Slobodan Milosevic's
ascendancy, and the one has been a thorn in the side of the
other ever since. Twice the Serbian dictator has tried to
shut B92 down; twice it returned to the air, the second time
through an ingenious system that piped B92 programming out
of Serbia via the Internet to the BBC, which beamed it back
in.
But on March 24, the day the bombing began, authorities shut
down B92 and briefly detained its editor-in-chief, Veran
Matic. Ten days later, the general manager was replaced with
a Milosevic toady and the station was turned into a
propaganda arm of the state.
The silencing of B92 ought to have sparked outrage among
journalists in the U.S., particularly B92's peers in the
electronic media. Instead, CNN, MSNBC and Fox News have
fixated on just two stories from the war-torn area -- the
bombing and the Kosovo refugee crisis -- and on gathering
riveting visuals from the war to fill the hours in between
NATO and State Department briefings.
Adding insult to injury, this craving for visuals has turned
out to be a huge gift to B92's enemy, Radio Television
Serbia (RTS). Its government-filtered feed is used
constantly as a source on newscast after newscast, resulting
in hundreds of hours of free branding for RTS.
CNN and the others take great care to point out RTS's
editorial bent. But no one is asking the obvious question:
What happened to the other Serbian news outlets? In this
regard the Western media are playing right into the hands of
Mr. Milosevic, who would prefer that the world forget B92
ever existed.
The station's 50 full-time and 120 part-time employees have
always prided themselves on their independent thinking. (The
station's slogan is "Don't trust anyone, not even us.") But
now, hated by the regime and shunned by the West, B92 is --
as Mr. Matic ruefully noted to me in a recent e-mail
exchange -- "in the most independent position possible."
Although he has been urged by friends to get out of the
country, Mr. Matic is working with other B92 staffers to set
up shop yet again. Considering he once circumvented a
government shutdown by reading the news over loudspeakers in
the streets of Belgrade, one must assume Mr. Matic is
considering all his options.
Veran Matic, editor-in-chief of Radio B92.
We met in New York last fall on the day Mr. Matic addressed
a panel marking the 50th anniversary of the United Nations
human rights declaration. A compact and animated man, the
37-year-old Mr. Matic has spent 10 years staying one or two
steps ahead of the henchmen who run Serbia, an experience
that has refined his wonderfully morose (and
characteristically Serbian) sense of humor.
He recounted to me his attempts to get Westerners interested
in bringing the Internet to the former Yugoslavia in 1993.
Most people, he recalled, tried to talk him out of it.
"People said the Internet was too sophisticated for us," he
said. "They thought we needed tam-tams -- boom boom -- to
communicate with each other."
Fortunately Mr. Matic persevered, and with the aid of a
Dutch company B92 became Serbia's first Internet service
provider. (The station's robust Web site
includes a large audio archive of newscasts in English and
Serbian.)
Later, with the aid of philanthopist George Soros, Mr. Matic
set up the ANEM network to send B92 programming via
satellite to 33 radio stations throughout Serbia. (The BBC
uplinks the programs from the Internet to its transponder.)
Only about 30 percent of B92's broadcast day was devoted to
news and information, the rest to alternative rock and other
indigenous genres. Last year the station's popularity among
young listeners was recognized with an award from MTV
Europe.
For Mr. Matic, the battle with tyranny is not simply one of
truth over propaganda, but of local culture over imported
crypto-culture and good taste over appallingly bad taste.
(This may explain why American TV networks are not exactly
championing his cause.)
"We support alternative youth culture that doesn't have any
other outlet for its expression," Mr. Matic told me as we
lurched toward the UN in a crosstown cab. "Progressive
culture is always a threat to totalitarian regimes, which
like to promote kitsch. In Yugoslavia the promotion of
kitsch is monstrous. They base a great deal of their power
on the promotion of kitsch: kitsch culture, kitsch TV,
kitsch radio.
"For example, South American soap operas. They are extremely
popular in Yugoslavia. And so is this so-called 'turbo folk
music' -- bad folk music with a techno beat and totally
nonsensical, stupid verses. The people who are behind this
music, even the authors of the lyrics, have very close ties
to the regime.
"That's why this technology, the Internet, is so important,
because it's exactly the opposite of kitsch culture. In the
Internet, you always have a choice. You always have an
opposite view."
The month after our conversation, Serbia's Parliament passed
an absurd "information law" banning all unofficial media.
But ironically it took the NATO bombs -- and the galvanizing
effect it had inside Serbia -- to give Mr. Milosevic enough
power to shut down B92.
Mr. Milosevic is no more popular than he ever was, but with
all of Serbia unified against NATO's attacks, Mr. Matic said
the government has the wherewithal to crush pro-democracy
voices like B92.
So that leaves Mr. Matic to gather news like the rest of us,
by monitoring the big 24-hour news channels that in turn
rely heavily on Mr. Milosevic's RTS.
"Radio-Television Serbia has always been the locomotive
power of the Milosevic regime," Mr. Matic said in a recent
e-mail. "What is different this time is that it is the most
often quoted media outlet from Yugoslavia."
Nor does Mr. Matic think that is a coincidence. "The most
influential international networks have also come to
resemble RTS," he said. "Most of their programs are live
broadcasts from NATO briefings and news conferences, which
serve the direct purpose of propaganda. These are then
re-run innumerable numbers of times, same as on the RTS."
A Dutch-based group has formed in solidarity with B92. The
"Free B92" website plans to carry news
from inside Serbia and to rebuild B92's links to the outside
world.
(Note: This piece appears in the April 26 issue of Electronic Media. As the issue was going to press, CNN did in fact devote its Sunday newsmagazine "NewsStand" to covering Mr. Milosevic's lock on the Serbian press.)
Reader mail
Aubyn Fulton writes, "I found myself agreeing
with the first half of your article on situation comedies,
only to find that the program I see as most emblematic of
the problem, you made an example of the solution ('It's
like, you know ...'). Given the financial incentives I can
understand why Peter Mehlman argues that the problem with TV
is that it doesn't imitate itself enough. The problem with
Melhman's show is not that there are characters isomorphic
with 'Seinfeld,' it is the pathetically derivative attempt
to be amusingly quirky (not to mention the stale LA/NY
comparisons that get embarrassed laughs at even the lamest
comedy clubs). 'It's Like, You Know...' is not so much a
rip-off of 'Seinfeld' as it is a rip-off of 'Jerry!' -- the
fictional pilot. Maybe it will be a hit in Japan." Actually,
it's a hit right here, but point taken.
Lewis Leiboh writes, "Just in case you haven't heard enough
stories about Letterman ticketing and male-centric
audiences: A member of my fraternity here at MIT was called
recently by a Letterman staffer (we're pretty sure she got
the number from digging around on our web page) to offer us
25 tickets for the upcoming April 26th show. She said that
they wanted it to be all guys. So, we'll be making the trek
to New York City next week, which everyone's pretty excited
about."
Our pal Joe at the Lizz Winstead tribute page writes, "Forget about
NBC's new show 'Everything's Relative.' It was already done
way back in 1987 in the form of another sitcom on CBS
starring Jason Alexander. Also, when I see Fox's 'Family
Guy' I can't help but think of CBS' animated flop from '93,
'Family Dog.' I believe it was CBS' last foray into
prime-time animation."
Michael Jones read the sampling of outraged e-mails from
fans of "The Nanny" that appeared on the TV Barn website
last week. He writes, "Hey, it's sad if your favorite
program is getting axed -- but for God's sake, how about
adopting a healthier value system? I know I was depressed
for awhile after the last episode of 'Hogan's Heroes,' but I
don't recall taking it out on the network. Get over it!"
(P.S. Another reader informs me that CBS did agree to air
the unseen "Nanny" episodes over the summer, thanks
apparently to the hue and cry that went out among Nannyfans.)
Not surprisingly, a couple of anti-TV cranks found their way
to the TV Barn website -- undoubtedly for the first and last
time -- to leave an e-mail about my essay on TV-Turnoff
Week. One wrote, "Your argument that if 'enlightened' people
stopped watching television that the MTV people would
dominate the airwaves is the same as arguing that if the
marijuana users of America stopped that all that would be
left is hard users. Look, when compared to any worthwhile
activity, television is worthless. You can give me the
classiest TV program (oxymoron!) and it would not compare to
watching the sunset, playing with your kids -- or meditating
about how much of your life was wasted absorbing commercial
messages. Yes, you make your living doing this, and for that
reason your opinion is the least expert on what life would
be like without the box. But consider, would our lives truly
ever miss 'Suddenly Susan'? It might be true that
programming could improve, as if a few jewels would
justify an entire medium. But its too late -- the idiots
have won, and TV will never be rescued as long as money is
to be made and people are willing to be manipulated for
mindless escape." A fascinating point, until you consider a
slightly rewritten version could be used against the publishing
and film industries.
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Copyright ©1999 Aaron Barnhart. Redistribution prohibited.
This page last updated 17-Jul-99 11:05 AM
>>> Aaron Barnhart's TVBARN.COM
About TV Barn
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Articles for week of May 3, 1999
- Hard luck for "Stuckeyville": A reader who attended the test screening of Rob Burnett's and Jon Beckerman's new quirky series "Stuckeyville" earlier this week writes TV Barn that on first look, the new show failed to impress. The reader writes, "Tom Cavanaugh, who plays the lead, isn't a bad comic actor but if you close your eyes you realize that his voice and even the way he reads his lines are virtual clones of Jon Stewart's delivery. Makes me wonder why they didn't give it to him. Janeane Garafolo makes a brief appearance in the pilot and is totally wasted. Might make a good fit on Monday nights as you suggestedÊbut the storyline seems a little weak and although the lead character is a likable goof in the opener, he has the potential to become gratingÊon the viewer very quickly." (The reader also reports the show is back to using its original title of "Ed.")
- Reader Clifford Orlofsky asks, "Could Hugh Downs' retirement have anything to do with this story about Disney's censoring Disney news stories at ABC?" Good question. Readers are invited to judge for themselves.
- Can't confirm this one yet, but reader Steve Baxley writes, "How's this for a Cinco De Mayo gift? While two of the stars of the Spanish-language TV
remake of 'Charlie's Angels' called 'Angeles' were in Los Angeles celebrating Mexican Independence Day on the KTLA morning show and promoting 'Angeles,' Telemundo, the network that co-produces the show, cancelled it."
Athletes' feats
Mickey Mantle, No. 37 in the ESPN list and subject of this weekend's "SportsCentury." (Photo: ESPN)
Every Friday night at 10:30 p.m., ESPN's "SportsCentury" continues its countdown of what, according to its panel, were the 50 greatest athletes of the 20th century. These half-hour programs have truly distinguished themselves at a time when the biography program has become the most easily copied product in all of cable TV.
This weekend brings us to Mickey Mantle, whose recent and well-publicized death, combined with his iconic status in New York, have produced a wealth of high-quality video stock. "SportsCentury" should have no trouble telling his story. But where this series has stood out is in its treatments of superstars whose names are only that to us today -- names.
Take "Big" Bill Tilden. Even those who dimly attach some distant glory to his name probably had little idea of his impact on the sport of tennis before seeing ESPN's "SportsCentury" profile of him a few weeks back. Tilden, who ranked No. 45 on ESPN's list, brought tennis into the national spotlight in the 1920s. He was as big a star as Babe Ruth and like Ruth, could completely dominate his opponents. But the first superstar of tennis had an amazing rise followed by an equally spectacular (and tragic) fall, which probably explains why he is so dimly remembered today.
Among the people who tell his story were journalist and Tilden biographer Frank Deford, sportswriters Bud Collins and the late Shirley Povich, and fellow tennis players from Don Budge to Jimmy Connors. From them we learn the story of a determined young man who overcame the death of his parents and almost every significant relative close to him by throwing himself completely into his sport. Tilden was the first American to win at Wimbeldon and won six consecutive U.S. amateur championships and seven straight Davis Cup titles in the 1920s. Then he turned professional and won $500,000 in a 7-year period in the 1930's, beating top amateurs in their 20s when he was in his early 40s. His social circle included Charlie Chaplin and F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Tilden lived an openly homosexual lifestyle that was not an issue when he was at the top of his game and fame. But by the time of his 1947 conviction for contributing to the delinquency of a minor, his exile from high society was complete and he became a pariah in the sport he had made popular. He taught lessons where he could and played professionally at whatever venues would have him, but died in 1953 at age 60, broke and alone. A small gravestone was the largest monument to his career--until this extraordinary tribute by ESPN.
--Harrison Wyman

View ESPN's list so far of the top 100 athletes of the century
Farewell, Hugh Downs
Just last night, in preparation for adding it to The TV Critic's Toolbox, I was re-reading Danny Schechter's terrific book The More You Watch, the Less You Know and in the chapter describing his years as a producer on ABC's "20/20" he had this to say about the incomparable Hugh Downs, who announced his retirement Wednesday:
"[Downs] was brought in after Roone [Arledge, ABC News president] did a talent search that consisted of turning on 'Good Morning America' and seeing Hugh doing a guest spot. By then, the onetime 'Today' sidekick had been reduced to anchoring 'Over Easy,' a talk show for seniors on PBS. ABC brought him back to the majors because his calming and reassuring presence could draw attention away from the hyperactive editing and add a credible and familiar personality to the mix.
"I came to admire Hugh, although his job usually came down to reading lines he didn't write. He also fronted/reported some segments including some I produced, always displaying a broad intelligence and an earnest desire to get it right. He was one of the best-known personas in TV. His book On Camera (out of print) was subtitled My 10,000 House on Television, and he is one of the few TV personalities to have had that much face time on the tube. He is also a licensed airplane pilot and once recorded an album of folk songs. As the American head of a committee that supports UNICEF, he held strong international interests, was very absorbed in science and aerospace, and wasn't shy about expressing independent opinions such as speaking out for marijuana decriminalization or even criticizing self-censorship in television. 'The reason for a growing concern about censorship is because it does exist, in both subtle and unsubtle forms,' Downs wrote in one of the annual reports of Project Censored, which covers suppressed stories in America."
Hugh Downs first rose to fame in the 1950s as Jack Paar's brainy sidekick on the "Tonight" show, then in the '60s as host of "Concentration." (About Paar, Downs once famously cracked, "He doesn't have mental disease -- he's only a carrier.") He leaves "20/20" after 21 seasons.
Read the story
David Letterman's network time killer
For once, David Letterman had an A-list newsmaker guest booked for Wednesday's "Late Show": the Rev. Jesse Jackson, fresh from liberating three U.S. hostages in Serbia. But what do you do when that guest is stuck in traffic between the airport and the Ed Sullivan Theater? Fall back on your skills as a broadcaster and ad-lib like mad. Easy to say, hard to do, but Letterman did it, turning in one of his more entertaining tour de forces of late.
As a result of Jackson's delay, the oddball secondary guest -- bass fisherman Denny Brauer -- became the lead guest and part of the longest interview on fishing ever conducted outside of cable TV. As part of his segment, Brauer was to show off his casting skills by standing across stage and aiming for a barrel in front of the band. But he had trouble hitting the target. After several casts, Letterman broke in with the perfect laugh line: "Take your time."
A hand-held camera showed Jackson's limo pulling up at the Ed just as musical guest singer Kelly Willis was ready to go on. Willis performed and an out-of-breath Jackson was sitting with Letterman at about 12:32 a.m. when the show came out of commercial. Jackson got a standing ovation from the studio audience, then Letterman turned to him and said, "I'm sorry, we're out of time."
Just kidding. The two paneled briefly but productively, after which Letterman managed to get Jackson to agree to appear on Thursday night's show. Then it was "good night," theme music and out.
--Harrison Wyman
Tonight Show version 4.0
To the best of my recollection I can recall three distinct prior incarnations of the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno" website. Now the latest and -- I'm afraid to admit -- the greatest version is out. No two ways about it, this site is beaut.
In contrast to David Letterman's enjoyable website, filled with offbeat fan-oriented features like "Rob Burnett's Questionquest Bonanzafest," there's a very practical side to the Tonight Show's online presence. There's info on getting tickets, watching the show in high-definition TV, as well as staples of earlier websites: previous jokes and upcoming guests. Also, if there was ever any doubt that Leno has completely co-opted Letterman's franchise on found comedy, it is erased by the portion of the site that allows readers to contact talent bookers in four, count 'em four, areas: "If you've seen a celebrity in an early performance they'd rather forget, click STAR SEARCH. If you know a youngster with an interesting talent, click KIDS STUFF. If you or someone you know has or does something just outrageous, click ODD BALLS. And if you're a kid with an amazing collection that you want to show off, click COOL COLLECTIONS." Got it.
Not that this website doesn't like to show off -- in fact, there's a virtual #D tour of Leno's Burbank studios on the site. But overall, and perhaps inevitably, the site seems more businesslike, more corporate, like "The Tonight Show" itself. Gone, apparently, is the rundown of last night's broadcast. Meanwhile, the chat page gets synergized with all the other NBC properties: CNBC, MSNBC, etc. Hey, I came here to see the company guy, not the company, all right?
Reader mail
Stephani Shelton writes, "I just want to thank
you for being one of the very few if not the only U.S. media
person to pay some attention to the disaster that the NATO
action has been for the independent media in Serbia. I am a
TV/radio reporter and producer who spent three weeks in
Serbia last fall. Three of us led a series of U.S.
Information Agency-sponsored seminars for independent
broadcast journalists in a number of Serbian cities. I have
really been upset at the total lack of interest our own
brethren have had in the fate of Radio B92 and the rest. I
have kept in touch by e-mail with others of our group who
live in Belgrade and who accurately predicted back in
October what would happen -- both to ANEM (the collection of
independent media organized by B92 chief Veran Matic) and to
Milosevic's opposition -- if NATO bombed. As you so
accurately pointed out, ANEM is all but dead now. Please do
a follow-up at some point when there is additional
information." Will do.
Todd Douglas, a right-thinking student at Texas A&M, writes,
"I'm outraged at those who refer to 'Late Late Show with
Craig Kilborn' as 'frat boy humor.' I'm a frat boy, and so
are all my pals, and judging from the first couple weeks of
this show, it's clear to us that the producers are aiming
ridiculously low. If you like non-stop racist and homophobic
humor, set-ups without punchlines, and a host who thinks
good looks compensate for a lack of talent, this show's for
you. But I'm guessing that the only person laughing at
Kilborn must be Conan O'Brien."
Aaron Mullins adds, "It occurred to me that Craig has become
the Jay Leno of ironic detachment. Which begs the question:
What would happen if instead of wanting everyone to like
him, Jay Leno were a complete jerk -- but kept telling the
same lame jokes? Well, his show would suck. The interviews
would be intolerable. The li'l comedy bits would be
strained. And of course, the set would be as over-stuffed as
the head of the host. Good grief, Tom Green does better
interviews! Jon Stewart isn't the best fit for 'The Daily
Show' but at least Stewart is a genuinely funny person
making the most of the mismatch."
To which Bill Cmelak adds this: "During a segment of 'The
Daily Show with Jon Stewart' last night, April 27th, they
aired a segment about a 'toad tunnel' in Davis, California
that was of questionable importance to that community. I
know that I saw the exact same segment last year and most
likely on 'The Daily.' I'm wondering why this segment was
rebroadcast, especially since there was no mention of it
being a repeat." Actually, it happens with surprising
regularity -- old material repurposed as though ripped from
today's papers. Kinda like how Gilbert Gottfried and Rhonda
Shear used to put fresh wraps on the smelly old fish that
constituted USA's late-night movie lineup.
Michele Lellouche finds my defense of "Homicide: Life in the
Street" touching. She writes,
"I'm not sure NBC can ruin a show that is already a shadow
of what it once was. Now, if the suits' decision is to send
Ballard, Gharty, and especially Falsone to a grisly end
(preferably to face the BadBabyAliens on 'The X-Files'),
then I'm all for it. 'Homicide' has been a disaster this
season and hands down the most disgusting scene I have
ever seen on TV (even beating the
Paris-pulls-out-his-tongue sequence on 'Star Trek:
Voyager'), was that peach-eating 'seduction' involving
Ballard and Falsone. On the other hand, if I could watch
just Bayliss, Munch, Lewis, Stivers, 'G' -- and I'd even
take Mike G. and Shepard -- I'd be happy again."
One of my regular correspondents read John Zipperer's
article on that episode of "Xena: Warrior Princess" that was
pulled by the show's distributor after Hindi groups
protested. The reader, whose identity I'll keep a secret,
writes, "While they've pulled that episode from
distribution, it isn't going to vanish from the hands of
fans. There is a copy of the satellite feed recorded onto
DVCAM video tape (digital video). I know -- I recorded it
for someone else. I won't say who, or where, other than it
is still on this planet. Even if they do re-cut the episode
to the liking of these religous fanatics, the original will
be making the rounds for years to come."
Dave DeLeersnyder knows why broadcast stations are losing
audience shares. "The annoying antics of local affiliates
have sent me reaching for the remote," he writes. "I am not
just talking about pre-empting network programs or the lack
of quality in local commercials. What about the contest to
see which station can cover more of the screen with severe
weather logos? Or what about the Fox station that flies its
logo across the screen, complete with sound effects, in the
middle of a program? (That station has had its stereo audio
channels reversed for months -- the logo goes left to right
while the sound goes right to left.) Why is 'NYPD Blue' in
stereo one week and in mono the next? Why were the recent
Academy Awards aired in mono until almost the very end, when
it magically changed to stereo? Home theater systems are
becoming pretty commonplace and people do notice details
like these."
About TV Barn | The TV Critic's Toolbox
Read Other TV Critics | Late Night Lineups | Kansas City TV/radio
TV Barn Archives |
Send us mail | The Kansas City Star
Copyright ©1999 Aaron Barnhart. Redistribution prohibited.
This page last updated 17-Jul-99 11:05 AM
>>> Aaron Barnhart's TVBARN.COM
About TV Barn
Overnight ratings
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The 1999-2000 season
The '99 upfronts
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Late Show News
Contact TV Barn
Articles for week of May 10, 1999
- Well, this should hasten the digital era nicely: BSkyB, Rupert Murdoch's satellite TV company in Great Britain, announced last week it will give away set-top boxes, at a cost of more than $500 million U.S., in order to entice consumers to make the switch to digital, Electronic Media reports in its May 10 issue. At least one competitor responded by saying it will do the same; both boxes have a value of about $325 U.S. Murdoch wants to switch off its analog service, currently in 3.5 million U.K. households, by the end of 2002. So far, only 500,000 have picked up digital, usually as an add-on to analog. (Those customers will get guaranteed low monthly fees in exchange for shelling out cash for their set-tops, BSkyB said.)
- The WB 100+ station group was the first broadcast outlet to buy "The Pretender" when it goes into off-network repeats in fall 2000. "The WB 100+ Station Group is a localized cable-delivered group affiliated with the WB Television Network and is exclusive to TV markets 100-210," says the Hollywood Reporter. TNT already has the cable rights. As with other one-hour shows, the cabler will air episodes weeknights while the local stations will air two episodes every weekend. Here's my earlier essay on the significance of "The Pretender's" success in syndication.
- The Cartoon Network launches its sixth original animated series, "I Am
Weasel" on June 10 at 8 p.m. as part of its "Cartoon, Cartoon Summer"
promotion.
-
When the very first "Star Trek" fan convention took place in 1972, not
everyone took this new movement seriously. Certainly not "Star Trek" lead
player William Shatner, who eventually lampooned Trekkies famously in an
old "Saturday Night Live" sketch. But then Shatner's acting career stalled
and new opportunities became more scarce. Captain Kirk began to seek out
friends where he could, and the Trekkies took him back in. Shatner started
attending conventions religiously and the result is a new book, Get a
Life!, written by Shatner and "Daily Show" head writer Chris Kreski.
Despite the title, which is taken from the "SNL" sketch, it is a thoroughly
affectionate treatment of the "Star Trek" phenomenon.
- Reader David Buckna writes, "In recent days I have compiled nearly 40
reviews regarding NBC's "Noah's Ark" miniseries, and it's interesting to
note that even the majority of secular TV critics gave it scathing reviews.
Entertainment Weekly's Ken Tucker said it best: 'Even Oscar winners Jon
Voight and James Coburn can't redeem NBC's Old Testament washout.'" For
those with a strong stomach, check out David's
website.
- NBC has asked for 13 more episodes of that "Amazing Videos" series. The
Hollywood Reporter says, "The reality series has improved NBC's performance
in adults 18-49 by 22 percent over the previous-season-to-date average in
the hours. In total viewers, the show is up 25 percent, averaging an
audience of 12.2 million" in its Wednesday 9 p.m. time slot. The Reporter
also says the production company behind "Amazing Videos" has been signed by
NBC to produce a revival of the 1950s series "You Asked for It."
- Who says the world of communications oversight is just one dreary
bureaucratic day after the next? Seems an intern at the Federal
Communications Commission wanted to supply a ribald laugh to some of her
friends around Washington, and forwarded them a copy of an extremely
profane joke (it involves nuns) that had been rattling around the Internet
a few days. Problem was, the intern unknowingly also forwarded the dirty
joke to 6,000 members of the press and public via the "FCC Daily
Digest" mailing list. After receiving a phone call from an aghast
recipient, the commission's director of public affairs sent out an abject
apology: "While accidental, the transmission was completely inappropriate
and inexcusable. Appropriate disciplinary actionis being taken. In the
meantime, we offer our profuse apologies to our Daily Digest subscribers."
But TV Barn learned that FCC chairman Bill Kennard had a good laugh over
the obvious mixup. Hey, it happens.
Goodbye, "Homicide"
Hope you enjoy tonight's and next week's episodes of "Homicide: Life on the Street," because they're the last ones you're gonna get.
With its Monday upfront presentation to advertisers approaching, NBC is leaking out details of its 1999-2000 season schedule, and one detail stands out -- "Homicide" is gone, replaced by some nitwitted hour show that's supposed to be a better fit for "Providence" on Fridays.
"Homicide" fans knew trouble was brewing when NBC executives began to complain in the press about the show's inability to achieve "Providence"-sized ratings since the pishy melodrama took to the airwaves in January. The Friday edition of "Dateline" had gotten a lift, but not "Homicide."
The next bad sign came last month when NBC commissioned an online Harris Poll to test viewer attitudes about the storylines and individual characters on "Homicide" (without, by the way, informing the show's producers, Barry Levinson and Tom Fontana). See my earlier story. At least one fan took the poll in stride -- here's her brilliant parody that imagines the Globe Theater polling its patrons about the quality of the Bard's plays.
Of course, we all laugh a little coarsely this morning now that we know it's strictly gallows humor.
Here according to NBC are the storylines for tonight's and next week's episodes:
Show Title: HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREET
Episode Title: THE WHY CHROMOSOME
Date: 1999-05-14 22:00:00
Original Air Date:
Press Listing: PLAYING ROUGH -- Despite the gender tension among the squad members, Sheppard (Michael Michele) and Ballard (Callie Thorne) team up to investigate the brutal death of a 14-year-old gang member, making them the first women in the unit to take a case without a male partner. Ironically, their search introduces them to 'tough' female gang members who are capable of more than the detectives would have imagined. As a favor to a friend of Billie Lou's (Ellen McDuff), Munch (Richard Belzer) pays a visit to an abusive ex-boyfriend who can't seem to control his temper. Giancarlo Esposito, Peter Gerety, Clark Johnson, Yaphet Kotto, Toni Lewis, Kyle Secor and Jon Seda also star.
Show Title: HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREET
Episode Title: FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES (Season Finale)
Date: 1999-05-21 22:00:00
Original Air Date:
Press Listing: SEASON FINALE BRINGS SOUL SEARCHING FOR BAYLISS -- Detectives Bayliss (Kyle Secor) and Sheppard's (Michael Michele) frustration is justified when their three trips to the courthouse result in the Internet murder suspect Luke Ryland's (guest star Benjamin Busch) possible release. Bayliss' emotions get the best of him as he foolishly unleashes his anger on State Attorney Ed Danvers (Zeljko Ivanek). His behavior sends him soul searching about his future, wishing that the guidance of his old partner Pembleton (Andre Braugher, not appearing) would come shining through. Lieutenant Giardello (Yaphet Kotto) reflects on his years as a Lieutenant as he prepares for a possible promotion. And Munch (Richard Belzer) and Billie Lou (Ellen McElduff) take a step in a more permanent direction as a couple.
Read the story
FULL COVERAGE: Check out this fansite
"Joan of Arc": TV event of the year
Leelee Sobieski as the self-styled Maid of Lorraine in CBS' miniseries "Joan of Arc," airing Sunday and Tuesday on CBS. (Photo: CBS/Alliance)
I didn't grow up Catholic, didn't know much about the legend of Joan of Arc until fairly recently. (My earliest remembrance of her, in fact, was from the theme song to "Maude." Remember? "Lady Godiva was a freedom rider/She didn't care if the whole world looked/Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her/She was a sister who really cooked.")
But I've grown fascinated with her remarkable story, and after previewing the CBS miniseries "Joan of Arc," Part 1 of which airs Sunday, I think others will be intrigued as well. I'm pleased to say that for once a network TV miniseries has approached its subject with more than a passing interest in historical veracity -- and a surprising respect (even for CBS) for the mysterious religious aura surrounding Joan. Who will ever know what voices were really talking to her? But this much we know: They really told her to unify the crown of France, and Joan really did, though perhaps more in death than in life.
Read my essay from Thursday's Kansas City Star on "Joan of Arc"
Visit the CBS "Joan of Arc" educators' website
In and out
We're getting a lot of anxious e-mails from fans of "bubble
shows" -- those TV series whose renewals for the 1999-2000 season are in
great doubt if not grave peril. They're all asking the same question: Is
my show in ... or out? So in an attempt to satisfy everyone's
curiosity, TV Barn has created the In And Out page and stocked it
with only the freshest renewal/cancellation news and select scuttlebutt on
all your favorite endangered series. It'll be updated constantly and there
will be a link on this page between now and the networks' fall schedule
announcements the week of May 17. Just added: HBO.
In and out
Last update: 13-May-99 2:25 PM
ABC
Renewal likely or announced
Boy Meets World, Drew Carey, Dharma & Greg, Hughleys, Monday Night Football, NYPD Blue, Practice, Sabrina, Spin City, SportsNight, Two Guys a Girl, Whose Line Anyway, Wonderful World of Disney
Cancelled or renewal unlikely
Cupid, Fantasy Island, Secret Lives of Men, Strange World, Two of a Kind
Future status unknown
America's Funniest Home Vids, Big Moment, Brother's Keeper, Dick Clark Bloopers, It's like you know, Norm Show, Vengeance Unlimited
Retiring more or less gracefully
Home Improvement
CBS
Renewal likely or announced
Becker, Candid Camera, Chicago Hope, Cosby, Everybody Loves Raymond, Kids Say, King of Queens, JAG, Martial Law, Nash Bridges, Touched by Angel, Walker
Cancelled or renewal unlikely
Buddy Faro, Maggie Winters, Magnificent Seven, To Have and To Hold
Future status unknown
Diagnosis Murder, Early Edition, LA Doctors, Payne, Promised Land, Sons of Thunder, Turks
Retiring more or less gracefully
The Nanny
NBC
Renewal likely or announced
ER, Frasier, Friends, Just Shoot Me, Law & Order, Pretender, Providence, Suddenly Susan, 3rd Rock, Will & Grace
Cancelled or renewal unlikely
Conrad Bloom, Encore! Encore!, Homicide, Trinity, Wind on Water, Working
Future status unknown
Caroline in the City, Everything's Relative, Jesse, NewsRadio, Profiler, Veronica's Closet
Retiring more or less gracefully
Mad About You
Fox
Renewal likely or announced
Ally McBeal, America's Most Wanted, Beverly Hills 90210, Cops, Family Guy, Futurama, King of the Hill, Party of Five, PJs, Simpsons, That 70's Show, X-Files
Cancelled or renewal unlikely
Brimstone, Costello, Getting Personal, Holding the Baby, Living in Captivity
Future status unknown
Guinness World Records, Millennium, World's Funniest, World's Wildest Police Videos
Retiring more or less gracefully
Melrose Place
UPN
Renewal likely or announced
Dilbert, Malcolm & Eddie, Moesha, 7 Days, Star Trek Voyager
Cancelled or renewal unlikely
DiResta, Family Rules, Guys Like Us, Legacy, Mercy Point, Reunited, Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer
Future status unknown
America's Greatest Pets, Between Brothers, Clueless, Home Movies, Love Boat, RedHanded, Sentinel
WB
Renewal likely or announced
Buffy, Charmed, Dawson's Creek, Felicity, For Your Love, Jamie Foxx, Steve Harvey, 7th Heaven, Zoe Duncan Jack Jane
Cancelled or renewal unlikely
Army Show, Hyperion Bay
Future status unknown
Rescue 77, Smart Guy, Wayans Bros.
Retiring more or less gracefully
Sister Sister, Unhappily Ever After
HBO
I wish every network did this! HBO has its own page to update fans on the status of returning series (meaning that if it ain't here, it ain't returning). Go to HBO's "Returning Champions" page
Calling all casts
Thanks to our pals at Backstage Pass, we're able to offer you still more casting sheets for upcoming production of the fine quality shows you've come to expect from network TV.
Among the new additions:
- Monticello: Based on the DNA-confirmed story of Thomas Jefferson and his dealings with a slave named Sally Hemings.
- Sopranos, Season 2: They need some new blood -- if you'll pardon this expression -- on HBO's buzz-creating series.
- Sunset Beach: Non-Caucasians need not apply for this new part (optimistically assigned to the standard 3-year deal).
The full directory of casting sheets
To these dish owners, big is beautiful
A proud C-band dish owner (not Clyde Taylor) shows off his hardware.
Clyde Taylor is my kind of satellite-dish owner. When I reached him the other day, he was in the midst of what he called one of his "wild hares" -- dubbing some of his old LP's onto a reel-to-reel tape deck. That would be a 10-inch reel-to-reel tape deck, the kind you used to find in recording studios. Mr. Taylor salvaged one a while back.
Given that introduction, you'll not be surprised to learn that Mr. Taylor does not own one of those late-model, pizza-pie-pan satellite dishes. Oh no. Mr. Taylor's dish is a 12-foot, Reagan-era, C-band supersaucer occupying the backyard of his Kansas City, Kan., home.
He bought the dish in 1985, just as the Kansas City Royals were making their run to a world championship. Rather than tune in the World Series on a local station, Mr. Taylor went straight to the network "wild feed," allowing him to watch the games without the commercials and even catch the occasional off-handed announcer's remark during the breaks.
Aside from a couple of network favorites like "Law & Order," Mr. Taylor spends most of his TV time watching the dish. He gets dozens of cable channels for free because their signals are unscrambled. Another 60 or so premium channels are unlocked by a subscription service. And often he just surfs the various satellites orbiting the Western Hemisphere until he finds something interesting to watch.
Mr. Taylor is in many ways typical of the nation's 1.8 million C-band satellite dish customers. He was disfranchised from local TV long ago, partly over signal quality, partly over program quality. He's a hobbyist who likes to tinker with "old tech." He likes the prices of C-Band (eight HBOs plus all those premium channels for less than $30 a month). Above all, he wants the most out of his TV viewing experience and will go to unusual lengths to have it.
On Saturday nights, Mr. Taylor has found he can point his dish to a certain transponder and watch the following week's batch of "Home Improvement" reruns when Disney downloads them to affiliates. Mr. Taylor also discovered a wild feed with the televised preachings of the Rev. Gene Scott, a California-based minister he likes because "he gives Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson hell."
Of course, not everyone has Mr. Taylor's sense of adventure or his appetite for what is the ultimate channel surf. There really are 500 channels in the C-band universe -- but to find them all requires hours of conditioning, learning to navigate from bird to bird with a remote-controlled apparatus that even ardent dishheads admit is clunky and confusing. There are dozens of satellites with 24 transponders apiece, and each of those with a certain directional that must be located more or less exactly, lest the picture be lost in a snowstorm.
Given such obstacles, and the service required on these aging mechanical hulks, even many C-band dish owners have begun to see the virtues of small-dish DBS. Since DirecTV went live in 1994, the ranks of big-dish owners have been been thinning out rapidly. Officially -- meaning those C-band homes with some subscription service -- their numbers fell below 2 million last year, making C-band only the fourth most popular pay-satellite system in the U.S. (The unofficial count is somewhat larger because many big-dish owners simply watch what's out there for free.)
Although small-dish makers don't need to poach on C-band's turf, and the satellite industry's trade organization even set up a special program to support big dish owners last November, many C-band enthusiasts believe the powers that be -- cable programmers -- are not sorry to see so many switch to DBS.
"We were always the black sheep," says Tom D., a veteran big-dish user in western Illinois. "They never wanted us. The commercial industry had been charging several hundred thousands dollars for dishes. It wasn't a consumer product. But then in the very early days, in '79, when we started putting up dishes, it was like ham operators and boat builders and all kinds of people got together and created a crazy industry out of pretty much nothing because they decided, 'Hey, these signals are available from the sky -- we want them.' So they started fiddling with converted old microwave equipment, radar dishes, all kinds of stuff."
Tom and his partner Darryl R. (who don't like giving out their last names) are bleeding-edge dishheads. They've even figured out how to broadcast their weekly radio show on C-band. (It involves a friendly uplinker and a spare audio channel.) They're also hams and have a website. If they're convinced the big dish has a future, it's probably with good reason.
Emigres new to America will usually find C-band offers far more channels from the home country than DBS. People in search of value will like C-band, provided they can clear the technical hurdles. Many former C-Band homes will give their big dish away to anyone willing to haul it off. And thanks to General Instrument's 4DTV device, you can continue to pull in wild feeds long after the industry has converted all its uplinks from analog to digital.
But more than anything else, having a great big steel spider web in your yard means you are someone who has had it with television as usual. You want to watch the CBC. You want BET Gospel. You want 16 Spanish-language channels instead of two. And you want to watch Dan Rather prattle on aimlessly during a commercial.
Comedian and actor Harry Shearer has a web page full of such classic wild-feed moments: Tom Brokaw taping a Sinatra death announcement months before the fact; Bill Gates caught swearing; Sam Donaldson and Diane Sawyer getting chemistry lessons from their producers; Mary Hart freaking out.
"I still love C-band," Shearer told me in a recent e-mail. "As I explain to my friends whenever they let me, it boils down to this: Little dish is buying retail, big dish is buying wholesale. How were you brought up?"
Reader mail
Rus Cooper-Dowda read last week's column by John Zipperer (posted to the
website Tuesday) and writes, "I strongly disagree that most sci-fi and
religion don't mix well. I have been teaching a course called 'Star Trek
Theology' for many years, both in the real world and on the net. If your
stance comes from Humanism, there is all sorts of religious/ethical stuff
to work with in sci-fi. The ongoing course has always been
intergenerational, too. That adds all sorts of perspectives to the mix."
Hm, "Star Trek theology" ...
Michael Jones read my recent item about NBC using an online viewers' survey
to test various elements of "Homicide: Life on the Street," asking if they
found various storylines or characters 'very entertaining,' 'somewhat
entertaining,' etc. He writes, "I'm sure a good portion of 'Gone with the
Wind' viewers were disappointed that the South ultimately lost the war. I'm
just grateful Margaret Mitchell didn't feel compelled to conduct a poll
prior to writing the script, possibly jeopardizing the movie's historical
authenticity. By the way, I found Ashley Wilke's character 'less than
enjoyable,' and wonder to this day why he received so much play in this
film. In spite of this needless role, I found the movie 'very
entertaining'--albeit lengthy."
Ed Bauman writes, "Why has no one written an article or commentary in any
entertainment publication about those annoying icons that litter the
corners of the screen on all channels these days except the movie channels?
What started out as a station ID (done between shows, thank you) has now
become a complete visual intrusion. What's next -- studio logos on screen
in theaters? Doesn't anyone else find these intrusive? They're so bad on
some channels that I simply skip all programming on them."
Jeffery To writes, "I watched Seth Green on with Jay Leno, and then later
flipped on Kilborn, and Green was on the same night (wearing the same
clothes)! Tonight, same thing, only with the Dixie Chicks. And maybe with
Suzanne Somers, only I remember her on 'PI' and then Kilborn. Maybe I've
watched that episode of 'Larry Sanders' one too many times, the one where
David Spade goes on Leno even though he's suppose to be on Larry's show the
next day (or something like that). Isn't there some Hollywood rule about
guests going on two shows on the same day? The least they could do was
change clothes."
When "Kids, don't watch that show about the
serial killer" isn't enough
By the time the average young viewer reaches the age of 18, s/he'll have
watched some 200,000 violent acts committed on TV. And, it seems, Mom and
Dad are pretty much powerless to stop it. That sense of helplessness, fed
by the out-of-control feelings still reverberating from Littleton, Colo.,
have renewed talk about holding the media responsible for its pimping of
violence -- especially TV, where the old Black Power saying about violence
being as American as apple pie is demonstrated daily.
TV executives continue to pooh-pooh the link between on-air violence and
any untoward social effects. But as I explain in this article appearing on
the front page of Monday's Kansas City Star, the correlation between
watching too much TV and aggressive behavior among kids is irrefutable.
(The leading researcher on these issues told me in an interview that the
link is as statistically strong as the one between cigarettes and lung
cancer.)
And everyone but the TV execs seems to know it. But will anything change
as a result? Read t
he story
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This page last updated 30-Oct-99 1:15 PM
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Articles for the week of May 17, 1999
- During the "Saturday Night Live" season finale this weekend, did you
catch that parody of MTV's "Blame Game"? Remember the part where the guy
contestant wins a round of "snaps" by announcing that his girlfriend smells
funny because she doesn't wash her private parts? Something strike you odd
about that? Allow me to refresh your memory. Five years ago, Martin
Lawrence's "SNL" monologue was edited by the time the broadcast reached the
West Coast. Lawrence apparently shocked the network's standards and
practices department by devoting much of his monologue to discussing ...
the way women smell funny when they don't wash their private parts. I wrote
about it here in
LATE SHOW NEWS.
- The Hollywood Reporter reports that "ABC News Nightline" will produce more summertime programs for prime time -- no surprise there. The more surprising news is that anchor Ted Koppel and executive producer Tom Bettag have reportedly informed the "Nightline" that Koppel is weighing leaving the show in 2000, when his contract expires and Koppel turns 60.
TV's big week
NEW YORK--A lot of folks think the most important month in TV is September, when viewers decide which new fall shows sink or swim. Not true. Every year between mid-April to mid-May, dozens of TV pilots are filmed, fiddled with, tested before audiences and voted on by program executives at the networks.
This week, those shows -- boiled down from hundreds of ideas pitched to the networks in the past year -- were announced in midtown Manhattan in lavish gala presentations made to network advertisers. TV Barn was there, and took notes.
Read The 1999 Upfronts: Barnhart's Notebook, the most complete, some might say meticulous, breakdown of the fall previews anywhere, by clicking here. (CBS and UPN upfronts will be posted later this weekend.)
Postcards from New York
Monday:
Take a stroll through midtown Manhattan these days, especially the area between 42nd and 49th streets west of Sixth Avenue, and you can't help but look up.
Midtown, as Kurt Andersen describes it in his electric new novel Turn of the Century, is "the Infotainment Zone," the 500 acres that "the big owner-operators of American culture" call home.
Once a frowsy district of peep shows and inexpensive diners, the Zone has become a continuous overhead mural of high-wattage signs, seven-story video screens and stores that offer thematic multimedia shopping "experiences."
If you watch any TV at all, you've seen the Zone's unofficial totem, One Times Square, with its NBC Astrovision jumbo-screen, the restored block-long news "zipper" and, overlooking it all, a giant Cup of Noodles from Nissin Foods (while I was there an Asian tour group took turns posing for pictures in front of it).
One block south, high above The Disney Store is a collage of signs promoting ABC's "Wonderful World of Disney," the new live-action "Tarzan" movie and Disney's GO Network -- the uncomplicated past, recycled present and hype-driven future of infotainment in a nutshell.
The eye wanders across the street to three bright billboards for "The Lion King" above the New Amsterdam Theater, home of the Broadway version of Disney's hit film. Here ABC will unveil its fall TV schedule later this week to its advertisers.
Ad agencies are reporting shortages of tickets to the event. You hear a lot about the declining appeal of network TV, but here in midtown Manhattan, where "The Lion King" is derided as strictly tourist fare, ABC's fall preview is a show these New Yorkers don't want to miss.
The NBC Fall 1999 Schedule:
Monday:
8:00 Suddenly Susan ... 8:30 Veronica's Closet
9:00 LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT
10:00 Dateline
Tuesday:
8:00 3rd Rock ... 8:30 THE MIKE O'MALLEY SHOW
9:00 Just Shoot Me ... 9:30 Will & Grace
10:00 Dateline
Wednesday:
8:00 Dateline
9:00 THE WEST WING
10:00 Law & Order
Thursday:
8:00 Friends ... 8:30 Jesse
9:00 Frasier ... 9:30 STARK RAVING MAD
10:00 ER
Friday:
8:00 Providence
9:00 Dateline
10:00 COLD FEET
Saturday:
8:00 FREAKS AND GEEKS
9:00 Pretender
10:00 Profiler
Sunday:
7:00 Dateline
8:00 THIRD WATCH
9:00 Movie
Tuesday:
Remember when David Letterman ruffled not a few feathers at the Peacock Network by referring to his NBC bosses as "pinheads" and "weasels"?
It seems the network chiefs have adjusted. Monday, as NBC presented its fall schedule to affiliates and advertisers, in a high-octane spectacular at Lincoln Center's Avery Fisher Hall, the network poked fun at itself continually, and not always kindly.
NBC has learned a lesson -- if not from Letterman then from Ronald Reagan -- that self-deprecating humor is a way to win friends and appear humble. Always a good thing when you're the No. 1 network in TV.
The highlight was late night's Conan O'Brien entertainingly rude monologue, which didn't poke so much as impale his employer.
Of his former boss Warren Littlefield, who exited NBC a few weeks ago. O'Brien joked, "He's now working on an off-Broadway production of 'Conrad Bloom' " (one of last season's Littlefield flops).
The new NBC slogan is "Let Us Entertain You," which, O'Brien noted, is better than last year's slogan, "Let Us Squander an Incredible Lead" (NBC's ratings are down).
And with the news that General Electric, NBC's owner, had ordered an edit of the miniseries "Atomic Train" to downplay the nuclear-catastrophe angle, O'Brien had his clincher. GE, he said, ordered yet another cut this morning. "Now the movie is about a stolen bicycle loaded with cheese."
Then O'Brien introduced one of his show's more foul-mouthed characters, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, who brought down the house with more NBC jokes, none of which I can print here (but see Barnhart's Notebook, below).
The advertisers roared at Triumph's act. NBC's brass did too.
The WB Fall 1999 Schedule
Monday:
8:00 7th Heaven
9:00 SAFE HARBOR
Tuesday:
8:00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
9:00 ANGEL
Wednesday:
8:00 Dawson's Creek
9:00 ROSWELL
Thursday:
8:00 POPULAR
9:00 Charmed
Friday:
8:00 Steve Harvey
8:30 For Your Love
9:00 THE DOWNTOWNERS
9:30 Jamie Foxx
The ABC Fall 1999 Schedule:
Monday:
8:00 20/20
9:00 Monday Night Football
Tuesday:
8:00 Spin City ... 8:30 It's like, you know ...
9:00 Dharma & Greg ... 9:30 SportsNight
10:00 NYPD Blue (Nov.)/ONCE AND AGAIN (Sep.-Oct.)
Wednesday:
8:00 Two Guys a Girl ... 8:30 The Norm Show
9:00 Drew Carey ... 9:30 OH GROW UP
10:00 20/20
Thursday:
8:00 Whose Line Is It ... 8:30 THEN CAME YOU
9:00 WASTELAND
10:00 20/20
Friday:
8:00 The Hughleys ... 8:30 Boy Meets World
9:00 Sabrina ... 9:30 ODD MAN OUT
10:00 20/20
Saturday:
8:00 Movie
Sunday:
7:00 Wonderful World of Disney
9:00 SNOOPS
10:00 The Practice
Wednesday:
The WB likes to call itself "the network of choice for those under 35." What it really means is that those under 35 are its viewers of choice, and that means this is my last year as one of the WB's preferred viewers.
Actually, judging from the network's fall lineup, that may not be such a bad thing. Aside from the new "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer" spinoff "Angel," I had trouble identifying with any of the shows the WB unveiled Tuesday.
Perhaps it's because I like to see a few black and Asian faces on TV (the WB cancelled three black comedies and the new series are all lily white).
Perhaps it's because one new show, "Jack & Jill," in which two gals fight over one guy like it's the most normal thing in the world, strikes me as the most chauvinistic premise since "Men Behaving Badly."
But most likely it's because I have no interest in reliving the kinds of teen and 20-something angst present in every WB show -- career angst, relationship angst, even UFO angst ("Roswell").
WB viewers (median age 27) are half the age of CBS's (53). Okay, so I'll never feel young watching CBS. But I won't feel old, either.
The CBS Fall 1999 Schedule:
Monday:
8:00 King of Queens ... 8:30 LADIES MAN
9:00 Raymond ... 9:30 Becker
10:00 FAMILY LAW
Tuesday:
8:00 JAG
9:00 60 Minutes II
10:00 JUDGING AMY
Wednesday:
8:00 Cosby ... 8:30 WORK WITH ME
9:00 Movie
Thursday:
8:00 Diagnosis Murder
9:00 Chicago Hope
10:00 48 Hours
Friday:
8:00 Kids Say ... 8:30 LOVE OR MONEY
9:00 NOW AND AGAIN
10:00 Nash Bridges
Saturday:
8:00 Early Edition
9:00 Martial Law
10:00 Walker Texas Ranger
Sunday:
7:00 60 Minutes
8:00 Touched by an Angel
9:00 Movie
The UPN Fall 1999 Schedule:
Monday:
8:00 Moesha ... 8:30 Mo'Nique
9:00 Grown Ups ... 9:30 Malcolm & Eddie
Tuesday:
8:00 Dilbert ... 8:30 Shasta McNasty
9:00 Secret Agent Man
Wednesday:
8:00 7 Days
9:00 Star Trek: Voyager
Thursday:
8:00 WWF Smackdown!
Friday:
8:00 Blockbuster Video's Shockwave Cinema
The Fox Fall 1999 Schedule:
Monday:
8:00 TIME OF YOUR LIFE
9:00 Ally McBeal
Tuesday:
8:00 ALLY ... 8:30 That 70's Show
9:00 Party of Five
Wednesday:
8:00 Beverly Hills 90210
9:00 GET REAL
Thursday:
8:00 MANCHESTER PREP
9:00 Family Guy ... 9:30 ACTION
Friday:
8:00 RYAN CAULFIELD
9:00 HARSH REALM
Saturday:
8:00 Cops ... 8:30 Cops
9:00 America's Most Wanted
Sunday:
7:00 MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE ... 7:30 King of the Hill
8:00 The Simpsons ... 8:30 Futurama
9:00 The X-Files
TV Barn was banned from the Fox upfront presentation, so the only info you'll get on their fall season is this unmediated, publicity-rich web page.
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Copyright ©1999 Aaron Barnhart. Redistribution prohibited.
This page last updated 17-Jul-99 11:06 AM
>>> Aaron Barnhart's TVBARN.COM
About TV Barn
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Contact TV Barn
Articles for the week of May 24, 1999
- So I'm on the phone with an executive at our ABC affiliate, which has local broadcast rights to "The Jerry Springer Show" when he says to me, "Have you noticed Jerry Springer this week?" Sure enough, Studios USA, "Springer's" distributor, has pulled the usual batch of new and repeat shows and has substituted some from the program's ancient history. Jerry has a slicked-back Jim Bakker 'do and his guests are sitting close to each other and aren't even quarreling with each other. What's the deal? That's what everyone wants to know. Is Barry Diller planning big changes at the Springer show? Or is the distributor just trying to put on the best face possible in the days leading up to the host's testimony before the Chicago City Council next week? Whatever the case, my source at the local station (which has been lobbying for the change for years and as recently as last week pulled a new "Springer" show because of objectionable content) says the complaint calls have dropped off noticeably this week, and that's a good thing. "This is a personnel-intensive program," he sighed.
- Our pal Amid Amidi of the site Animation Blast reports that NBC has ordered new teen-oriented interstitials from the creators of "Dr. Katz." The show, "Julia's P.O.V.," will air in 30-second installments during the network's weekend "TNBC" block. It will be drawn in Tom Snyder's SquiggleVision and will be based loosely on the life of Katz's 16-year-old daughter, who let her dad tape her phone conversations for background material. The 13 interstitials will air starting in July; if all goes well NBC may expand "Julia's P.O.V." into a prime-time sitcom. "Dr. Katz" won a Peabody Award last week (see item below). "Julia's P.O.V." will use a time-saving new version of Squigglevision in which the jiggly frames are generated based on a single cell; previously five different cells had to be drawn and meshed to create the economical effect.
- Rest easy, New York -- you're going to get "The Martin Short Show" after all. After hinting for weeks that the one-hour talk-show-to-be would go into production with or without a clearance in the Big Apple, CBS-owned station WCBS-TV has finally agreed to carry Short. By some strange coincidence, Short's distributor, King World Productions, was recently acquired by CBS. With the addition of NYC, King World says "The Martin Short Show" is cleared in more than 77 percent of the country, including the 10 largest television markets.
- Now here's a veritable definition of chutzpah: KARE-11, the NBC affiliate in the Twin Cities that puts out some of the darn finest news I've ever seen, issued a special PR bulletin announcing "'Tonight Show' Will Run Early on Wednesday, May 26th." Early? Minneapolis is going to get a special dispensation from NBC to run the Leno show early? How the heck did they pull that off? I mean, it's a Gannett-run station and all, they own USA TODAY ... ahhhhh, calm down. It's a ruse. KARE isn't airing the "Tonight Show" early, the station is airing it in pattern, at its god-given time of 10:35 p.m. -- for a change -- because that is the night when Leno's guest will be Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura. The press release reads, "KARE-TV viewers who rely on a nightly dose of 'Cheers' will have a brief delay this Wednesday night." Awww. But don't worry, KARE g.m. John Remes feels your pain. "We realize that 'Cheers' has a large and loyal following, but our view is that
Governor Ventura's appearance on national television deserves our attention," reads his quote in the PR. Actually, when you consider how many ABC and CBS affiliates delay their networks' late-night offerings, and how lockstep the NBC's are, it's nice to see a little nonconformance. (But "Cheers"? C'mon, they air that after "Roseanne" and "Grace Under Fire" repeats in my town.)
- With little fanfare, the 58th annual George Foster Peabody Awards were handed out last week for excellence in broadcasting. Seems to me these honors should be getting more coverage as time goes on, but the opposite appears to be true. Among the winners: NPR's Charlayne Hunter-Gault (her second), for reporting from Africa; Christiane Amanpour for foreign reporting; CBS's Carol Marin for documenting the story of a burn victim; Linda Ellerbee; Robert Halmi Sr.; Ken Burns, for "Frank Lloyd Wright"; and Comedy Central's "Dr. Katz." "The American Experience" won two Peabodys and two David E. Kelley shows, "The Practice" and "Ally McBeal," each won. Here's the full list of winners.
- Harrison Wyman writes, "It's a shame that NBC isn't promoting 'Later' this week. Monday's show is the start of a two-part Bob Costas interview with Bruce Springsteen. Springsteen tells the story about when he tried to visit Elvis Presley's Graceland mansion one night in 1975. No invitation, just caught a cab over and climbed over the wall. Elvis was not home and the security guards and guard dogs were not impressed with the fact that he was on the cover of Time and Newsweek the same week that year. The interview intercuts Springsteen discussing popular culture and music with footage of Springsteen performances. The interview was done a few months ago, recent enough to include Springsteen's reflections on being elected to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Costas will be doing 'Later' for the next month and Wednesday and Thursday's shows will be rebroadcasts of 1991 interviews with Paul McCartney and Paul Simon. Warm up the VCR."
- Reader Markley Morris writes that last Monday on the "Tonight Show," Jay Leno claimed wrestler Brett Hart had not responded to the challenge Leno had issued the week before. Problem: Leno made the claim after his show's web site had already posted Hart would be a guest this Monday the 24th.
Reader mail
David Thiel of WILL-TV in Champaign-Urbana writes, "I was a little surprised that in the inevitable scapegoating that went on following the Columbine massacre, TV violence would once again be brought up as one of the great ills of our society. And yet, I've heard neither a single citation of any TV show that the two gunman were alleged to have watched nor any indication that they showed any particular interest in television. When critics link school shootings to increasing TV violence, I wonder what shows they're talking about. Growing up, we had shows that were incredibly violent in comparison to today's offerings. I raced home from school to devour cartoons like 'Speed Racer' and 'Jonny Quest,' full of fiery car crashes and villains who were routinely gunned down by Our Heroes. In later years, I was addicted to shows like 'The A-Team,' in which hundreds of rounds of automatic fire were sprayed each episode without causing a single injury.
"The one area that appears to be completely off limits--with critics and broadcasters alike--is that of news broadcasts. Why is that? I spent most of the two weeks following the Columbine shootings in Hawaii, yet even in that remote paradise I saw hour after hour of coverage, packaged with slick graphics and catchy titles like 'Terror in the Rockies.' Every piece of evidence, every police report--no matter how insignificant--was given star billing in the nightly newscasts and the endless morning show and newsmagazine regurgitations. Scenes of fleeing students were looped again and again, while we were treated to interviews with everyone who might possibly have had any connection to the shooters, the victims and their families. Two kids, armed with a small cache of weapons and a twisted dream, were allowed to monopolize the airwaves of every major TV news outlet for more than a week. With all of the attention paid to this incident, is it any wonder that there have been so many recent reports of would-be copycats? There are an awful lot of people seeking their own fifteen minutes of fame. Unfortunately, it looks like we will continue tilting at windmills like 'Walker, Texas Ranger.'"
George Karibjanian writes, "Loved your piece on C-Band satellite dish owners. I've been a C-Band owner for about four years and television viewing has never been the same. Our favorite use of the dish is not just to view the syndicated programming wildfeeds, but the network programming wildfeeds. For example, we were able to see the season finale of 'The Practice' by setting the satellite and VCR to tape at 5:30 a.m. on Saturday morning and then viewing it at our leisure. Others in my family have DSS and price wise, it doesn't compare. To purchase the maximum programming on DirectTV and USSB, including the purchase of the West Coast network affiliates, costs about $85 or so, whereas the same programming (minus HBO Family and CourtTV and a few other basic cable channels that are digitally encrypted) costs about $190 every three months, or $63/month. One last thing -- like DSS, you need southwest exposure for the dish, but if your house faces the south or southwest, the big dish can be mounted on a pole right up against the back wall of the house so that the dish is raised to fit over the pitch of the roof and not take up any backyard space." Yes, but it makes your house look like an earth station.
Darren Raymond writes, "Thanks for your columns on 'Homicide.' On hearing the news of its cancellation, I can't say I feel much anger or contempt for NBC, not because they're entitled to run their business as they see fit (though of course they are), but because in some ways it seems the show's producers are willing to go gentle into that good night. One gets the sense that seven years of fighting for the show have taken their toll, and Fontana and Levinson have 'Oz' on HBO and an upcoming UPN series to attend to. The cancellation of 'Homicide' is truly the end of an era at NBC. The network that gave us 'Hill Street Blues' and 'St. Elsewhere' and 'Law & Order' and 'Homicide' is now looking to build its schedule around 'Providence.' Whatever they decide to show Friday nights, I know I won't be watching anymore."
Brad Romano writes, "Michael Moore was visiting 'Open Mike' last week to talk about his new show and dropped a HUGE compliment to host Mike Bullard. He said when he started the new show for Bravo that he sat his staff down and showed them a week's worth of episodes of 'Open Mike' because he wanted his show to be relaxed, and ironic. I can't remember his exact quote but it was something along the lines of American TV having no sense of irony and that the people that were trying it weren't really that funny. Mike B. was absolutely floored by the compliment." For those of you who have no idea what he's talking about, "Open Mike with Mike Bullard," originating from Toronto, is the freshest and funniest late-night show in North America -- and we can't get it in the U.S.
John Jacobs writes, "I'm one of those who loves 'Politically Incorrect' and I'm 51 years old. I've been a viewer since Comedy Central and I think the transition to ABC was pretty good. Now, however, they seem to be tinkering with things for no apparent reason. Used to be the announcer did the voice over with the lineup for the night and then introduced Maher. At the end of the monologue, Maher said, 'It's all been satirized for your protection.' During the applause, he moved to the seating part of the set and introduced the panel. Now Maher is introduced first and while he's walking out, guests are announced over the applause, which makes the walk and handclaps seem stagey and contrived. He no longer says it's all been satirized, either, which I always thought was a clever way to wrap up the monologue.
"Last summer I attended a taping of 'PI.' Maher came out before the show started and took questions from the audience. Some of that was pretty amusing. He made a crack in the monologue about something that had been said in the pre-show banter. Big laugh. My brother attended this Monday's taping. Maher didn't come out before the show. My brother asked an usher why not. The usher made a sarcastic remark. 'He's a star now ...' I really love the show and watch it almost every night. I hate to see them messing with it to no apparent advantage."
Arpegeis writes in, no doubt in response to something I wrote here (though I can't figure out what), but his comments on the evolution of "Star Trek: Voyager" are worth reading, context or no: "The original cast had three years to develop some sort of TV personality. They failed miserably. Okay, the writing was pretty atrocious too, but Jeri Ryan can act and of course, she's not unattractive. I've noticed that minus the three good episodes a year (and the five horrible ones), what's wrong with the rest is that the writing stops after 45 minutes. The ending is just slapped on or they just wander around the set until the credits roll. While I think the fault lies in the inconsistent writing (one week, Janeway cries over a girl and her lost puppy, the next week she doesn't bat an eye over losing 17 crewmembers), it's ultimately the acting and the personalities. Gene Roddenberry may have been bad at the day-to-day producing stuff but he was a damn genius with casting. After 30 years we're still interested in seeing the original cast and after 15 years we're still interested in the Next Generation. And after that ... a bunch of corporate focus-group mamby-pamby candy asses."
Michael Jones writes with a great idea no one thought of during pilot development season: "A show loosely based on the real life relationship of entertainment execs Michael Eisner and Jeffrey Katzenberg would make riveting television, and hopefully someday will make it into ABC's fall lineup. The show could have a meaty tone, such as the late 'Homicide,' but might work better as a benevolent, off-beat comedy along the lines of 'The Odd Couple.' This would be more fitting of Disney. The setting for the show could alternate between Michael and Jeffrey's luxury high-rise apartment and their corporate offices---with occasional visits to their attorneys. It would veer from the typical sitcom in that there would be very little dialogue, with most of the communication taking the form of e-mails. This would require viewers to remain especially attentive so as not to miss subtle jokes and plot twists. A riveting first episode might consist of Michael and Jeffrey attempting to identify which one of them is the apartment slob, leaving dirty laundry scattered about -- and who made off with Jeffrey's prized coin collection."
And reader Daribus wants me to plug this website of fans concerned that "The Crow: Stairway to Heaven" may be cancelled.
The new fall season in Haiku
Why plow through page after page of practically unreadable PR descriptions of the new 1999-2000 season TV shows when they are reduced to 5-7-5 verse by our own Tom Heald? Read the haiku
From FCC's bad boy to Citizen Nick
Nicholas Johnson
Nick Johnson is not your typical Iowa City, Iowa, school board member.
It's doubtful any of his colleagues on the board were ever denounced by
Spiro Agnew, or had Bob Dole call for their resignation, or saw their face
on the cover of Rolling Stone.
A quarter century after his tumultuous tenure on the FCC ended, Mr.
Johnson is stirring the pot again, not only serving on the local school
board but writing newspaper columns that routinely infuriate other
officials in the school district.
"Here I am on the school board, getting myself into trouble again,"
Mr. Johnson says, with a lick of mischief in his voice. In truth, say both
his admirers and critics, he can't help himself. Since being appointed the
nation's maritime administration by Lyndon Johnson at the age of 29,
Nicholas Johnson has not been shy about his opinions. Even today, as a
visiting professor of law at the University of Iowa, he cannot resist the
urge to lecture, whether to media professionals in Georgia (the republic)
or educators in his home town.
When he was appointed to the FCC in 1966, Mr. Johnson was 32, the
youngest commissioner ever. His confirmation sailed through; Congress was
more interested in LBJ's pick as chairman, made the same time as Mr.
Johnson's selection. But in the seven acrimonious years that followed, it
would be the FCC's enfant terrible who captured the headlines. He
bickered with broadcasters and Ma Bell, dissented -- often scathingly --
with majority decisions, and accused his fellow commissioners of kowtowing
to "Big Television and Big Business." He took his battles to the op-ed
pages of the New York Times and other papers and wrote two incendiary books
while in office.
He ridiculed the FCC for going after radio stations that played songs
with drug lyrics while at the same time giving violent TV shows a free
ride. He encouraged viewers to challenge the license renewals of station
owners if their local news wasn't serving the community. And he urged
boycotts of commercial TV, which he once called "the foremost enemy of
intelligent consumerism." As one of his last acts, Mr. Johnson even
testified against the man named to succeed him, James H. Quello, calling
his appointment "abysmal and preposterous."
In a way, he was a product of his time. He wore his hair long. He
identified openly with the social causes of that era, notably Ralph Nader's
consumer movement. In 1972 Bantam published Test Pattern for
Living, which may rank as one of the strangest books ever written by
a sitting federal official. A true period piece, the book's even-numbered
pages featured quotes from such philosophers as Paul Goodman, Charles
Manson and Frank Zappa, while on the odd-numbered pages Mr. Johnson weighed
in on a mess of topics, from aerosol sprays to advertising, from the
quality of the American diet (poor) to the quality of TV news (worse).
He was only one man, and often cast the sole dissenting vote on agency
matters. In 1972, Judith Martin wrote in the Washington Post
that the broadcast industry largely dismissed Mr. Johnson as a "radical
young gadfly commissioner." But he probably poisoned a proposed megamerger
between ABC and ITT (small potatoes today but a big deal back then) with
his harsh 85-page dissent. He did push successfully for TV stations to air
anti-smoking ads. And he was the driving force behind the prime access
rule, which he thought would encourage alternative-minded TV producers,
rather than Paramount and the King brothers.
Yet one doesn't have to agree with his point of view to wish someone
like Mr. Johnson were on the FCC today. At a time when communications are
undergoing unprecedented changes -- technological, economic and in content
-- the level of public debate about these matters is appalling. Inside the
FCC, the sharpest voice seems to belong to Harold Furchtgott-Roth, an
enthusiast of continuing deregulation. There is no one on the commission to
provide counterpoint to Mr. Furchtgott-Roth, which is to say there is no
Nick Johnson.
Not long ago, I came across Mr. Johnson's massive website, a compilation of seemingly everything he has
written or has been written about him, with links to scores of articles
published since 1996 and a 333-page bibliography going back to the early
1950s.
I'm too young to recall Talk Back to Your TV Set -- which
Mr. Johnson published in 1970 and now makes available for free from his
website -- but I was amazed at how well the book holds up today. In it, Mr.
Johnson anticipated nearly every tectonic shift to come in the
telecommunications landscape. He predicted the ongoing consolidation of
media companies and the demise of fin-syn. He foresaw the transformation of
cable from a rural antenna service into a media giant that could dispense
dozens of channels and eventually support computer networks. (Alas, his
hope that cable "might be a vigorous and useful check on the big telephone
monopolies" turned out wishful.)
Predictions aside, the book contains a spirited discussion of the role
of mass media in the lives of ordinary Americans that is as fresh and
insightful today as when Mr. Johnson wrote it 30 years ago:
"I think it is fair to ask what these network executives are
doing. ... What right has television to tear down every night
what the American people are spending $50 to $60 billion a year
to build up every day through their school system? Giving the
people what they want? Nonsense."
I decided to call up Mr. Johnson, and in the course of two long phone
conversations we wandered all over the media map, though everything we
discussed seemed to be connected to everything else, much as it is on his
website.
As for the major policy issues he raised 30 years ago -- media
ownership, the lack of diversity in mass media, the industry's denial of
responsibility for media violence, the poverty of noncommercial programming
on American TV -- they are still with us. But Mr. Johnson is patient and an
optimist.
"I've had public health people tell me they can still see in tobacco
consumption, epidemeological statistics, the impact of those anti-smoking
spots 30 years ago," he says. "I think some of what has happened in
tobacco policy has clearly been an improvement."
"We do have a cumulative effect," says Mr. Johnson. "It was Thomas
Paine in Common Sense who said, `Words pile up and afterwards
men do things. First the words.' "
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This page last updated 17-Jul-99 11:07 AM
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Articles for the week of May 31, 1999
- Bravo removed a segment, "Teen Sniper School," from Sunday's broadcast of Michael Moore's "The Awful Truth" because, according to a letter Moore sent to his mailing list, the network felt it came too soon after the Columbine High massacre. Read Moore's letter
- CNN's coverage of the 10th anniversary of the Tiananmen Square massacre of pro-democracy demonstrators was jammed by the Chinese. "The situation is not unexpected, as this has happened in previous years surrounding the June 4 anniversary of Tiananmen," CNN said in a statement.
- Looks like that late-night news program from MacNeil-Lehrer is going to go ahead. So far about a dozen major PBS affiliates have agreed to carry the program, Robert MacNeil told the AP. He and Jim Lehrer spoke Wednesday night at Quinnipac College on receiving the Fred Friendly First Amendment award. Of the recent crisis at "Washington Week in Review," MacNeil warned, "By dumbing itself down, by whoring just for numbers, public television will lose not only its numbers but its soul."
- ABC now says it did nothing wrong in paying $16,000 for videotape to a friend of Columbine High shooter Dylan Klebold. But the network told the AP it will warn viewers on-air in the future when money of any sort changes hands. Critics say even if an interview is not being "paid for," it might as well be when a payment is made as quid pro quo of obtaining an interview.
- What's in a name change? That's what we're wondering after learning that ABC's Wednesday night edition of "20/20" was TV's highest-rated newsmagazine in reaching its target demo of adults 18-49 and 25-54. So then, why was ABC so quick to change its name from "PrimeTime Live" to "20/20"? You want the brand name people will recognize, right? You want to deliver young audiences to advertisers, right? Then why chain them to the Friday-night franchise better known for delivering geezers and stay-at-homes? Just asking.
The upfronts, live and in person
Many of you have written me (or told me in person) how much you enjoyed my daily entries from the 1999 upfront presentations. Now you can read the final accounting of the upfront process, a story that appeared in Thursday's Kansas City Star and on better wire services. All in all, it was one of the swiftest upfronts in memory, with a record $7 billion in ad inventory being committed in the week following the last of the presentations.
Read my story
Another swell sweep for cable
Triple H applies the sledgehammer move in yet another quality moment from the WWF, the No. 1 reason USA is No. 1 in cable. (Photo: WWF)
I chatted Tuesday with Tim Brooks, the senior vice president of research at USA Networks (owners of USA, Sci-Fi, and Home Shopping), one of my regular sources and one of the top numbers guys in television. He gives great background and even better sound bites; more importantly for me, he knows the history of television and can give current news items the context they often sorely deserve. (Brooks is co-author, with Earle Marsh, of The Complete Directory to Prime Time Network and Cable TV Shows 1946-Present.)
Brooks and I have talked in the past about when cable would break through an important psychological milestone: At what point in time would the average audience for cable exceed the average audience for broadcast, at all times of the day, all year 'round, even those weeks when the broadcast networks were rolling out their new fall shows? A year ago, Brooks was projecting it would happen by the end of the 1999-2000 season. But that was before cable went and had another stellar season (30 of the top 36 cable nets were either up or flat in audience compared with last May).
So this time around I asked Brooks if he thought he'd have to move up his projections. He wouldn't say for sure; darned numbers man that he is, he talked about having to wait until "second quarter" was over to "plug in the actuals." But he was obviously "encouraged" by the year the big cable networks had.
As for USA, cable's top-rated network, ratings were up 10 percent year-to-year, thanks to wrestling -- oops, I mean sports entertainment. And it was breathing heavy down UPN's neck all season. Brooks said USA delivered about 1.9 million homes on average, compared with UPN's 2 million. (Probably that won't happen again this season, in large part because UPN got wise and put wrestling on its schedule, too.)
I told Brooks about something that had struck me about the ratings in my own market, Kansas City. In the past year viewing levels have actually gone up, but the share of the audience watching broadcast channels is down. In other words, people are watching more TV because of cable. Brooks confirmed the trend ("Cable has clearly reversed the softening of viewing levels that were happening in the late 1970s"). So much for the idea that only broadcast networks create "appointment" television. People are clearly making dates with cable networks, and sometimes with individual shows, as in the case of the WWF, "South Park" and other programs.
And yet the networks put their all into the May sweep, or so it seemed. Lots of minis, movies and special episodes, including the series finales of "Home Improvement" and "Mad About You." To which Brooks joked: "Yeah, they're getting awfully good at ending shows; I'm not sure about launching them." (In fairness, USA's track record with new series isn't that great. And how dare they cancel "Duckman"!)
"I've always said the two things that could change that," said Brooks, referring to cable's steady rise, "are government regulation, although that doesn't seem likely right now, or if the broadcasters finally cut the Gordian knot of abandoning viewers in the summer (and putting on some original programs). But they seem more intent in taking money from their affiliates, which is fine for us."
Reader mail
Damone writes, "How refreshing to have Bob
Costas back at the helm of 'Later.' It harkens back to
my college days, when NBC's late-night quality extended
from 11:30 to 2:00: First the consummate talk show, then
the perfect anti-talk show, and finally, an intelligent
interview program that struck exactly the right note for
its time slot. To watch 'Later' now is to see how far
it has fallen: 'Tonight Show' cast-off comedy bits to
fill time, marginal NBC stars as guest and hosts so that
you have to flip a coin to guess which is which, and,
the ultimate, Rita Sever needing a co-host to fill the
14-odd minutes of air time. Although Costas has sadly
moved on to bigger and better things, is the idea of a
full half-hour of thoughtful give and take between an
interviewer and guest that foreign?"
Jeanne Nicole writes with one of those hilariously
pedantic letters that may actually be longer than my
original capsule review. "I was reading with interest
your review of the new Rand-bashing movie, 'The Passion
Of Ayn Rand.' Being an Objectivist, I noticed one small
error and one large one, which I should respectfully
like to point out. First, you said: 'Rand, the author of
such libertarian classics as The Fountainhead and Atlas
Shrugged...' You didn't call her this, but I want to
begin by saying that Ayn Rand was certainly *not* a
Libertarian with a capital L in any way, shape, or form!
In fact, she loathed that group. She denounced them
and their party because they stole some of her political
ideas and used them and her name to lure young minds
into their party, without giving her credit and while
ignoring the entire remainder of her philosophy. To call
her books 'libertarian' using the concept, rather than
the proper noun, is therefore misleading. Her philosophy
is much more than just politics! Politics is just one
branch of the five areas covered by philosophy, and one
which is dependent on and determined by the others. If
you want to call her works by a political term,
'capitalist' would be correct and not misleading.
"Second, you said: 'The movie is filled with smoky
discussions of Rand's "objectivist" system ...' Her
philosophy has a proper name: Objectivism, with a
capital O. Just as I would not dream of addressing you
as 'aaron barnhart,' so it is not correct or proper to
refer to her works as 'objectivism' with a small o
because the latter is a concept, not a proper noun. And
just as you are unique and individual, so is her work,
to which she gave that name."
John Schneider writes, "I think one would have to be a
fool to try to refute the evidence that entertainment
violence influences children towards violent behavior,
as you have pointed out. What I find disturbing is a
lack of responsibility of parents to acknowledge this
and place their children's welfare above their own
self-interest. I've lost count of the number of R rated
movies I've attended only to see several parents with
toddlers and grade schoolers in tow. I remember a
particularly bizarre moment when I was watching the
opening scene of 'Rising Sun,' where you get to see
someone have sex with a woman on a boardroom table,
after which she's strangled. My wife and I were sitting
behind a family with four kids ranging from about 3 to
9; we scanned the theater and found no fewer than 20
children well under the age of 10."
And after I quoted an executive who called "Dateline
Monday" the "unsung hero of the NBC schedule," Michael
Jones wrote, "If this show develops a good jingle, I
believe it will no longer be an unsung hero. The words
to this jingle should be aimed to lure 20-somethings to
the show, and yet carry a classic sound so as to retain
older viewers. A possibility (sung to Petula Clark's
'Downtown'): When you are lonely/And you don't have a
date/You can always watch/Date-line..."
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Read Other TV Critics | Late Night Lineups | Kansas City TV/radio
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Send us mail | The Kansas City Star
Copyright ©1999 Aaron Barnhart. Redistribution prohibited.
This page last updated 17-Jul-99 11:07 AM
>>> Aaron Barnhart's TVBARN.COM
About TV Barn
Overnight ratings
Read other TV critics
The 1999-2000 season
The '99 upfronts
KC TV/radio
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Casting calls
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Late-night TV
Late Show News
Contact TV Barn

Articles for the week of June 7, 1999
- If you live near Speedway, Ind., and like to gab, then take note: Tryouts for the Indianapolis "citizen panelist" on "Politically Incorrect" are happening this Friday, June 11, at WRTV, 1330 North Meridian Street. You must be at least 18 years old and able to travel to L.A. on Tuesday, June 22. Auditions start at 8:30 a.m. so get there early. (But you're asked not to show up before sunrise.)
- Ratings for "CBS Evening News" are down 17 percent from the year before, according to Nielsen Media Research. NBC was down 4 percent and ABC down 6 percent. The newscast's executive producer tells the AP, "We're not entirely sure why."
- Tony needs Rosie. That's the word after overnights from Sunday's telecast of the 1999 Tony Awards pulled in ratings 24 percent lower than last year, when Rosie O'Donnell hosted. Also the cast of "Ain't Nothin' But the Blues" is sore because their musical number was sliced from the CBS broadcast when it appeared the show would go over two hours.
- Scripps Howard Broadcasting, which owns six key ABC affiliates including WXYZ in Detroit and WEWS in Cleveland, agreed to pay the network $3 million to compensate ABC for violating the affiliate agreement by covering up network promotional spots with local spots. The compensation will be paid out in spots, not cash. (Read the full story.) This may strike most readers as real dry stuff, but it caused a real stink at the network and put serious stress on the relationship with Scripps (sources tell TV Barn). Of course, what irritates the network and what irritates the viewers are often two very different things. Take, for instance, the decision by Scripps' Kansas City station -- an NBC affiliate -- to pre-empt the much-promoted repeats of the "3rd Rock" and "Mad About You" finales so that it could show a movie Sunday night ...
- Former ABC entertainment honcho Ted Harbert will take the top job at Sony's Columbia TriStar TV, Broadcasting & Cable reports.
- Craig Kilborn will play a nurse on the June 18 episode of "The Bold and the Beautiful," TV Guide reports in its June 12 issue. Kilborn, who's been begging on his show for a "B&B" role, will play a male nurse attending to pregnant heroine Taylor Hayes, played by Hunter Tylo (whom some may recall was fired from "Melrose Place" for getting pregnant).
- Bravo asked Michael Moore to remove a four-minute segment, "Teen Sniper School," from Sunday's telecast of his show, "The Awful Truth," because the network felt it was too close in timing to the Columbine High School shootings. In a missive sent to subscribers of his fandom mailing list, Moore praised Bravo for its treatment of "The Awful Truth" but added that he disagreed with the network's judgment. "Satire is not supposed to be the kind of Comedy Lite you can find on every other channel. Satire assumes the audience has a brain. Good satire has you laughing so you don't start crying -- and, in the end, maybe it gets you thinking about just what the #@*& is going on in this strange world." Read Moore's full memo
- P.S. Last we checked, "Dateline" and the all-news channels were still going great guns on Columbine coverage.
- It's summertime, and as fans of ABC's overnight "World News Now" know, that means it's time for the show's annual Xtra-lo-Cost promotional event. This year "World News Now" is taking a "very special excursion" to ... New York City. Of course, the show is based in New York City, but let's try to move beyond that. "The tour will travel to five remote locations on the fabled island of Manhattan," promises a press release. Co-anchors JuJu Chang and Anderson Cooper will arrive at their destinations via MTA. (That's the bus, for you out-of-towners.) The tour "will focus on the efforts and influence of people who live and work while the rest of the world is sleeping," says the PR. It all starts 2 a.m. Monday on better ABC affiliates.
Under the big top
Next week, I'm attending the 1999 Cable Show in Chicago, the industry's big confab. Thousands of people representing the nation's cable networks, cable system operators, program providers and the ever-burgeoning global market will get together to show off their upcoming programs and hopefully make a few deals. It's the first floor show I've attended since NATPE in January of 1998. Here's my account of that visit, highlighted by the discovery of Portugal's answer to "The Honeymooners."
"This American Life," the TV show
"South Park" and "The Sopranos" have really changed the game. Now, cable networks and even a couple of broadcast webs are desperate to find the next daring critical and ratings hit and to sign it to a deal before their competitors do. That's what radioman Ira Glass has been finding out this week while pitching the TV version of his popular Public Radio International show, "This American Life."
Glass is publishing an account of his pitch sessions all week at the Slate magazine site. In Tuesday's installment, Glass and his partners in crime refine their message after his use of the word "pretty" almost ruins one pitch session. Read it ... Visit the "This American Life" website
(Thanks to reader Dan Pittman for pointing it out)
Tony Tony Tony
CBS kept it Short and sweet. (Photo: CBS)
CBS staged one of the better Tony ceremonies in recent memory. PBS, well, that's another story.
It would seem the producers of public TV's opening hour watched the Academy Awards and decided to emulate the worst of Oscar's habits, especially those endless clip segments showing how they do it behind the scenes. (Hint: If you're watching the first hour of a Tony Awards broadcast, you already know what directors, choereographers, and orchestrators do.)
As for CBS, what did the loss of Rosie O'Donnell mean? Aside from a precipitous drop in the ratings, not much, except for a predictable opening number on CBS, "There's No Business Like Show Business" instead of Rosie's previous "Parade of Divas." And after the evening's entire lineup of presenters appeared onstage, joining Bernadette Peters and Tom Wopat in the "Berlin" tune, Calista Flockhart was on hand to throw out the first award, perhaps to convince the men in the viewing audience that they were watching a World Series game on Fox.
The broadcast maintained a steady rhythm of musical numbers from the nominees and presentations, punctuated by several inspired hosting pairs. Past Tony winning tandems including "Mame's" Bea Arthur and Angela Lansbury were alternated with the modern duos such as Christian Slater and Scott Wolf, who've shared the same character in "Sideman."
The "no-host" awards show is a time-honored tradition -- Oscar did it for years in between the long hosting runs of Bob Hope and Johnny Carson -- and it would appear it has returned to fashion, as evidenced by the rotating hosts at the Tonys and the "hostless" Daytime Emmy Awards last months.
The Tonys are, and always will be, a niche program with low numbers.
But they remain the sole yearly look at "The Great White Way" most people
ever get. Each year CBS is rumored to gut it from its summer schedule. It'd
be a shame for these neon lights to dim. -- Tom Heald
Reader mail
Kenneth Lee writes, "Many of the shows on
TV are similar in content because they are written by
members of the Burditt family: George, Joyce, and sons.
George and Joyce were former writers for the American
Greeting Card company in Cleveland. They went to
California and George wrote for 'Laugh In' and several
other forgettable spin-offs before getting the head
writing job on 'Three's Company.' Joyce wrote the
semi-bio 'Cracker Factory' before taking up the new
family trade as a TV writer and churning out 'Murder, She
Wrote,' among others. Then followed that unbelievably
bad show written by son Jack, 'Just Shoot Me.'"
And Michael Jones, taking note of Connie Chung's recent
comment (in my Thursday story on the upfronts) that
maybe Nixon was right all along, writes, "In hindsight,
Nixon was right about a lot of things. The most obvious
ones that come to mind are that we would get out of
Vietnam 'with honor,' and that the burglary of the
Democratic National Committee headquarters was motivated
by national security interests. So it is refreshing that
media sentiment if finally shifting in his direction.
Who knows -- perhaps at some point there will even be a
TV series celebrating his persona. 'Everybody Loves
Richard' might be a good title. The show could be a
drama/comedy about a misperceived, ambitious politician
whose light-hearted/amiable side is only revealed within
the framework of close friends and family. A good
opening scene might be Richard inadvertently stepping on
the tail of Bernstein, the family dog, after he
retrieves the morning newspaper (Washington
Post), and then silencing the dog's yelps by
calling him an expletive-deleted 'bleeding Democrat' --
prompting hearty laughter from awakened family members."
Cable has local news singing the blues
Kansas City, the 33d-largest TV market, is probably a
lot like your market. Viewing habits here are strictly
conventional, though occasionally off the beaten track
(like "Today" show averaging a puny 8 share, thanks to a
weak NBC affiliate). Most of the market watches cable on
recently-upgraded systems with 70 or more channels to
choose from. And at certain appointed hours -- 5, 6 and
10 -- most TVs that are on are tuned to news.
So I feel obliged to tell you about a momentous change
in viewing patterns going on in Kansas City, because
it's probably happening where you live and work, too.
And it's happening quickly, more quickly than many would
have imagined.
Like any other journalist at the end of a sweeps period,
I get the 20-day Nielsen report faxed to me and look it
over for trends in local news. Usually I'll find one or
two newscasts have surged to champagne-popping heights,
while one or two have slumped, with the rest about where
they were a year ago.
But what grabbed my attention this time was the data
listed in the rightmost column -- the one marked
"Other." As anyone who has glanced an overnight report
knows, "Other" means cable. In fact, there's a theory
popular with broadcast executives that local stations
draw "appointment" viewers while cable attracts random
flippers. Seen this way, "Other" can also mean "none of
the above," viewers choosing not to choose.
In Kansas City, in the month of May, the "Other" column
had an emphatic message for every station manager in the
market: Kansas Citians -- and by extension viewers
everywhere -- are flipping like never before.
Ten o'clock is a case in point. A year ago, cable was
averaging a 24.6 rating/41 share opposite the late local
news for the 10-to-10:15 quarter-hour. In May, that
average soared to 31.0/49 share.
I followed the "Other" column up the page. Everywhere,
cable share was up dramatically. Last year at this time,
the shares were centered in the mid-40's for cable; now
they're in the low 50's. In prime time, the average for
cable in my town a year ago was a 45.4 share. Today it's
a 51.3 share -- up 13 percent in 12 months. In my market
cable's lead-out at 10 p.m. was a 50 share; just two
years ago that number was 39.
More alarming is that, in a town known for its
highly-rated newscasts, viewers are clearly starting to
lose the habit of switching over to local news. At 10
p.m., for instance, cable usually loses a few ratings
points back to broadcast. But the attrition last month
was only two-thirds what it was a year ago. And cable's
overall rating and share were higher in 1999 than in
1998, which in turn was higher than in 1997. During that
same time, the combined share for late news in my market
fell from 70 to 62.
It was once widely believed that channel proliferation
would hurt the big cable networks. Instead, it's hurting
the ones you'd expect to get hurt: local TV stations. In
May 30 of the 36 biggest cable networks were up or
steady in the ratings year-to-year, with warhorses like
USA, ESPN and Nickelodeon actually showing double-digit
gains in prime time.
In fact, the HUT levels (households using television) in
my market were up substantially year-to-year. Yet with
the exception of our CBS affiliate, local stations
didn't benefit. It was cable that drove the HUT levels
up, not just at 10 p.m. but all day long.
None of this bodes especially well for local news in any
market. Everywhere local newscasts are down across the
board: Tampa, Philly, Seattle, and probably your market,
too. And here's the kicker: Cable isn't just stealing
audience from local TV. It's repurposing the content of
local TV, re-using many of the ideas that used to be the
exclusive domain of local newscasts and building entire
programs or even whole channels out of them.
Lifetime, for example, counter-programs late local news
in much of the country with a newsmagazine, "New
Attitudes," that runs stories on travel, makeup, health,
consumer tips and working-woman concerns. In many cases
the stories are better researched and more stylishly
presented than similar segments on the local news.
And just wait until Discovery Health signs on in August.
Does anyone seriously doubt that Discovery will do every
story your local healthcare reporter has done in the
past year, more authoritatively and with higher
production values?
As cable expands its programming into more and more
niches, cable viewers find themselves with this choice:
Switch over to local news, get a few headlines you
already heard on CNN, Fox News or the Internet; watch a
couple of crime stories you'd just as soon read about
over breakfast; and catch the scores that have been
flashing on the ESPN2 ticker all night. Or switch over
at 10:17, catch the weather and switch back to cable. Or
do nothing.
News directors also have a choice to make: Throw out all
the satellite-fed ready-made packages and B-roll their
viewers have seen already, stop trying to be the
"newscast of record," wasting valuable minutes on
national and world news, dump the segments cable can do
(and do better) and instead put the "local" back into
local news, with more enterprise reporting, more
features, more investigative.
Or do nothing. After all, your market isn't my market.
And maybe the November sweep results will prove me
wrong.
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Articles for the week of June 14, 1999
- Okay, so "the food's the star" at Hardee's restaurants. That's what their new ad campaign says at least. But the real star is funnyman Norm Macdonald, who is the voice of Hardee's Star in its new TV-radio campaign. Hardee's Star combines the talking tent of Best Buy's Idea Box with the creepy pasted-on smile of Kool-Aid's erstwhile "Oh Yeah." And as the voice of this unholy hybrid, Norm gets to be ironic but stops far short of vicious, which is too bad. (Note to Norm: See if you can't line up 10-10-220 next.) Here's the Hardee's new ad campaign site and all the Norm news you need, and then some, at the terrific website "The Fake News."
- From the bate-your-breath-or-don't department: Heather Locklear is shopping around for a TV series to join this fall, says the Hollywood Reporter. A likely candidate is the Michael J. Fox sitcom, "Spin City." (To which Tom Heald notes: "What nobody else will remember is that Heather worked with 'Spin City's' Alan Ruck on a previous ABC sitcom, the 1990 TGIF 'Going Places' from Miller/Boyett, a Gen-X com before 'Friends'
made it cool.")
DIVX is dead! Long live DVD!
TV Barn reader Courtney Haden writes, "I was delighted to observe
the passing of the worst idea in the history of bad TV ideas: the DIVX
format. I know you've got cable to cover this week, but when you return
from Bigshouldersville, perhaps a rumination on the limits of the
cynicism of the disseminators of video would be interesting."
That the DIVX format was one retailer's attempt to impose a proprietary
standard on the entire video industry is made clear by the fact that the
chairman of Digital Video Express, LP, the company responsible for DIVX,
was also the chairman of Circuit City. "The majority of customers
purchasing DVD players in Circuit City stores have selected players that
include the Divx option," he said in a statement posted to the DIVX website. "Unfortunately, we have been
unable to obtain adequate support from studios and other retailers. Despite
the significant consumer enthusiasm, we cannot create a viable business
without support in these essential areas."
Nice try, Mr. Sour Grapes, but it was word of mouth -- not some conspiracy
of disinterest by other retailers -- that killed DIVX. Friends of mine
made it a crusade to warn others against falling for the DIVX pitch. Of
course, the fact that one retailer stood to gain the most from this
proprietary format's growth did not exactly endear DIVX to the rest of the
sales community. (And whatever possessed Circuit City to think it would
ever be otherwise?)
All of this is a triumph for DVD, a format that has been championed by
consumers and critics (most recently a huge piece on the cover of the
Washington Post Style section by Tom Shales).
Cable '99: Reports from the floor
This week, TV Barn will look a little more static than usual
-- but only on the surface. I'll be in Chicago attending the National Cable
Television Association confab, and I'll be filing Barnhart's
Notebook entries online every day. But I'm trying to keep things simple
while on the road, and so for the most part will update the ancillary
pages, not this home page. Same goes with our columnists: Skip to the static links below to read Greg's column on Monday,
Zippy's on Tuesday and Andy's ... well, Andy's will be there when it is
there, and as always it'll be worth the wait. And the Picks to Click will
be on another page this week, too.
Read Barnhart's Notebook from Cable '99
Putting a new face on Headline News
I know, the anticipation has been killing you, but yes, at long last, CNN
Headline News has gotten a facelift. But probably the more interesting news
is that Headline News, after quietly doing its job for 17 years, is now
kicking up some dust with an offbeat promotional campaign and a
tinkered-with news format aimed at younger viewers who like to channel
surf. In this story that appeared in Tuesday's Kansas City Star, I explain
the change.
Read the story
Paying for laughs, playing for keeps
Comedy Central is unveiling its new four-night-a-week block of original programming this week. It's the most ambitious in the network's history, and not just because it features out-there fare like "The Man Show," which celebrates such alleged Guy Traditions as farting, ogling scantily-clad women and pleasuring oneself in front of the family pet. It's also because Comedy Central is spending more money this season on original programs -- $100 million -- than at any time in its history. (I doubt it spent a tenth of that four years ago, when its roster of original shows numbered just three: "Dr. Katz," "MST3K" and "Politically Incorrect," which was heading to ABC.) And the network plans to spend even more next year.
But when you've got FX and dozens of other cable competitors breathing down your neck, and your former rocket of a show, "South Park," has returned to Earth, you've only got two choices: roll the dice or get out.
In this profile that appeared in Saturday's Kansas City Star, I visit the set of the "Upright Citizens Brigade" and take a look at Comedy Central's bold new season. Read the story
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Articles for the week of June 21, 1999
- There have been a couple of cast changes to the Thomas Jefferson-Sally Hemings hubba-hubba miniseries. Read them here.
- "Springer" for sale: Barry Diller's USA Studios will unload its controversial "Jerry Springer" talk show on the highest bidder, Broadcasting and Cable reports. MGM Domestic Television, Pearson Television, Unapix Entertainment are said to be vying for the rights. Bids are due Tuesday.
- Remember all that talk about former "View" post-adolescent Debbie Matenopoulos writing a tell-all book about her two years on the show? Nevermind! The June 26 issue of TV Guide reports Matenopoulos plans instead to write "an inspirational book is about making a mistake, then getting back on her feet," according to the AP.
- Broadcasting & Cable reports that Leo J. Hindery Jr., the head of AT&T Broadband and one of the cable industry's prime movers, is "burned out" and wants to leave AT&T. Hindery told a private investors' meeting last week that he was "tired" and that fighting the bureaucracy that bought the company he headed, TCI, last year, has worn him down. Hindery is credited with having "superhuman strength" but watching him at the cable show last week, I have to say the guy moved stiffly and did not exactly look like a picture of health.
- Great news for our friends up north: They're finally
getting "The Daily Show" in Canada. This fall "Politically
Incorrect," "The Daily" and Mike Bullard's "Open Mike" will
air in a two-hour block nightly at 9 on The Comedy Network.
- Heather Locklear, who was shopping for a sitcom to join, has decided on ABC's "Spin City." The 37-year-old ex-"Melrose Place" star plays Mayor Barry Bostwick's campaign manager.
- Florence Henderson will be a co-host of "Later Today," the post-"Today" morning show hosted by Jodi Applegate and beginning in September.
I stream, you stream, we'll all stream!
Call me a geek, call me slow to realize the obvious, but this cable modem of mine is way cool! More than that, it's helped me to see -- finally -- the next generation of video.
For the past four weeks I've been beta-testing Time Warner Cable's Road Runner service. By summer's end they hope to have several thousand of these babies in people's homes (there are 207,000 homes in Kansas City with upgraded cable). At $40 for the first account, $10 each additional, it's not cheap. But once you enter Fat Pipe City and start downloading 40-megabyte files in, like, two minutes, you'll realize it was worth every penny.
Last week the first commercial movie theater in the U.S. showed a film on digital disk -- no celluloid involved. Well, imagine watching TV on your desktop, delivered over the Net and large enough to fill a 15-inch display, without a wire or antenna. Yeah, people have talked about this for years. And at the big cable convention last week, video-on-demand was all anybody could talk about. Small wonder why. We've had audio-on-demand on the Net since 1995. But video has been harder. Even 56K modem connections can get slowed down, and seemingly spend more time buffering than playing.
But now, with throughputs routinely exceeding 100 kilobytes per second -- about 30 times what I averaged on my phone-line modem -- digitally-delivered TV is a complete possibility. Time Warner Cable is just one of several operators planning to fan out with cable modems in the next year. Soon millions and millions of ordinary consumers are going to have the means to watch video on demand from their desktops.
And what will they watch? Whatever they can.
Case in point. My wife mentioned how sorry she was she had missed the Franklin Pierce installment of C-SPAN's "American Presidents" series. No problem, I said, and downstairs we trundled to the basement, where we called up the "American Presidents" website, went to the Pierce page, and clicked on the "Watch" links. There it was: more than three hours of streaming video that passed, with hardly a burp, into our homes. Video on demand.
Where now from here? Technologically, compression techniques should continue to improve so that more video data can be transferred faster, allowing the picture size to expand and the number of frames per second to approach that eye-can't-tell range of 24 to 30. Content-wise, well, that's a good question. I would hope that every cable programmer with networks that aren't being widely distributed would consider simulcasting them on the Internet.
MTV2, aka M2, is available free of charge to anyone with a C-band satellite dish. Well, if they're so willing to share it with dishheads, they would certainly want cable modemheads to check it out too, right? Apparently not: MTV has thrown in its lot instead with Intel's proprietary Intercast technology. Intercast, which I saw demonstrated by our local PBS station, simulcasts a rich stream of data with a digital TV broadcast. Nice concept, but it assumes you receive the video signal already. Which in 98% of the country simply ain't true.
Of course, many cable channels that you can't get right now on analog cable will finally come available thanks to yet another service of your cable company: digital cable. Time Warner's Pegasus service, which will also be offered to the masses this year, will offer a score or more of barely-known channels like BET on Jazz, Ovation, Speedvision, Sundance and Game Show Network to much wider audiences. I hope, however, that cable programmers don't make the mistake of assuming digital cable is their long-run savior. Might not be. Might be the cable modem. It certainly is in our home.
DTV: Please stand by
Digital broadcast TV still has a long ways to go. Very few sets are being sold, very few stations have begun to broadcast in digital, and some broadcasters are grumbling that 2006 is too soon to expect 90 percent of the country to buy into digital. But those brave few with digital-ready TV sets are making the most of them, as I reported recently in the Kansas City Star.
Read the story
Reader mail
At the website this week I asked readers to
weigh in on the sudden demise of the DIVX format, which
was supposed to rival DVD, at least in the
home-video-rental market. John Schneider writes, "My
experience with DIVX is probably like most others --
standing around listening to a truckload of b.s. from
Circuit City DIVX hucksters while I'm pointing to
the non-DIVX player I wanted to buy. Just as in car
sales, the employees were obviously well-coached on how
to sell their product, wielding half-truths on poor
unsuspecting customers who came in wanting one thing and
walked away with something different. What worried me
most is that it seemed to be working -- whether or not
people believed in the DIVX concept or not, they would
buy the DIVX compatible player because it usually came
at about the same price. I can only imagine how much
pressure the greedy Circuit City executives were putting
on other retailers saying, 'See, we've sold umpteen
million of these DIVX players -- it's obvious our
customers really want this format.' The real truth is
that many of those customers were hedging their bets,
worried that if they didn't they would have a worthless
DVD-only player stacked in the closet on top of their
old Beta machine."
Dave Schleier writes, "I might be the only one on the
planet, but I have to be honest, I loved the DIVX
concept. I mean, to purchase the disc for $4.49, and
know that I could watch the film at any time, and not
have to return a tape to Blockbuster -- that was well
worth the 58 cents additional over the price of a
rental. I always thought that having to get in the car
to return a tape was a complete waste of time and
energy. Mind you, I own a number of DVDs, but for a
film that would be a one-time only disposal of two hours
of spare time, what better format than a disposable
disc? I for one will lament the passing of DIVX, and
will be picking up a few clearance discs ($1.99 at
Circuit City) as the DIVX discs will work until
6/30/01."
Aw, Dave, you're too nice a guy. In order to get heard
in this mad, mad world of ours, you have to yell and use
military analogies, like reader Stephen P. Osvath does
in this letter: "There is a war going on in corporate
America right now over the 'pay-per-use' model of
consumer products and the 'personal ownership' model of
consumer products. The resounding failure of DIVX is a
clear signal to corporate America that consumers prefer
to pay for products once and only once. In the case of
home video, the right to build your own home video
library was at stake. A dark future of 'rentals only'
could very clearly be seen on the horizon. Pay-per-use
is a 'slippery slope' that will not stop at DVD. If
DIVX was successful, it would have paved the way for
pay-per-use audio CDs, pay-per-use video games,
pay-per-use computer program usage, etc." Exhale ...
inhale ...
"Unlike VHS or DVD," continues Stephen, "DIVX was a
'pay-per-use' model at odds with the 'personal
ownership' model. When a VHS or DVD movie is released,
it can be rented or purchased. When a DIVX movie comes
out, it is often in lieu of a DVD release. If the DIVX
model was successful, not a single decent movie would
have ever again been available for purchase -- since the
studios had so much more to gain financially from the
DIVX format. This was already happening with Disney and
Fox, who were adopting a 'wait and see' attitude about
DVD vs. DIVX, and withholding their best releases from
DVD (often releasing them on DIVX first). June 16, 1999
was a day that will be long remembered as a triumph for
consumers, not a failure for Circuit City." Cue the
music ...
Gil Belles weighs in on this week's fancy on-screen
changes at CNN Headline News. He writes, "Each of the
four traditional segments has gradually shrunk. They've
thrown in a minute of weather (with 24 hour weather
channel right next door), cut 'Dollars and Sense' by
throwing in 'Top Stories,' reduced all segments with
blatant ads called 'Allergy Report,' 'Pollen Report,'
etc., all generic bland ads for pills and most
blatantly, they've stretched the 'Back in Two Minutes'
to 2:15, then 2:30, now three minutes. We all have
digital clocks on our TVs. How stupid do they think we
are? And lately -- this is a big turn off -- they put
loops in the can and repeat them instead of live
anchors. I've seen Chuck Roberts deliver the exact same
story back to back because the technician screwed up.
I've heard him promote a story in the next segment that
never appeared (different loop aired). I've seen his
face freeze, elongate, or go wacky when the tape slid in
the machine. It is so obvious when they play a stale
loop after the story has changed. And the automated
voice for a stock market report -- where did the
professional business reporters go? All of these spell
Dull, Boring, Insulting changes. The new sets and
graphics will not solve the problems."
Allyce King was not exactly impressed by my description
of Comedy Central's new programs last week.
"'Ambitious'? 'Out-there'? I'd describe such frat boy
fare as 'pointless' and 'nowhere.' How wise is it for
the networks to purposely alienate female viewers? Do
they think only men have money to spend? Why should
women support advertisers that don't know the difference
between crass and clever programming?"
Brad Harvey writes, "I am one of those folks that's
going to lose the DirecTV network feeds at the end of
the month and yes I could (and will) put up a rooftop
antenna, but my beef is not with losing the digital
quality so much as it is with the loss of both east and
west coast prime times. Why don't the broadcast networks
get a clue and replay the prime-time shows overnight? I
know that NBC airs old 'Tonight Shows' in the wee hours,
but the whole block of prime time programming could be
repeated from 2 to 5 a.m. at little cost to the nets and
with great benefits to the viewers. People who work
evenings would have something decent to watch when they
got home and would not be forced to make a decision
between two quality programs to record while they're
gone. If you watch a prime-time program and afterwards
wished you had recorded it, just do it overnight." The
networks are too late, Brad -- soon ReplayTV and TiVo
will be priced to sell and when they are, people will be
watching all the TV they want, when they want. And
they'll even be able to skip over the ads with the press
of a button.
Then there's this letter from Jeanita Ives: "I didn't
quite get the comment about Amway as an analogy to the
TV gathering. It seemed like a negative comment about a
debt free business that grosses over $6 billion a year
and is about to launch the largest e-commerce web site
on the net in Sept. When is the last time you checked on
what the company was doing? It is not just selling soap
now...You do know that Sears and Roebuck started with
watches, IBM with pots and pans and 7-11 with ice...so
we all change. Anyway, if you haven't heard about
Quixtar and would like to learn how it will work, call
us." Well, it's nice to see one thing hasn't changed
about Amway -- the unsettling zealousness of its sales
force.
'
Cable goes digital _ but will you want to change the channel?
In the next few months, millions of cable TV viewers across the country -- including most of the Kansas City market -- will finally begin to reap the firstfruits of a long-awaited harvest.
Last week, at its annual national convention, the cable industry threw itself a party (or ten) to celebrate the past year, the most successful in its history. In a report that appears in Tuesday's Kansas City Star, I look forward to the coming year and what it holds for viewers in my market. But if you're served by any of the leading cable operators -- Time Warner Cable, AT&T (formerly TCI), Comcast, Adelphia -- chances are good these changes are headed your way too, and soon.
Read the story
You call this "original" programming?
CHICAGO -- We've all heard that imitation is the
sincerest form of television. Yet if you were to ask any
cable programming executive what it takes to get an
MSO's attention these days, you'd be told it takes an
idea that's fresh. Original. Innovative.
So why, when I walked the floor of the national cable
show last week, did I see the same concepts cropping up
again and again?
Why, for example, is Fox doing a health channel? I
thought Discovery was doing that one. And why
WeatherPlus? Sure, it may be "the first totally new
cable weather channel in nearly 20 years," but there
hasn't been an outcry from my readers for more TV
weather coverage. (Mostly I hear their cries when one of
the four stations in our market with Doppler radar
unleashes a new set of promos.)
Earlier in the week I heard John Hendricks telling a
roomful of fellow muckety-mucks that he didn't think
analog was dead. A great new channel concept could still
make it onto analog, said Hendricks, but it would have
to be "something no one has thought of before."
Well, forget that. At a time when the cable industry is
going through the biggest technological change in its
history, with seemingly every other booth at Cable '99
hawking digital set-top this and IP telephony that, the
programming side is going in the other direction,
playing it safe, repurposing the same niches that have
been served by cable for years. The digital revolution
is creating a vast frontier of bandwidth, ripe for
homesteading. And what are the big cable programmers
doing? Roaring out in their 18-wheelers and throwing up
prefabricated homes.
For 15 years the cable world got by with one women's
channel. Now suddenly we've got three, including the
as-yet-unnamed car crash between Turner,
Time and Conde Nast. A press release
promises "the new service will further a sense of
community among women." If this is code for "no more
movies with titles like 'He Betrayed Me',"
then I'm all for it.
But I still don't get why ABC and Sony are both
launching 24-hour soap-opera networks. Sony says its new
soap net "will take advantage of the success of Game
Show Network." Careful, guys -- are you sure you want
to raise our hopes *that high*? And am I the
only one who sees a Comedy Central-like shotgun marriage
in their future?
And what few well-executed concepts there were -- like
Trio, which wants to bring some of my favorite Canadian
series south of the border -- seem destined to fight an
uphill battle against other undersubscribed channels
like Sundance and the born-again Odyssey.
And that's just on the network side. On the programming
side cable seems hopelessly cluttered with shows that
look and feel the same. Even The Nashville Network has a
"Biography" knockoff. The Food Network, eager to raise
its profile, just signed a deal with Martha Stewart, who
is not exactly lacking for exposure on TV.
And then there's this summer's weirdest case of
idea-copping involving "The Man Show," which began
airing on Comedy Central last week. The brainchild of
cable stars Jimmy Kimmel (who recently shared an Emmy
for best game show host on "Win Ben Stein's Money")
and Adam Carolla (MTV's "Loveline") and veteran talk
show producer Daniel Kellison, "The Man Show" presents
an "unapologetic" view of masculinity through comedy
bits.
Last year "The Man Show" was considered by ABC and,
although it didn't make the final cut, its pilot tape
apparently made the rounds in L.A., because there are
elements of it in two other new cable shows. One is
USA's "Happy Hour," starring the Zappa brothers
(although I'm still deciding whether "Happy Hour"
isn't just "Sabado Gigante" in English).
The other is FX's "The X Show," which has four male
hosts offering "stuff guys want to know about" in a
comedic format, just like "The Man Show." Adding
insult to injury, FX put the show on the air two weeks
before "The Man's Show's" debut -- and rented the
Hollywood Center Studios lot adjacent to the one where
"The Man Show" is taped.
"This goddam thing is in our *building*," says Kimmel.
"I mean, we have to cover up our idea boards and stuff
like that. You wouldn't believe what a rip it is."
Actually, it's not hard to believe at all, because we've
been down this road before. In fact, we're really not
that far from where we were four years ago with cable.
The difference is that instead of spending tens of
millions to acquire similar-looking product, networks
are now spending hundreds of millions to make
similar-looking "original" product. We're still
living on what Randall Rothenberg once called "The
Planet of the Apers" -- only the property values have
gone up.
Part of that, I realize, is branding strategy. It makes
a lot of sense to grow channels and make them all
resemble and complement each other. And I appreciate the
competitive pressures that are fueling the explosion of
networks. After all, if you don't have a suite of
channels ready to go up on the digital bird tomorrow,
someone else will be happy to take your place in line.
I just hope that, after all the consolidating and
upgrading and set-top-boxing is done, that cable
programmers can get back to the task of creating niche
and subniche ideas we really haven't seen before. And
just as important, promoting the good ideas already out
there -- BET on Jazz, Ovation and Independent Film
Channel to name three -- that languish in low-carriage
purgatory.
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Articles for the week of June 28, 1999
- I was wondering why Broadcasting & Cable did that career salute to John Conomikes, the longtime head of the Hearst-Argyle Television group. Conomikes announced Monday he's stepping down and handing the reins over to his No. 2, David Barrett. Conomikes joined a Hearst station in 1959 and saw the group through years of expansion and its merger in 1997 with the Argyle group. Hearst-Argyle is the largest independent owner of ABC stations and second-largest indie NBC group.
- Broadcasting & Cable also reports that "Diagnosis Murder" is getting a new executive producer. Earlier this year I spoke with one of the show's outgoing EP's who said series star Dick Van Dyke wasn't entirely pleased with the offbeat scripts he was being handed. Look for a return to those charming days of yesteryear (a la "Murder She Wrote") next season.
- Please note! "SCTV" reruns return to NBC's "Later"
beginning Monday.
- Brian Unger confirms that his and Lizz Winstead's pilot
for the Fox network is a firm go and will begin shooting
next month. The parody of network newsmagazines would
air in midseason. "We're very excited and enjoying the
optimism," says Unger.
- Sure sign that female athletes are still second-class citizens: ESPN2 seems to have brought only one half-working tape machine to Foxboro Stadium to cover the North Korea-USA match Sunday evening. Besides terrible direction -- cutting away at the wrong moment, time after time -- the faulty deck screwed up on several replays. Viewers were made to wait 10 minutes for another look at the header that made it 2-0 USA, and only then saw something shot from an inferior angle. "Soccer Made in Germany" had better replays. Whaddya bet they don't have this problem at the X Games?
- Sure sign that the end has come for "Mystery Science Theater 3000": they are selling portions of the "MST3K" set on eBay. Our e-mail correspondent writes, "Prices are sky high, but nice to look at." The set was struck early this month.
All we are saying...
...is give the V-chip a chance. That's what proponents are saying as the V-chip era formally begins today. July 1 was the deadline the FCC set for TV manufacturers to begin installing V-chips in half the new sets they make. They actually have till the end of the year to meet that deadline; by Sept. 1, 2000, every new TV sold in America will have the $3 part inside.
And then what? No one knows. Certainly the proponents of the V-chip -- besides Al Gore, that would include various non-profits such as the Center for Media Education -- aren't going to be able to spend millions to raise brand awareness, the way Intel (dwingggg! dah-dink-a-ding) does with its chips. My sense is that an educational campaign will be needed just to get parents to understand that (a) the "hardware" of the V-chip works with the "software" of the on-screen TV ratings like "TV-14" and that (b) the V-chip is not as tricky to program as the VCR.
Cable has indicated its support of the V-chip and TV ratings; in fact, HBO and Showtime have their own set of supplementary ratings that tell parents exactly what they can expect from any program (mild violence, graphic violence, brief nudity, strong sexual content, etc.). And many set-top boxes supplied by cable companies already have their own form of parental controls. So in many homes there will be a choice. Satellite-TV services also come with filters. In some cases, parental controls have been part of satellite and cable's marketing pitch.
No one has really seen the V-chip in action by large numbers of ordinary Americans; until we do we're not going to have much of an idea of its effectiveness. We know parents are concerned enough about what their kids see on TV; we don't know if that concern extends to putting a clamp on what for three generations has been our culture's unrestricted access to TV. In many quarters the V-chip is being treated like an alien invader (how would you like it if someone placed a chip just beneath your epidermis?). It is a hostile force until proven otherwise. But I'm with the sympathizers. Let's see how it flies before declaring it the bane of creative people everywhere. Let's see if it really does harsh the mellow of TV's pot-stirrers like Trey Parker and Matt Stone, whose "South Park" movie imagines the V-chip as a body-jolting form of behavior modification.
Actually, "South Park," which is largely watched in group settings and often in dorms, is probably immune from content-blocking technology. It's the mundane, unimaginative violence of USA Network and syndicated action programs that would be wiped away by the V-chip, to no one's regret. Were this to happen in 10 to 15 million households, industry experts tell me it would rock the economic assumptions underlying commercial TV. Widespread V-chip acceptance would almost certainly force the content kings to rethink the kind of shows they put on the air.
If that frightens you, it shouldn't, not any more than the notion of an industry beholden to a single national ratings service. After years of broadcasters telling government to loosen the reins and "let the market decide," the V-chip represents one way of taking that free-enterprise logic to the next level. And the V-chip itself must weather the test of the marketplace; for if parents fail to put it to use, it will be an invisible relic, a useless government-imposed solder that did nothing but give a certain presidential candidate something to talk about.
He's back! About time, too!
Yes, NBC has re-acquired the services of Marv Albert and the toupee of his choice. No, NBC has not admitted how ridiculous it was to burn its bridges with Albert after his conviction on a sex charge stemming from kinky sex between two formerly consenting adults. No, the network is not yet willing to admit it erred in giving Bob Costas the job as its lead play-by-play announcer on NBA games. Yes, NBC will change its mind and return Marv to his rightful place in the, uh, pecking order. But it probably won't come soon enough for many fans.
The news, announced Tuesday, came after reports that Fox was about to hire Albert for its NFL broadcasts. But his return to NBC comes with a catch: Marv won't be the No. 1 announcer for NBA games. He won't call next year's finals. Why? I have no idea. Is it because he lacks seniority? Since when was that a measure of a sportscaster? The Cubs have Chip Caray and he's, what, 19? Is it because NBC thinks its choice of finals announcer won't affect viewership, particularly in a less-than-thrilling championship round? Because if the network execs really think that, they should've taken the elevator down from their upper-level offices at 30 Rockefeller Plaza during this year's finals and listened to the fans on the street griping about Costas.
Let's face it. Whatever Marvelous did in his private life with his longtime partner-slash-antagonist, should not have resulted in a two-year exile from NBC. The situation, however sordid, was too messy for such unequivocal judgment as NBC passed. Albert's other employer, the MSG Network, rehired him months after he had handed in his resignation. Even NBC Sports chief Dick Ebersol was pining for Albert's return almost as soon as the network let him go.
So why now drag matters out further? Why make Marv No. 2 when everybody knows -- and hell, Costas in his heart of hearts must know -- he should be No. 1? Everybody connected with this case has said repeatedly that it was an unfortunate situation and it was time to move on. But NBC's not moving on. It's instituting an arbitrary and unnecessary added punishment on Marv for a crime for which he's already done penance (if not actual jail time).
But maybe, just maybe, NBC is toying with us. Maybe we're seeing the Latrell Sprewell rehabilitation all over again. Sure. Now it's much clearer. You bring Marv back, have him come off the bench, call 15 regular-season games, have him do playoff duties. Then, aha! NBC notices its ratings are headed for yet another low, breaking the record held by the scintillating '75 Warriors-Bullets final. Quick! Who can come out of nowhere and bring the fans back? Who can be the marquee attraction, the man who -- for one shining moment -- is almost as big as the game itself?
Can you say Yesss! And it counts!
Reader mail
Nicole Ellis was intrigued to learn about
the premise of Comedy Central's new game show "Vs." She
writes, "I really enjoyed this premise when it first
appeared on the HA! Network in 1990 as the game show
'Clash.' Back then I got to watch vegetarians vs.
butchers or Deadheads vs. PTA members. I was also able
to enjoy one of the first anti-game show hosts, Billy
Kimball (now with 'Late Late Show'), who did not make a
great effort to be nice to the contestants and would
occasionally mock them. Thankfully, the questions on
'Clash' were more obscure than those currently appearing
on 'Vs.' Perhaps that is where these two shows differ?"
Paul Murray writes, "Your article about the duplication
of cable channels has cleared up one thing: Instead of
the much-predicted 500-channel television universe,
we're going to end up with five 100-channel universes
(five sets of what we have now, more or less). That
sounds about right for a media world dominated by six
conglomerates."
Steve
Byrd asks: "As great as Jay, Dave and Conan are, they seem to
treat the musical acts that appear on their shows rather
inconsistently.Ê They get to sing, sure, but oftentimes
they don't get interviewed.ÊI remember Dick Clark on
'American Bandstand.'Ê Though the acts that appeared on
his show lip-synched, at least they got interviewed by
Dick. With all the money the late-night shows waste on
the details involved in staging and rehearsing a musical
guest, only to not interview them, it would be cheaper
for those shows to air a pre-produced music
video.ÊMusical acts have something to say, too, you
know."
Tom Larkin writes, "In reference to the announcement of
Florence Henderson being tapped to co-host 'Later Today'
-- what year is it? And what's next? Gavin MacLeod
joining '60 Minutes II'?"
And Michael Jones writes, "Your articles are making me
painfully aware that the Jones' household is
technologically backward. I'm probably going to have to
schedule a family trip to a Third World country, or
Russia, in an attempt to restore our self-esteem. (P.S.
I'm getting my wife one of those push-button phones for
her birthday.)"
Back to his roots
A&E's Bill Kurtis has his dream job -- and in Kansas, his dream home
Bill Kurtis on his ranch near Sedan, Kan. (Photo: Kansas City Star/Talis Bergmanis)
CHICAGO -- Just a few years ago, Bill Kurtis seemed ready to do a slow fade from television. From his first job at WIBW in Topeka, where he spent one memorable night in 1966 covering a tornado, Kurtis had won respect for his no-nonsense style and fame for his screen presence and distinctive voice. In the 1980's he was one of CBS's best-known personalities.
But after 30 years, Kurtis knew it was time to move on. He scaled down his on-air duties. He started traveling more. And he devoted more time to a small business he was keeping on the side.
The business: making documentaries for cable.
Talk about great timing. Just as Kurtis's network career was winding down, cable TV was taking off. And fueling that rocket was original, nonfiction programming, the kind Kurtis would learn to crank out in volume.
Beginning with a single documentary he peddled to the A&E network 10 years ago, Kurtis has made himself the network's signature player in the genre. His production company now supplies A&E with 12-16 hours a year of documentaries. Kurtis also began narrating other producers' work for A&E.
From the blood-and-guts of "American Justice" to the UFO weirdness of "The Unexplained," Kurtis' sing-songy baritone can be heard night and day on A&E, and together both network and anchor have prospered.
At 9 p.m. tonight, when A&E relaunches its nightly documentary hour under a single title -- Kurtis's "Investigative Reports" -- it will complete an odyssey his peers at CBS once would have found unthinkable. The old-school broadcaster has emerged as one of cable's brand names.
Did he ever imagine it would turn out this way?
"I had no idea," he says with a laugh. "Either Kansas or cable."
Oh yes, Kansas. Although he is a native son of Independence in southeastern Kansas, Kurtis spent nearly all his adult life avoiding his home state. Then three years ago he bought a 7,000-acre ranch. It's become his No. 1 travel destination.
As they say on the news, we'll have that story in a few minutes.<
"Nice voice, but..."
Three floors down from the offices of Kurtis Productions, there resides a million-dollar "virtual set." On first sight it appears to be little more than one giant blue panel leaning against a blue floor. But a nearby TV monitor shows an entirely different picture.
Thanks to powerful Silicon Graphics computers, a realistic-looking facade is imposed behind and around Kurtis as he walks and talks around the set. There are hand railings, spinning kiosks and picture-in-picture video. Incredibly, they are kept in perfect perspective no matter how or where the camera moves.
"A totally synthetic view that can be photorealistic," as Mike Fayette, the president of Post Effects, which built the set, describes it.
Every year on this set -- one of a handful that exist in the Midwest -- Kurtis supplies "wraps" (beginnings and endings) to more than 120 new hours of A&E programming.
That's the sexy side of documentary work. Here's the other side: a 4-foot-square booth, lined top to bottom with eggshell foam, with a microphone and a 2-inch TV screen on a table.
In this stifling closet down the hall from his office, Kurtis logs four hours at a time reading narration. He calls it his "secret weapon," because he matches his audio to the finished video as it rolls on the screen.
While showing off the room, Kurtis can't help getting in a little dig at PBS, the network that treated him like just another producer.
"A lot of PBS documentaries, they have that disembodied feel to them," he says. "I mean, nice voice, but ..."
Yes, nice voice, but Kurtis didn't get into this line of work just because he had great pipes. He longed to be a documentary producer, a noble profession the networks used to support before news became a bottom-line-driven business.
Kurtis built his reputation in the 1970s and '80s at WBBM, the CBS-owned station in Chicago. In 1982, he landed a network job alongside Diane Sawyer at the "CBS Morning News" in New York. Three years later, with the show (then as now) still mired in third place and Sawyer long gone -- replaced by the laughable Phyllis George -- Kurtis returned to WBBM.
But local news would never be the same. His longtime co-anchor soon went to a rival station, and Kurtis spent his final years reading trashy tabloid news alongside younger talent he barely knew. P.J. Bednarski, the former TV critic at the Chicago Sun-Times, says, "It was like seeing a great baseball player on a very bad team."
In his contract, however, Kurtis had gotten CBS to agree to finance five episodes of a series he named "The New Explorers."
"I won't claim to be as pres-ci-ent as one might," says Kurtis in that familiar clipped diction he uses both on-camera and off. "I was following what I wanted to do. I didn't even know what I was doing -- how much it was going to cost. I think I did only two a year."
CBS still didn't know what to do with a documentary, but the local PBS station did. Soon Kurtis had moved "The New Explorers" over to public TV.
There, he says, "I felt like a salesman. I hadn't spent any time with a sales department or salesman in 25 years and suddenly I was pitching corporations 50 percent of the time at PBS."
"The New Explorers" was funded for seven years, but when two of his major sponsors abandoned him, PBS wasn't able to help Kurtis get the funding he needed.
By then, however, a third player was on the scene. Years ago, Kurtis had sold a special to A&E, a cable network better known for its puffy celebrity bios than for tough, topical news programs. Once it saw what Kurtis could do, the network bought more specials from him and in 1991 launched "Investigative Reports," his own A&E series.
"Bill's a lawyer, he's a great producer, he's been around the world, he's covered every type of story," says Michael Cascio, who has overseen Kurtis' work for A&E since 1990. "He's got a broad base of knowledge. That makes him a perfect anchor."
Just as important, Kurtis was a proven draw, attracting similar numbers of 25-to-54-year-old viewers as the network's flagship, "Biography."
So Kurtis brought "The New Explorers" to cable, the virtual set was built and A&E become the "Biography and Bill" network.
"Bill's not an overnight sensation for us," says Cascio. "This is a long-term plan for us. And it's a dream for Bill and for me to do a single-subject hour documentary every night."
Back to Kansas
There's another dream Kurtis has nurtured, but only for about four years. It materialized when he was back in Kansas visiting his parents.
"I was dutifully driving them around, and we were about 40 miles west of my hometown of Independence and I said, 'What's this?' " Informed that he was looking at the Flint Hills, Kurtis exclaimed, "This is like Africa!"
By coincidence, a cousin approached him with the idea of going in on a grass-fed cattle ranch in neighboring Chautauqua county, near Sedan. Suddenly smitten, Kurtis said yes. The two men now raise 300 head of cattle for the Tallgrass Prairie Producers Co-operative of Elmsdale, Kan., which sells their beef to natural food stores.
"Bill's been a wonderful asset for us," says Annie Wilson, the co-op's business manager, who says Kurtis has offered advice on breaking into urban markets (like Kansas City, where Tallgrass beef isn't yet available).
And now his zeal has spread to increasing tourism in southeastern Kansas. A couple of weeks ago, he had the Sedan Chamber of Commerce over to the ranch for a barbecue and to talk about luring more city folk to their area. He's trying to buy up the land surrounding the site of Laura Ingalls Wilder's "little house on the prairie."
"It's become a kind of spir-i-tu-al thing for me as I go back to the land," Kurtis says.
Hard to believe that Kurtis is only now going back to Kansas, which served him so well at the dawn of his broadcast career.
The legend is this: Kurtis worked at WIBW while putting himself through college at the University of Kansas and law school at Washburn University. One hot June afternoon in 1966, he was reading the 6 o'clock news when a bulletin was handed to him: High winds coming in from Manhattan. His news director had decamped for the weekend, so Kurtis stayed after the newscast as a precaution.
During the 7 p.m. station break, he went on the air to read a weather advisory.
As he did, recalls Kurtis, "the cameraman yells from off-camera, `Ed Rutherford' -- who is our other cameraman -- `is at Burnett's Mound, and there's a tornado.' Headed. For the city."
Kurtis stayed on the air. "The next bulletin that came 30 seconds later was: The Huntington apartments have just been wiped out."
The Huntington was on the southwest edge of Topeka and heading for the city center via the Washburn campus, where his wife and child were. Kurtis responded viscerally. He faced the camera and blurted out, "For God's sake, take cover!"
Kurtis stayed at his post for the next 24 hours while the station's reporters roamed the city, reporting damage. In those days, WIBW's closest competitors were 60 miles away in Kansas City, so it had the tornado to itself. And because the Stauffer family also owned WIBW radio, the TV's audio was simulcast throughout the state, connecting Kurtis to everyone affected by one of the most destructive storms in Kansas history.
Today, in a glass case behind the receptionist at the WIBW studios, you can still see the black-and-white photograph of Kurtis at the anchor desk in a white-sleeved shirt, young enough to pass for a teenager, with his famous expectoration printed in big letters next to his head.
"Everybody laughs at it now, but I say hell, it got the job done," says Kurtis.
In a way, Kurtis sees his move to cable as a return to the style of broadcasting he did in Topeka, a form of narrowcasting, really, except now to a national audience.
"It's almost like getting back to that local station for me, because all Ihave to do is serve my viewers," says Kurtis. And who wouldn't want to have A&E's viewers? "They're highly educated. They make a lot of money. They obviously like contemporary documentaries. They're waiting to hear from us."
Bill Kurtis smiles and adds, "So I've come full circle."
This story also appeared in Monday's Kansas City Star.
ALSO: Tallgrass Beef website
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Copyright ©1999 Aaron Barnhart. Redistribution prohibited.
This page last updated 17-Jul-99 11:01 AM
>>> Aaron Barnhart's TVBARN.COM

Articles for the week of July 5, 1999
- The Drudge Report reports that John Hockenberry has been cancelled again by MSNBC. His "Hockenberry" airs for the last time Thursday, according to the Chapeaued One.
- "48 Hours" did it again last Thursday, beating out an "ER" rerun to lead all
shows in viewers and households per Nielsen's national numbers, CBS reported
Tuesday. "48 Hours," which beat an "ER" rerun last month too, scored a 7.4
rating and 14 share to "ER's" 7.2/13 and ABC's 6.5/12.
- Now stop comparing us to "Seinfeld"! The Hollywood Reporter reports that comedian Carol Leifer will serve as a
co-executive producer on the comedy "It's like, you know..." next season. Jerry Seinfeld's longtime pal Leifer joins the show's creator, "Seinfeld" executive producer Peter Mellman, and former ABC Entertainment chief Ted Harbert as EP's on the show.
- NBC Cable is knocking off "Biography," not once but twice. Bob Costas has taped 60 episodes of "In Profile," a weekend series which will begin airing later this summer on CNBC, reports the New York Daily News. Meanwhile, the Hollywood Reporter reports that MSNBC is bringing online a nightly series, "Headliners & Legends With Matt Lauer" will air in prime time beginning September. No one's quite sure of the time slot the show will get, because CNBC is expected to shuffle some of its evening talk shows off to MSNBC and that is contingent on how late in the day the stock markets decide to extend their hours later this year (and whether CNBC wants to be on the air with financial coverage that late).
The next big idea:
Behind the Oscars
Because there should be more to Oscars coverage "behind the scenes" than that pitiful pre-show with Geena Davis (pictured).
Last fall, in a conversation with the late Gene Siskel, I pitched him an idea I thought would make for great TV: continuous live backstage coverage of the Academy Awards. He liked it and told me to send him an e-mail, which I did. After Gene died, I forgot all about it.
But then I read Kurt Andersen's new novel Turn of the Century and noticed Kurt had invented a cable network, E-squared, that basically extended my idea to a 24-hour-a-day channel. Coincidentally, Andersen and I both saw E! as the most logical source for such celebrity coverage.
And now I read in this morning's wires the report that a behind-the-scenes documentary was made at the Oscars ... and that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences has forbade it to be shown in the U.S.
The Academy is being needlessly paranoid. Showing what happens backstage at the Oscars is the best thing that could happen to that four-hour yawnfest. And frankly, after this year's horrible pre-show with Geena Davis, the Academy owes the American people a better behind-the-scenes look at the Oscars.
Here's how I envisioned such a program last year in my e-mail to Siskel:
You're watching the Oscarcast on ABC. Actually, you started by watching Joan and Melissa Rivers fawning over the celebrities and their fashions for two hours on E! before the ceremonies. What happens to E! once the cameras roll from Pasadena? It shifts into repeats that no one in the target audience is watching anyway. Surely the channel's two big shareholders, Disney and cable giant Comcast, would prefer a little more audience on a Sunday night.
Enter my great idea: using E! as a backchannel to capture some of the interesting (and not so interesting) activity backstage at the Oscars as it happens. The key here is to grab the younger viewers who are lukewarm about watching a 4-hour Oscarcast but might be enticed to tune in for a less formal brand extension.
The M.O. is that you work the runway, just like Joan and Melissa do, but this runway begins at the edge of backstage. The award winners come offstage and, after meeting with the deadline press, are intercepted by the host. If a presenter is willing, then grab her/him while the winner is talking to deadliners. Whatever. Go with the flow. Have some anytime guests on standby -- people like the caterer, stage manager, joke writers like Bruce Vilanch, who are happy to explain the process. Grafx could be kept on-screen all night teasing people with what's going on onstage and encouraging them to tune to ABC right now ("Jackie Chan giving acceptance speech after winning Best Actor").
It will get viewers who are bored with the telecast's length and self-importance back into the flow. They'll be punching that "Last Channel" button on their remote, toggling between E! and ABC. At the end of the night, I predict Disney will see it had a larger overall audience share. And any juicy sound bites grabbed off the E!-cast will be a windfall in p.r. for the Mouse, and for Oscar.
Remember, you read it here first.
Reader mail
Claudia Cauchon took exception with my editorial waxing NBC for not
giving the newly-rehired Marv Albert the No. 1 announcer's spot on its NBA
coverage: "When Marv Albert went on David Letterman
shortly after his plea bargain he really p---ed me off.
He came off as an arrogant b------. That's the
impression that appearance made on me and it hasn't
changed since, which is why I'm not surprised at NBC's
reluctance to hire him with his baggage. I used to enjoy
his appearances on Letterman. Now I won't even watch him
if he is on. But maybe I don't understand because I'm a
woman and I have a harder time to forgive him than a
man. I understand sometimes you have to separate the man
from the job but this is one time I can't."
Mark Jeffries saw the recent letter about the similarities between new Comedy Central game show "Vs." and old Ha! game show "Clash." He writes, "A few years ago, I ran into an actor who had been a contestant on 'Clash.' He told me that the teams
were not what they purported to be--that they just put contestants together
and gave them names. Of course, it's not rigging, since the game itself isn't
affected. I would more than assume that the teams on 'Vs.' are what they purport to
be. The show probably doesn't have a big enough costume budget to give the teams
the clothes and/or props that they wear or bring with them."
T Fagan is even wilder about cable modems
than I am. "Here in beautiful Akron, Ohio, I have had
Road Runner since its inception (over two years) and
have never once kvetched about the $40! The mere fact of
no phone involvement is enough for the priceÊ of
admission!"
But Tom Larkin is less sanguine. "I read with interest
your article on the cable companies offering digital
service and was surprised that you didn't bring up the
BellSouth Americast service that currently serves
Orlando as well as five or six other cities and is being
gradually rolled out across the nation. Americast uses a
small 9-inch receiver that receives the digital signal.
The receiver is not aimed at a satellite, but (in
Orlando's case) to Americast's transmitter downtown.
Unlike direct satellite we get no atmospheric
interference or signal loss because we are getting it
direct. The picture is perfect and we have 160
all-digital channels including the music offerings.
"I currently have a split household. Two sets are
Americast and the others still subscribe to Time Warner
Cable (for MSNBC and TV Land, two offerings not offered
by Americast because Time Warner has exclusivity on
them). I've been hearing about this digital rumor for a
couple of years now but still can't get a straight
answer from Time Warner as to what 'digital TV' from
them will actually be. I had numerous conversations with
a number of reps from Time Warner who could never give
me a straight answer on anything. Marketing did not
return calls. The last rep I spoke to explained to me
they would be offering digital tv by the end of the
summer. However, not *all* channels would be digital,
only some of the newer ones. This is a far cry from what
is being promised as this great digital revolution.
"Time Warner told me they don't consider BellSouth to be
a competitor, but an awful lot of the rooftops around
here are starting to remind me of when I was growing up
back in the sixties where antennas grew out of every
home. Time Warner is hiding quite a bit, being evasive
and keeping their cards real close to their vest
regarding all these latest revolutions. I'll believe it
when I hit the Power On button on my remote and see it."
Bob Claster writes, "In reply to your reader who
wondered why music acts get short shrift on talk shows,
the answer is simple.Ê Music is very polarizing.Ê No
matter what type of music it is, it's a safe bet that
half of the audience hates it.Ê This explains why Randy
Newman was relegated to the slot *after* the girl who just
graduated from the Citadel on Letterman a few weeks
ago. Most music acts are guaranteed to cause a major
portion of the audience to change the channel.ÊSad, but
true."
Matt Ackeret adds, "For quite a while when Jay started
out doing 'The Tonight Show' full time, he would
interview all of the musical guests (and they always
played two songs, if I remember correctly). I don't
mean to stereotype musical acts, but from that
experience, it seemed like a lot of them *didn't* have
anything to say. By the way, didn't Aaron talk about
this topic (wasting time with musical guests in the
chair) years ago in LATE SHOW NEWS?" I suppose I did,
Matt, but what Internet pub would be complete without a
frequently asked question?
I shoulda figured Don Giller would know the answer to
John Lavalie's question last week, whether the 90-minute
versions of the very early "Saturday Night Lives" would
ever air, since they didn't on Comedy Central. The
answer is yes, on "NBC All Night," the network's
overnight programming block that launched last year.
"SNL's" from 1978 and 1980 have aired and doubtless more
are planned, but no, we don't have a schedule yet ...
Only in Canada
Mike Bullard has the best TV show you can't watch
Recently I voted in the semi-annual Electronic Media critics' poll of the best TV shows of the year. But now I'd like to take a few moments to introduce you to another show -- one that didn't have a chance of making EM's list.
Mike Bullard
If you live in a market near the Canadian border -- say
Buffalo or Duluth -- then perhaps you've caught "Open
Mike with Mike Bullard." The rest of you, sad to say,
are missing out on the sharpest new late-night talk show
to come along in years.
NAFTA hasn't taken effect in the TV programming world.
So while every godforsaken U.S. sitcom makes its way
onto Canadian airwaves, we Yanks can only see "Open
Mike" if we have access to CTV or cable's The Comedy
Network. Both are Canadian networks with limited
carriage in the States.
It's our loss. "Open Mike," fronted by Mike Bullard, a
veteran standup comedian from Mississauga, Ont., is the
closest thing to live, unscripted, tightrope-walking TV
our generation has seen. As was true of "The Jack Paar
Show" and, to a lesser degree, David Letterman's show in
its prime, Bullard's "Open Mike" has a mystical ability
to pull comedy out of nothingness. It trades in the
unrehearsed and the unexpected.
In a tightly-wound post-Carson landscape, where all the
guests are coached and all the laugh lines are canned,
"Open Mike" stands out. It's low-budget, low-key,
high-yield TV from the old school.
And it has given the 42-year-old Bullard a midlife
ascendancy not unlike that of Paar (who was 39 when he
began doing the "Tonight Show"). A burly, unshaven comic
whose entire act consists of interrogating members of
his audience, Bullard is the uninvited guest who has
made himself the life of the late-night party.
"It's thrilling for me every night," says Bullard, who
just wrapped his second season of "Open Mike" and is
launching a month-long comedy tour in Halifax later this
week. "I mean, I'm not crazy about the scripted stuff,
but to go out and be able to impart topical stuff to
Canadians, that alone I think is what makes the show fly
for them."
"Open Mike" is already the biggest home-grown late-night
show in Canada's history and outdraws all the imported
talkers except Letterman.
"It's five jokes, a desk bit, and the rest is basically
what Orin and I can come up with," says Bullard. Orin
Isaacs is the leader of the show's funk-charged house
band that sounds like it descended from Paul Shaffer's
old ensemble at NBC.
Like Jimmy Brogan, the longtime writer for "The Tonight
Show with Jay Leno," Bullard has no act. He simply goes
out and starts chatting up his audience, riffing off
their responses. It's all he's ever done since he
started doing standup at the age of 30. (Bullard
continued to hold a full-time job as an executive at
Bell Canada his entire standup career. He quit just nine
weeks before "Open Mike" launched.)
"I had this woman in the audience once stand up and say,
'Is that all you do? Stand around and make up funny
stuff as you go along?'" says Bullard. "She had paid 10
dollars to see someone make up stuff. Only in Canada."
Bullard's sourpuss demeanor plays well among his
countrymen ("Canadians love crabby," he says). During
one "Open Mike" taping, Bullard was having a hard time
with a woman audience member, so he ordered her to
switch seats with another man a few rows back. They
complied, nervously, and as the man sat in the woman's
place, Bullard said to her boyfriend, "Now I want you to
make a new life with this man."
This exchange with TV star Michael Hogan (Canada's
answer to Dennis Franz) is typical of the repartee on
the show:
Hogan (entering): "You're one funny guy! My stomach's
sore, my cheeks are sore..."
Bullard: "Well, see your doctor. I'm not that funny."
Actress Carrie-Ann Moss clowns with Mike Bullard on "Open Mike." (Photo: CTV)
Bullard has also picked up a few fans south of the
border. Michael Moore considers him to be flat-out
brilliant. Moore played tapes of "Open Mike" for the
writers on his new show, "The Awful Truth," and recently
compared Bullard to Jonathan Swift and the Monty Python
players.
Even so, being a TV star has not made him rich. Were it
not for cable's secondary revenue stream, Bullard says
the show almost certainly would go broke. This despite
the fact that the production budget for a one-hour
broadcast of "Open Mike" is $27,500 Canadian, a third of
what a comparable show in the U.S. costs.
"I cannot figure out why a show like this, given the
ratings, doesn't make money," he says. "Only in Canada."
He has just three writers on staff, including Al Magee,
Bullard's boyhood pal and the show's co-creator. The
first season of "Open Mike" was done out of Wayne
Gretzky's sports bar in downtown Toronto, where Bullard
was known to have a brew with his audience before the
taping.
Bullard doesn't want to leave his native land, as his
brother Pat Bullard (late of "Love Connection") did. He
recently signed with William Morris' TV syndication arm.
Howard Lapides, the Bullards' Los Angeles-based manager,
says, "We're looking at a way to marry the Canadian show
to the United States."
And it may not stop there. Bullard recently learned that
every Tuesday night, a popular bar in Sweden has "Open
Mike" night and pipes in his show via satellite.
Japanese and Australian syndicators have expressed
interest. Foreign co-productions are becoming
commonplace, and one could ensure Bullard is doing a
talk show out of Toronto for years to come. Which is
exactly how he'd like it.
"The funny thing is, I never tell them this, but the
money's incidental to me," Bullard says. "I'm doing what
I've wanted to do all my life."
Dates for Mike Bullard's Canadian comedy tour
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This page last updated 13-Jul-99 6:33 AM
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Articles for week of July 12, 1999
Sunday: JFK Jr.'s plane missing
Past or present tense? How to eulogize the not-officially-dead -- that is the question being wrestled with by the nation's TV news organizations as they maintain vigil for John F. Kennedy Jr., his wife and sister-in-law as the Coast Guard continues its search for the single-engine plane in which they were last spotted taking off from New Jersey.
As usual, it's CNN that's showing the most restraint. And that's no accident. "DO NOT REFER TO JFK JR IN THE PAST TENSE," read an internal CNN memo dictated by its president Rick Kaplan. "THERE IS AN ACTIVE SEARCH ON FOR HIM HE IS MISSING. STOP EULOGIZING HIM. AND DO NOT TALK ABOUT A KENNEDY FAMILY CURSE." Yes, especially that; Caroline is still with us.
Still later, but a good half-day before the Coast Guard formally announced it was changing its search from one for survivors to one for wreckage, CNN staff received another urgent missive: "There are no deaths. DO NOT PUT ANY FONTS IN ANY FILE THAT SAY 'THE DEATH OF JOHN F. KENNEDY JR.'"
Weekend - Picks to click
All the president's slaves. There's really no way to get around it: Six of the first eight U.S. presidents owned slaves and many of the great white fathers who followed them acted in the interest of pro-slavery (and later pro-segregation) forces. But many viewers of C-SPAN's historic "American Presidents" series feel the presidential historians who appear on the programs are doing just that -- avoiding, dancing around and overly apologizing for their subject's race views. But you know what? The on-air clashes between scholars and callers have made this outstanding and unprecedented television series even more compelling. Read my story from Saturday's Kansas City Star
Read what other viewers are saying about "American Presidents" at the C-SPAN online forum
Attention New York viewers! On Sunday Ken Finkleman's brilliant satire "More Tears" is airing, all four episodes, beginning 9 p.m. on WNET, Channel 13. Here's my review from earlier this year. If you don't live in New York, you may want to check the listings of your local PBS affiliate carefully -- or hell, just call them up and ask them why a series that got four stars from Eric Mink isn't running in your town.
Groovy to the environment. TV is nothing if not a recycling machine. If a concept works -- say, half a dozen 20-somethings living in ridiculously upscale digs -- then count on it to be imitated and duplicated over and over. "GvsE" (short for "good versus evil"), which debuts 8 p.m. Sunday on USA Network, is one of the more ambitious klepto-series to come along in a while. This action hour features two wisecracking detectives (Clayton Rohner and former "Law & Order" D.A. Richard Brooks, pictured), both deceased but returned to Earth by the usual powers-that-be so they can fight the demonic baddies called "morlocks," who secretly have much of the human race in their thrall.
... From "The X-Files" you will recognize the American Typewriter screen font and the generally morose humor. The show's pacing and jarring tape edits are inspired by the current fad of producing TV that looks as retro as "The Mod Squad" supposedly did (though it's hard to say since no one really remembers). The morlocks look like rejects from the "Buffy" costume shop. And of course there's the endlessly ironic integrated chop-busting tag team concept popularized by "Men in Black" and "I Spy."
... But guess what -- it works! "GvsE" is the kind of show I wished "Brimstone" had been. That dead-guy-confronting-evil series aired last season, all too briefly, on Fox. "GvsE" is lighter on its feet, more playful and yet, in its own way, morally serious. We'll see if the joke wears thin after a few weeks. In the TV world, recycled products don't hold up as well as virgin.
There are reality shows ...
and then there are reality shows. Precious few in the genre compare with "Moment of Impact," which airs 8 p.m. Sunday on TNT. The premise couldn't be simpler: Tell the stories behind six Pulitzer Prize-winning photographs. But these are powerful stories. The hostage standoff gone awry just steps from the photographer. The racial incident at the football game. The POW come home. Each story is told with the aid of the picture-taker and others who were there at the moment the shutter closed.
... The most agonizing accounts are those in which the shooters must override their gut feelings of compassion and keep shooting the tragedy unfolding before them. But as Norman Maclean once observed, telling the story is in its own way a form of compassion. The production values are a notch above your usual Fox reality special, though there are some obvious (and annoying) scene re-creations. Sam Waterston narrates "Moment of Impact," salvaging a mediocre script.
Ewwwww.
Nickelodeon's newest cartoon, "SpongeBob SquarePants," will probably wig out a few parents who tune in and see the one where SpongeBob -- who is, as advertised, an animated sea sponge -- is deprived of water and dries up to a hideous skeleton. It may not be as violent as seeing Wile E. Coyote flattened by a truck, but no "Road Runner" cartoon ever grossed me out like this. That said, you have to hand it to Nickelodeon, which has a seemingly endless capacity for cheerful kid-friendly shows with goofy characters. "SpongeBob SquarePants" airs 10 a.m. Saturdays on Nickelodeon, which is celebrating its 20th year and is the top-rated network with kids under the age of 12.
Thursday
The color of money. Our pal Gail Shister of the Philadelphia Inquirer -- which, by the way, has the suckiest Web site in civilization, you'll never find her byline in it, I can't believe they're a sister paper -- made a few phone calls around Hollywood to see what TV producers there thought of the NAACP's proposed boycott of networks that don't cast enough blacks and minorities in their programs. Not surprisingly, they didn't like it. Actually, the response was carefully calibrated to register somewhere between indignation and indifference: The producers, writes Shister, agree "that there's a problem, but they also agree it's not right or smart for the NAACP to force minorities into shows just for the sake of having them there. Each thinks he can defend his own casting choices."
... Well, of course they can. So why am I still not convinced? Why is it that PBS and Nickelodeon and MTV can book representative numbers of Latino and black and even occasional American Indian actors and broadcast networks can't? And does this explain why the above networks are growing in audience while the big four continue to shrink? Read Gail's story (on our site)
Wednesday: Reader mail
Bullard the bully. Apparently it's true what they say about Canadians eating their young. No sooner does one commentator, namely me, say something nice about "Open Mike with Mike Bullard," the hot new Toronto-based talk show, than a flock of Canadians descend on the scene, honking about how the show has no right to be praised by anybody for any reason. And just why, you may ask? Because Mike Bullard is not a nice person.
This was news to me: not that Mike isn't a nice guy but that someone would actually consider being a nice guy a prerequisite of the job. Although I received three or four letters on the subject, Kevin Desjardins' is representative. Kevin writes, "Bullard can be mildly amusing on some nights, but his nightly 'off the cuff' monologue usually consists of him harrassing whatever audience members were brave (dumb) enough to sit up front, which, given the right set of circumstances, can be very funny. But more often than not, it's five long minutes of Mike trying for all he's worth to get a laugh out of picking on these poor saps. Some nights, it can be absolutely excruciating. Taking pot shots at a guy because he's from Sudbury is not exactly 'The Battle of the Books,' no matter what Michael Moore says. He's a typical work-a-day comedian in the sense that he knows just enough of what's going on in the world to make a punchline out of it. Mike will always get the last word, because he's the host...Mike gets his laugh, and then the boom mike is pulled away from audience sap before he can say anything in his own defense. Even Dave on his worst days isn't as mean-spirited as Mike."
It has that je ne sais quoi.
Paco Lebel adds, "Although I love the Mike Bullard show, I must respectfully
point out that it is not the most successful talk show in Canadian history.
That laurel would go the French talk-show 'Le Poing J' hosted by Julie Snyder.
She has about four to five times as many viewers in Quebec as Mike Bullard has in the whole country of Canada." I suspect nudity is involved ...
Forbidden "SNL."
Regarding our earlier discussion of the earliest "Saturday Night Lives," Tom Larkin writes, "The 90-minute telecast of 'SNL' that I really wish I could see
again is one of the two that Lorne Michaels vowed would never be replayed again
after their original airings. That would the the one hosted by Milton Berle when the cast still included Radner, Aykroyd, and Belushi. The other was the Andrew
Dice Clay-hosted episode which was much tamer than many of the others thar are
currently rebroadcast. But you can understand the controversy. The oddity
about wanting to see the Berle one again is that he did not jibe and
couldn't understand half the humor of the sketches and would wander from the
script. Michaels was so incensed that he's had it buried for over 25 years. They
have to show it again -- or do we have to wait until Uncle Miltie is headlining at
that great 'Texaco Star Theater' in the sky?"
... The irony is that later, Berle was hauled in to do "Nightline" after John Belushi died because no other celebrity could be booked. Berle's sole link to Belushi was this shameful "SNL" broadcast, which may explain why Berle asked Ted Koppel five minutes before air, "What the f--- am I doing on your show?"
"Friday Night" frights. Scott Saltzburg writes concerning "the continued existence of the biggest quandary of the programming week, 'Friday Night.' Now don't get me wrong -- as a connoisseur of bad entertainment, 'Friday Night' keeps me engrossed with the jaw-dropping inanity of host Rita Sever's 'comedy' every week. The sketches she performs are always blissfully free of wit, and her music video 'parodies' would make Weird Al kill himself just for the opportunity to turn over in his grave. Yup, it's great fun tuning in every week, telling myself it couldn't possibly get stupider -- then finding the new, uncharted depths the program can sink to.
"... Isn't Sever married to this guy who just happens to be the head of NBC late-night programming (Gary Considine)? And tell me, is anyone else on to the 'Friday Night' monstrosity, or do Gary, Rita and I share a dirty little secret?" Actually, I mentioned it a few months ago in LATE SHOW NEWS, but something tells me I'm going to be sorry I brought it up again ...
Hey, li'l buddy! Finally this week, reader Michael Jones took notice of the news item regarding the Michael Eisner-Jeffrey Katzenberg lawsuit. "The trial turned personal when Eisner was forced to admit he had once called Katzenberg a 'little midget,'" read the news item. Michael writes, "I suppose in the Magic Kingdom 'little midget' is not a derogatory term. I mean, the Seven Dwarfs are beloved Disney characters--so it's very possible
that Eisner was actually showing his affection for Katzenberg with the midget
reference. Maybe he could continue to compliment Mr. Katzenberg by
including his likeness in next 'It's a Small World' renovation. It could be
a final tribute to their 'long and fruitful relationship.'"
'As the World Turns' fans ... will want to see these three new cast members being added soon. ... Read the casting notice
Must sound like a horse, of course. Another interesting casting call passed our desk. This one was for an "untitled animated episodic" taping this week and next, and calls for "sound-alikes for Wilbur and Mr. Ed." As if that weren't curious enough, our pal and big-time animation guy Mark Evanier notes, "The thing is that Alan Young, who did Wilbur on the show, is alive and very active in the voice business. So how come they ain't using him?"
Tuesday
In living color.
You won't need a Trinitron this fall to view the new fall offerings from NBC, CBS, ABC or Fox. That's because nearly all 26 series debuting on the top four networks will feature lily-white casts. (The exceptions are the "Law & Order" spinoff on NBC and one CBS show that recently added a black cast member.) And that has the NAACP, which convened its 90th annual convention Monday, hopping mad. Its president Kweise Mfume called the fall schedule a "virtual whitewash" and announced an aggressive campaign by the NAACP to make sure it is the last time the networks exclude blacks and minorities from its program development plans. Here's my Page 1 story as it appears in Tuesday's Kansas City Star.
"Star Trek" geeks freak out. When news that one of two people brought on to helm the new "Star Trek" series was leaving, rumors flew online like trailers in a tornado. The resulting Internet free-for-all, writes TV Barn contributor John Zipperer, was dominated by "charges and countercharges that were at best ill-founded and at worst prurient and irresponsible." ... Read Zippy's column
Monday
Must-E! TV. For some reason, I'm unable to summon up the shock and bewilderment that Washington Post columnist Lisa de Moraes does in reporting on NBC's recent decision to accept advertisements from cable's E! channel. I find myself more in the mind of Claude Rains' character in "Casablanca" who is "shocked, shocked to find that gambling going on here!"
... Let's be adults about this. E! is owned by Disney and Comcast. Disney hands NBC money all the time, for spots promoting Disney, Touchstone and Miramax films. Comcast has shelled out lots of money to NBC as part of the retransmission agreement every cable operator must sign with every network. Part of that deal, by the way, involves Comcast agreeing to to carry NBC's cable networks CNBC and MSNBC. And lest we forget, NBC has been cross-promoting with TNT and TBS for years as part of the NBA rights package. (And who can forget those memorable words from Bob Costas: "Switch over to CNBC for a postgame report immediately following this telecast"?) ... AND THIS: Tom Heald adds, "And don't forget Steve Kmetko etc. were even providing capsule 'E!
News' briefs for 'NBC Nightside.'"
Less is more. I'm taking a page from my friend Jim Romenesko's Obscure Store and Mediagossip.com web sites and reducing much of the content on this front page to more easily digestible capsule-sized news-like items. The reason? It seems to make sense. There are often wire stories I'd like to comment on -- but the old format kind of militated against doing that. My regular contributors Greg Hall, Andy Ihnatko and John Zipperer were pushed down to the second section. And readers often missed items that ran lower in the page under "In other news..." This mini-redesign should resolve those problems and make TV Barn more freeform. That's good for me and, one hopes, good for my readers, too.
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This page last updated 19-Jul-99 7:07 PM
>>> Aaron Barnhart's TVBARN.COM
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Articles for week of July 19, 1999
Weekend
PI Jr. Friday's "Politically Incorrect" marks the first in a series of broadcasts in which the panels are made up entirely of teen celebrities and young "citizen panelists." Says host Bill Maher, "Everybody talks about how issues of the day affect young people, but nobody asks them. That's what we want to do. We've had so many panels about Littleton; let's have the kids on and let them talk about it themselves." Intriguing idea. The special "PI's" will air on five consecutive Fridays.
... Among the scheduled guests: musician Monica, actress Danielle Fishel ("Boy Meets World"), Guess model Kim Smith, musician Irish; the youngest mayor in the U.S., Jason Nastke, and citizens Colin Boeh (Portland) Tifany Rolland (Dallas) and Angela Martinez (Houston). I've always thought Maher a hopeless curmudgeon, so it will be interesting to see him trying to dialogue with the youth of America. ... If you miss the broadcast, remember "PI" has a transcript morgue.
Dumb jokes alert. Yesterday yours truly was a "celebrity moderator" on the Topfive.com site, an occasion that was apparently so memorable I forgot to plug it on the website yesterday. The topic was "Least Popular Fox Reality Shows," and Topfive owner Chris White sent me about three dozen possible entries from his contributors. These entries sucked, so I challenged readers of the weekly TV Barn e-mail update (see the FAQ for how to join that list) to come up with some better ones. They did.
... The results were published Thursday as the Top 5 list -- right next to 14 of the extra-lame submissions Chris sent to me and which, ostensibly at least, I had the prerogative of ditching if I so pleased. Judge for yourself whether this bit of diplomacy to the community of Topfive contributors was worth the trouble. (In fairness to all, this was not the easiest topic; you try coming up with fake titles that are funnier than the self-parodying ones Fox already uses.)
... At least one Topfive.com fan took the whole thing rather personally. Her name is Juliette and she writes, "you need to learn the meaning of the word 'guest.' just because you're a
comedy writer doesn't mean you're allowed to take over our list and
engulf it in very sucky submissions (i didn't even crack a smile). maybe
you should spend less time looking in the mirror and more time watching
REAL comedians say things that are actually funny."
All thumbs on board.
If you're a regular reader of David Poland's daily "Hot Button" column at TNT's Rough Cut site, you were perhaps surprised to read this item last week: "THUMBS NO MORE: Speaking of Roger, there will only be one thumb in town now that the folks at 'Siskel & Ebert' have decided where the show is headed after the millennium." Poland quotes an ABC publicist who told Time magazine, "In respect to Gene, we're not allowing other people to use the thumbs right now." But Poland's article implied that the change would be permanent, and when the show relaunches this fall as "Roger Ebert & The Movies," the one-thumb rule would remain in effect.
... That part is untrue, Ebert told TV Barn: "We put the thumbs on hold through the end of this final 'Siskel & Ebert' season, in respect to Gene. When 'Roger Ebert & the Movies' starts in the autumn, 'two thumbs up' will be back, and guest critics will be duly deputized."
Pick to click. The 1998 thriller "Cube" comes to the Sci-Fi Channel this weekend, and TV Barn contributor John Zipperer says it "disturbs with its overflow of character and amazes with its simplicity." ... Read Zippy's review
On this date...
in 1989, for the first time, Fox is
"America's Most Wanted" network, with an episode of John
Walsh's catch-the-crook show beating everything on ABC,
CBS, and NBC in the evening's ratings.
... Saturday, July 24: in 1994, "Chanel! Dior! Gaultier,
darling! Names, names, names!" says Edina to Patsy,
summing up their lives. It's broads behaving badly as
the pilot episode of "Absolutely Fabulous" airs.
... Sunday, July 25: in 1995, on "Late Night with Conan
O'Brien," host says to guest Cyndi Lauper, "You've done
something to your hair. What's that color called?"
Lauper replies, "Yellow."
-- Tom Heald
Thursday: THE EMMY NOMINATIONS
HBO's "Sex and the City" benefitted from the departures of "Seinfeld" and "Larry Sanders" from the comedy categories in Thursday's Emmy balloting. ABC's "Sports Night" did not. (Photo: HBO)
Yawn! Sure, it was heartwarming to see "The Sopranos" pick up all those Emmy nominations, including a historic best drama nod -- first ever for a cable show. And yes, it was gratifying to see "Everybody Loves Raymond" welcomed with open arms into the Emmy club, picking up nominations in all five of the major comedy categories (series, actor, actress, supporting actor and actress).
... But good lord! Could we have a little less imagination than in nominating Helen Hunt -- again -- for best comedy actress? Felicity Huffman ran circles around her. And not Christine Lahti again for best dramatic actress! Not Paul Reiser again! Not Dennis Franz again! And while I love "Law & Order," who in their right mind would vote to nominate Steven Hill for best supporting actor? He's the Dame Judi Dench of prime time! ... See the full list 1999 Emmy nominees
... Before the nominations were announced this morning, yours truly weighed in with a column that appeared in Thursday's Kansas City Star in which I argued that if the academy had any guts, they'd nominate "Sports Night," "Homicide: Life on the Street" and other worthy shows instead of these usual suspects. ... Read my Emmys column
WGBH mess spreads. Unfairly or not, other public TV stations that bought mailing lists from political groups are now being drawn into the current Capitol Hill fiasco concerning Boston station WGBH -- even though these other stations never swapped lists with politicos as WGBH did. One of the stations outed in this Boston Globe story is KCPT in Kansas City, whose general manager denies he's done anything wrong. Ironically, the stations are being spanked for doing what Congress told them to do five years ago: Go out and raise more money! ... Read my story that appeared in Thursday's Kansas City Star
Pick to click. NBC probably didn't intend to pay $13 million a week for a show that would lose its time period. But that seems to be the inevitable fate of "ER" (NBC, 10 p.m.), at least during the summer months. TV's top-rated dramatic series still pulls in a hefty audience for new episodes but has finished second at 10 p.m. to CBS' ``48 Hours'' twice in the last month. It also has competition from all-new episodes of ``Vanished'' (ABC, 9 p.m.), an ABC News series on missing persons. But don't feel too sorry for NBC, the onl
y one of the big four networks still making huge profits, thanks largely to this
Thursday night lineup. Tonight on ``ER,'' a patient is convinced she's a bird. On ``Vanished,'' the strange disappearance of atheist Madalyn Murray O'Hair. (NOTE: Continuing coverage of the death of JFK Jr. could screw up the newsmagazines' agendas.)
On this date...
in 1991, the victim of poor
timeslots, "China Beach" ends its tour of duty on ABC.
It's a flash forward with the series regulars meeting
for a reunion in 1988. McMurphy, married and the mother
of a toddler, recalls her final day in Vietnam to Karen,
who's bothered by the absence of her mother, K.C. Then
the vets decide to visit the Vietnam War Memorial in
Washington. On the way, McMurphy reflects on her war
experience: "I mattered. We all did."
-- Tom Heald
Wednesday: Reader mail
CNN no better.
Steve Rhodes doesn't dispute my claim that CNN was more cautious in its coverage of the JFK Jr. plane disappearance. But he notes, "They certainly joined in the saturation coverage. For several days CNN had been heavily promoting a story on a teenage Kosovar Albanian named Adona. This was on CNN's webpage: 'Through her e-mail correspondence with a Berkeley, California teenager, Adona brought home the conflict in Kosovo. Their messages were read on NPR, then reported on by CNN and others; even mentioned by President Clinton. CNN & TIME brings you the first interview with Adona and we learn her remarkable story of how she survived the conflict in Kosovo.'
"... But CNN decided the world needed yet another hour on JFK Jr. and devoted the whole program to him, 'America's Prince' (I thought we just had a holiday celebrating our rejection of monarchy). No mention of when the promo'ed story would run. Yes, the plane crash was a tragic story, but the networks never devoted that much continous air time to the war with Yugoslavia."
Perception "Vs." reality.
Perhaps only posterity cares about the matter raised by reader Mark Jeffries, but I got such an interesting response when I checked it out that I share it with you. Jeffries read the earlier reader mail about amazing similarities between Comedy Central's new game show "Vs." and "Clash," a game show that appeared on the old HA! channel. Mark writes, "A few years ago I ran into an actor who had been a contestant on 'Clash.' He told me that the teams were not what they purported to be--that they just put contestants together and gave them names. Of course, it's not rigging, since the game itself isn't affected."
... A serious charge indeed, so I went to someone who should know whether it was true or not: "Clash" producer Billy Kimball, now Craig Kilborn's executive producer at the "Late Late Show" on CBS. "Frankly, I'm at something of a loss about what to say about this," says Kimball. "I think it depended to some degree on what affiliation they were claiming. For instance, 'bosses vs. office wise guys' may have featured
people with some executive authority vs. a self-selected group of wise guys,
while 'smokers vs. non-smokers' (a much easier bill to fill) would have been
the real thing and, say, 'sky divers vs. scuba divers' would have people who
had been sky diving and scuba diving though not necessarily people who did it
every weekend. I remember several panels that proved impossible to fill
including 'women who've had breast enlargements vs. women who've had breast
reductions' (the latter category were not willing to come forward) and
'people who work at the U.N. vs. people who work at the International House
of Pancakes' (no IHOP in New York)." ... Since the demise of "Clash," the scene has apparently changed, for there are now IHOP's in the Bronx, Brooklyn, Staten Island and Flushing, Queens. ("Vs." producers, are you reading this?)
Uma, Oscar; Oscar, Uma.
Michael Jones, on whom I can always count to fine-tune my brilliant ideas, has some suggestions for a live backstage program that takes place during the Oscars: "This is Mike Bullard's forte; maybe this could be his big break in American television. Maybe he could not only interview some of the award winners/presenters/caterers etc. backstage, but run surprise sobriety checks on them as well. I would tune in for that. The very last interview on this backstage show should be with David Letterman--who could give a brief assessment on how well the Academy host performed."
... Doug Darrow adds, "Your idea is in fact a great one, and it brought back pleasant memories of Comedy Central's live coverage of the 1992 presidential race ('Indecision '92'), particularly the political conventions. Al Franken was the anchor, who would throw it to correspondents in the studio or on the convention floor (Penn Jillette badgering Alan Simpson, say), and Roy Blount Jr. was propped in a recliner in front of a bank of televisions watching the majors to alert us 'in case anything important actually happens.' Occasionally, they'd join the live feed in order to goof on the nominating and accepting speeches. This irreverent approach would
never fly with the Academy, but a little bit of spontaneity and edge would
get me to watch the Oscars again."
He likes Mike.
Daniel Drader takes exception with the recent carping in this space about Canadian host Mike Bullard's personality: "Mike Bullard is not only a funny guy, but he IS a nice person. I have worked as a P.A. on the show in both locations here in Toronto and he is one of the most polite people I have ever had the honor of working for.ÊNot only that, he knows the names of most of us 'grunts,' and the opening monologue is usually best when he's talking to the audience because it's not only funny but, unlike everything on Letterman, Leno and Conan, it's UNSCRIPTED! I can't even watch those shows anymore because it's obvious they are trying to look like it's unscripted, but it's painfully obvious that it is."
No "SNL" hell.
Mark Evanier sets the record straight on supposedly forbidden "Saturday Night Live" repeats: "Insofar as I can tell, there are none at present. The ones
hosted by Milton Berle and Louise Lasser were initially withheld from
the syndication package when the shows were first offered in hour
versions. But later, when the programs were reformatted into
30-minute episodes, the Berle and Lasser programs were quietly
folded in. I guess they figured they could extract at least a
half hour of acceptable material from each. No, the 90-minute versions of those are not available. But for all intents and purposes, neither are the full versions of any of the early shows. I've never heard of the Andrew Dice Clay episode being shunned or otherwise withheld. By one of those odd bits of coincidence we disbelieve when they occur in TV shows, the hour version is being rerun on Comedy Central just as I am writing this."
And that grubby beard, too!
Kathleen, a reader in Victoria, B.C., notes one omission in the NAACP's complaints against TV networks for not featuring enough black and minority actors. "What I find amazing is that 'Walker, Texas Ranger' has been on seven or eight years! (Six, actually.) If you need to point to one show that demeans minorities and women, I think that would be the one. Sure Walker's partner is African-American and his girlfriend is the top-dog lawyer -- but if they get into any problems, it's Walker that saves them every time! Then to make matters worse, he struts around for the rest of the show!"
UK Dave-free. Looks like British TV is about to lose the Letterman show. Last year the Paramount Comedy Channel, a satellite service, picked up the contract for "Late Show" after Sky1 dropped it last year. But recently it's been pushing the air time back back back to its current nightly start of 1:30 a.m. And now Paramount, in an e-mail received by reader Hi Lino, confirms the worst: "Our current contract for the letterman show expires at the end of July," reads the letter from Paramount's press office. "The scheduling department have seen fit to phase the show out allowing new shows to be tested in the old slot. The scheduling department have no plans at the moment to renew the licence."
Pick to click -- or lack thereof.
I'm sorry, but commemorating Papa Hemingway's 100th birthday is a whole helluva lot more important than watching the umpteenth dead Kennedys special this week. But try telling that to the gang at A&E, which yanked a repeat of the two-hour "Ernest Hemingway: Wrestling With Life," a darned good edition of "Biography" that was supposed to air tonight, on Hemingway's 100th, but was yanked this weekend so A&E could repackage six Kennedy bios into a theme week. No thanks. Well, at least we still have American Movie Classics, which at 5:15 p.m. airs "A Farewell to Arms," the 1957 adaptation of Ernest Hemingway's book starring Rock Hudson. ... On a new episode of "Oz" (HBO, 10 p.m.), a new employee in the warden's office suggests a prison boxing league.
On this date...
in 1987, as a publicity stunt,
"Entertainment Tonight's" Mary Hart has her legs insured
by Lloyd's of London for $2 million.
-- Tom Heald
Tuesday
Anti-Jeffersonian "Starship." No one thought too much of "Starship Troopers" when the film was released in 1997. But it's coming to the small screen, and that, says TV Barn contributor John Zipperer in his weekly column, is a good thing: "The incredible space battles will not have the same impact on the small screen, but the political commentary should play even better in the intimacy of the living room." Also this week, Zippy sifts through the responses to his column last week on the recent Internet "Star Trek" spaz attack. ... Read Zippy's column
PBS man in town. Former New York Times correspondent Hedrick Smith, a Pulitzer Prize winner for his reporting on the Soviet Union and Warsaw Pact countries in 1974, is now making provocative documentaries for PBS. He visited Kansas City recently to shoot a story for his three-hour "Seeking Solutions" special, coming this fall to PBS. ... Read my interview as it appeared in the Kansas City Star.
On this date ... in 1994, NBC becomes the first network
gullible enough to let Michael Moore have a show. Moore
immediately rewards the network by "trying to save
money" by moving his "TV Nation" to Mexico.
-- Tom Heald
Monday
Ending Milosevic's media monopoly
Serbian leader Slobodan Milosevic has been indicted by a
war-crimes tribunal. His army has been run out of
Kosovo. He is losing popular support with his church and
in towns once solidly behind him. There seems little
left for Mr. Milosevic to hold onto.
Except, of course, for the media.
When NATO began its bombing of Belgrade in March, one of
Mr. Milosevic's first actions was to declare every
independent broadcast and print outlet in the country
illegal and order them shut down. Now as he faces the
political battle of his life, Mr. Milosevic is gripping
tight to his media monopoly and hoping he can use it to
reverse his image in the public's eye. He has, you may
recall, done it before.
One of the first stations targeted by Mr. Milosevic's
decree was Radio B92 in Belgrade, a fiercely independent
FM whose slogan is "Trust no one -- not even us." I
wrote about B92 in this space three months ago. At the
time, the state had just taken over the station and
converted it into a propaganda arm. After 10 years of
airing progressive music and unfiltered news, B92 had
become just another outlet for Mr. Milosevic's
nationalist spew.
The station's editor in chief, Veran Matic, eventually
fled Belgrade for nearby Montenegro, which is where my
e-mail last week found him.
Mr. Matic does not back down easily. This is the third
time B92 has been shut down. When the government tried
it before, Mr. Matic and his staff set up loudspeakers
outside their office and read the news directly to the
people of Belgrade.
Lately the Internet has been B92's most useful weapon.
While he was in hiding, Mr. Matic stayed in constant
contact with his staff using a laptop computer and
e-mail.
"I'll soon be back in Belgrade and we'll start our
broadcasts shortly after that," Mr. Matic promised. The
new station, dubbed "B2-92," should be on the air by
month's end, initially broadcasting 12 hours per day.
Mr. Matic says most of his staff of 170 full- and
part-time employees are ready to resume their work, and
he has secured funding from donors outside the country.
(The non-commercial B92 is supported by a global network
of partners including financier George Soros.)
Mr. Matic also hopes to have B92's radio network up and
running soon. Before the war, B92's signal was relayed
out of the country via the Internet. The BBC in London
picked it up and beamed it back in to more than 30
stations throughout Serbia. This ingenious setup made
possible a national news service to challenge Radio
Television Serbia (RTS), which is controlled by Mr.
Milosevic.
"The regime could never ban B92 in peacetime, although
we operated without a license for eight years," said Mr.
Matic. With characteristic wryness he added, "It took a
bombing by 19 countries for the regime to take away our
radio. And anyone will admit that a takeover is
difficult to avert if 1,000 aircraft with as many
missiles are flying over your head."
But B92 and its fans kept the faith. When the government
took over the B92 Web site (which had peaked at 17
million hits a week prior to the shutdown), a Dutch
provider started up a new one at www.freeb92.net. And
under less-than-ideal conditions to say the least, B92
staffers in Belgrade shot a rousing four-minute video in
a cellar, set it to the tune of "The Magnificent Seven"
and put it on the Web site.
"The spirit of Radio B92 is no longer focused in one
building," says the video's English-speaking narrator.
"It is dispersed to a million secret addresses and
pulses underground. The waves B92 has been making for 10
years are still spreading -- irresistibly."
To American ears, this sounds like bravado. But around
Serbia people are clearly tired of hearing nothing but
Radio-TV Slobo and they're starting to find ways to
circumvent it.
One of the more amusing examples happened earlier this
month on a TV station in the industrial town of
Leskovac. During a break in a basketball telecast, a
technician inserted a videotape urging residents to
rally that Monday in the town square. More than 25,000
people showed up, and when the technician was jailed for
organizing the protest, they showed up again the next
day to demand his release.
Late last month, Mr. Milosevic sent his goons to close
down an independent TV station in Sokobanja that had
resumed broadcasting after the NATO ceasefire. They
seized TV Soko's equipment and jailed the station chief.
Remarkably, TV Soko got ahold of backup equipment and
was on the air again in just 10 hours. Radio Velika
Kikinda has survived two shutdowns in as many months.
Mr. Milosevic may have succeeded in silencing B92 and
other media in Belgrade, but he wasn't so fortunate in
the countryside, where his support was supposedly
stronger. Of the more than 40 radio and TV stations
belonging to ANEM, the independent media consortium Mr.
Matic helped set up, many in outlying areas stayed on
despite the official ban.
"They turned out to be much more efficient in providing
information during wartime than the state media," said
Mr. Matic. "That is one of the reasons why it is now
easier to organize demonstrations in the inland cities
than in the capital of Serbia."
Unfortunately, the West's relentless bombing raids
ruined most local economies in Serbia. As a result, no
one can afford to buy spots on the non-state-run
stations.
"Commercials no longer exist," said Mr. Matic. "That
might force a number of station owners to close down
their stations."
Mr. Matic sees the "massive popular dissatisfaction"
with Mr. Milosevic as an opportunity for revival of
independent media -- not just in Serbia but in Kosovo
and even Montenegro, where Mr. Milosevic is currently
trying to pick a new fight.
"The concept of propaganda is dying out," said Mr.
Matic. "It really does not take much wisdom to see that
the state media propaganda output is gross lies. The
obvious defeat in Kosovo is defined in the state media
as a victory. They're saying that we can renew the
country on our own. Everybody can see that's impossible.
The big deception has been used up."
That, too, sounds to me like bravado. For even Mr.
Matic's closest allies concede that he faces an uphill
battle against the ever-resilient Mr. Milosevic.
"Veran Matic has proven himself extremely resourceful
over the years," said Ann Cooper, executive director of
the Committee to Protect Journalists. "But as we saw
earlier this year, the dictators still have the upper
hand."
Footnotes to Topfive.com piece:
Among the "Least Popular Fox Reality Shows" I was sent from the contributors to the Top 5 List:
- "When Allergies Attack!"
- "World's Wildest Bumper Car Crashes"
- "World's Funniest Strip Searches!"
- "True Stories of the Highway Maintenance Department"
- "World's Most Nervous Urinating Dogs Caught on Tape!"
- "Knock-Knock Jokes Revealed!"
- "The World's Most Awkward Silences!"
- "Rupert Murdoch's Acquisitions -- Caught on Tape!"
- "Touched by an A-hole"
- "America's Funniest Wave-Particle Dualities!"
- "When Papercuts Infect!"
- "When the Lens Cap is On"
- "CPAS!"
- "Downunder III: When Koalas Swarm"
- "Caught in the Act: First Graders Eating Paste!"
- "Georgia's Scariest Unlicensed Back Country Proctologists"
- "When Bar Mitzvahs Go Bad!"
- "When Elephants Screw!"
- "When Supermodels Hurl!"
- "When Tourists Unpack!"
- "When Prickly Heat Attacks!"
- "World's Most Flagrant Parking Violations"
- "Behind the Wheel at the DMV"
- "Real World House Republican Caucus: What happens when 221 Republican members stop being polite, and start being bitter zealots."
- "Lifestyles of the Bastards Who Bought Yahoo! at $3 on a Lark and Are Now Worth Millions"
- "Lice Aquarium: America's Nastiest Barbacided Combs Caught On Tape"
- "POPS! - The exciting world of the old guy who tears your ticket at the discount movie theater!"
- "Pamela, Breast Implant Slayer"
- "Rescue! 411 - They don't know the name. They don't know the number. They need assistance. Broadcast live, 24 hours a day!"
- "Stamp Collecting of the Rich and Famous"
- "Scariest Haircuts of New Jersey!"
- "Stuart Dingle Jumps His Bike Over His Guinea Pig!"
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This page last updated 28-Jul-99 8:23 AM
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Articles for week of July 26, 1999
Weekend
Hats off to Mavis.
Remember when Jay Leno's publicity-shy wife Mavis steeled herself and went on "Larry King Live" to call attention to the plight of Afghani women? Ever since the Taliban took control of the country, they have imposed the most restrictive and misogynistic cultural code in modern times. The suicide rate among women in Afghanistan has soared, and for the living conditions are miserable.
... You know somebody is nervous on TV when she has a hard time even talking to Larry King. But Mavis, with help from her husband and Feminist Majority head Eleanor Smeal, did just that. Now, she is reporting great success -- only instead of going on TV she's spreading the news in print, where understandably she feels more comfortable. "Dear Abby" recently published this letter from Mavis, a follow-up to a letter of hers that had appeared last year in the column:
"To date well over 45,000 of ('Dear Abby' readers) have called to join our campaign. And they've made a huge impact. The State Department tells us that the high volume of mail we have generated is historic." The Taliban, continues Mavis, "now realize the rest of the world has drawn a line in the sand over their denial of human rights to women -- a line the Taliban can no longer pretend not to see." ... Read about the program at the Feminist Majority website ... Read a profile of Mavis Leno
Thursday: READER MAIL
Stern fan burns man.
Courtney Haden writes, "Whenever news
breaks out, there are certain broadcasting conventions
which must be observed as though rituals in a high mass:
the unobtrusive displacement of the working-stiff
anchor by the high-profile prime-time anchor, the
failure of an audio feed from the scene of the breaking
news -- and a Howard Stern fan's prank call. Once again,
Peter Jennings was marked for chagrin as he
unaccountably took a live phone call from someone
purporting to be with the Coast Guard and who concluded
his soundbite with the observation that 'Howard Stern
thinks you're a dick.'
"... Is there no call screening at ABC News? Is there no
protocol in place that might just save the noble
Canadian from humiliation by using, say, Caller ID?
Could not Cap Cities/Disney shunt a little over from the
wardrobe budget to give Pete the minimal protection of a
dump button with a three-second delay? Had Paddy
Chayevsky lived to do the sequel to 'Network,' I bet
this scene woulda been in it."
John-Con show gone?
Tom Roche writes, "I guess the recent sad events mean
that famous 'Seinfeld' episode 'The Contest,' with all
the funny JFK Jr. references, won't run anymore, yes?"
Well, you know what they say about tragedy plus time ...
Emmy feedback.
Anthony Foglia read my commentary on last week's Emmy
nominations at the TV Barn website and writes, "I must
respectfully disagree with your support of a best drama
nomination for 'Homicide: Life on the Street.' This past
season has been very weak and uninteresting. If you want
to give a nomination to a great, underappreciated show
that's leaving, might I suggest 'Star Trek: Deep Space
Nine.' It wrapped up a great run with an altogether
great year. 'The Next Generation' was honored with a
nomination in it's final year, and not only has 'DS9's'
seven years been better than 'TNG's,' but DS9's final
year was not a pale shadow of its former glory. It was
good in its own right."
... Jason Bailey writes, "This year's Emmy nominations are a
disgrace. With the exception of 'The Sopranos,' were any
of this year's new shows honored? The exclusion of
'Sports Night' (the best show on TV, for my money) from
the major categories is inexplicable, especially
considering the shows that were honored. Does anybody
really like 'Frasier' anymore? Your point about Felicity
Huffman was right on the money. But how about Peter
Krause and Josh Charles? The point might be made that
'Sports Night' was low-rated but hey, nobody was
watching 'Mad About You' or '3rd Rock' this season
either, yet Reiser and Lithgow were somehow nominated.
(Lithgow's nominations have grown especially old. Just
because the guy used to be a good actor...)
"... Equally puzzling were the exclusions of 'Will &
Grace' (even in best supporting actor) and 'Felicity,'
which I think has quietly become one of the best shows
on the air. And Keri Russell is a terrific actress. When
the Golden Globes, which nominated her, are ahead of the
curve, the Emmy is in serious trouble."
Why can't you be more like THEM?
Then there's Daria Gold, who writes, "I am tired of TV
critics picking their favorites, then trying to cram
them down our throats. There's always some darling show
that doesn't do as well as the media maestros think it
should. A few years ago it was 'Murder One.' Now, in
your Emmy articles, you're going on about 'Sports Night'
and 'Will & Grace.' Oh, please. 'Sports Night' doesn't
pull the viewer in or lend itself to being followed by
anyone who missed an episode, and 'Will & Grace' went
from being utterly charming to utterly predictable in
the course of three episodes. Evidently, TV critics have
to watch so much television that they start calling the
mediocre 'brilliant.' It's not. Maybe you and your
fellow TV critics need a one-season job swap with some
movie critics, who as a group should be far less cranky
than they are."
Don't forget 'Prescription: Murder.'
Finally, everybody's favorite accordionado Barry
Mitchell writes, "I see that CBS Corp. has invested in
an online pharmacy, Rx.com, in exchange for advertising
and promotion on CBS properties. New shows this fall:
'Everybody Loves Ritalin' and '60 Milligrams.'"
On this date...
in 1981, who needs Erica Kane when
you can watch a real royal wedding? 750 million tune in
live to watch the Archbishop of Canterbury wed up Chuck
and Di at St. Paul's Cathedral.
-- Tom Heald
Wednesday
WGBH mess hurts all. Thanks to the boneheads who allowed donor lists at public TV station WGBH in Boston to be swapped with the Democratic Party, every public broadcaster -- TV and radio -- stands to lose. Until the scandal broke, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting stood to receive a hefty increase in funds from Congress, including a $300 million shot-in-the-arm for converting TV stations for digital. Now it might get just a fraction of that, as I report in a story appearing in Wednesday's Kansas City Star. ... Read the story
Radio group doubles. The radio station owner that owns more stations -- and makes more money off them -- in Kansas City is about to double in size. Entercom of Bala Cynwyd, Pa., is buying all but a handful of stations from Sinclair Broadcast Group of Baltimore, which is getting out of the radio business so it can concentrate on TV. The only kink in the deal: to make Justice Dept. officials happy they'll have to sell three of the 11 stations it is temporarily holding in K.C. ... Once again, read my story as it appears in Wednesday's Kansas City Star.
On this date...
in 1997, former Nixon speechwriter
and sitcom teacher first invites you "Win Ben Stein's
Money" on Comedy Central.
-- Tom Heald
Tuesday
The show nobody wants. Thirty years ago, acclaimed science fiction screenwriter David Gerrold developed a TV show concept called "The Star Wolf." It has gone through more development deals than Tony Danza, and at one point six scripts were actually written. But after three decades, not one episode has been made of the promising series. Gerrold tells TV Barn contributor John Zipperer: "Everyone loves us. Conditions aren't right at this studio. That one has this other obligation. This fellow doesn't understand science fiction. That one is already invested in another show. These folks don't have the money. Those folks don't have the foreign market. Nobody can quite put all the pieces together." ... Read Zippy's column
Monday
The hair returns! "Nightline" host Ted Koppel will hold his third summit meeting with David Letterman tonight on the "Late Show." It marks the first time back to the Ed Sullivan Theater since his appearance during Dave's first season at CBS. (After that segment, you may recall the two men put on Rollerblades and went skating on West 52nd Street.) Koppel's only other appearance was during a road show taped in Washington, D.C., in which the avuncular news anchor appeared with his dog. Also this week on the guest list: Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong on Friday. That segment will tape Thursday.
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Copyright ©1999 Aaron Barnhart. Redistribution prohibited.
This page last updated 1-Aug-99 8:48 PM
>>> Aaron Barnhart's TVBARN.COM
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Articles for week of August 2, 1999
Thursday
Mister congenialty. Poor Craig Kilborn! Nobody these days seems to be taking his jokes in the spirit in which they were intended. Two weeks ago, Kilborn came out to Pasadena to warm up the crowd at the annual TV Critics Association Awards, and decided to hurl a few zingers the critics' way. But the scribes weren't tickled by the alleged jokes made at their expense -- least of all The Washington Post's Tom Shales, who wasn't in attendance but certainly must have heard within hours of Kilborn's calling him a "fat f---." ... Now it turns out some viewers in New York are upset over a joke Kilborn made about Alzheimer's. Read the story
"Siskel" to be retired. Roger Ebert will end "Siskel & Ebert" on Aug. 21 with a montage tribute to his late partner, Gene Siskel, reports Robert Feder in the Chicago Sun-Times. Then on Sept. 4, the retitled "Roger Ebert and the Movies" will debut.
Diversity, cont'd. Reader
Kathy Kovacic wonders if the TV industry is really that interested in diversity. She writes, "I notice how 'The Sopranos' and 'Sex in the City,' both deserving but all-white shows, managed to garner more accolades than 'Oz' or 'Arliss,' both of which have minority actors in lead roles. 'Arliss' is probably one of the most under-acclaimed shows on TV, and Michael Boatman and Sandra Oh both deserve Emmy nominations as much as any other white supporting actors who were nominated for comedy series."
It's a crime. Reader Patrick Brown writes, "I can't help but agree with you and your take on the Emmys. I've argued with people for years that 'Homicide' was the
best show on television, and yet they kept getting screwed out of Emmys.
The sad thing is, this year wasn't the show's best, and I don't know if
it is worthy of the honor, but I still say it performed at least as well
as the other shows nominated."
Pick to click.
"Nightline in Primetime" (ABC, 10 p.m. Thursday), the one-part newsmagazine, one-part pop-science lesson, one-part "Monty Python" with correspondent Robert Krulwich, updates
the ongoing struggle between man and machine. As tiny computers continue infiltrating every crevice of American life _ and our bodies _ Krulwich asks what is lost each time a microprocessor perfectly emulates a human function. We watch as dancer Bill T. Jones sticks dozens of trackballs to his body and creates a computer double that matches his movements precisely. But is it really him? Can it ever be? ... Also tonight, a St. Louis murder nearly four decades old is one of three "cold cases" finally solved through advances in forensic technology on "Investigative Reports" at 9 p.m. and 1 a.m. on A&E.
On this date...
in 1957, after five years on local
TV in Philadelphia, "American Bandstand" makes its
network debut, with Buddy Holly's "That'll Be The Day"
and Billy Williams and The Chordettes stopping by to
chat with Dick Clark.
-- Tom Heald
Wednesday: READER MAIL
Tragedy plus time ...
Jim Teske writes, "Just a comment about the Tom Roche letter concerning the JFK Jr. episode of 'Seinfeld' ('The Contest'). One only has to look to the 'Boyfriend Part 1' episode where John-John's father's death is worked into the plot. That episode revolves around Kramer and Newman attending a Mets game where they believe they were spat upon by Mets first baseman Keith Hernandez. Jerry then goes on to disprove their 'theory' by imitating a scene from Oliver Stone's 'JFK.' This scene mimics Kevin Costner's courtroom debunking of the 'magic bullet' theory propounded by the Warren Commission.Ê If we can be shown a scene that is a takeoff of JFK's assassination then I think it's safe to say that the JFK Jr. episode will be re-run in short order."
"Later" bait.
Anthony Foglia writes, "In NBC late night's most recent attempt destroying whatever regular audience 'Later' still gets, they replaced the normal interview with an episode of 'In the House,' the short-lived NBC sitcom starring LL Cool J that was then picked up by UPN. I doubt they've ran through all the SCTV episodes already. So NBC must be have something in mind, but other than attempting to get lower ratings than test patterns, I can see no reason behind their madness. How about we start a write-in campaign to at least get Costas to update more of his interviews? That actually got me to want and to try to watch 'Later.'" ... An NBC spokesman tells TV Barn the one-week substitution of "In the House" episodes last week was a first and last. In fact, expect no episodic series (including "SCTV") in the "Later" time slot for some time.
Coming up: "Mr. T, Mr. T and Tina."
In response to the announcement of a new Wayans brothers comedy whose working title is "Not the Bradys," Michael Jones writes, "A true merger should result in 'The Brayans' -- perhaps the most amusing interracial combination since the near pop merger of the Jackson 5 with the Osmonds. Not all these mixed families would make
good television fare, however. For instance, I think the Bundys somehow
linking up with the Cosbys ('The BunCo's,' or 'Al in the Family') would be
a nightmare mix of dignity and crassness -- unwatchable on either Fox or CBS.
Hopefully, this Wayans show won't start a trend that wears out its welcome."
FINALLY. At long last, NBC is letting Conan O'Brien take his show on the road. "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" will air one week of broadcasts from Johnny Carson's (and Howie Mandel's) former home, NBC Studio One in Burbank, Nov. 9-12. Although this is not the first time O'Brien has been allowed to tape his show from a remote location (one broadcast was done from a Manhattan charter boat and several had to be shot out-of-studio after smoke and fire tore through 30 Rockefeller Center), it is the first legit road show in the six-year history of "Late Night." And long overdue.
Tuesday
B92 is back! It's called B292 now, but independent Serbian radio station B92, behind editor-in-chief Veran Matic, has returned to the air. The New York Times reports, "B292 introduced its morning news today with a familiar clip from the original station: recorded remarks by President Slobodan Milosevic and opposition leaders interspersed with the sounds of a flushing toilet." The plan is eventually to extend its news and information to the 70 percent of the country B92 served using its weak Belgrade signal and an ingenious network of affiliated sites. ... Read my original report about the closing of B92 as well as my more recent followup. You can read today's story if you are registered at the New York Times on the Web.
Pick to click.
"Beavis & Butt-head" inspired "Daria," and now the third generation of quirky, singular animated series from MTV arrives in the form of "Downtown,"
starting at 10:30 tonight. Our hero this time is a young copy-shop worker named Alex, who has to be one of the least demonstrative cartoon leads since Eeyore. But he surrounds himself with a cast of fellow New Yorkers who are young, self-absorbed but instantly likable. They give "Downtown" a sensibility all its own, one more like that of a comic book than a sitcom. "Downtown" comes from the mind of Chris Prynoski, a 27-year-old who has spent his entire career at the cable channel (he worked on "Beavis" and "Daria").
On this date...
in 1989, "I'm Sam Donaldson and I'm
Diane Sawyer and this is PRIME TIME LIVE!" and for some
reason they're doing a newsmagazine with a live studio
audience and taking their cameras live all over the
world, where very little is hapenening. But at least
they're LIVE!
-- Tom Heald
From the TV critics tour
Dateline Pasadena. The Television Critics Association summer tour, held at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in Pasadena, ended Sunday. Here are some of the memorable stories filed from that dog-and-pony show over the past three weeks:
Monday

It'll take more than Richard "John-Boy" Thomas for the miracle to resolve the conflict between Pax and a pesky affiliate.
Pax stirs union trouble. There are only four people in the entire shop, but the tiny band of master control operators at Kansas City's KPXE-TV have made history twice against Lowell "Bud" Paxson's owned-and-operated TV network. KPXE was the first Pax TV station to organize, in 1997; and now it's the first to stage a public protest against the network, after more than a year of collective bargaining with management proved fruitless. ... Read my article from Saturday's Kansas City Star
Pick to click. As any late-night TV aficionado will tell you, Anthony Quinn is one of the great raconteurs ever to grace a talk show. Bob Costas spun several nights of gold from a long conversation with the movie star. Unfortunately talk shows these days aren't interested in any guest older than 40 (unless he's Rip Taylor). So thank goodness for Turner Classic Movies, which has brought out Quinn for an update on a career that spanned seven decades and intersected with Hollywood's greatest talents. "Private Screenings: Anthony Quinn" is on at 8 tonight on TCM, accompanied by seven movies from the Quinn oeuvre. ... Also tonight, it was only a matter of time before the E! channel got around to telling the twisted tale of TV's Batman. "Adam West: The E! True Hollywood Story" airs at 9 p.m. on E!
On this date...
in 1954, since everyone else is on
vacation, ABC hits the road for eight weeks, looking for
fun at the Grand Canyon, Cape Cod, Yosemite and other
travel destinations along "U.S. Highway 1954."
-- Tom Heald
A modest proposal for public TV
A friend of mine who heads up a video production company
has been driving his staff nuts lately. This particular
outfit has supplied countless hours of documentaries to
public broadcasting in the past.
But now, he's had it with the public sector. Too much
red tape, too many frustrations, too many projects kept
on the back burner for years at a time. So now, as the
mood strikes him, he yells out of his office to no one
in particular, "Dot-com! Dot-com! Forget dot-org!"
("Forget" is a paraphrase, of course.)
Translation: I've had it with people whose e-mail
addresses end in .org. From now on, I'm dealing only
with .com.
He's not alone. We live, after all, in the time of the
$70 billion spectrum giveaway and the proposed $800
billion tax cut. Everyone wants to know the latest IPO
(initial public offering) and nobody cares what IPS (the
nonprofit Institute for Policy Studies) has to say about
it.
And even people who once felt wedded to the non-profit
TV sector are going commercial. Their ideas, which
traditionally would have been sold to PBS, are
increasingly winding up in the hands of A&E, Discovery
and Fox.
Yes, Fox. It was recently reported that Rupert Murdoch's
television empire is developing a miniseries based on
Howard Zinn's book, /{The People's History of the United
States,/} after Zinn failed to locate a non-commercial
TV outlet interested in developing it.
Reportedly a PBS executive told Zinn that his book was
"too left-wing" for public TV. And yet, here's Murdoch,
who was not exactly raised in red nappies, bankrolling
the project for the world's wildest commercial network.
Public TV has itself to blame for some of this. As I
write, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting is trying
desperately to salvage a plan that would have sent some
much-needed federal dollars to the nation's public TV
stations for digital upgrades and other purposes. The
bill, introduced by Rep. Billy Tauzin, hit a brick wall
when it was discovered WGBH-TV in Boston had swapped
donor lists with the Democratic Party.
And that, we were told, wasn't the half of it. Dozens,
scores, hundreds of public TV stations were trading
their donor lists with political parties of every
stripe. Anything for a buck. It turns out the story was
wrong -- other than WGBH, no station shared its lists
with political groups. They did buy names of political
donors and sent those people mail hitting them up for
cash. Regardless, the Tauzin proposal is now in serious
jeopardy.
This is a shame -- not because I relish the idea of PBS
executives passing up still more great TV projects
because they think they're "too left-wing," but because
it distracts us once again from the larger questions of
mass media: Do they simply exist to make a buck? Or do
they exist to serve the public?
If the latter, then clearly the current plan of creating
500 commercial TV channels, while leaving PBS to slowly
wither on the vine, is not working. Twenty years ago, a
blue-ribbon panel convened by the Carnegie Commission,
known as "Carnegie II," issued a set of recommendations
for the future of public broadcasting. To keep the
system from starving, the panel urged Congress to
increase federal support to $1 billion by 1985.
What would that be in today's dollars? Without reaching
for my calculator I can tell you: it's a hell of a lot
more than public broadcasting gets. The Tauzin plan, if
it passes, will give the Corporation $475 million in the
year 2002 -- peanuts by Carnegie II standards.
Clearly public broadcasting is going to need a lot more
support if it has any chance of serving all the
potential audiences out there. Congress can only do so
much. Bottom line, the dot-org needs a lot more aid from
its dot-com friends.
In view of the recent ruckus raised by the NAACP, I've
come up with a plan. Mind you, Bea Arthur has a better
chance of getting a new TV series than my plan has of
seeing the light of day. But hear me out anyway.
The networks are under fire from minority groups because
their fall schedules, to use the NAACP's idiom, are
whitewashed. PBS, meanwhile, is the most diverse of the
country's broadcast networks.
Frankly, I doubt most of us could care less whether an
extra Asian is cast on a network sitcom, or another
black actor is hauled in to supervise some white cops in
a fictional squad room.
Instead, the commercial networks should follow my modest
proposal, which is for them to shell over tens of
millions of dollars each year to fund new shows on
public TV written by, produced by and starring black and
minority talent.
Each series would be fully funded and underwritten, and
would only run for a few episodes (which is how every
state-run TV network in the world does it except ours).
So the emphasis would stay on creativity, not ratings.
And rather than making token on-screen hires, these
series would be staffed top to bottom with people who
reflect America's true diversity.
The broadcasters can hire their own production companies
or partner with existing ones (San Francisco's ITVS, in
fact, specializes in minority-produced programs). They
can even set aside a second public-TV signal expressly
for the purpose. Hey, it's their spectrum.
I for one can't wait for that first donor card to go up
on screen: "Made possible by a grant from Mr. and Mrs.
Rupert Murdoch."
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Articles for week of August 9, 1999
Thursday
Andy's leaving!
It's apparently no hoax: Andy Richter is leaving "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" in spring 2000. Richter spoke in an extended final segment of Wednesday's broadcast: "I just wanted to mention it here on the show because there's no animosity. I'm just going off to try that entrepreneurial spirit. I'm setting off on my own." He'll leave in nine months, on the eve of O'Brien's eighth season on NBC. "I think I speak for the staff, I speak for myself -- you're an incredibly talented person, the most talented person I've ever met, it's been a pleasure," said O'Brien in return. "I hope you'll come back again someday -- when I'm on cable -- and visit me."
Scripps cuts back. It wasn't a good second quarter for most TV station groups, but E.W. Scripps Co. of Cincinnati was hit especially hard. The company ordered across-the-board cuts at all 10 stations it owns or operates. At Cleveland's WEWS-TV, that resulted in a 30-year-old morning show getting the axe. At Kansas City's KSHB-TV, the station's longest-serving anchor was pink-slipped -- along with a second anchor who was canned for that most time-honored of reasons: management thought it was time to "go in a different direction."
... Read my story from Thursday's Kansas City Star
On this date...
In 1982, "Bosom Buddies" and "Mork
& Mindy" both air for the final time on ABC. The leading
actors for both shows are doomed to live in obscurity.
-- Tom Heald
Wednesday
The EZ Chip. So I'm invited to speak on a panel this week on media violence. It's being hosted by a local congressman in his district in suburban and well-to-do Johnson County, Kansas. I'm thinking to myself, What the heck am I going to do besides regurgitate stories I've already written, when I light on an idea:
I'll introduce them to the V-chip.
You may not know this, but in electronics showrooms across the country, the V-chip has already reached near-ubiquity. A $3 implement, the technology designed to block out objectionable programming adds little or nothing to the price point of a new TV. And since half the TV sets manufactured between July and December have to be in compliance anyway, it appears the big TV makers decided, Let's just go all the way. (As a salesman at my local store pointed out, Why take a chance and leave out something your competitor might put in?)
Ubiquitous, and invisible: When I quizzed people on the floor of a Kansas City dealership, none of them had ever worked the parental controls on the new TVs. I suspected things wouldn't be much different with a roomful of parents and educators, a hunch that turned out to be right. So, I got a loaner set and headed off to Johnson County.
I tested out several Sony, Toshiba and Panasonic models. The V-chip is programmable from the on-screen menu of each. The menu option was always "Parental Controls," but from there the navigation varied slightly from set to set. The first thing you're asked for is a password. You key in the password (usually twice to confirm you did it correctly, since the password isn't shown on-screen), then you turn parental controls on, then you specify which shows you want blocked. Then it's programmed, more or less for life. A battery ensures the settings and password stay put even if the TV is disconnected.
There are two sets of parental controls, one for TV ratings and one for movie ratings. In each case, all the sets I tested made blocking remarkably easy. You select a baseline rating and with a couple button pushes, all the ratings at and above that baseline are blocked out. For instance, selecting TV-PG will also block out shows rated TV-14 and TV-MA. From there you can make exceptions. A parent may not object to shows with sex so much as those with violence and foul language, and could unblock shows rated TV-14 that carried an "S" (for sex) content rating. There is a similar setup for movies according to their ratings; blocking a PG-13 will also block R, NC-17 and X-rated films. In addition, parents can choose whether or not to block unrated programming.
Sony's interface was the best I tested. It takes simplification one step further with three pre-settings for "young child," "child" and "young adult" that block out all programs and movies according to age with one press of the button.
But -- and this is the larger point -- regardless of manufacturer, setting a V-chip is a relatively effortless, one-time-only procedure. You don't need the manual to figure out where the V-chip is: it's right there with all the other on-screen settings on your TV. This I verified by bringing my loaner set out to Johnson County and coaxing a reluctant volunteer to take hold of the remote and program the V-chip. Within minutes, and with a little coaching from me, she had it programmed.
As I stressed to my audience, however, a program filter, no matter how handy, is just one tool in coping with what seems like an all-out media bombardment of the home. The most effective filter is still the brain, and you activate it by talking back to your TV set.
Read more about TV ratings and the V-chip:
Pick to click. Underrated and underappreciated, "The Ultimate Computer" is one of the best
episodes of Star Trek (Sci-Fi, 7 and 11 p.m. Wednesday). The episode is
largely elevated to classic status by a fabulous performance from guest
star William Marshall. Throw in some fine character moments for the crew
and yet another computer that tries to take control of -- well, everything, and you've got classic, vintage Trek. -- Laurel Krahn
On this date...
In 1991, "Doug," "The Ren & Stimpy
Show," and "Rugrats" make their debuts on the
Nickelodeon cable channel, launching the network's Snick
original programming prime-time block.
-- Tom Heald
Tuesday
CNN installs metal detectors. The recent shooting rampages in Atlanta and Alabama apparently made an impression on the security force at One CNN Center. According to a memo circulated Monday, "Some employees will have to undergo package, briefcase or purse inspection and/or a wave of the metal detecting wand." The memo, signed by Headline News chief Bob Furnad, continues, "I'm sure you understand the sensitive situation we all are finding ourselves in."
Holy Hollywood hatchet job! What was it that made "Batman and Robin," the 1997 installment in the "Batman" movie revival, so unwatchably bad? TV Barn contributor John Zipperer has a few reasons: "Val Kilmer could at least play the Bruce Wayne playboy role, which George Clooney is unable to pull off. He's too busy mugging to the camera and trading one-liners. Too much of the story is told through lame comedic dialogue, and even the dramatic conflict between Batman and Robin is reduced to a game of snaps." Also this week: Sci-Fi Channel launches a book imprint. ... Read Zippy's column
On this date...
In 1996, HBO attempts to pull the
(Robert) Wuhl over our eyes by trying to pass "Arli$$"
off as the equal to "The Larry Sanders Show."
-- Tom Heald
Pick to click:
Great news. "American Presidents: Life Portraits," the unparalleled documentary series from C-SPAN, will be repeated throughout August while Congress is on its summer break. The 20 three-hour programs so far produced began airing Monday and will continue Monday through Thursday at 7 p.m. on C-SPAN2 through Sept. 2.
... Also tonight, this is no urban legend: A gruesome black market is emerging for transplant organs. "Investigative Reports" presents jarring video from India at 9 p.m. on A&E. Overnight, the Discovery channel is supplying live coverage of the solar eclipse that will pass over Europe early tomorrow morning. "Discovery Eclipse 99" begins 6 a.m. Tuesday night (Wednesday morning).
Monday
"Virtual Jay" is a new feature on the "Tonight Show" web site.
Delayed reaction. It's not as widely practiced as in the past, but TV stations are still postponing their network's late-night programs for syndicated fare. Most are in small markets and the two personalities most often delayed are Craig Kilborn and Ted Koppel. But even the king of late night, Jay Leno, is not hailed as such in every city where "The Tonight Show" airs. Believe it or not, Minneapolis-St. Paul, one of the nation's 20 largest markets, postpones Leno for a half hour so that it can show a rerun of that hip, happening, double-fresh new sitcom -- "Cheers."
... The station, KARE-TV in Minneapolis, has one of the highest-rated late local newscasts in the nation. Combined with the big numbers for "Cheers," Leno gets a healthy-sized lead-in at 11:05 p.m. But still Leno is peeved at playing backup, as reader Jerad Hoff reports: "Paul Magers, KARE's anchor-man-extraordinare, makes regular appearances on
KFAN-AM (the former radio home of Gov. Jesse Ventura). A caller was complaining that KARE still delays Leno for old 'Cheers' reruns. The show host and Magers laughed, as this question is asked quite frequently. Magers explained it's pure economics. Cheers routinely beats Letterman in the ratings and KARE owns every commercial spot that runs during 'Cheers.' Magers then told a story about a time when Leno came to town for some event and KARE sent a cameraman over. Leno agreed to do a quick interview -- then spent the entire time complaining to the cameraman about being delayed."
Pick to click. Everybody on tonight's "Politically Incorrect" broadcast (ABC, 12:05 a.m.) will appear in swimsuits only. The guests: Kato Kaelin, TV actress Golden Brooks, cyberporn entrepreneur Danni Ashe and ... Floyd Brown? Humor us, Floyd -- show up in a two-piece.
On this date...
In 1974, as he marches out stiffly to
the waiting helicopter, President Richard Nixon turns,
smiles broadly, and flings out both hands in victory
signs, so that the viewing public can see just how hip a
cat he was even while resigning.
-- Tom Heald
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Articles for week of August 16, 1999
Wednesday-Thursday
Pick to click. Two installments of the well-done "Teen Files" series, which combines the intensity of extreme sports with the moral air of a public-service program, air Thursday night on UPN. In "The Truth About Drinking" (UPN, 8 p.m.), teens visit the morgue to see two of their peers fresh from their fatal drunken-driving wreck. Not to be one-upped, "Smoking: Truth or Dare?" (8 p.m.) sends its subjects to an autopsy of a lifelong smoker. But it's obvious these and other scare tactics make their impact on the teen-agers, who are chosen because of their vices as well as for their nonchalance about health risks. Leeza Gibbons is host for both hours.
Also tonight, in the fourth installment of "Nightline in Primetime: Brave New World" (ABC, 10 p.m.), correspondent Robert Krulwich discusses the pros and cons of human cloning with a Princeton professor. Yes, apparently there is an upside to human cloning. Perhaps more amazing, tonight's program features no performances by They Might Be Giants.
Tuesday
Who wants to watch a bunch of knuckleheads? After just one night, things aren't looking too promising for the ballyhooed prime-time game show "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" Inspired by "The $64,000 Question," the pumped-up quizzer is airing for two straight weeks on ABC at 8:30 p.m. But the suspense of the British version of "Millionaire" -- of which this show is an exact duplicate, except for the locale (New York) and host (Regis Philbin) -- is missing here, mainly because the first two contestants are struggling to answer even the simplest of questions.
... The British "Millionaire," which ABC sent to TV critics earlier this summer, featured tough questions. That was part of the suspense: the realization that you had no more of a clue about the answer than the contestants. Not here. The night's first victim claimed to be a member of Mensa, but he whiffed on a $2,000-level question: In 1993 Benazir Bhutto was elected prime minister of which country? He was followed by a woman who could recall a wedding on an episode of "L.A. Law" but seemed not to know that a full house beat a three of a kind. She used one of her three allowable cheats to overcome that one; she used another to correctly guess the capital of Iraq! So she remembers the biggest show of 1986 -- but hasn't a clue about the biggest show of 1991? And we're supposed to tune in Tuesday to see how she fares in the next round? Think again, Art Fleming-breath.
Pick to click. Ever wonder how the series Martial Law (CBS, 8 p.m.) began? I know,
the show has such a complicated premise that new fans are dying to see the
pilot episode. Or perhaps not. In any case, the pilot is rebroadcast
tonight. Thus begins a week of Sammo Hung and friends kicking butt
(cool!). CBS is airing Martial Law every night from
Tuesday through Saturday. Great fun for those of us who like their summer nights
full of kicking. -- Laurel
Krahn . . . See Laurel's other
picks for Tuesday.
... Also going on all this week: To understand the scheduling of this week's History Channel extravanganza "The History of Sex," you only have to know this: It sells. This provocative miniseries, airing at 10 nightly through Friday, unapologetically sheds several taboos of basic cable. You'll see pornographic stills from centuries past. You'll hear readings from a Marquis de Sade novel. You'll have ancient sex practices explained. You get the point. This one is for adults only -- preferably adults between the ages of 25 and 54, the kind advertisers love. (And
of course I mean "love" in the Platonic sense.)
Monday
Pick to click. Are there any two stars more stunning than Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman?
Perhaps, but you wouldn't know it from watching Indiscreet (AMC,
8:30pm, letterboxed version at 2:30am). Stanley Donen directed this fun,
mature tale of a love affair that may or may not involve some sort of
indiscretion. Only Grant could pull off some of the scenes in this film--
he's both suave and silly without losing his dignity. -- Laurel Krahn
Weekend
Picks to click. At VH1 and its sister network MTV, they have a philosophy that if something works, do it again -- and again, and again, till everyone gets sick of it, then move on. (A producer friend who used to work at VH1 always referred to it as Kinko's.) Case in point: VH1's most talked-about program this year is "Behind the Music," a documentary series featuring true-life stories of the bands you loved as a kid and what happened to them after you stopped loving them. Nearly every episode has involved a fall from grace, a legal nightmare, an overdose, early death or all of the above. The show became such a hit for VH1 that the network recently extended "Behind the Music" to seven nights, adding still more artists, even those of dubious demerit; the worst the producers could dig up on "Weird Al" Yankovic, for instance, was that his movie flopped.
... Now comes "Sweetwater: A True Rock Story," a new two-hour "fact-based drama" at 9 p.m. Sunday on VH1 that takes the idea of "Behind the Scenes" and semi-fictionalizes it. "Sweetwater" tells the story of a cable producer who makes a documentary about a band that played at Woodstock and was never heard from again. That's right -- a movie about the making of an episode of "Behind the Scenes."
... It sounds worse than it is. Kelli Williams, the impossibly soft and sweet lawyer from "The Practice," and Amy Jo Johnson, a regular on "Felicity," save "Sweetwater" from movie-of-the-week wretchedness. Williams plays the producer in search of Sweetwater's enchanting lead singer, Nansi Nevins, played in her youth by Johnson. According to the movie, Sweetwater rode Nevins to fame, getting booked as an opening act at Woodstock before falling apart in the months after a car accident in which Nevins was nearly killed. Much of the movie's second half focuses on Nevins, who is seen plunging into alcoholism, then making an inspiring recovery. Two notes of caution: Nevins is listed as a "consultant" on "Sweetwater"; and remember this is fiction, albeit "fact-based."
... The older, wiser Nevins is played by none other than Michelle Phillips, the former singer with the Mamas & the Papas. It's an inspired casting, since that group's rise and fall is the quintessential VH1 story. The network is scheduled to make several more movies like "Sweetwater," so perhaps Phillips can "consult" on one of her own.
"Any Day Now," last year's most overlooked program, returns for a second season this weekend. Annie Potts and Lorraine Toussaint continue their adventures in interracial friendship on a new night, at 10 p.m. Sunday on Lifetime. The beauty of "Any Day Now" is not in the writing or the story lines. This show, after all, is the product of Aaron Spelling's shop, where dialogue has rarely aspired to an art form. And the contrived stories nearly always involve some righteous cause (this week it's allowing mentally challenged adults to have sex), which can get a little wearing. Rather, the beauty of this show is in its unusual structure and in the lead performances. The present always brings up the past, as seen in the frequent flashbacks to when the two women were 10-year-olds growing up in racially divided Birmingham, Ala.
... Potts and Toussaint make the contrivance work because they appear to genuinely adore each other -- and they also fight as old friends would. Their young counterparts, Mae Middleton and Shari Perry, can't match their elders' emotional intensity. But they don't need to, not when the backdrop is a city sweltering with pre-civil rights sentiment. M.E. (Potts) is still riding her roller coaster of a marriage with Colliar (Chris Mulkey, another case of terrific casting) and in this episode, adds the pressures of a full-time job. Rene (Toussaint) seems destined to prolong marrying her fiance at least until the end of the season.
On this date ... In 1997, who knew anal probing could
be so darn much fun? Well, some of you knew, but Comedy
Central lets the rest of the nation in on the secret
with the cartoon series "South Park," rated TV-MA. Kenny
gets killed, Cartman sets his cat on fire, and the baby
does a David Caruso impression. You know, the usual. (Friday, August 13)
Saturday, August 14: In 1978, French TV announces a
rating of "0" for a program about an Armenian's woman's
40th birthday. On opposing channels a Napoleanic drama
has pulled in a 67 share, while another show grabbed the
remaining 33 percent of the viewing public.
Sunday, August 15: In 1993, three and a half years after
Dr. Samuel Beckett has his first out-of-body experience,
"Quantum Leap" makes its final appearance on NBC.
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This page last updated 21-Aug-99 12:47 PM
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Articles for week of August 23, 1999
Weekend
Then there was the original "Millionaire," starring Marvin Miller as the emissary for a tycoon who made one person very rich every week. The drama series aired 1955-60.
From "64KQ" to "WWTBAM." Forty-four summers ago, a little quiz show called "The $64,000 Question" brought the nation to a screeching halt. "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" hasn't exactly done that, but given the fragmentation of the TV dial these days, anything that can pull a 20 share, even in summer, even against reruns, is a phenomenon. And it's apparently going to bring big-money quiz shows roaring back into network prime time. Not everyone thinks that's such a good thing.
Read my story from page one of Sunday's Kansas City Star
Pick to click.
Court TV reruns a marathon of the fans' alleged choices for the top ten
episodes of Homicide: Life on the Street (Court TV, 1 p.m. Sunday to 3 a.m. Monday). Most
of the picks are good to great, and I can't imagine anyone disputing the
episodes in the top three slots (arguing about placement, maybe, but not
that they deserve to be included on the list).
Still, one truly awful episode managed to make the list, at No. 8. Reason: the list was determined by votes made on the Court TV
website. Guitarist Joe Perry of the band Aerosmith had a guest role in
the aforementioned awful episode and Aerosmith fan webpages linked to the
Court TV poll ... the rest is, well, annoying to fans of a certain
groundbreaking drama.
You can see the list of episodes on Court TV's
Homicide page.
-- Laurel Krahn . . . See
Laurel's other picks.
Friday
Million dollars, baby! As the New York Post's Michael Starr rightly points out, people wouldn't be whining so pitifully about the unfairness of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" if it were titled "Who Wants $16.85?" But then, it wouldn't be the smash hit it is, either. Wednesday night's broadcast, in which Michael Shutterly walked away with half a million dollars, was by far the highest-rated show on TV in the Wednesday overnights. More significantly, it scored an eye-popping 6 rating in adults ages 18-49 -- a number most shows would be proud to have in November sweeps.
... Still, the people gripe. Some of them bellyached to the Don Kaplan in this article from the New York Post. But as TV Barn's Tom Heald observed, all of the people quoted in Kaplan's piece have no right to gripe -- they're from the "Toll Free Nine" states that don't allow 900 numbers and residents of which are redirected to a toll-free 888 phone number to qualify for "Millionaire."
Tarses firing: Why now? You would think that after enduring a summer of fire from minority groups for the lack of diversity in television, the gang at Walt Disney would hold off dumping one of the very few women executives in network TV. But no. ABC Entertainment prez Jamie Tarses walked the plank Thursday, just as a very promising fall season for the Alphabet Net was to set sail.
"The sweeping changes in the entertainment industry dictated necessary, competitive changes at ABC, and I feel that the time is right to move on," said Tarses in a statement released by the network. "Sweep" is a useful verb. It's what many at Disney wanted to do after Tarses spilled her guts to New York Times Magazine writer Lynn Hirschberg in a devastating profile two years ago. But Tarses survived, accepted a co-leadership role with veteran ABC programmer Stu Bloomberg, and all was well for two seasons. We'll know soon, I'm sure, why it didn't last a third.
Pick to click. Tonight's rerun of Homicide: Life on the Street (Court TV, 9pm and
Midnight) is a powerful episode written by Tom Fontana, directed by Jean de
Segonzac. Meldrick (Clark Johnson) and Kellerman (Reed Diamond) work a
case involving a bowling ball that's dropped from an overpass. Bayliss
(Kyle Secor) and Pembleton (Andre Braugher) investigate a double-homicide
that took place at a fast food restaurant. And then there's the shocker,
the cliffhanger from season 4 to season 5-- Frank Pembleton has a stroke.
--Laurel Krahn . . . See Laurel's other picks.
On this date...
In 1984, after 16 years as an all-male
club (if you don't count Shana Alexander), "60 Minutes"
finally goes co-ed with the words, "I'm Diane Sawyer."
Saturday, August 28: In 1968, Chicago cops succeed in
doing what many have yearned to over the years -- beat
the snot out of Dan Rather.
Reporting live during rioting at the Democratic Convention,
Rather says to Walter Cronkite,
"Excuse me for being out of breath, but a security man just
slugged me in the stomach." Rather is also knocked to
the floor and shoved toward the exit. "Get your hands
off me," he shouts. Always there with meaningful
analysis, Cronkite notes, "It looks like you have some
thugs down there, Dan."
Sunday, August 29: In 1967, in what would stand for more
than a decade as the most-watched series finale in
history, Lt. Phillip Gerard finally catches "The
Fugitive," Richard Kimble, but grants him 24 hours to
track down the notorious "one-armed man." A
confrontation finally ensues at an abandoned amusement
park at the top of the towering Mahi-Mahi ride. The
one-armed man's confession is heard by Kimble alone
before he plunges to his death. Fortunately, a witness
finally comes forward and Kimble is acquitted. An
awe-inspiring 72 percent of the viewing audience
watches.
-- Tom Heald
Thursday
Who wants to deliver a one-armed choke slam? Television history's going to be made tonight on UPN. Not since TV's earliest years has professional wrestling been a weekly franchise on a broadcast network. That will change when "WWF Smackdown" debuts on UPN at 8 p.m. tonight. Differing slightly from other WWF properties seen on cable -- it's prerecorded and edited for broadcast -- "Smackdown" will continue the storylines begun Monday nights on USA's "Raw." As if you cared. The very first "Smackdown" taping took place Tuesday at a WWF hoedown in Kansas City and yours truly was on hand to see it. Not much makes it into this story, which is more of a backgrounder on the historical import of the program, but if I have time tomorrow I'll post some of the more colorful signs and sights observed around Kemper Arena.
... Read my story in Thursday's Kansas City Star
"Millionaire" mail. Steve Beverly, who keeps the fabulous Game Show Convention Center, writes with the absolute word on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" big-money winner Doug Van Gundy: "Not that it really matters to anyone except nitpickers, but Van Gundy's winnings are DEFINITELY a one-night record for
network television. Teddy Nadler's $252,000 was not on a single episode. He originally won $64,000 on 'The $64,000 Question,' then came back for further appearances on the sister show, 'The $64,000 Challenger. He then came back to
'Question' again after they raised the plateaus and invited back former
winners. His winnings were spread out over a one-year period.
"... Some others besides TV Barn (see Wednesday, below) have questioned Van Gundy's record, because in the mid-'80s a syndicated show, '$1 Million Chance of a Lifetime,' gave away
the top jackpot to nine couples. However, those prizes (while never
verbally stated on the show) were annuities of $50,000-a-year for 20
years." The nerve! At any rate, all that's null and void because since Steve sent his e-mail, "Millionaire" awarded its first $500,000 prize Wednesday night.
Who wants to be a Nielsen family?
Beverly adds that the Sunday edition of "Millionaire" was "the
highest-ranked episode of any prime time game show on network television
since 'I've Got a Secret' finished eighth four times during the 1963-64
season. It is the first game show to crack the Nielsen top 5 since an episode of Jack Narz's 'Dotto' (the show where the quiz-show scandals, you'll recall) finished third during one week of its nighttime summer run on NBC in 1958. By the way, I spoke with Jack online last night and he's been watching
'Millionaire.' He thinks it will start a big round of copycats being
pitched in prime time." No doubt. And why not? ABC is now 2-for-3 in prime time game shows ("The Big Moment" fizzled), and its TV production arm is responsible for "Win Ben Stein's Money," a nighttime hit in cable.
Pick to click. If you somehow missed the first season of Chicago Hope (seen in repeats on Lifetime,
11 a.m. weekdays), you missed some of David E. Kelley's best work. Along with fabulous
performances by Mandy Patinkin, Adam Arkin, Peter MacNichol, Hector
Elizondo, E.G. Marshall, Roxanne Hart and Thomas Gibson,
fine actors all. Today Lifetime repeats the pilot episode. There's stunning stuff to be seen here; some
episodes are better than others of course, but it's all many cuts above the
Lahti-era Chicago Hope. --Laurel Krahn . . . See Laurel's other picks.
On this date...
In 1994, looking for a better
lead-in for the "X-Files" than Western "The Adventures
of Brisco County, Jr.," Fox gambles on a sci-fi show,
"M.A.N.T.I.S.," in which a paralyzed scientist fights
crime using the "Mechanically Automated NeuroTransmitter
Interactive System." The show is canceled after one season.
-- Tom Heald
Wednesday
The million-dollar debate. Even if everyone isn't watching ABC's game-show sensation "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?", it seems everyone is talking about it. TV Barn contributor Tom Heald, for one, thinks it's fishy that so many winners come from states that don't allow its residents to call into ABC's 900 number to qualify for the show. Why is that fishy? Because they're directed to a free 800 number for qualifying instead!
... Tom writes, "So without a $1.50 toll one could spend all
day on the phone getting faster and faster, even if the
pool of phone questions changes. By the rules, you're
limited to two calls per phone per day, but whose phone?
Your phone, your cell phone, the office phone, the fax,
the phone at the corner diner?"
... Yes, Tom, but they did get the questions right, so they must have something upstairs, no? Well, consider: "A crossword
puzzle writer whose work has allegedly appeared in the
New York Times and TV Guide gets a question wrong that
involves the origin of the word "Lego." Earlier in the
week, another contestant pulls out at the $16,000 level
because she's unsure whether the First Amendment
includes the "right to bear arms." People are using two
if not all three of their "lifelines" (allowed cheats)
on single questions.
"... Am I saying 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' is rigged?
Well, knowing how litigious the Disney company can
be ... no. But for a show supposedly based on the
suspense inherent in answering progressively harder
questions, there sure have been a lot of dumb mistakes."
... Meanwhile, reader J.R. Whalen attended a taping of "Millionaire" and writes, "It takes about an hour and a half to tape a half-hour show. Regis gets a little annoyed as the stop-tapes begin piling up (though he was guilty of a few flub-ups), but generally he keeps a light attitude. On one occasion, he flubbed up reading off the answer choices in the 'fastest finger' round and the whole question had to be thrown out. But the producers stop tape almost every time he commits a small stumble (not often) or something doesn't
look perfect (more often).
"... While waiting to be seated, I heard staffers saying that ABC Standards and
Practices is all over the production crew, probably in light of the high
profile of the game, the money involved and the post-scandal
atmosphere surrounding game shows. (Keep in mind that for decades after the quiz-show scandals, ABC had a $20,000 limit on how much money a contestant could win -- hence "The $20,000 Pyramid" -- and CBS had a
similar $25,000 limit at that time.) This is a whole new stratosphere of
prize money in terms of network game shows."
And Joanne Gerstner has a beef with the "lack of women
and diversity on the show. It seems like there are nine white guys and maybe
a woman thrown in. I've been close enough to make it as a contestant on
'Jeopardy!' that I know the producers want to get a good mix of
contestants to make everybody happy. What's the deal with the 'Millionaire'
people? Are they going to say that only white guys who know nothing (and one
white woman) make it on their show? And of course, don't even get me started on Regis' pregnant pauses before telling the contestants if they'd won ... almost makes me long for the shrilly voice of Kathie Lee to break the silence."
Pick to click.
Due South (TNT, 6pm) was always a quirky series, with episodes both
serious and silly (but always with plenty of good humor). Leslie Nielsen
returns as Sergeant Buck Frobisher, for much silliness on a train full of
mounties. I can't think of a more joyously absurd moment than when Fraser
(Paul Gross) leads a bunch of mounties in song (as the Bad Guys pump
sleeping gas into the train car)-- words don't do the scene justice. --Laurel Krahn . . . See Laurel's other picks.
On this date...
In 1991, consider it a "revenge
of the nerds" as Randy Newman wins an Emmy for composing
the music for "Cop Rock."
-- Tom Heald
Tuesday
Regis Philbin presents Doug Van Gundy of Marlington, W.V., with his quarter-mil in prize winnings Monday on "Good Morning America." The summer game show "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" continues through Aug. 29th. (Photo: ABC)
Somebody call "Guinness World Records." West Virginia fiddler Doug Van Gundy received what ABC calls the "Biggest One-Time Prize in History of Primetime Network Television" when he walked off with a reported $252,079 after Friday's edition of the summer ratings hit "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" But did you notice the fudge phrase "biggest one-time prize"? That's because Van Gundy's total prize may or may not be larger than St. Louis postal worker Teddy Nadler's take in 1957 when he was a contestant on "The $64,000 Challenge." Nadler won approximately $252,000 according to Brooks and Marsh, but that may be a rounded-off figure. At this late hour I can't confirm it. Either way, Nadler's accomplishment is still staggering. He cleaned up on the "$64,000 Question" spinoff, making so much dough he never worked another day in his life -- a scenario that won't enter into Van Gundy's mind, that's for sure.
Deal of the century. Steven Spielberg and Stephen King are hooking up on yet another ABC miniseries based on a King concept. And according to TV Barn contributor John Zipperer, it's a good thing one of them knows how to produce a hit for TV. ... Read Zippy's column
Pick to click.
Science fiction meets Shakespeare, yet again, in Forbidden Planet (TCM,
8pm, letterboxed). Walter Pidgeon, Anne Francis, Leslie Nielsen, and Robby
the Robot star in this classic retelling of The Tempest. One of the
best science fiction films of all time. Robby the Robot also stars in
The Invisible Boy
(TCM, 10pm), a film about a boy who tries to save the world (with the help
of a good robot). --Laurel
Krahn . . . See Laurel's other
picks.
Monday
The great DBS set-aside
How many channels did you have when public TV first came to your town? Five channels? Ten? Weren't those the days.
In an era of seemingly unlimited bandwidth, it's easy to forget what a large piece of the broadcast pie was once reserved for educational purposes.
Imagine what would happen today if 20 percent of your cable system were devoted to educational TV. It would be the equivalent of the whole VHF band made up of non-commercial, non-ratings-driven, non-brain-dead programming.
And that's exactly what the future holds for the 10 million U.S. subscribers to small-dish satellite TV.
After a seven-year delay, DirecTV and EchoSTAR are finally setting aside four percent of their bandwidth for educational or informational channels, as stipulated by the 1992 Cable Act. The new channels will be programmed by nonprofit providers chosen this fall in separate application drives at the two companies.
Those who lobbied for the set-aside call it a once-in-a-generation happening.
"This is definitely an opportunity to get some great public-interest programming out there," says Cheryl A. Leanza, deputy director of the Media Access Project. "It demonstrates that Congress is interested in seeing a public space where not just commercial tastes and the lowest common denominator prevail."
Those in the satellite industry aren't so sure.
"I hate to see any kind of bandwidth use that is lip-service only," says Jimmy Schaeffler, chairman of The Carmel Group. "To create programming that isn't being watched and therefore isn't educating a critical mass of consumers is wasting bandwidth."
Admittedly, the Federal Communications Commission's track record in public-interest matters is less than stellar. Many cities gave up on cable access years ago, and let's just say the Children's Television Act of 1997 has not been a raging success, either pedagogically or ratings-wise.
But don't write off the satellite set-aside just yet. I've spoken with some of the companies vying for the new channel space, and they've convinced me that this could be the start of a whole new tier of high-quality, niche-worthy networks, most of them never before offered to an American audience.
Perhaps the two most promising candidates are Internews, a supplier of independent news and cultural programming from around the world; and ITVS, a production house set up by Congress to supply programs for "underserved audiences." (ITVS co-produced the acclaimed documentary "The Farmer's Wife," which is re-airing on many public TV stations later this month.)
The two companies haven't decided if they'll apply separately for two channels or jointly for one. Both have hundreds of hours of high-quality programs in their libraries. Only a fraction of the Internews library has been seen in the U.S., and with notable exceptions like "The Farmer's Wife," ITVS has had a tough time getting PBS affiliates to take on its programs.
Kim Spencer, the managing director of Internews, said he wants to launch a fully interactive channel, one that uses WebTV or its equivalent to allow viewers to have a "one-on-one relationship" with the new network.
"There is this image that Americans are not very interested in the world and that becomes the justification for the networks to cut back the number of bureaus," says Mr. Spencer.
"We have CNN and Fox News and others who do a great job of bringing you breaking news. We want to be there before the crisis breaks out. Everyone came to Kosovo this year, but Internews has been in that region since the mid-80s. What's happening to the victims of Hurricane Mitch now? What's happening in Sudan? That's our mission -- to bring a global perspective to the American viewer."
Another network, Free Speech TV, is also applying for channel space. The Boulder-based programmer licenses its material from a number of independent producers and then finds a home for it on cable access. It's a part-time network and only in about 7 million homes. Getting a DBS set-aside channel would suddenly make it a huge player.
With series titles like "Queer Television" and "TV Guerrillas," Free Speech TV wears its progressive stripes proudly. But that, says president John Schwartz, is also the network's main selling point.
"The most common comment we get from viewers is they want more of this type of programming," says Schwartz. "It's hard to describe them demographically, but these are people who are looking for things they do not find on television currently."
Carriage, of course, is only one half of the programming puzzle. Money is the other. Because the Federal Communications Commission is only allowing nonprofits to apply for the set-aside, it appears foundations and corporate sponsors will be the ones ponying up the money for the new channels.
But is there enough money to go around?
For Internews, the answer appears to be yes, thanks to a grant it received last month from the Markle Foundation, which has begun a $100 million grantmaking campaign to increase the amount of content devoted to the public interest on cable, satellite and the Internet.
Free Speech TV is another matter. Schwartz thinks he can float a new 24-hour service on just $1 million a year, raising the money through a combination of pledge drives, national sponsors and maybe even on-air auctions.
"In terms of expense, it would be cheaper to run than the average local PBS affiliate," he says. "It just has to be in the early years."
Pick to click.
"The City on the Edge of Forever" (Sci-Fi, 7 and 11 p.m. Monday) is arguably the best
episode of Star Trek ever made. This one
tops many people's lists of best SF TV, it surely places in my top 20. It's
a tragic tale, really, with Joan Collins -- of all people -- playing a virtual
saint.
Tonight's episode of
Crusade (TNT, approx. 11 p.m.; may be delayed due to wrestling)
is a bittersweet tale of a different sort. About a different kind of
tragedy. It's a little heavyhanded, but I couldn't help but be moved
anyway. Crusade has been slow to catch on, most folks are only just
now starting to know and like the characters and the show. Which is a
shame, since unless a cable network steps up and makes a move ASAP, there
won't be more than two episodes after this one (for a total of 13). --Laurel Krahn . . . See Laurel's other picks.
Campaigns to save Crusade: Crusade for
Crusade and the Voice of the Resistance.
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Articles for week of August 30, 1999
Weekend
Picks to click.
"Livelyhood," the delightful PBS series that celebrates working in America, returns this weekend with a new program focusing on the work ethic of Americans. Check your local listings for exact airtime or follow this link to the "Livelyhood" site.
... Comedian Will Durst, who has held down more than 100 jobs in his life (including "audience wrangler" for the Jerry Lewis telethon), skips around the country interviewing ordinary Americans who are trying to adapt to an ever-changing job market. Well, maybe not all of them are so ordinary. The software guru who works 17-hour days and checks his e-mail while watching his favorite TV show -- which happens to be "The Price Is Right" -- is a real find. So is the Girl Scout who used telemarketing to sell hundreds of boxes of cookies. But Durst also visits his dad, a charming fellow, and he goes back to the iron foundry where he worked seven harrowing months to make enough money to buy a Volkswagen -- and his freedom.
... Barely a minute goes by when "Livelyhood" isn't capturing something poignant, insightful or inspirational. And the visual gags nearly always hit their target, like a series of mock motivational messages ("True fulfillment is outlined in your employee handbook"). If PBS had more shows like this, Congress wouldn't be holding up its funding, that's for sure.
Ebert and friends.
In a new publicity photo for his long-running syndicated TV show, Chicago Sun-Times film critic Roger Ebert is positioned on the picture's right-hand edge. Most of the picture is taken up by the marquee of the famous Chicago Theatre in the background. It takes a moment before you realize that Ebert isn't standing to the side to show off the theater. He's where he always used to stand -- or sit -- in various publicity shots taken in the last 23 years. The space next to Ebert is where his late partner, Gene Siskel, used to be.
... This weekend the franchise that bore the two critics' names, "Siskel & Ebert," goes away, replaced by "Roger Ebert & the Movies." Continuing the format that was instituted after Siskel's untimely death in February, Ebert will discuss the week's new releases with a guest critic. Check your local station for air times of this syndicated show or use this handy finder at the ebert-movies.com website.
Also:
Turner Classic Movies salutes the late Japanese director Akira Kurosawa with the U.S. premiere of "Madadayo," the 1993 film that was Kurosawa's last, at 8 p.m. Friday. In September TCM will show 17 Kurosawa films, whose masterworks inspired a raft of American movies including "Star Wars" and
"The Magnificent Seven."
On the other end of the quality spectrum, those who can't get enough of serial killers can watch the disturbingly titled docudrama "Happy Face Murders" at 8 p.m. Sunday on Showtime. Ann-Margret and her abusive boyfriend are booked for the murder of a local woman based on a strange phone tip. Things get weirder when anonymous notes begin showing up from the real killer, who appends smiley faces to his messages.
On this date...
In 1966, geeks at the Tricon sci-fi
convention in Cleveland find the meaning of life at the
first public showing of "Star Trek." They see pilot
episodes "The Cage" and "Where No Man Has Gone Before."
Saturday, September 4: In 1972, three game shows debut
this morning on CBS: Wink Martindale's "Gambit," Jack
Barry's "The Joker's Wild," and "The (New) Price Is
Right" with Bob Barker. They're all hits.
Sunday, September 5: In 1997, after eighteen years,
Joan Lunden says "Goodbye, America" ending one of the
longest gigs in morning television history. Just
remember folks, Joan Lunden didn't jump, she was pushed.
-- Tom Heald
Thursday (with READER MAIL)
Thanks a million! That's what ABC should be saying right about now to Michael Davies, executive producer of its stunningly successful summer series "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire." The two-week run gave ABC its best finish in the Nielsens since Oscars week, helped it to three straight wins in the adults 18-49 demographic -- something it hasn't done in years -- and ensured another run of "Millionaire" during the November sweep. I collared Davies on Tuesday night. He had just stepped off a flight and hadn't heard the big news: The top four programs in television last week were "Millionaire" broadcasts. ... Read my story in Thursday's Kansas City Star
Jerry Lawler interviews a potential voter during a recent WWF telecast.
From Jesse to Jerry. So which wrestling icon will be next to step into the political ring? It's Jerry "The King" Lawler. Yep, the longtime grappler who once sparred famously with Andy Kaufman on "Late Night with David Letterman" is running for mayor of Memphis. More recently, Lawler has been supplying color commentary on the World Wrestling Federation's various telecasts, which may give him the political edge he needs -- after all, the young male fans of the WWF are normally hard to pull to the polls. ... Read Rob Johnson's profile of Lawler plus this story and this story from Kriste Goad in the Memphis Commercial Appeal.
Caustic Costas. Remember that item that appeared here four weeks back about Jay Leno getting cranky at a Twin Cities station that delays "The Tonight Show"? That's nothing compared to something Bob Costas once did at the NBC affiliate in Dallas-Ft. Worth. At the time Costas was still host of "Later," and the station, KXAS, had recently bumped the program deep into the overnight. TV Barn reader Ed Dravecky writes, "Bob Costas pulled a similar stunt -- only the folks at KXAS had Bob live on the set during their 10 p.m. newscast, so the audience heard the whole thing. Frozen smiles all around for Jane, Mike, and the rest of the news team."
Beg away! Sue Trowbridge just endured another August pledge month from her local PBS station. She writes, "It was showing such worthy programs as 'Styx: Return to the Paradise Theater,' 'The Three Irish Tenors' and 'Andrew Lloyd Webber's 50th Birthday Celebration.' It's like a slightly more highbrow VH1 with begging breaks!"
Cue the Doobies. Reader MIchael Jones writes, "Perhaps I'm a bit too conditioned by the notion of having instant stock quotes, but I think it would be helpful for late-night viewers to have access to instant, minute-by-minute ratings. Ideally David Letterman could start it off by having a conspicuous ratings ticker just behind him during the show, mounted on the New York faux skyline, allowing his fans to know with certainty which portions of his show are well received, what needs some work, and what basically sucks. If the show is going especially well some nights, Dave could simply cash his chips in early and send everyone home (or vice-versa, extending the show until it hits paydirt). Of course, there might be some logistics problems associated doing this (tape delays, unforgiving time zones, etc.)." True -- but it would make a great bit for the show.
Good riddance, Jamie. Reader J. Angelo sends along this nasty-gram concerning the recent departure of ABC executive Jamie Tarses: "I hold her responsible for the demise of both 'Muppets Tonight' and 'Cupid.' Both were superior shows cursed by bad scheduling. My whole rant on 'Muppets' has been up
on the web for a few years. ABC still needs to fire more people."
Pick to click. So you watched two straight weeks of that Regis Philbin game show and are convinced you're smarter than the average bear. You even knew how much saliva the average human produces in a day. Clearly you're ready for the advanced course: tonight's episode of "Nightline in Primetime: Brave New World" (ABC, 10 p.m.). In what may be the most ambitious episode of this summer series on science and technology, Robert Krulwich tries to explain Fermi's paradox (albeit with the aid of a puppeteer) and what it would mean if scientists were able to find life elsewhere in the universe -- even if it were no larger than the head of a pin.
Also, a July repeat of "Late Show with David Letterman" (CBS, 10:35 p.m.) features guests Calista Flockhart and Jack Hanna. Wherein Flockhart tells the press to kiss her skinny white something or other.
-- Laurel Krahn . . . Check out
Laurel's other picks.
On this date...
In 1990, Fox decides that "Parker
Lewis Can't Lose." Corin Nemec stars as the "Ferris
Bueller-ish" teen for whom everything is "not a problem."
-- Tom Heald
ALSO: Read about the televised mess that is Pax's "Treasures in Your Home"
Wednesday
Andy Richter and Conan O'Brien enjoy the company of raconteur Richard Harris during a 1997 interview on "Late Night." (NBC/Lesly Weiner)
Andy sets sail. By the time Andy Richter finally got around to announcing his departure from "Late Night with Conan O'Brien," it had been a closely-guarded secret inside "Late Night" for six months. O'Brien considers himself lucky to have held onto his talented sidekick for what will be -- by the time Richter leaves in May 2000 -- seven TV seasons. In this article, O'Brien shares his thoughts about losing Richter and what plans, if any, he has for an Andy-less "Late Night." ... Read my article from Wednesday's Kansas City Star
Pick to click.
The final (in all likelihood) episode of Crusade (TNT, 10 p.m.) looks like one
of the best. Barring a miracle, this is a bittersweet end for a
series that had a lot of potential.
Before They Were Lieutenants: Both S. Epatha Merkerson (who'd later play Lt. Van Buren on Law &
Order) and James McDaniel (who'd later play Lt. Fancy on NYPD Blue)
guest star in an early, heartrending episode of Law & Order
(A&E, 11pm, 3am). -- Laurel
Krahn . . . Check out Laurel's
other picks.
On this date...
In 1949, television's first
detective series, "Martin Kane, Private Eye," makes its
debut on NBC. William Gargan stars as the smooth,
wisecracking operator working closely with the guys
at the local cop shop.
-- Tom Heald
Tuesday
The last "Crusade." Sorry to say but it looks like the end of the road already for J. Michael Straczynski's once highly-anticipated follow-up to "Babylon 5." TV Barn contributor John Zipperer writes, "Given another season or two, it could well have developed into a strong and exciting series ... but Straczynski ran out of time and the network ran out of patience." ... Read Zippy's column
Pick to click.
Maybe I'm going through withdrawal from "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire," but I can't believe there's still three weeks of reruns to go until the fall season finally arrives. The only networks not making us wait are Pax and UPN, the latter of which already has launched two Monday night sitcoms and, of course, That Wrestling Show. Tonight, just to break the monotony, UPN airs "Summer Music Mania '99" (7 p.m.), a get-together of the year's favorite flavors in sunny San Diego. Featured are 'N Sync, Britney Spears, 98 Degrees, Christina Aguilera, LFO, B*Witched, 702 and Tyrese.
Also, "Sports Night" fans don't need to bother checking out tonight's rerun -- it won't be there. ABC has pulled the low-rated comedy until next month, when there will be new episodes to put on.
On this date...
-- Tom Heald
In 1981, NBC's iron-clad 30-year
contract with "Mr. Television," Milton Berle, expires.
After his show, "Texaco Star Theater," ended in the
'50s, the network gave Uncle Miltie $6 million to keep
him from appearing on competing networks.
Monday
The overnights are back! With the new fall TV season already one week old -- and yes, UPN counts -- TV Barn is back with your Nielsen overnight ratings from the 46 metered markets covering more than 60 percent of the country. View last night's overnights ... read about the ratings and what they mean
Contestant Michael Rosenthal and host Regis Philbin at a taping last week of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire." (Photo: Maria Melin/ABC)
For want of a penny ... We know what it was like to watch that agonizing, frustrating final broadcast of ABC's instant phenom, "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire," which aired Sunday night. But imagine what it was like to be there in the audience, silently pulling for the contestants -- and even getting asked by the contestant which coin is the only one where the portrait looks to the right?
Mara Reinstein, an editorial assistant at Broadcasting & Cable magazine, was there. She writes:
Contrary to popular belief, the hottest ticket in New York City on Saturday night wasn't the Yankees game or The Lion King on Broadway. It was a ticket to 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire,' and I had one.
To get an idea of what a coup this was, consider the following: On Friday, a
woman from ABC called me at work to confirm that I was on the list. She
reminded me to be there at 5 p.m., two hours before taping, to pick up
our tickets. "You might want to be there a little early, just to make sure you get in," she said. So to play it safe, my friend and I got to the designated corner outside Sony Studios at 4:30.
It was already a mob scene. Much to our chagrin, there was no "guest list." Tickets were being distributed on a first-come, first-served basis -- and we were Nos. 82 and 83 for seats inside "Millionaire's" tiny studio. By 5 p.m., the numbers were all gone. By 5:15, the frazzled production assistants were telling people who had numbers in mid-hundreds to pack it in.
At 6:40, warmup: An earnest comedian comes out and
entertains, then introduces the executive producer, Michael Davies. He thanks
us for coming, then announces the Golden Rule: No Talking. Even
whispering is off-limits. In fact, he asks that friends and family of the 10
contestants to get up and sit behind them so there won't be any possibility they could send signals down to the floor.
(Which seems impossible given the "Chessmaster 3000"
lighting for the questions, no?) The contestants are introduced -- including
David Honea, the returnee, the man who was eliminated for giving the correct answer to a question, only to go home, look up his answer, call Davies back in New York and get another chance. Finally, out comes host Regis Philbin, introduced by Davies -- with a straight face -- as "the man who saved ABC television."
The game begins. There is a rollover contestant already in the Hot Seat, having been plucked from obscurity the night before. His name is Doug and we learn that he is a minister who needs money to adopt a child. We root for Doug. He breezes effortlessly through the questions until he is asked:
"What is the only coin
in which the portrait faces right"?
Perplexed, he asks if the president is
actually physically turned to the right, or he looks right according a
person looking at the coin. Regis smugly turns to his right and says, "See?
I'm turned to the right."
Immediately, the producer cuts and rushes to
Regis. Seems Regis is mistaken -- the president isn't turned to the right.
While all this is going on, the audience members race through their pockets
and purses looking for spare change to see what the answer is, myself
included. It only takes a second before our entire row realizes that it's the
penny.
Five minutes later, the taping resumes and the question is
reread. This time, Regis turns to the correct side (his left). Doug is still
perplexed. He asks us for help. Yes! my moment in the sun! Lifeline time! I
press the button confidently for "D. Penny." Only 55% of the audience picks the
right answer -- but it's still a vast plurality. No other answer comes close.
Doug is still perplexed. He's silent
for five minutes, while the drumming music plays in the background.
Meanwhile, a cameraman hovers literally inches from the face of his
agonizing wife, who sits on the edge of the second row behind her husband.
Amazingly, Doug blows another lifeline. He calls a friend who immediately -- without checking his pockets, for Pete's sake! -- claims that the correct answer is the nickel. Doug is still perplexed. He uses up his final lifeline on the "50/50," in which two wrong answers are removed from the board. More air time passes. Regis makes a joke about needing to get to Mass soon. Finally, Doug goes with the penny. As soon as he says this, the audience breathes a sigh of relief. Doug leaves with $32,000.
The next contestant is Paul Locharenkal, a young man from New Jersey whose name takes Regis endless blown takes to get right. So Paul is up and he's looking good. He
makes candid (perhaps too candid) jokes before answering the questions, at one point saying that he feels like "I'm on the toilet and America's watching me." Paul wants to be a comedian someday. He chats with audience members in between takes.
Paul asks for an audience lifeline
on a relatively simple question: the name of the mountain detailed in the
recent book "Into Thin Air." The majority of the audience picks it, and he
goes with it ("The audience is always right!" he says). At this point, I'm starting to wonder why we don't get a percentage of
the contestant's final take. I mean, he would've been out of luck on "Jeopardy!"
Paul gets stumped on a question about a well-known cellist -- actually, not
that well-known, since few people in the studio, including Regis, knows the
answer. However, Paul can't seem to take Regis' check, shake his hand, and
leave the studio in a neat and orderly fashion. Poor Paul has to practice
losing gracefully five times before he nails it.
More than two hours have now passed, and the audience is growing restless.
People start heckling the comedian. Grown men plead for free T-shirts. A
group of teen boys in the front row get up, wave to Regis, and leave. But
there's still one more contestant to go: David Honea. His wife diligently
moves to aisle seat in the second row. Regis leaves for a brief period, then
signs David's would-be mock checks. When the taping starts again, we're
suddenly pumped: It's the last contestant--could he really do it? Alas, David stops at a measly $125,000. Regis consoles him with one of his displays of mock frustration: "I'm so
upset you didn't win the money!"
It's been two-and-a-half hours. The audience chants, "We want T shirts!"
We're not successful. Finally, all three contestants smother Regis with
their mock checks and tape the final moment of the show. After three takes,
the producer tells us to sit tight because "we want to show you what
would've happened if someone had won a million dollars." Suddenly, barrels of confetti pour down from the
heavens. Nice, but anti-climatic -- and I'm sure the three losers on stage feel great watching what could've been.
It's 9:30 p.m. I've never been so exhausted from just sitting on a bench. But,
I have to admit, I'm already looking forward to the show's
return in November. And, yeah, that's my final answer.
FROM THE WIRES ... Honea returns to quiz show, doubles money
Pick to click. Tony Shalhoub, Dr. Joyce Brothers, Dyan Cannon, and Barry White guest star in the famous "knee-pit" episode of Ally McBeal (Fox, 9 p.m). Ally and John defend a man accused of murdering his wife and cutting off
her hand; Billy and Georgia defend a man who was fired for a combover; Fish and Ling are having problems with their
relationship and explore that heretofore little-known erogenous zone. And you can't help but smile when Mr. Original Slow Jamz himself shows up toward episode's end. -- Laurel Krahn
ALSO: Read one of several pans of UPN's "The Parkers"
On this date...
In 1992, the Emmy for Outstanding
Variety Program goes to "The Tonight Show Starring
Johnny Carson" in a final tribute to the retired
king.
-- Tom Heald
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Articles for week of Sept. 6, 1999
Weekend
Are you old school? BET is
The financial press trumpeted the news of Black Entertainment Television's
new Internet portal Aug. 11. But there was another announcement
that day that may have more impact than word of the latest Web site du jour.
At the same press conference where BET.com was introduced, BET
Holdings Chairman and CEO Robert Johnson said he'd like to start up a
spinoff to BET aimed at black families later this year, provided he got
subscribers and/or a financial commitment upfront.
The second BET, or BET II, is the company's response to a call for a black
family channel made earlier by AT&T Broadband & Internet Services President
and CEO Leo Hindery Jr., BET's chief investor.
Mr. Johnson had few plans for BET II, except that it would be an analog
channel and would reach kids in the morning, women the rest of the day. And
unlike current spinoffs BET on Jazz and BET Movies/Starz!3, which are still
struggling for carriage, BET II would have a big launch. Mr. Johnson said 20
million would be a nice round number to start with.
But read between the lines of Mr. Johnson's comments and it appears his No.
1 concern is making sure someone other than himself isn't handed that second
general-interest channel. For if that were to happen, BET's uncontested
20-year grip on its niche audience would start to loosen.
At separate times in the press conference, Mr. Johnson said cable operators
weren't interested in a second general-interest channel for black
viewers--but if they were, they'd be crazy to have anyone other than BET
launch it.
But judging from the way BET has handled its first general-purpose
channel, I've come to the opposite conclusion: That handing a second African
American-oriented channel to a rival group--and there are several in
formation--could be the best thing that happened to BET and the audience it
purports to serve.
Mr. Johnson has always been the first to say he is in cable TV to make
money--and BET has achieved that goal, handsomely. According to Paul Kagan
Associates, last year BET posted $84.5 million in operating cash flow on
$157.1 million in revenues.
However, Mr. Johnson has built his empire in the absence of direct
competition. He has had an entire market almost entirely to himself, a
luxury no other pioneering cable network enjoys any longer (with the
possible exception of The Weather Channel).
And it shows. Look at BET's schedule, a mix of stale sitcoms,
familiar-looking videos and ultra-cheap originals. Back in the 1980s, this is
how all cable networks were run. But now the big channels like Lifetime, USA
and MTV are shelling out hundreds of millions every year in program
development and marketing. They have to--the upstarts that are challenging
them are spending like mad, too.
Not BET. It's still old school--and not in the most flattering use of that
term. BET still fills up its afternoons with music videos, which cost nothing.
And while a just and merciful God would see to it that ``Sparks'' departed
UPN never to be seen again, it is a nightly staple on BET.
BET's approach to programming costs is starting to make it some enemies in
Hollywood. The American Federation of Television & Radio Artists has told
its members not to appear on BET's ``ComicView'' because the network will
not raise the pitiful $150 fee (with no residuals) to comedians who appear
on the show. (BET retaliated by moving the show from Los Angeles to
Atlanta.)
One program that truly sets BET apart is ``BET Tonight with Tavis Smiley,''
a show with bargain-basement production values but an outstanding host. Mr.
Smiley has an unmatched interview style and a well-earned reputation for
integrity.
In fairness, Mr. Johnson has been able to get away with his penny-pinching
because the industry has let him. But the changes of the past three years
have raised the ante for all cable programmers.
Mr. Johnson's response has been to announce another inexpensive series,
``Live from L.A.,'' as well as a series of movie adaptations from the
Arabesque romance-novel line.
None of this suggests that BET is willing to commit the resources to
producing high-quality family content.
Nor is Mr. Johnson's stance on a couple of family-related issues very
encouraging. BET is the one cable entertainment channel that refuses to go
along with the voluntary TV ratings code. And it's one of the few to accept
ads from hard liquor companies.
Viacom's Sumner Redstone likes to say that content is king, which may or
may not be true. But in BET's court, content is the unappreciated jester.
A challenge from a well-financed rival could change all that. And as
Arsenio Hall used to say: It's time.
Thursday: READER MAIL
TiVo travails.
You know that personal video recorders are
starting to hit critical mass when one of my readers
sends me complaint mail about them. Mark Rich writes, "I
have a ReplayTV recorder. It's one of those new gizmos
that records TV programs onto hard drives. I like to use
it to record 'Late Show' every night. To record a show
on Replay TV (and its competitor TiVo) you select the
program off its program grid. The computer gets the info
off the grid and sets the machine to record. The problem
is that Letterman's show is listed as being 60 minutes
of running time when, as you know, the actual broadcast
length is 62.5 minutes. As a result I always lose the
last two minutes of the show. The recording always ends
during the previous commercial break. I realize that the
closing usually isn't much more then Dave saying
good-bye, but it's still annoying. Couldn't CBS
officially list the show at 63 minutes?" You're asking
this of a network that doesn't even have a Website for
the press?
One cheer for BET.
Lang Whitaker writes, "I totally agree with your piece
on BET and its collection of awful programming, but with
one exception: While there is a bit of overlap between
BET and MTV, BET devotes its entire afternoons to
videos, and this has not gone unnoticed in the
African-American community. Go into any hip-hop record
company office or urban record store, and it's a safe
bet that BET will be on the TV. While MTV spins the
occasional Puff Daddy or Jay-Z song, BET shows many
rap/hip-hop videos that never come close to getting a
taste of MTV's precious airtime. For instance, rapper
Cool Breeze's song 'Watch For the Hook,' was number one
on Billboard's rap chart for several weeks during the
spring, and the video, appropriately, was in heavy
rotation on BET. Five weeks after the song first hit
number one -- and nearly two months after the video
began airing on BET -- MTV finally showed the video
during a 'new music' marathon weekend, and then they
quickly banished the video from their rotation.
"... If nothing else, BET has established itself as
the place for urban music videos. And with urban
music's market share growing (last year urban music
accounted for $4 billion of the music industry's $12
billion total), maybe BET isn't as bad off,
programming-wise, as it appears." Perhaps, but don't you
think that with all that airtime devoted to free
programming, BET could step up and pay actual cash money
for some decent shows in prime time?
Jerrymandered.
Darren Raymond writes, "You posted a reader's theory on
syndicated 'Seinfeld' running JFK-related episodes: 'If
we can be shown a scene that is a takeoff of JFK's
assassination then I think it's safe to say that the JFK
Jr. episode will be re-run in short order.' If only that
were true. But I'd wager that 'The Contest' won't be
running in syndication any time soon -- not because it
features John-John as a pseudo-character, but because
it's not one of the 20 episodes they keep running over
and over and ...
"... Forgive me if you've addressed this issue before,
but do you have any explanation for why syndicators feel
the need to do this? I swear I've seen the final season
'Seinfeld' episodes three times each in the last few
months. I can't for the life of me figure out why they
wouldn't want to run each episode in order. It's
especially annoying when they do this with drama series
that actually have continuing subplots. I realize as
life's problems go, this one is inconsequential, but I
feel they're trying to make me hate 'Seinfeld.'"
On this date...
In 1950, "The Hank McCune Show"
becomes the first sitcom to use a laugh track. Says
Variety, "Whether this (innovation) induces a jovial
mood in home viewers is yet to be determined, but the
practice may have unlimited possibilities if it's spread
to include canned peals of hilarity, thunderous ovations
and gasps of sympathy." Nearly half a century later,
these tracks will supply the only laughter for some
shows on the United Paramount Network.
-- Tom Heald
Wednesday: VIACOM EATS CBS

CBS a Paramount concern. I spent most of Tuesday getting my fall previews written, so most of the Wall Street chatter surrounding the $35 billion stock swap that made CBS a Viacom entity was lost on me. (But did that stop me from commenting about the merger to the CBS Radio News? No!)
Ever since the federal government ruled last month that it would allow TV duopolies, the combining of CBS and Viacom has been the buzz. After all, the two companies were a good match before the duopoly rule change. But the fact that both owned TV stations in most of the country's largest markets was always a huge impediment.
Now CBS-Viacom can keep all or nearly all of the stations in the group and stay under the feds' 35 percent ownership cap (meaning that one owner cannot have stations that reach more than 35 percent of the country). Since the duopolies, by definition, overlap each others' signals, their reach doesn't increase percentage-wise. And anyway, the government is expected to raise the 35 percent bar to 50 percent Any Day Now.
... The deal in a nutshell? Viacom wanted to be a major broadcast player and CBS makes them that. CBS wanted to be a major cable player and Viacom makes them that. You can't say "win-hyphen" too many times about this deal. ... Read all about the Viacom-CBS deal
Dave will rave. Here's one immediate upside to combining the Paramount and CBS stations: In Detroit, where CBS had to beat a retreat to Channel 62 following the defection of its affiliate to Fox in '94, Paramount owns Channel 50, which like all the other Par stations is a UPN affiliate. Doesn't sound like much of an improvement to make that a CBS? Not until you consider that Channel 50 has two things Channel 62 doesn't -- a newscast, and the Detroit Red Wings rights. That's a huge boost for all CBS programs and especially David Letterman's young-guy-friendly show in a top 10 market.
Quote of the day. Harrison Wyman picked up this remark from CBS CEO Mel Karmazin at the end of the press conference in which he and Sumner Redstone -- or as I call him, Viacom Dios -- announced the merger. Observing the swarm of photographers around him, Karmazin was heard to say, "You're from CBS. What the hell are you doing in the back?"
On this date...
In 1973, "Emergency!," "I Dream
of Jeannie," "My Favorite Martian," "Lassie," "Mission :
Impossible," "Star Trek," and "The Addams Family" all
lend their names and some of their voices to Saturday
morning cartoons. Who says there are no new ideas?
-- Tom Heald
Tuesday
Money to "Pern." ``Dragon Riders of Pern'' is finally coming to TV -- not as a miniseries or movie but as a TV series. TV Barn contributor John Zipperer says the highlight will be the appearance of spectacular, computer-generated dragons. "Fans
with deep knowledge of all the secrets of Pern aren't going to be troubled by the fact that they might know how a particular Pern storyline ends -- they'll be so caught up in the sheer wonder of finally seeing Pern's dragons in flight." ...
Read Zippy's column.
An early "SportsCenter" set. (ESPN.com)
Pick to click. It's a good thing other people at my newspaper write about sports on TV, because if I had to do it very often, I'd soon give away one of my deepest, darkest secrets: I love ESPN. Unconditionally. Since it signed on in 1979, I have been there for ESPN, and it has been there for me. "SportsCenter" is my "NewsHour With Jim Lehrer" and "The Sports Reporters" my "Meet the Press." I know more about baseball announcer Joe Morgan than I do about George W. Bush. I have never dined at Elaine's or Alex Patout's -- but I have eaten at an ESPN Zone. For millions of devoted (mostly male) viewers, ESPN remains in a league of its own, with its innovative on-screen graphics, a first-rate collection of sports packages and its devotion to the written word ("SportsCenter" has probably created more catch phrases than "Saturday Night Live"). "ESPN's 20th Anniversary," a three-hour look back at the network's history, starts at 7 tonight.
On this date...
In 1979, the Total Sports Network
is thrown onto the air, kicks off, starts its engines,
tees off, serves, etc. Soon to be known as ESPN.
Monday, Sept. 6: In 1980, "There she is, Miss
America" (Susan Powell of Oklahoma), but there he isn't!
Bert Parks, fired by the pageant committee for being too
old, has been replaced by former TV "Tarzan" Ron Ely. At
the time, Parks is 66, Ely is a mere 42. (And how old is
Regis Philbin today?) Parks will return to host one more
time in 1990.
-- Tom Heald
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Articles for week of Sept. 13, 1999
Wednesday-Thursday
Digital cable arrives. With DirecTV and Dish Network continuing to have record sales months, it has begun to dawn on the nation's cable operators that satellite TV will be more than a rural phenomenon. So now they're striking back with digital cable, an optional service for channel-hungry customers who want more than 100 choices and are tired of driving to the video store to see the latest movies. Time Warner Cable, the nation's top system operator, announced Wednesday that digital cable has arrived in Kansas City, one of its biggest system holdings. ... Read my report in Wednesday's Kansas City Star (and see related article under Monday, below)
The Emmys reconsidered. After I had a night's sleep to think it over, I decided that David E. Kelley probably did earn those two Emmys for best drama and best comedy (though he could've stood some stiffer competition in the latter category). Yes, "The Sopranos" went through the same phenomenon every freshman series does -- nominated often, rarely a winner -- but was its unimpressive Sunday showing attributable to other factors as well? ... Read my essay in Wednesday's Kansas City Star
Sci-fi's commitment to diversity. Hard to believe, but there are still fearmongers out there concerned that women are getting empowered at men's expense on shows like "Xena: Princess Warrior." What a crock, writes TV Barn contributor John Zipperer in his weekly column. All in all, the SF genre has many noteworthy examples of diversity, and that benefits everyone and hurts no one (other than perhaps the feelings of bigots). "Science fiction is popular not only
because it is entertaining ... It has shown many people who have
been marginalized that they have a place, a role to play in fulfilling their dreams and contributing to the larger good." ... Read Zippy's column
The readers are always right. Answers poured in to two queries posted on TV Barn earlier this week. About that guy (pictured at right) who hosted Excite.Com's webcast for four hours Sunday night -- without even so much as a station break -- Mark Jeffries pointed me to this L.A. Times article identifying the host as Scott Herriott of "Internet Tonight" on ZDTV, which is arguably seen in fewer homes than Excite.Com webcasts.
... As for the search for the ESPN.Com webmaster, several readers -- Kevin Desjardins and Cheryl Miller were the first -- pointed me to this feedback form tucked away under a link called "Other." ... And it appears I'm not the only one completely befuddled by ESPN.Com's redesign. Gadi Schultz writes, "I use AOL's browser (which is pretty cruddy anyway) and the main part of the page is two or three screens to the right. I also looked for an e-mail address to complain, but couldn't find one." ... Ted M writes, "Even though the ESPN main page renders correctly on my browser, the redesign is poor -- current headlines have now been moved to a narrow column on the right, where each one typically takes 3-5 lines to display. They're very, very hard to read. So you're not missing much."
... And Derryl Murphy writes, "Man, did you ever hit a hot button about ESPN and their website. I've played Fantasy Baseball with them for three years now. This year I was invited to play in a second league sometime after I had signed up for the first. They offered a special deal for multi-league players -- but do you think I could ever get into that page without being booted out again? I finally paid the full freight, figuring that maybe they'd answer my e-mails after the start-of-season rush ended. Fat chance. Not a word, and it's not like that site is easy to negotiate. The design is a joke, so that I often feel like Jack Nicholson trying to find my way through the garden maze in The Shining."
TV Barn on the radio. So you missed me holding forth on the CBS-Viacom deal on the CBS Radio news? Ah, don't worry -- what's a sound bite among friends? ... I held forth last week on the death of Allen Funt on the NPR program "On the Media." Those with RealAudio can click here to hear the broadcast -- the Funt segment is on Clip 3, at about the 14:30 mark.
Tuesday
New contest: FIND THE ESPN.COM WEBMASTER. To commemorate the 20th anniversary of ESPN, the cable network's Internet affiliate ESPN.Com -- part of the GO Network, as if you need even be told -- got freshened up, added a new logo and unveiled itself last Tuesday. Unfortunately, the artisans at GO appear not to have tested their layout on a standard-issue iMac running Internet Explorer 4.5. The result, as you can see from this triple-screen-shot composite on your right, is a span of whitespace big enough to put your head through.
Good netizen that I am, I thought I'd alert the ESPN.Com webmaster to this situation. So I looked around the site for an e-mail address to send my bug report. And looked. After scouring the premises for a feedback address -- one located outside ESPN.Com's paying "insider" area -- I finally attached the screen shots to an e-mail and directed it at webmaster@espn.go.com and support@espn.go.com. Whereupon my e-mail did a past-tense version of go-dot-com: It went ... and then came back.
No webmaster? No support? What kind of Mickey Mouse operation is this? Oh, wait a minute ... At any rate, if you know how to get in touch with somebody inside the recesses of Disney's Internet division, and you think they might actually give a rip whether users of 1998's best-selling personal computer are being frustrated by their sports site's new design, then pass me their e-mail. I'll send you graft. I think I still have that critics' tape of "Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel" with the story about Fox Sports Net.
Everything old made new again
A remarkable facsimile of my new digital decoder box. (Pioneer Electronics)
The future of cable TV recently arrived at my house in
the form of a digital decoder box. At least I thought I
was going to be looking at the future. But since
plugging in the new box, I've been experiencing
something I hadn't counted on: The shock of the old.
As I flip through the two dozen or so offerings on my
digital tier, I'm surprised how many of these "new"
channels are completely clotted with reruns. Some of
them, I'm convinced, haven't been on American TV since
"Batman" went into syndication.
On Ovation, which is clearly the cream of the crop, I
can watch Nat "King" Cole jamming with jazz legends.
On Discovery People, David Frost interviews Liz and
Dick, circa 1970. Encore Westerns has "The Lone
Ranger" and "Wanted: Dead or Alive." Encore True
Stories might as well be called "That 70's
Movie-of-the-Week Channel." Dick Clark looks almost as
young hosting "The $20,000 Pyramid" on Game Show
Network as he does now. And why does it seem every time
I flip to ESPN Classic I'm treated to either "Home Run
Derby" or "Sports Challenge"?
Actually, I kind of enjoy some of these old-new
channels. But from a business point of view, you wonder
why they're even here. After all, the real money in
digital cable isn't in these basic cable add-ons but in
those 40 or so pay-per-view channels that come with the
box.
Digital cable also adds more multiplex premium channels
to your analog lineup, so many that I'm reminded of that
old shtick about buying cigarettes ("Honey, is the
movie on HBO or Showtime? Signature or Zone? East Coast
or West Coast?").
The only conclusion I can draw is that the channels with
the 40-year-old reruns are loss leaders, channels for
the sake of channels. More is better. Works for the
satellite companies, doesn't it?
That got me to thinking. If this tier is going to lose
money regardless, why not stock it with channels that
might actually be fun to watch for a while?
Such as ...
- The Late Greats Channel: Sony is repackaging its old game shows and soap operas. So why doesn't somebody do this with late night talk shows? The Late Greats Channel would only air programs from before 1972, also known as the B.C.E. era (Before Carson Emigrated): Jerry Lester and Dagmar, Steve Allen, Joey Bishop, Regis Philbin, Dick Cavett, Merv Griffin, Skitch Henderson, Johnny Mann.
Theme weeks would celebrate ubiquitous guests (Debbie Reynolds, Zsa Zsa Gabor, etc.). Every Friday night at 11:00 the entire collection of surviving "Jack Paar Show" kinescopes would be played start to finish. At 11:14 they'd be played again.
- Discovery Random Play: As the number of Discovery-owned channels grows, it becomes increasingly difficult to tell them apart. Discovery Random Play would solve that problem and at the same time logically extend Bethesda's brand strategy. Individual segments would be taken, more or less out of context, from the millions of documentaries and specials in Discovery's vault and then spun willy-nilly in a jukebox format. Coming out of a commercial break, viewers wouldn't know what's coming next: a terrifying TLC twister, animals devouring their kill on "Wild Discovery," Travel Channel bungee jumps, etc.
During the commercial-free "Ritalin Rush Hour," excerpts would be shortened to their most intense portions, rotating every 60 to 90 seconds with a continuous, heart-pounding score. This could prove to be a breakout hit among viewers who sat through "The Blair Witch Project" without losing their lunch.
- The Local Channel: Remember all those locally-produced morning shows, kiddie shows and noon shows that used to play in your market? The Local Channel would air them all day long. Stations would be selected by the toss of a dart. Boise one hour, Pittsburgh the next -- don't worry, they'll all look the same. At night, programming shifts to "PM Magazine" and "Bowling for Dollars" clones. Spots would be sold only to car dealers.
- The Tipper Channel: This subversive experiment would be stocked with only the most violent and grim programming from the so-called golden age of the 1950's. "The Untouchables" would be a nightly staple, along with "The George Gobel Show" (a weekly exploration of the miseries of marriage), Arthur Godfrey (that should put a scare in the kids), pro boxing and -- of course! -- pro wrestling. The Tipper Channel would bring the whole family together, as kids ask their parents, "And you think today's TV is bad?"
- K-Tel-evision: I spent hours of my youth watching countless commercials for K-Tel albums and Ronco accessories. TV Land might get around to showing one or two of them, but I'm envisioning 20 or 25 of these ads every hour, round the clock. To help pay for the channel, K-Tel-evision could sell spot time -- on the condition, of course, that the spots be two minutes long.
(Note to my friends in the cable industry who are
reading this: You're welcome.)
On this date...
Holy ignition! In 1967, tonight's
episode of "Batman" reveals that Dick Grayson (aka
Robin) has just earned his driver's license, allowing
him to drive the Batmobile.
-- Tom Heald
Monday
On this date...
In 1995, in one of the weirder
programming about-faces in recent memory, CBS's woefully
misguided grab at Gen-X viewers continues this night
with Andrew "Dice" Clay and Cathy Moriarty pretending to
be "The Honeymooners" on "Bless This House," "Melrose
Place" wizard Darren Star's bland "Central Park West,"
and Patricia Wettig, Robin Givens, Michael Lerner and
Nia Peeples as those sexy lawyers and judges of
"Courthouse." Meanwhile at America's Broadcasting
Company, Tea Leoni is a tabloid reporter trying to steal
Anna Nicole Smith's urine on the premiere of "The Naked
Truth." The only debut on this date that will go on to be
a hit is "The Drew Carey Show."
-- Tom Heald
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This page last updated 17-Sep-99 11:27 AM
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Articles for week of Sept. 20, 1999
Thursday
Big night. We'll know soon if America's Nielsen remnant has any interest whatsoever in switching away from NBC's "must-see" Thursday lineup tonight. "Stark Raving Mad" launches tonight in the post-"Frasier" time slot, opposite the episode on "Action" portions of which I saw filmed last month in Culver City (look for a catfight between Illeana Douglas and Jay Mohr's ex). Also, "Third Watch" from "ER" creator John Wells gets a nice sampling as NBC puts it in the "ER" time slot, one week only. Read my reviews
On this date...
in 1983, circus orangutan Cha
Cha drinks an experimental enzyme and gains not only an
IQ of 256, but also the ability to talk. Consulting for
the government, our hero is code named "Mr. Smith," in
one of the lamest sitcoms ever not to feature Jerry Van
Dyke. "Mr. Smith" played by "C.J.," had become a star in
Clint Eastwood's primate and/or trucker epics "Any Which
Way You Can, " and "Every Which Way but Loose," and was
one of the few involved whose career survived the show.
-- Tom Heald
Wednesday
Read this book. I can't blame my tardiness in posting the overnights and our "Saturday Night Live" contest winners on David Wild's new book, The Showrunners. But I'd like to. I'm only about 100 pages into it and already I can recommend this terrific chronicle of a year in TV land with the folks responsible for bringing you your favorite shows -- the "showrunners," the executive producers who do the heavy sweating. People like Bruce Helford ("The Drew Carey Show," "The Norm Show"), Paul Simms ("NewsRadio"), and Trey Parker and Matt Stone ("South Park").
... It's a primer in understanding the sausage factory that is television series production. Wild, a senior editor at Rolling Stone, spent a year checking in with some of the industry's top showrunners. Even I'm taking notes and dog-earing pages. But I note with some alarm that this book has received almost no push from its publisher, HarperCollins. No review copies were mailed to TV critics, many of whom have daily columns and would be happy to drop in the title of a worthy book. I happened upon The Showrunners in a Barnes & Noble bookrack -- and not even a display table but a shelf in the Film and Television section. Do the top book houses even do publicity anymore? (Addendum: A hot-under-the-collar publicist from HarperCollins called after seeing the above item, saying more than 300 review copies were mailed out. "Everybody in the industry received a copy," he huffed. Tell that to Ellen Gray of the Philadelphia Daily News. First time she'd heard of The Showrunners was when I phoned her up on Wednesday.
Pick to click. Former New York Times correspondent Hedrick Smith has churned out another quality documentary for PBS, "Seeking Solutions," airing tonight on public TV stations nationwide (check local listings). Smith, in this interview in July, told me he thinks today's media has lost its sense of balance and perspective. More journalists need to report the stories of communities are battling the twin plagues of drugs and violence -- and in many cases succeeding. Smith and his crew identified six such communities, including an inner-city neighborhood here in Kansas City, and profiles them in tonight's special. Read my page one story from Wednesday's Kansas City Star
It's too soon to say for sure, but "The Norm Show" (ABC, 8:30 p.m. Wednesday) may be itching to break out in its second season. From tonight's episode it's clear the writers have learned to feed Norm Macdonald those off-kilter lines he specializes in delivering straight up. (When a co-worker introduces him to a professor she's dating, Macdonald sourly responds, "Hey, that's a real impressive position. I guess that's one of the benefits of outliving all your contemporaries.") Yet "The Norm Show" manages to make its star lovable almost despite himself. Most encouraging is that last year's good ensemble, led by Laurie Metcalf of "Roseanne," is now officially terrific with the addition of Nikki Cox. On the sitcom "Unhappily Ever After" Cox was mostly asked to show off her midriff, but here she instantly establishes herself as a wonderfully trippy comic actress.
"Law & Order" (NBC, 10 p.m.) starts its 10th season with a terrifying flourish -- a nut with a 9-millimeter rifle opens fire on sun-worshipers in Central Park. First on the scene is Jerry Orbach and his new partner, Jesse L. Martin, who played Ally McBeal's love interest last season. For a series known for verisimilitude, how odd is it that the shooting takes place a stone's throw from two dozen news organizations -- yet half an hour later there are no TV crews in sight?
On this date...
in 1987, widowed sportscaster
Danny Tanner invites his idiot brother-in-law and his
idiot friend to live in his astonishingly large house,
help raise his children, and crack wise on the "Three
Men And A Baby" rip-off "Full House." On the bright
side, viewers only have to watch one Olsen twin at a
time.
-- Tom Heald
Tuesday
"Friends" in space. Ever notice that most science-fiction programs are essentially workplace dramas? TV Barn columnist John Zipperer did. "Spaceship crews, often in a quasi-military organization ... develop bonds of friendship and professional camaraderie while exploring space or blowing up alien bugs or whatever they're assigned to do." But these programs rarely venture on into the final frontier: interpersonal relations. ... Read Zippy's column
Pick to click.
How many decent sitcoms are there anymore? Six? So why are two of them pitted against each other on Tuesday nights?
At 9 p.m., TV's two odd couples, "Dharma & Greg" on ABC and "Will & Grace" on NBC square off with their season premieres -- and I'm sorry to inform the VCR-challenged that both are worth seeing. On "Will & Grace," Grace (Debra Messing) moves into her own apartment, but that doesn't ease her dependence on Will (Eric McCormack). At the same time Will prepares to go on a date (finally). Meanwhile on "Dharma & Greg," Greg (Thomas Gibson) makes a change of his own: He quits his job and tries pumping up the flower power in his life. Wife Dharma (Jenna Elfman) is quietly appalled.
On this date...
in 1981, on "General Hospital,"
Luke Spencer attempts to stop the Cassadines from
freezing the world with their "Ice Princess" weather
machine. Who says soap operas don't deal with everyday
problems?
-- Tom Heald
Weekend
About those "SNL" contest entries ... If you came to the TV Barn site today looking for the readers' poll of "Saturday Night Live's" 25 biggest moments ... you'll have to wait a while. Response was overwhelming, and so is my current workload. I hope to have the compiled list out later this weekend.
Picks to click.
If you ever wondered whether ABC News correspondent John Stossel was being square with us, wonder no more. His latest special, "Is America Number One?" -- which ought to be subtitled, "Of Course It Is, Ya Dope" -- is an infuriatingly one-sided hour of rah-rah for the U.S. of A (ABC, 9 p.m. Sunday).
In it Stossel abandons any attempts to conceal his conservative point of view, which he pours on this special like Karo syrup. Stossel is an agile writer, and I've admired his enterprise in previous hours like "Teens: What Makes Them Tick?" and a debunking of allegedly scientific myths perpetuated by the media.
But what exactly is accomplished by telling us how great the free enterprise system is? Or interviewing people like Milton Friedman, that ancient free-marketer, for whom liberty is two degrees short of religion. Stossel then interviews the much younger Indian expatriate Dinesh D'Souza, I guess for diversity's sake, since D'Souza could not agree more with Friedman. Simpatico think-tanker Tom Palmer checks in, too.
On the other side, there's the liberal radio host Jim Hightower, whose arguments Stossel goes to unseemly lengths to destroy. (Stossel describes Hightower as "one of many commentators who spread the word." Many liberal commentators? On what planet?) In fact, Stossel takes great care to refute any discouraging word that's heard about America.
Yet his own survey of conditions in the rest of the world is breathtaking in its negativity -- exactly the sort of bad-mouthing that gets Stossel's dander up when it's directed at us. His summations read like a parody of a foreign-news roundup. Calcutta: grinding poverty! Rwanda: tribal genocide! Germany: skinheads!
A reporter at my newspaper recently interviewed two Kansas City teen-agers who visited East Africa for three weeks. One of them said it increased her appreciation for all the little comforts of life she had here. It made her a better American. But, she added, in her African village she could walk down the streets at night without the fear of violence. And people there seemed to "accept you for who you are." At the end, she said, "I almost didn't want to leave."
Many Americans who have spent time abroad can relate to that inner conflict. Not John Stossel, who, now that he's gotten this out of his system, ought to go back to reporting on science.
The inconsistent Showtime comedy "Rude Awakening" serves up a decent episode at 10 p.m. Saturday. Probably the first sitcom to use Alcoholics Anonymous meetings as a regular source of jokes, "Rude Awakening" stars Sherilyn Fenn as a recovering lush and Lynn Redgrave as her mommie dearest. In this episode, guest star Tim Curry (what TV show hasn't he be a guest on?) plays Redgrave's snakelike lawyer. He's even less likable than she; naturally they fall madly in love.
Comedian David Cross demonstrated four years ago that he is not even quite ready for late-night network TV (his debut on "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" had to be edited when the material got too rough). Since then Cross and writing-performing partner Bob Odenkirk have made themselves comfortable on HBO, where no one cares how you do it so long as you make people laugh.
That he does in a new special, "David Cross: The Pride Is Back," (HBO, 10 p.m. Saturday). Taped live in Seattle, Cross seems to have written his first quarter-hour of material on the flight out (three bits involving airports, all riotously good).
Although he can at times seem gratuitously crass, Cross usually gets his points across about the little, and not so little, hypocrisies in life: Advertising that targets Gen-Xers. "Footprints," that saccharine mainstay of Christian bookstores. Airlines that want their customers to trade in frequent-flier miles for dying kids. They're easy targets, perhaps, but somebody has to bulldoze them.
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Articles for week of Sept. 27, 1999
Weekend

Pick to click. You may recall Louis Theroux as the slightly rumpled British reporter on Michael Moore's news-comedy program "TV Nation," where his disarming style was his secret weapon in getting people to say things they shouldn't have. The Bravo network, having already picked up Moore's new British-produced series, "The Awful Truth," now brings us "Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends" at 8 p.m. every Friday for the next nine weeks. (It repeats at 11:30 p.m.) One of Theroux's more memorable ventures for "TV Nation" took him to the farthest reaches of the Amazon river, where the Avon Corp. had deployed more than 70,000 sales people. Somehow the company's spokesman admitted on-camera to Theroux that a commercial it was running nonstop on Brazilian TV for its wrinkle cream used "a little trick" to suggest the cream's effects on tired skin were nothing short of miraculous.
... "Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends" isn't that polemical or topical, but it's still a highly watchable showcase for Theroux. Every week the BBC sends him out to report on a bizarre social phenomenon, usually in the United States: a strange form of wrestling in South Carolina, or talent development for wannabe Broadway actors, or the obligatory visit to a survivalist compound in Idaho.
For some reason, Bravo didn't send me tonight's episode to preview (the wrestling one), so instead I watched the survivalist show and was delighted to see Theroux shedding new light on an oft-told story. He visits with several of the survivalists, and through his gentle bantering with his subjects draws out the differences between them (yes, there really are differences). He earns the trust of Mike Cain, an extremely suspicious type who goes on patrol every morning at 4 a.m., just in case the United Nations tries a night attack on his stretch of heaven. Cain is also a devoted family man and not nearly as scary as the Ace hardware guy he buys his building materials from.
... For a guy who was hired on "TV Nation" as a writer, Theroux has developed into a top-notch questioner. On "TV Nation," where the comedy was more overt, all the pieces tended to be over-narrated; here there's remarkably little narrating, or editing, because Theroux doesn't require it. He pulls all the strangeness out of his subjects in real time without playing them for laughs. And if he's faking empathy, well, he had me fooled, too.
... On the comedy front, "The Simpsons" (Fox, 8 p.m. Sunday) this week offers a powerfully funny episode in which Bart is treated with a new drug for attention deficit disorder. It concentrates his mind wonderfully -- too wonderfully, in fact, as he soon develops seven habits of a highly effective paranoid loony. But not before making his old man proud: "He's gone from Goofus to Gallant," crows Homer, "and we owe it all to mind-bending drugs!"
... And on "Sex and the City" (HBO, 9 p.m. Sunday) Sarah Jessica Parker and her posse tackle a modern dilemma: "We keep dresses we'll never wear again, but we throw away our old boyfriends." So she tries making contact again with Mr. Big (Chris Noth) while her girlfriends also encounter former loves, one of them a horse (see it to believe it).
Thursday
Mexican radio. Spanish-language broadcasting has exploded on the scene in recent years and is even beginning to reach outposts like Kansas City. Although its Hispanic population is prominent in such neighborhoods as Armourdale and the Westside, Kansas City is only No. 50 in Hispanic radio markets. But now, suddenly, two radio stations in town are switching to all-Hispanic in order to tap into this increasingly lucrative market. One downside: Neither is Hispanic-owned. ... Read my story from the front page of Thursday's Kansas City Star
On this date...
In 1962, Univision begins
broadcasting as KMEX-TV channel 34 in Los Angeles,
Calif., one of the first Spanish-language stations in
America.
-- Tom Heald
Wednesday
Andy Kaufman, unleashed. No sooner had I hung up the phone late Tuesday afternoon with Bill Zehme, who told me he had just sent his publisher the final revisions to his definite biography of Andy Kaufman, than I received the first full-length review of that very book, LOST IN THE FUNHOUSE: The Life and Mind of Andy Kaufman. (For those of you unfamiliar with the publishing biz, reviewers get their copies several weeks before publication in the form of uncorrected galleys.) The reviewer is Brian Momchilov, keeper of the Andy Kaufman Home Page, and here's his unabashed rave:
Many know Andy Kaufman as the comedian who played the squeaky-voiced auto mechanic Latka Gravas on TV's "Taxi." Some believe he redefined comedy with his eccentric, often joke-free performances. His countless media stunts and hoaxes often engendered more confusion than appreciation, and countless many dismissed Kaufman and his intrepid approach to entertainment as simply insane. Some even regarded his bizarre death of lung cancer in 1984 as merely the latest of his many escapades. Fifteen years after the fact, there are still people convinced that Andy Kaufman faked his death to consummate the ultimate deception.
Although considered a genius by many contemporaries, Kaufman's brand of comedy was offbeat, extremely confrontational, and always misunderstood. He was not an easy man to know or even to like on a personal level. Despite the contradictions, the popular fascination with the "Dada of Ha-Ha" persists today. It will peak on Christmas Day with the opening of "Man on the Moon," directed by Academy Award-winning director Milos Forman and starring Jim Carrey (as Andy), Danny DeVito and Courtney Love. Besides the movie, at least two books on Kaufman are coming out this fall and there will no doubt be a resurgence in radio air play for R.E.M.'s song (from which the title of the movie is taken) and several related documentaries on cable.
Bill Zehme, a senior writer at Esquire who has also written for Rolling Stone and Playboy, is renowned for his exceptional flair in authoring stylish celebrity profiles. Zehme's most successful book to date, The Way You Wear Your Hat: Frank Sinatra and the Lost Art of Livin' and two others he coauthored, one with Jay Leno (Leading With My Chin) and the other with Regis Philbin (I'm Only One Man!), may have served as practice for the challenge ahead, because his biography of Kaufman, Lost in the Funhouse, is distinguished in every respect.
In writing this superb biography, Zehme effortlessly overcomes what many biographers would consider a major obstacle: sorting out the fact and fiction in Andy's life, much of which was cloaked in illusion, misdirection and lunacy. It was hard to really know what actually occurred behind the scenes as Andy cooked up his most provocative and controversial performances. But as Zehme amply documents in Lost in the Funhouse, Andy manipulated the media constantly, whether raising high-octane hatred from the city of Memphis as a bad guy "rassler," or calling in phony tips to the National Enquirer ("I'm fighting with Bernadette Peters while we film Heartbeeps"). His televised brawl on "Fridays" was as orchestrated as the slap to his face from Jerry Lawler on Letterman's "Late Night." Sometimes (many would argue most of the time) his hoaxes backfired to his detriment. The last two chapters of Zehme's book sadly portray the extent of that damage.
Zehme succeeds in shedding new light on Kaufman's short and peculiar life to produce a dynamic portrait of a misunderstood artist. After several years of exhaustive research, Zehme has crafted a book that succeeds on its own terms. It's not a conventional narrator-driven biography, but one that cleverly paints images and events in ways that are entertaining unto themselves. The book's roller-coaster narrative has all the thrill of an amusement-park ride. Despite the adventurous method, Zehme provides the reader with great historical clarity and unmasks many of the myths and legends that have become associated with Kaufman's time in the spotlight.
Zehme uses parcels of Kaufman's voluminous writings and candid interviews with Kaufman's family and closest friends to frame key episodes in his life. The book avoids much of the speculation and romanticism of others who have penned articles, websites, and books on Kaufman. In Lost in the Funhouse Zehme reveals that Kaufman's bag of tricks and illusions was fully developed in his teenage years -- so much for claims by others who have been taking credit for many of Kaufman's signature achievements. Andy's nightclub performances, his Carnegie Hall show, and both TV specials (for ABC and PBS) were adult variations of the birthday-party shows he gave for small neighborhood children when he was in his early teens, in which he showed movies on the wall, lip-synched to songs, performed magic tricks and led sing-alongs of "The Cow Goes Moo" and other favorites. (Even his milk-and-cookies idea was something Kaufman thought of in college.)
This is fine writing unfettered by sentiment. Zehme has channeled Kaufman in a way Jim Carrey could only dream of attaining. He illuminates the mysteries behind a recognized genius and performer extraordinaire who was also proud, difficult, arrogant, highly intellectual and consumed by self-obsession.
Bill Zehme has accomplished what no one else could. He has found an uncanny
ability to enter Kaufman's mind and leave us with a compelling impression of
the complexities and frailties of a Boy Wonder mincing in a world of
disbelieving adults. This epic
biography takes us on an unforgettable journey through the funhouse inside
of Andyland.
On this date...
In 1963, Leo Durocher's Dodgers
ease out of their slump with the advice of ... "Mister
Ed"? With advice by phone from "architect Wilbur Post,"
the teams fortunes improve and soon Post and pet are
taking batting practice at Dodger Stadium in one of the
oddest TV episodes ever aired (it features perhaps the
only televised instance of a horse sliding into a base).
-- Tom Heald
Tuesday
Culture vultures.
"If the Democrats have been Hollywoodized by their support base in the entertainment industry," writes TV Barn columnist John Zipperer, "the Republicans have been taking lessons from the French, who try to dictate the evolution of their language and culture. Even worse than the bureaucratic horse-trading inherent in Washington is the idea that people who excel at the politics of writing legislation will be the same people we want commenting on popular music, film, and television and their effects on things ranging from teenage pregnancy to street violence." ... Read Zippy's column
On this date...
In 1969, Leonard Nimoy accepts a new crew
position as part of the "Mission: Impossible" team. Nimoy's
Paris replaces husband-and-wife spooks Martin Landau and Barbara Bain;
they've quit in a salary dispute.
-- Tom Heald
Monday
For "SNL's" 25th season, 25 top moments
Over the course of 24 seasons, Lorne Michaels and hundreds of others associated with "Saturday Night Live" churned out 650 hours of broadcast television -- and, cynics say, have so little to show for it. The list you are about to read begs to differ. Eighty-one readers came up with more than 240 different outstanding memories from (so far as we can tell) every one of "SNL's" 24 seasons, yes, even that dreadful season Charles Rocket immortalized with a single expectorated F word.
It's often argued that "SNL" should hang it up because the show's just not funny anymore. That won't happen, even if Michaels decides someday to quit, because "SNL" is just one of three programs in the history of television to win its time period, in audience and in targeted demographics, for twenty-five years. (The other two: "The Tonight Show" and "Monday Night Football.") It can also be argued that had somebody listened to fan outcries in previous years and actually cancelled the show -- say in 1984 -- we would likely never have heard much from Dana Carvey, or Chris Farley, or Phil Hartman, or Adam Sandler, or David Spade, or Cheri Oteri, or (my favorite) Norm Macdonald. Where else would these performers have gotten a stage for their talents? On a sitcom? (It's hard to imagine the sitcoms that now feature Spade and Macdonald would ever have flown as currently conceived had not their stars established their unique personas on "SNL.")
She fueled a memorable "SNL" moment.
Yet which were the most enduring memories from "Saturday Night Live"? Perhaps it's a testament to the vast output of its writers and performers that we will probably never know the answer to that question. Multiply 650 hours by five or so sketches and if even a tiny fraction of those performances were memorable, you've got a boondoggle. ("Shimmer is a floor wax and a dessert topping" -- funnier than Total Bastard Airlines?)
In a way, standards have shifted so tectonically in the past quarter century that it's fair to ask whether we can even compare older "SNLs" to newer ones. We have trouble remembering what shocked us into delirious fits of laughter 20 years ago because the same jokes today would never shock us, let alone have us convulsing. Fortunately, TV Barn (formerly LATE SHOW NEWS) readers have excellent memories and many were able to recall the electricity of those Saturday nights when Richard Pryor and Chevy Chase conducted their still-classic "Word Association" routine, the night Charles Rocket swore and the immortal words, "Get a life!" Even Danny Aykroyd's tossing of a fish into a blender still evokes strong memories.
25 TOP MOMENTS FROM 25 YEARS OF "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE"
compiled by Tom Heald and Aaron Barnhart
The list that follows contains only a handful of moments that could be rightly called consensus picks. The rest are representative moments -- maybe not the 25 most indicative moments you would've chosen, but a cross-section of memories that capture many of the qualities that have made "SNL" not just an institution but a singular TV show.
Most of the non-consensus picks were chosen by Tom Heald based mainly on the strength of the case the reader made for including it in the list. This project would not have been finished had not Tom burned the midnight oil; but since I had final say-so in the choices, and added a few of my own, don't blame Tom if your favorite moment is missing. Any unsigned items below were written by yours truly.
25. "Def Comedy Jam Magic Show." So forget the obvious moments (George Carlin hosting the premiere, Sinead O'Connor & the Pope picture, Charles Rocket using the f-word). My funniest "SNL" sketch would have to be "Russell Simmons' Def Comedy Jam Magic Show." In under two minutes, it effectively captured the profane absurdity of the HBO series it parodied, and twisted it hysterically. When Chris Rock says "You motherf------s don't believe I can full a motherf----ing rabbit out of this motherf-----ing hat?!" and he does, and we cut to a shot of the audience rollicking and whooping, it still makes me laugh. The sketch also has what may be the funniest single line ever uttered (and bleeped) on "SNL": Tim Meadows, in trying to saw Ellen Cleghorne in half, says, "Bitch, I'm gonna saw you in half and keep the half with the p----- because the other half talks too motherf----- much." No wonder it ran at 12:55 a.m. -- it must have given the standards department fits." (Wendell Foster)
24. George Wendt in a bar. During the season with Anthony Michael Hall, Randy Quaid, Denitra Vance, Robert Downey, Jr., etc., George Wendt was hosting, and it was announced during his monologue that Francis Ford Coppola would be directing the show that night. So, throughout the evening, Coppola would pop up here and there, with Terry Sweeney sucking up to him the whole time. During a Vietnam war sketch, Hall is shot -- it's for real, though, as Coppola explains that he wanted to go for realism (that whole "Apocalypse Now" thing). Other cast members call him a psychopath, and Wendt, drained by the whole experience, goes to a bar downstairs in Rockefeller Center, where a live camera is set up and Al Franken and Tom Davis are bartending. I don't think I've seen an episode that had a running cohesive 'plotline' like that, and it was kind was kind of a cool experiment, something they probably wouldn't try today. Usually, everyone remembers specific sketches, but on this night the entire show was memorable. (R.J. White)
23. "The Question Is Moot!" Two of my all-time favorite "SNL" skits feature Jesse Jackson. Perhaps it's because no one else has tried so hard to be taken seriously in the political world, which makes these amazingly successful attempts at humor strike the funny bone that much harder. The first happened in a 1980s show Jackson hosted. In one sketch, a game show called "The Question is Moot!", Jackson would ask the questions, but then -- to the increasing frustration of the contestants -- he'd avoid giving the answers, each time declaring that "the question is moot," because, for instance, it didn't matter how much a lobster dinner cost, since the real income of average working families had gone down so dramatically that most couldn't afford such a meal anyway. Jackson played it perfectly, and it bespoke a real political truth, which is that the questions are more important than the answers, and who gets to frame the question even more so. Finally, the ending was perfect: One of the contestants asks Jackson who wins the car, since none of them has any points. Jackson, of course, says, "The question is moot. I get the car!" ... The other priceless Jackson "SNL" moment is his tribute to the late Dr. Seuss, when he appeared on "Weekend Update," to read "instead of from the book of Sam-u-el, from the book 'Sam I Am.'" And then he proceeded to read, without a smirk and in full reverential tones, Dr. Seuss' classic poetry. It was touching and funny and classic and remarkable, and had a call-your-friends excitement to it. (Anthony E. Wright)
22. Joe Montana, wanker. Phil Hartman and Jan Hooks have just come back to his place after a date. After each line of dialogue we hear an echoform of what they're actually thinking. (Hartman: "I had a great time tonight." I'd like to get into her pants. Hooks: "So did I." I'd like him to get into my pants.) All is going well, despite the lack of honest communication, until Joe Montana enters as the unwelcome roommate whose thoughts exactly mirror what he is thinking. ("It's nice to meet you. It's nice to meet her.) Hartman tries to shoo him off, but Montana is too naive to get the hint. Finally, Hartman says they'll try to keep it down so they don't disturb him. (while thinking, Thanks a lot, you jerk.) Montana innocently replies, "You won't disturb me. I'll be in my room masturbating." (They won't disturb me, I'll be in my room masturbating.) ... This stuck in my mind for several reasons. After thinking I'd gotten the joke already, the utter shock of hearing that line said so openly was totally unexpected, and not just for me. I've never heard an audience react quite like that before, or since. It was also the first time I ever heard any form of the word "masturbate" on network television, and as far as I know, the first time it had been done. Today, it wouldn't get the same reaction, but this was long before Seinfeld's "The Contest" and nonstop jackoff jokes on Comedy Central. Then the fact it was coming from Joe Montana, whose comic timing was completely unexpected. All in all, I thought it more edgy than a lot of later SNL stuff because it was more than just a token use of a naughty word. (ietra@bigfoot.com)
21. "Here I Come to Save the Day": Sure, you could choose Andy Kauffman's Mighty Mouse routine from the first-ever "SNL" for a number of reasons: It demonstrated "SNL's" willingness to take risks, accelerated the show's course toward becoming the home of groundbreaking comedy, and set the tone for a program that would be required viewing among tastemakers for years to come. I just like it 'cause it makes me smile. (Jim Jividen)
20. Are we not men? My most memorable moment as an "SNL" viewer came in the fall of 1978, when Devo made their first nationwide TV appearance. I watched along with my then-girlfriend (let's call her Ellen) and my best bud. As the Spudboys launched into "Jocko Homo," clad in their yellow industrial outfits, my buddy and I were transfixed. "These guys are great!" I exclaimed, just as Ellen declared, "These guys suck!" Right then, I realized two things: My musical tastes had taken a decided turn off the mainstream, and my days as Ellen's main squeeze were numbered. Sure enough, within weeks I was asked to take a hike. I still smile every time I hear Devo, though. (Vern Morrison)
19. Comeback kids. Prior to Billy Crystal's opening monologue on his first night as a cast member in 1984, a lot of people were concerned that the "SNL" job, after a string of career missteps, might mark Crystal once and for all as an also-ran. But the honesty, confidence and warmth with which he leads his audience through his hilarious routine is genuinely moving and disarming. It's obvious we are watching a man who wasn't beaten. (Ray H. Misra) ... When Eddie Murphy returned to host "SNL" in the 1984-85 season, his last two films were "Best Defense," a fiasco with Dudley Moore that was actually pasted together from two different movies, and "Beverly Hills Cop." This episode features the short film "White Like Me," in which Murphy infiltrates the secret world of whites -- as a white man -- and is better than both of those big-budget movies. The co-writers of that short, Blaustein and Sheffield, later remade "White Like Me" as "True Identity," a 1992 vehicle for British comic Lenny Henry. (Jimmy Aquino)
18. Spit take. Jane Curtin plays herself sitting in a dressing room, endorsing a hair-care product called Martinsheen. As she is talking, "SNL" guest Martin Sheen is standing next to her with a paper cup full of water. Jane describes the product in glowing terms as Martin appears to drink the water. Jane continues, saying something like "Just one squirt of Martinsheen ..." at which point Martin spits the water onto her head. This item is simply weird and funny, with the key word being simple. This is in contrast to "Modern SNL," which seems to go to great lengths, especially in the make-up department, to get weak laughs. (Jonathan Krall)
17. The final episode with Phil Hartman. It was a decent ending to a fine career on "SNL," with Phil and the cast singing a farewell. However, one moment from that swansong has become especially poignant in past months: Chris Farley falling asleep in Hartman's lap. (Kevin J Everhart)
16. Eddie Murphy's "Black History Minute": Eddie is a black history professor sitting in a chair and recounting the history of the invention of peanut butter -- how two white men ("Jif" Armstrong and "Skippy" Williams, I think) stole the idea of peanut butter from peanut advocate George Washington Carver. These two white men reaped untold fortunes while "George Washington Carver died penniless and insane, still trying to play a phonograph record with a peanut." Just a brilliant little one-minute piece of writing. (Mike Flegel)
15. "Jane, you ignorant slut." Perhaps the best-known of "SNL's" early TV parodies. I still laugh at this takeoff on the "60 Minutes" point-counterpoint segment more than 20 years later. And I don't even remember who the people were that Jane and Dan were parodying, not even what they looked like -- a sure sign the sketch is a classic. (Michael Alan Chary)
14. "The Pepsi Syndrome." This sketch aired in 1979 in the wake of the Three Mile Island nuclear plant near-catastrophe and the concurrent movie, "The China Syndrome." It was one of those magical, longer sketches from the early years that utilized all of the cast members. Clever and full of surprises, this was arguably "SNL" at its finest. Notable moments include President Carter mutating into a giant from radiation and running off with Garrett Morris, the similarly afflicted custodial worker sent in to clean up the contaminated mess. "The Pepsi Syndrome" almost sparked the roaring comeback of Rodney Dangerfield, who walked on and rattled off a string of "giant" jokes to explain to the press how big the president had become: "He's so big he had an affair with the Holland Tunnel." Sketches like this made viewing "SNL" an event. (Joe LaRose)
13. "Happy Fun Ball." One of the most memorable TV commercial parodies in the show's history was nominated by two different readers who simply sent in this line, one of several disclaimers heard during the ad: "Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball."
12. Sermonette. I only saw this sketch once, but I've never forgotten it: Christopher Guest plays an angel escorting a just-deceased soul into the afterlife. On the way, the dead guy asks the angel questions about his just-ended life like, "What was the dumbest thing I ever did?". Amazingly, the angel knows the answers to every question he asks. The angel apparently has immediate access to any bit of information about this guy's life. ("What was the grossest thing I ever ate? Okay, what was the 736th grossest thing I ever ate?") I thought the premise of the sketch was both clever and thought-provoking. But I think what made it so moving for me was the implication behind the premise: There's a supernatural being who has paid attention to you during your entire life and remembers every detail of it. That was probably the most profound idea I have ever seen presented on SNL. (Eddie Anderson)
11. Spontaneity. In the early years there was some sort of "in space" sketch. The guest host and/or skit characters were to be transported to the next scene via some sort of complicated effect. The video-effect device failed and viewers mid-sketch suddenly saw Jane Curtin and Gilda Radner (not in that skit) on the home base stage, wearing their dressing room bathrobes. The had been rushed out to explain, unscripted, that the video effect device was not working. They were convulsed in nervous laughter, they didn't know what they were talking about, they filled enough time until the actors had physically moved to the next scene, they were then cut off, and the sketch resumed. They were, unknowingly, the high point of the lame sketch. (Tom Roche)
(Note: The top 10 favorites received at least five votes from our 81 voters.)
10. The Five Timers club, Dec. 8, 1990. Tom Hanks can't believe he's already been host of "SNL" five times, which admits him to "one of the most exclusive clubs in the world." He escorts us into a walnut-paneled lounge, where Steve Martin, Paul Simon and, yes, Elliott Gould are lounging in purple robes. "Y'know," Gould says, "it's much easier to get five nowadays." They are waited on by Jon Lovitz (Martin: "Try the Anthony Michael Hall. It's surprisingly good"), and must eject the gate-crashing Ralph Nader ("But I've hosted the show! I swear!").
9. Bass-o-matic. When Dan Aykroyd drops the perch into a blender, it is truly a defining moment for bent humor. "Bass-O-Matic '76" crossed the threshold of good taste and did so hilariously. This is a line that would be obliterated by Howard Stern, but back in those more naive days it was groundbreaking. (Steve Timko)
8. "Get a life!" Possibly the best-known catchphrase in the history of "Saturday Night Live" was uttered Dec. 20, 1986 by William Shatner, playing himself at a unbearably geek-infested "Star Trek" get-together. "When I was your age, I didn't even watch television. I lived! So move out of your parents' basements, get your own apartments, and grow the hell up! It's just a TV show, dammit!" Fittingly, Shatner would later author a loving tribute to those conventions (which, in effect, saved his career), a book entitled "Get a Life!"
7. The John Belushi-Joe Cocker duet, Oct. 25, 1975. A fellow graduate student and I were out killing a few brain cells with beer. Our last stop of the evening was at a San Francisco peninsula hangout of some note called Rizotti's. We walked in, sat down, got a couple of Coors and looked up at the screen where Joe Cocker was performing. A few minutes later, John Belushi walked out and the two sang their famous duet. We finished our beers about the same time the song was done, looked at each other and decided that was a good time to end the festivities. (Tony Lima)
6. Elvis Costello, Dec. 17, 1977. Costello and his group, the Attractions, stopped the music after a few bars of their scheduled number to kick into an unplanned version of "Radio, Radio." Elvis wasn't an established act, unlike most of the acts seen on "SNL" to that point. By playing an anti-music industry song at the moment of his widest exposure was very gutsy, leading many to wonder "Who is this angry young man?". It helped establish "SNL" as a leading forum for the younger generation of musical acts. (Patrick Farrell)
5. The Sinatra Group. One of Phil Hartman's most brilliant impersonations as the Chairman of the Board. Hilarious parodies of Sinead O'Connor (Frank: "Yap, yap, yap!"), Steve and Eydie ("You're right, Frank. Absolutely, Frank"), and Sting as Billy Idol (Frank: "You don't scare me. I got chunks of guys like you in my stool!").
4. Buckwheat is shot. Whenever news breaks, every network scrambles to get on the air as quickly as possible, which is quite understandable. What is not as understandable is the need to say the EXACT same thing 400 times within a ten-minute period. The "Buckwheat Is Dead" parody brilliantly points this out by showing the same 10 seconds of video over and over again with Joe Piscopo as Ted Koppel narrating it. At the time, it was a parody of the shooting of Ronald Reagan. Today it could just as easily be a parody of any tragedy that the news reports. (Bill Geraghty)
3. Charles Rocket says the F word. Rocket lasted just one season on "SNL," anchoring "Weekend Update." On Feb. 21, 1981, he was made the center of a running gag related to the "Who Shot J.R.?" episode of "Dallas," then the rage on CBS. "Who Shot Charlie Rocket?" isn't quite resolved by the time the cast takes the stage for an extended goodbye wave. Rocket ad libs, "All I want to know is who the f--- shot me." Charlie! Dude! You shot yourself!
2. Word Association. Twenty-four years after George Carlin hosted the debut broadcast, it's a sign that American TV hasn't completely gone to pot that the N-word is nearly as rare to hear as those seven words on Carlin's famous list. But on that Dec. 13, 1975, broadcast when Richard Pryor and Chevy Chase did the word association, "nigger" was used to incredible effect. It is a remarkably spare sketch -- at first all we know is that Pryor is interviewing for a job. Then as the psychological test begins, Pryor is hilariously befuddled, until Chase says, "Tar baby ..." The exchange that follows is elegant and escalatingly funny until the taboo payoff. Ironically, this was one of the few "SNL's" NBC put on a 7-second delay; the network feared Pryor would say something indecent that needed bleeping. In fact, the most scandalous word of the night was written right into a censor-approved script.
1. Sinead O'Connor rips the Pope. "That cute bald chick," as fellow "SNL" lightning rod Andrew "Dice" Clay called her, was responsible for the one moment that, above all others, stuck in the memories of in TV Barn readers. And why not? O'Connor's act was unexpected, it was unbleepable and on a certain level, and to certain viewers, it was unpardonable. This wasn't about saying a word you couldn't say on TV. It wasn't about shocking an audience that, in a few years, would wonder what the fuss was for. It was pure, timeless rage uncorked in novel fashion on a seemingly innocuous object. On a show that has justifiably taken a lot of pipe over the years for sophomoric, overly literal humor, its most powerful minute was seeped in symbolism.
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Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Monday, October 4 : in 1994, "Frasier" is forced to come
out of the closet as a heterosexual when his new boss
makes the wrong assumptions about the fashionable, witty
opera loving wine connoisseur.
Tuesday, October 5 : in 1979, "General Hospital's" Luke
Spencer rapes Laura Baldwin on the floor of the campus disco.
Laura: "Luke I have to go now" (He kisses her as they dance)
"Luke let me call a taxi please." (They continue to dance.)
"You're frightening me. No...no!" (He forces her to kiss him.)
"NO! Luke, let me go!" (He takes her in his arms and slowly
pulls her to the floor as the music swells) "No, NO! NO Luke,
NO!!!"
Wednesday, October 6 : in 1992, CBS airs a 30 minute paid
infomercial offering up the amazing new product "Ross
Perot," who wants to slice and dice his way to the
presidency. The special draws a larger audience on the
other channels offerings -- "Seinfeld" and "The Simpsons."
Thursday, October 7 : in 1994, future presidential candidate
Warren Beatty proves he's in touch with the common man by
pitching both "Big Ass Ham" and the new "Big Ass Bacon" on
the "Late Show with David Letterman."
Friday, October 8 : in 1996, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien"
celebrates show #666. Satan being unavailable, the show
instead books Dr. Ruth Westheimer.
Saturday, October 9 : in 1972, The Raiders are trouncing
the Oilers on "Monday Night Football," and as Howard Cosell
babbles on about a particular play down on the field, the
camera focuses in on one lone Oilers fan in an otherwise
empty section. As the fan lifts up his middle finger on
live TV, Dandy Don Meredith notes, "He's saying they're
No. 1 in the nation." Laughter ensues.
Sunday, October 10 : In 1958, Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. and
Roger Smith are on the case, as private dicks patrolling
"77 Sunset Strip." Edd Byrnes is there in the pilot episode
as a murderous homicidal thug named Smiley, but Byrnes' hair
and flair both captivate audiences so much the producers
bring him back as Gerald Lloyd Kookson III, or "Kookie"
for short.
[Thanks to Allynn Wilkinson. Special thanks to David Tanny.
No thanks to America Online.]
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Maybe you shouldn't have let the kids watch this one, either. (Fox)
Looking the green monster
in the eye
By John Zipperer
Were you ever scared so much by a television program or movie that you had
nightmares -- not just for one night but for years? University of Wisconsin
professor Joanne Cantor says that a surprising number of
children are scared by images that older people might not find particularly
disturbing at all. One of the best-known sources of childhood nightmares is also one of the unlikeliest: the
physical transformation by Bill Bixby's mild-mannered scientist into
"The Incredible Hulk" two decades ago. Cantor finds that the problem for very young
children (such as those between the ages of two to seven) is that they were confused by the transformation and didn't realize that the good-guy
scientist was still a good guy even after he turned into Lou Ferrigno's muscle-bound Hulk; to them, the Hulk was a big, violence-prone character, and that meant danger.
(continued)
Picks to click. "Millionaire," "Shasta McNasty," "New York: A Documentary Film," and other wonders of the smaller screen that are coming your way this week. Note: These picks appear daily in the Kansas City Star; check local listings for the time and channel in your area.
Read my picks
The daily digest ...
for Tuesday, November 16:
As you've no doubt noticed, 1999 has seen a boom in dot com TV commercials. It started with those great Super Bowl ads for monster.com and just kept picking up steam. But another trend was also launched at the Super Bowl: lame dot com TV ads. Remember those horrid spots for outpost.com with the marching band being chased by wild animals? Yuk yuk. Yet outpost.com proved to be closer to the norm. Very few dot coms have figured out how to effectively communicate their message -- or even their Web address -- to viewers. A blessed recent exception to the rule are those goofy bargain-basement-looking ads for CNet that feature actors standing around in T shirts that read "YOU" and, for instance, "GREAT TECH SUPPORT" (message: CNET connects YOU with GREAT TECH SUPPORT). Sure, it looks like an 1890's editorial cartoon, but like a lot of old media, it works ...
Kudos to ABC for its new "Monday Night Football" promo campaign that prominently features the voice and images of Howard Cosell, without whom "MNF" as we know it wouldn't exist ... An all-new "Space Ghost Coast to Coast" episode airing this weekend is entitled, "Sarah Jessica Parker and the Interplanetary Crusaders Who Love Her." Jerry Springer makes an appearance on the long-running talk show spoof airing 11 p.m. Friday on Cartoon Network ...
VH1 announced seven new series for 1999-2000, including "For the Record" (landmark events in rock-n-roll history), "Rock Collectors" ("Antiques Roadshow" for the Beatles generation), "Record Breakers" (a "Guinness" wannabe), "VH1 Confidential" (myths and urban legends of rock), "Needle Drop" ("thirty videos in thirty minutes"), "Rock's Greatest" and "Pop-Up Quiz," based on the program that used to be, god help us, VH1's most popular feature ...
TV shows and films get the lion's share of arts coverage, concludes a new study, "Reporting the Arts," from Columbia University.
Previously on TV Barn:
15 November ...
12 November ...
10 November ...
9 November ...
8 November ...
5 November ...
4 November
On this date ...
in 1986, Carol Burnett, Dabney Coleman,
Teri Garr, and Tom Poston mock the sprawling scenery (and
even more sprawling writing) of prime time soap operas in the
first comic miniseries -- "Fresno," exploring the ups and
downs of the glamorous raisin industry.
-- Tom Heald
On the wires:
(Stories open in a new window. Many links expire over time.)
- ABC beats NBC on Thursday! First time since 1983 [ Read it ]
- NBC announces midseason changes [ Read it ]
- Drudge storms off his own TV show [ Read it ]
- Roker to curtail forecast duties in NYC [ Read it ]
- "ER" says goodbye to another cast member [ Read it ]
- "NYPD Blue" gets time slot back -- now what? [ Read it ]
- Honey, Gordon Elliott is at the door. Oh, I thought you knew who he was ... [ Read it ]
- CBS discriminates against female technicians, rules EEOC [ Read it ]
- GOP rep jilts "Face the Nation" [ Read it ]
- Judge zaps Disney's GO Network logo [ Read it ]
- Karmazin: No synergy with Viacom? No problem! [ Read it ]
- Judge zaps Disney's GO Network logo [ Read it ]
- LMA and duopoly fever among station groups [ Read this and this ]
- Big city, big subject for filmmakers behind "New York" [ Read it ]
- Finally, CBS gobbles up King World [ Read it ]
- Miffed DISH Network shuts off signals [ Read it ]
- "Robocop" the series making a comeback [ Read it ]
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In case you don't know: What's ailing me
Happy New Year!
Let me be the last to wish you a happy oh one oh one oh one and many more ones to follow.
As we were returning from our two-week road trip in October, Mrs. TV Barn and I had our car radio locked on KMOX in St. Louis as it carried live coverage of the memorial service for Missouri's governor Mel Carnahan. He had been killed earlier that week in a plane crash while campaigning for the U.S. Senate. It was a campaign to which we'd paid scant attention until then, yet like many of those who watched or heard that memorial, we were surprisingly moved by the occasion. Though nobody knew it at the time save for a few fatalistic staff aides to Carnahan's opponent, Sen. John Ashcroft we were witnessing the reincarnation of the Carnahan campaign and the anointing of Mel's reluctant successor, his widow Jean.
Despite the crass commentary you may have heard from late-night comics and some disgruntled Republicans, the U.S. Senate race in Missouri was totally legit. Sure, it was won by a dead man but the only reason Mel Carnahan won was that everyone stepping into the voting booth that election day knew it was the only way Jean Carnahan would be appointed to fill his seat.
Naturally, the media played a role in all this, though not the conspiratorial role that some have imputed. In a noteworthy series that began Sunday, four seasoned Kansas City Star reporters went behind the scenes to document what was going through the minds of the principal players in the Carnahan-Ashcroft race. The series makes clear that the media was often in catchup mode. Political reporters were as befuddled as their sources. No one looked terribly comfortable throughout the campaign's final two weeks, in which one candidate refused to stump and the other pulled all of his patented attack ads off TV.
I'll supply links to Tuesday's and Wednesday's articles below when they're available. Or visit kcstar.com for yourself.
"The Campaign Nobody Wanted": Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
********
Not until after I wrote the review of "2-Minute Drill" below and received a reply from Jim Jividen did I realize that one of the three contestants in the championship round was a longtime TV Barn reader. It was Jividen who won his semifinal round, then thrilled everyone by correctly answering the bonus question related to his specialty, the 1958 San Francisco Giants. (He remembered which two players on that ballclub missed time that season due to military service.)
Anyway, I persuaded Jividen to write a behind-the-scenes account of his time on "2-Minute Drill," so look for that right here beginning Tuesday.
********
Electronic Media, the trade weekly to which I contribute a monthly column, is out with the results of its semi-annual TV critics' poll. Normally I participate, though I had a good excuse for skipping this time. Anyway, it appears my vote would've been meaningless. I would not have rated "Ed" any higher than third which is where it wound up in the EM poll and nothing I said or did could've stopped "The West Wing" from being named best show of the season.
Which, of course, is nonsense. The best television show throughout 2000 has indisputably been "Late Show with David Letterman."
The EM critics' top ten shows:
1. The West Wing NBC
2. Malcolm in the Middle Fox
3. Ed NBC
4. Gilmore Girls WB
5. Law & Order NBC
6. Buffy the Vampire Slayer WB
7. The Simpsons Fox
8. Once and Again ABC
9. Will & Grace NBC
10. Sex and the City HBO
And bottom five shows:
1. The Michael Richards Show NBC
2. Tucker NBC
3. Yes, Dear CBS
4. Normal, Ohio Fox
5. The Trouble with Normal ABC
Of these five shows, only "Yes, Dear" still survives. And don't count on it going away, either; it's proven to be a perfect fit for the hammock space between "The King of Queens" and "Everybody Loves Raymond" Mondays on CBS.
********
Mike James, the editor of the brilliant News Blues Web site, announced he will be charging subscription fees for access beginning today. We think it's well worth the $12.95 semi-annual dues to tap into the most complete resource for professionals inside the TV news business as well as for those who cover it or can't read enough about it.
But decide for yourself: Subscribe to the free-of-charge News Bluezette, with morning-fresh reports from around the industry and an added bonus: trenchant commentaries from James himself. He's a 25-year veteran of local TV news and a shrewd observer of the business (as suggested by the Hunter S. Thompson quote that adorns the News Blues home page).
********
Finally, some reader mail regarding my review of "Red Dwarf," most of which came from longtime fans of the sci-fi Britcom.
M-D November (aka The Critic) writes, "It's too bad you didn't ask Zippy (whatever happened to him, anyway?) about 'Red Dwarf,' or you might have been able to get a more accurate impression of the show than the two episodes you watched provided you. (Also, you could have gone to any video store that carries 'Red Dwarf' it has been available on VHS for years, with series 8 showing up in the stores shortly after its PBS run earlier this year.)"
Several good points here worth elaborating on: Yes, the show is in better video stores, and yes, superior public-TV stations in the U.S. have aired "Red Dwarf" episodes, like the station that C.D. Thomas watches in Denver. "When I despair of the senseless narrative tangle 'Xena' has gotten itself into hitwoman for God? yay? and the witlessness of the Canadian SF product Saturday night is saddled with, I refresh myself with 'Red Dwarf' and pray that one day SF makers in America realize that money isn't everything imagination is," she writes.
It's also true that there's a lot more to the series than "Gunmen of the Apocalypse." Fortunately, if you missed this weekend's BBC America marathon, you'll have plenty more chances to see "Red Dwarf." Episodes will continue airing Fridays at 8 beginning this week on BBC America. Undoubtedly the marathon will be repeated several times in the near future so those of you currently without this cable channel can get up to light speed when it's added to your local system.
There's also an indispensable FAQ file with much more background on "Red Dwarf." As for whatever happened to Zippy, he decided to suspend weekly publication of his SF Loft shortly before I got sick. You can still find him online at weimar.ws.
By the way, an earlier version of my "Red Dwarf" review erroneously linked "Frasier" star Jane Leeves to the series. She was actually cast in the 1992 American TV pilot for "Red Dwarf" that never made it to network. (Han Huie writes, "Only in America would they do a remake and still cast a British actor!")
(1/1/2001)
Fevered cabin
Up here in the snow lodge a/k/a the quarantine, a/k/a the converted attic where all one can see are white-capped rooftops and barren frosted tree branches, the clutter of the universe is magically wiped away. No distracting telephone calls. No annoying doctors telling you what you already know, like the unnecessarily cheery M.D. who walked into my room the day and declared, "Your counts are going south!" Nope, nothing to do but rummage through two black skyscrapers of preview tapes; answer some e-mail; and maybe tap a little doggerel into the computer.
Oh the boss would rather you were in Schenectady
But instead you're here right next to me
Snuggled into our abode in Buffalo
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
This weekend marks my fourth anniversary as a daily TV critic, and in that time the most dramatic change I've noticed is the amount of new programming launched in January. For this we can thank, or blame, the cable industry. No longer is June the only month for rolling out original cable programs. Cable knows it doesn't have to duck a fight with broadcast anymore (and besides, cable is no longer an either-or proposition at Viacom, Disney, Fox and NBC).
Combine the onslaught of new cable shows with the usual motley lot of midseason offerings from the broadcast networks and it's fair to say that three weeks of the new year have become TV's second fall season. And that's without PBS, which will also be a force to be reckoned with as it rolls out "Jazz," the eight-night, 19-hour documentary from Ken Burns that starts Jan. 8.
But it only stands to reason that for every January there must be a December. Fortunately, the sporting world has supplied more than enough entertainment to get me through umpteen Christmas specials and the 20th rerun of BET's 20th anniversary bash. "Monday Night Football," for instance, has furnished one spellbinding game after the next and forced me to revise my opinion of booth trio Al Michaels, Dan Fouts and Dennis Miller. I wrote in BUTV 2000 that funnyman Miller's real value to "MNF" was that he could entice viewers to keep watching, "even after the outcome of the game is no longer in serious doubt." After listening to them call the heart-stopping contest between the St. Louis Rams and Tampa Bay Buccaneers a 38-35 scorefest won by the Bucs in the last minute I've changed my mind. These guys may or may not be able to save a bad game, but they absolutely make a great game better. "MNF" is proof that TV has the ability, when the circumstances are right, to elevate even the inherently dramatic.
Another sports highlight has been the surprising "2-Minute Drill" on ESPN. This half-hour quiz program from game-show impresario Michael "Millionaire" Davies looked like a Guy Thing from the start. But even Mrs. TV Barn couldn't pull herself away from the thrilling final round of the first "2-Minute" tournament that aired Christmas Day. A 25-year-old sports nut from Columbus named Will Gibson answered more than 40 trivia questions in two rounds, or one every six seconds. Gibson got 37 of them right, besting two other opponents to take home first prize of $50,000.
If you stayed to the end, you were treated to the bizarre spectacle of host Kenny Mayne walking over to award Gibson his oversized bowling trophy and falling flat on his face. Now, you'd think something like that would be excised for later use in a blooper reel, but no. The pratfall aired for all to see, along with the bemused reactions of Marcus Camby and Mike Golic, two of the celebrity question-askers. So was it Mayne's call to leave the outtake in? Almost certainly. As you may recall from John Christensen's account on TV Barn, producer Davies is forever editing out gaffes and goofs by "Millionaire" host Regis Philbin. Mayne was surely afforded the same luxury but declined, possibly to enhance his image as an unreconstructed geek, or possibly because Mayne, in addition to being one of the most distinctive people in broadcasting today, is a standup dude who takes his lumps and moves on.
*******
After years of hearing about it from their British and Canadian friends, or begging for videotapes off the Internet, stateside fans of the BBC's sci-fi comedy "Red Dwarf" will finally get to see all 52 episodes provided their cable or satellite provider carries BBC America.
Starting 8 p.m. Friday, BBC America will air nothing but "Red Dwarf" for three days straight. Befitting the marathon's title, "2001: A Space Oddity," the episodes will air in reverse order, starting with the eighth "series" (from 1999) and working back to the first series that aired in 1988. For many of us, it will be our first encounter with Lister, Rimmer, Cat, Holly and the other fellow-travelers aboard Red Dwarf, a 3-million-year-old spaceship that is wandering more or less purposefully back to Earth.
The sets will remind you of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and, despite what the press packet says about the "award-winning" special effects, the ones I saw looked laughably cheap. What sets "Red Dwarf" apart are its hugely imaginative scripts. They envision a dystopic future, one in which humans have yet to find any other intelligent life in the universe other than themselves and even that's a dubious claim.
Our hero is a slacking nitwit named Lister (Craig Charles), who had the luck, if one can call it that, of being the only crew member to survive a devastating attack on his ship. He is out for a long time 30,000 centuries to be exact and awakens to find himself captain of a rickety vessel still being guided by Holly, the ship's doddering internal computer. Holly decides that the revived Lister will need company, so she chooses a deceased fellow crew member and creates a living hologram of him. In a colossal blunder, Holly chooses Rimmer, who is only slightly more competent than Lister and even less attractive. We know he's a hologram because there's a glittery letter "H" on his forehead. These two mopes are later joined by an android with an origami-shaped head and a cat who has somehow mutated into a human and mainly occupies itself with wardrobe changes.
I've watched two episodes, no doubt specially chosen for TV critics, but they give a good idea of the satirical flair that has made "Red Dwarf" a fan favorite in England. In one, the human, hologram and cat use a virtual-reality game to come to the robot's rescue; this episode, "Gunmen of the Apocalypse," is justifiably considered a "Red Dwarf" classic. In the other, Rimmer's smarter half, Ace Rimmer, suddenly arrives from another dimension. He shows himself to be everything the hologram is not handsome, heroic and remarkably good at engine repair.
If none of this makes any sense, all the more reason to get yourself to the nearest VCR and BBC America this weekend. I didn't really get "Red Dwarf" until I saw it. I still can't say I get it, but at least I understand why jaded fans of sci-fi TV find this show such a pleasure.
*******
Why is it, when watching those Blue Man Group ads for the Pentium III processor, I don't think "the power of three" but rather, "Why are the first two guys always trying to cripple the third?"
And while we're on the ad front, did you hear about the Amazon.com "Sweatermen" ad that was deemed too hot for TV? If you've got a high-speed connection, or a dialup and plenty of time on your hands, you can watch the rejected ad here. (UPDATE: The ronlim.com site is back online after maxxing out its server load on Friday. If the "500 Server Error" message comes up, wait a day and try again.)
*******
Finally, despite the pronouncements of Dr. Happyface, let me assure one and all that there's nothing to worry about yet in those blood counts. We've still got six weeks to go before we make it through the recovery period as measured by the clinical trials. And while it's true many patients recover in three to four weeks, many patients also weren't as sick as I was. Any way you look at it, winter is still a ways from being over. (12/28/2000)
Blah
Who knows why I'm in a funk these days? Maybe it's because I've entered week five since chemotherapy and my blood counts are still at rock bottom. Or maybe it's just that I'm going through "Indecision 2000" withdrawal.
I'll be a man and admit it: I miss those nutty cable news reporters doing their live shots from Tallahassee. If I heard one of them use "dimple" in a sentence, I'd forget I had anything more serious than a bad case of the giggles. There was the simple pleasure of heading for the icebox each time someone mentioned Justice Breyer. And how about the time MSNBC punched up that C-SPAN-quality audiotape of the Supreme Court with its headshot grid? I've tried watching "Match Game" reruns, but it's not the same!
On the other hand, maybe the low blood counts(*) are to blame after all. Nothing to be alarmed at we have other signs that the chemo is indeed doing its job but still. Did any doctor tell me at the outset that six weeks from now we'd be waiting for the recovery to start? No way. Results in three weeks, four at the max, was what I kept hearing. So why the delay? From what I've since been told, my system was swimming with hairy cells, more so than other patients, and it's just taking longer to get rid of them. After spending most of the summer and fall being bombarded by rebel cells, my bone marrow needs time to get its blood-cell-making operations back to full speed. In the meantime, as I told a colleague, I feel like I'm at 80 percent for about 20 percent of the day.
But I'm cheered every day as more good wishes continue arriving in my mailbox, along with promises from many of you to give blood soon. Reader Cheryl Riedel, who lost a girlfriend recently to a more virulent form of leukemia, writes, "I'd often thought about donating blood and never seemed to get around to it until my girlfriend needed massive amounts of blood and platelet transfusions. It's just one of those things a person doesn't tend to give much thought to until it happens to someone close. I donated on her behalf for the first time last January and now I donate every chance I get. It's such a simple and important thing that most of us can do and don't." Especially right now with the holidays and a lingering cold snap conspiring to keep many regular donors away from the blood banks.
A friend at Disney responds politely to the charge (see earlier irate letter below) that ABC stretched the movie "A Few Good Men" to three hours just to sell more commercial time. "Reader E.J., who apparently hails from Southern California, should know that 'A Few Good Men' aired locally on KABC in Los Angeles, not nationally on ABC. The network aired a prime-time college football game from 5-8 p.m. Pacific time, leaving West Coast stations to fend for themselves afterward. And neither ABC nor KABC was involved in the editing of the movie. That task went to Columbia Pictures, which sold the syndicated version to stations nationwide. Most syndicated movies air as 2-hour presentations; 3-hour syndie flicks are rare but not unheard of. In fact, NBC aired 'A Few Good Men' in a 3-hour slot several times. I'd be surprised if Aaron Sorkin (who wrote the movie's screenplay) wasn't involved in some level with the editing of the syndicated version."
Speaking of Sorkin and his smug serial "The West Wing," reader Anthony Foglia writes, "Consider me the first 'West Wing' fan to write in who didn't like the scene in which President Bartlet attacks the Dr. Laura character. It was 'West Wing' at its worst, one-sided and heavy-handed. The only comparably bad scene occurred in the first season, when Toby tried to defend a bill on census sampling by quoting to a history teacher the part of the Constitution stating slaves would each be counted as three-fifths of a person. A terribly unsound argument, which of course went unrefuted, since that would knock Sorkin off his soapbox." And then there was the scene from the pilot episode in which Bartlet corrects a fundamentalist minister who has gotten the first and second commandments mixed up. Now imagine an ACLU attorney confusing the First and Second Amendments to the Constitution. (Thanks to Christine Bielinski for pointing out that Sorkin cribbed the "Dr. Laura" diatribe from a widely-circulated e-mail.)
Finally, if you're a Michael Moore fan like I am, but you don't have Bravo like I do, then you've been missing out on the latest incarnation of "Roger and Me," Moore's crusading and often bitingly funny television show "The Awful Truth." Good news: The first season of "The Awful Truth" is now out in VHS and DVD.
In reviewing "The Awful Truth" last year I wrote, "The centerpiece of this weekend's premiere episode is a mock funeral for a man who will die if his HMO doesn't let him get a pancreas transplant. Grim subject matter, but pulled off with black humor and the right amounts of poignancy and outrage. ... And for those who've grown accustomed to the spectacle of Moore mau-mauing the flack catchers, his confrontation of a Humana factotum is out there even by his standards." And there's much more where that came from, along with never-before-seen outtakes. All told, nearly five hours of poli-tainment at stores near you and online.
(*) My hemoglobin has hovered between 8 and 10, thanks mainly to transfusions. (Normal is 13.5-16.5 for men; when I was admitted to the ER with a Hb count of 4.9, various members of the medical staff expressed amazement I walked in on my own power.) My white blood count is well below 1,000. When you're below 1,500 you're considered neutropenic; normal is at least 4,500. And my platelet count, which had been moving upward from its nadir of 12,000, took a hit this week from 64,000 to 44,000 (normal is at least 150,000). Though platelets serve the vital function of getting blod to clot, restoring them to the body is not as easy as ordering a transfusion.
(12/21/2000)
Executive decision
With tongue hopefully in cheek, Washington Post TV columnist Lisa de Moraes chided NBC Thursday for having the gall to pre-empt a tear-jerking holiday episode of "The West Wing" the night before to show Al Gore's concession speech.
NBC's last-minute schedule shuffle also bumped a holiday-themed "Ed" so as to accommodate the swift denouement of the real-life presidential drama. A repeat of "West Wing" aired at 8, followed by Gore's speech at 9 and what de Moraes called George W. Bush's "Victory Lap 2" address to the Texas Legislature at 10.
How, de Moraes wrote in her carpy diem, could covering these real-life speeches "be allowed to take precedence over NBC's broadcast of 'The West Wing' our preferred, fictional presidency"?
But what she and every other TV reporter seemed to miss was the most delicious detail of all. NBC did not just slap any old "West Wing" episode into the 8 o'clock slot. It picked the perfect rerun to air on the night that the two leading combatants in the nation's most even-steven general election addressed the nation.
The episode, entitled "The Midterms," whips us through several months of a bitterly-fought midterm election cycle, complete with all of the usual manufactured dramatic twists that make "West Wing," depending on your point of view, either one of the most shamelessly contrived TV shows in history or one of the most brilliant. Rob Lowe recruits an old friend to run for Congress, then is forced to dump him after problems arise in his record as a district attorney. Richard Schiff can't shake the trauma of last season's phony-baloney assassination attempt. And on election night, President Martin Sheen chews out a radio shrink in front of her fellow broadcasters; even by the pedantic standards of "The West Wing" the tirade is a full swinging sucker-punch, a fusillade of 20 cheap shots fired out rat-a-tat-tat at a handy right-wing straw person. (Of course, every "West Wing" fan I've mentioned this scene to loved it.)
But the clincher comes in the final scene. "You're not going to believe it," says Lowe as he reports to his fellow White House aides that for all the campaigning, all the money, the election results produced no change in either house of Congress.
There's a pause, and then Josh (Bradley Whitford) finally says, "Tell me democracy doesn't have a sense of humor."
Then comes the icing on the cake: The aides raise their beer bottles and say, "God bless America" the same hokey refrain that Bush and Gore and probably every presidential candidate from now till the Rapture will use when they sign off.
I have to admit that NBC's choice of rerun was so exquisite that this inveterate "West Wing" pooh-pooher watched it a second time. Of course, it was that or "Hardball."
(The scheduled "Ed" and "West Wing" episodes will air next Wednesday.)
***
Not that I recommend catching the rerun of this one, but if you saw Monday's "Boston Public" on Fox, you saw a storyline in which Joey Slotnick, who plays an English teacher on the show, dumps or is dumped by his fiancee after he meets a younger woman a student, it turns out who releases Slotnick's sexual tiger from its figurative cage.
If this sounds at all vaguely familiar, that's because it almost perfectly replicates the 1997 movie "Dinner and Driving," in which an English teacher played by Joey Slotnick dumps or is dumped by his fiancee after he meets up with an old college flame who releases ... well, I don't like to repeat metaphors so I won't, but you get the drift.
If I were "Boston Public" creator David E. Kelley, I'd apologize not for lifting the storyline from a movie but for lifting the storyline from such a piece-of-trash movie as "Dinner and Driving."
***
Tom Roche attended a taping of "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher" last week and reports: "Maher's monologue began with a line that sort of went It looks like Bush will be our next president at which point a cadre of Dittoheads in the audience began clapping and whooping. Maher calmly waited for them to finish, then said, "We're going to stop, and start that joke again, because that sort of extended outburst is boring to America as it celebrates the news we are about to get four years of a dickhead!" Reports Tom, "The cadre was less noisy from then on. At least Maher doesn't claim to be non-partisan like all the other clearly partisan participants do."
***
Finally, many of you have written to me saying, "If there's anything I can do, just ask." Well, here's something you can do that would mean a lot to me: Give blood today. Community blood centers around the country are experiencing shortages as the winter weather has cut down on the number of regular donors walking through their doors. In Kansas City, for example, donations are down by one-third this week and shortages are already being reported. Fortunately, I got my two units of O-positive on Wednesday (that type is in short supply even in good times, according to my blood center's Web site). Someone else may not be so lucky. So give, please, and thanks in advance. (12/15/2000)
Notes from the night shift
All better now. The itching has stopped and I am sleeping through the night again. When I checked into the ER last month, I had no allergies; now, through the generosity of the hospital's medical team, I have five. 'Tis the season for giving, I suppose, but if anybody tries giving me the flu, I'll throttle them.
More than two years after a different set of executives promised that NBC would begin experimenting with its unique late-late-night venue, it's finally coming to pass. The network announced last week that "Friday Night," f/k/a "Friday Night Videos," was no more. A couple of days after that, the other shoe dropped: "Later," the half-hour interview show launched by Bob Costas and Dick Ebersol in 1988, would be replaced at the end of the year.
"Friday Night," frequently hosted by comedian Rita Sever who, we'll mention for the very last time, is married to one of the NBC executives who oversees "Friday Night," Gary Considine will be replaced by a comedy showcase featuring rising young comics. The new program debuts Jan. 5; last "Friday Night" is Dec. 29.
The "Later" time slot will be used to launch "experimental comedy programs," according to Variety. This tracks perfectly the thinking of Warren Littlefield when I asked him in 1998 about the future of the "Later" time period. Even then, it seemed like the show had been treading water forever, with a steady succession of dead-end guest hosts and a stuck-in-time format.
"We need more lab space," Littlefield said. "I think we can play with alternate forms in that time period. It can be our off-Broadway theater, if you will."
Funny, but didn't NBC Studios chief Ted Harbert just say the same thing? He did.
"We consider this time period a laboratory to experiment with an idea or a personality that could perhaps find its way to primetime," Harbert told Variety last week.
Which means that NBC has no intention of creating its own Comedy Central-like danger zone, where performers will be given considerably wider license to offend, talk dirty and generally push the line out of TV-14 and into TV-MA territory. Which means that "South Park" creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone and their foul-mouthed kin are unlikely to do anything other than walk past 30 Rockefeller Center for the foreseeable future. (Unless, of course, NBC has a grand plan it's not sharing with us for turning its prime time schedule into the blue room.)
Still, there's lots of upside to NBC's move, not least of which is economic. Networks are under intense pressure to do something about the cost of developing programs. The late-late show's low profile will allow NBC to create and air pilots for a fraction of the cost of a prime-time pilot. Don't be surprised if the 1:35 a.m. showcase features mostly no-name talent, first-time TV writers and videotaped (as opposed to filmed) episodes.
Another plus is that the time period is one of the very few in television thought to be ratings-proof. Though I haven't averaged the Nielsens lately last week's overnights for "Later" ranged from 1.3/7 on Tuesday to 1.9/10 on Thursday the trend since the Costas years has been one of steady and steadily climbing viewership. But because the metrics are so low to begin with, there's been no way for NBC to know whether one night's broadcast registered better with viewers than another. The only indicator of how "Later" will score on any given night has always been its lead-in, which in most markets is "Conan O'Brien."
Which brings us to the most compelling reason for the 1:35 switch. Captive audience! Lots of young kids who are up anyway, either watching "Conan," Comedy or MTV. They've been there for years but NBC executives in their corporate timidity have either failed to reach out to them or else deluded themselves into thinking talk was the only format that worked at that hour.
That's changed, and whether you credit forward-mindedness or just plain desperation the latter if you believe everything you read in trade journals it's finally sunk in at NBC that "Later" will never recover from the loss of Bobby C. The show's current rent-a-host, Cynthia Garrett, is a fine talent. But opportunity will knock again for her soon enough. Besides, she's beholden to NBC competitor Viacom, which has plenty of cable outlets for developing talent on the cheap. Could be that "Rock 'n' Roll Jeopardy!" will need a new host next year. I hear it's an excellent career move.
***
You may have read that Hoyt Curtin, who composed many famous theme songs for your favorite animated classics like "The Flintstones" and "The Jetsons," died Dec. 3 at the age of 78. Longtime reader Amid Amidi attended Curtin's funeral and salutes him on his site, Animation Blast.
***
Finally, the Kansas City Community Blood Center which supplies an estimated 98 percent of all blood to area hospitals and furnished yours truly with eight units of blood and three units of platelets during the past month is, pardon the expression, in the red. Namely, it's run up a $5 million debt in recent years, a result of operating expenses that exceed what the nonprofit makes on the blood it sells. The debt is hampering the blood center's ability to upgrade its equipment and ultimately threatens its long-term survival. Whatever would take its place wouldn't necessarily be an improvement; until recently the Kansas City area suffered chronic blood shortages.
As someone whose life was saved by donated blood, I can't think of a worthier charity this holiday season. Here's the URL and if you decide to give, be sure you mention my name. (12/12/2000)
Rhymes with bitch
I've got a great bunch of doctors looking after me but so far they're just 1 out of 3 in predicting the side effects of the chemotherapy I took for my leukemia. They told me about the likelihood of that most onamontopaeic of symptoms bone pain and in fact my knee joints are pretty sore. They also warned of possible nausea, headaches and flu-like symptoms, which thankfully seem to have missed me.
But I don't recall them mentioning either insomnia, which has turned my days into nights and vice versa, or my other side effect: that at any given time, at any given place on the upper half of my body, I itch. In fact, you could merge the two symptoms and just say that I can't get to sleep because there's never a time when I'm not either scratching myself or putting out the fire caused by scratching myself.
Is this more information than you were hoping to read? Well, then, enough of my problems. Let's talk about the Florida recount.
Okay, so back to my problems ...
Actually, staying up all night has had its unexpected benefits. I've watched more movies in the last week than I did in a year of moviegoing. I finally got to see "The Insider" (playing all week on the Starz! Cinema channel), and I must say that only someone with the insatiable egomania of Mike Wallace could possibly find fault in the balanced, three-dimensional if somewhat fictionalized portrayal of his role in CBS' handling of the Jeffrey Wigand "60 Minutes" interview. "The Insider" is just a great movie, imaginatively shot, with peerless acting and above all, a helluva story to tell. And if Michael Mann embellished too much for Wallace's taste, surely he did not fail to capture the spirit of CBS News at its nadir. Besides, only a handful of people can say they had Christopher Plummer play them in the movies. If HBO had done "The Insider," Rip Torn would've put on prosthetic jowls to play Wallace ...
You'll want to be on time when "Ed", the best new show of the season, makes its long-awaited move to Wednesdays at 8 tonight on NBC. In the opening scene, Ed Stevens (Tom Cavanagh) realizes it's time to move out of his friends' house and find a place of his own. The way he comes to this realization is not only very funny to watch, you might want to take notes and use the tactic someday on an unwelcome roommate. The rest of the episode is worth watching, too, though its treatment of a gay relationship is predictably ham-handed. With the arrival of "Queer as Folk," the full-contact Showtime series about gay life, it just doesn't make sense to uh-uh-uh your way through a simple outing the way "Ed" does. To the writer's and producers' credit, it's only one of several storylines ...
The XFL can't come soon enough for reader E.J. Campbell, who is disgusted with NBC's (and ABC's) Saturday movie nights: "I couldn't believe that ABC would attempt to squeeze 'A Few Good Men,' a 130-minute movie, into two hours while NBC stretched 'The Arrival,' a 109-minute movie, over three hours. I don't which was worse: the butchering of 'A Few Good Men' or NBC's making its audience sit through an hour of commercials. The networks managed to ruin both movies. And the advertisers that paid for spots during the commercial hell that was 'The Arrival' should demand their money back" ...
And finally, thanks to all of you who wrote wishing me well. I've gotten hundreds of cards and e-mails from readers, so forgive me if I haven't replied to you yet. I have, however, read them all and am touched who wouldn't be? by all the affection. (12/6/2000)
Put a sock in it
Pets.com may be going out of business, but the failed pet-supply e-tailer is hoping someone will want to pay money for its infamous "spokespuppet." Yes, the Pets.com sock puppet is for sale.
In the spokespuppet's brief life Pets.com tried to make it synonymous with e-tailing. But it became better known instead as the mascot for "instant branding" that idiotic concept by which millions of Americans would magically shift their brand loyalties to an unproven Internet company simply on the strength of a multi-million-dollar ad campaign.
And as TV Barn readers were the first to know, the Pets.com spokespuppet also became known for the ridiculous litigation its masters filed against comedy writer Robert Smigel. The trade libel and defamation suit cited Smigel's claims that the sock puppet was a ripoff of his own puppet, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. The lawsuit reaped big steaming piles of publicity for Smigel and Triumph, but didn't stop Pets.com stock from plummeting to the 10-cent-per-share level.
Asked if Triumph's owner was planning to slap a lien on Pets.com for any revenue it might procure from the sale of its spokespuppet, a lawyer for Smigel told The New York Times you must be kidding. "I don't think that we would be pursuing a claim for any share of the money that Pets.com might get for that sock puppet," said Roger R. Myers, a lawyer for Steinhart and Falconer, a San Francisco firm that represents Smigel. "It's hard to see that there would be much value in the rights to that character. It's associated with Pets.com. It carries around a Pets.com microphone."
On a more positive note, I notice that a new batch of those wonderful Amazon.com holiday TV ads have begun airing. Somewhere in ultimate cyberspace, Mitch Miller is smiling. (11/27/2000)
Picks to click
During my convalescence I've been watching my review cassettes pretty much the way you would for pleasure. Still, I wouldn't feel right if I didn't point out two terrific programs that will be airing this week.
The acclaimed documentary "The Eyes of Tammy Faye" makes its pay-cable debut at 8:30 p.m. Tuesday on Cinemax. Filmmakers Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato did more than paint an unusually sympathetic portrait of former televangelists Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker. This film shows how the Bakkers were broadcasting pioneers and were instrumental in creating not one, but three of the greatest empires in religious television today: Pat Robertson's "700 Club," the Trinity Broadcasting Network and the "PTL Club." It is that latter program and the subsequent kingdom on earth the Bakkers built around PTL, including million-selling records, a hugely popular theme park and a satellite TV network that eventually landed the couple in one of broadcasting's biggest and least understood scandals.
It's a tribute to Bailey and Barbato that they manage to explain this scandal to outsiders; even more impressive, they actually persuade us that the Bakkers, who earned millions and millions of dollars during the peak of their popularity, were the victims in the "PTL" scandal. Jim Bakker, of course, wasn't blameless, and he freely confesses his sins in interviews here (he and Tammy Faye divorced years ago but still stick up for each other). But you also get the feeling that the fleecer was himself being fleeced by shrewder shepherds than himself notably Jerry Falwell, whose intervention in the "PTL" mess was seen at the time as an act of mercy but is depicted here as a power play with one goal in mind: to get the Bakkers' satellite in the hands of Falwell's "Old Time Gospel Hour."
As for Tammy Faye, in the filmmakers' eyes she can do no wrong. On the other hand, it's hard not to shed a tear for the mascara-wracked chanteuse who emerged from childhood poverty to become one of the Bible Belt's most beloved celebrities. "The Eyes of Tammy Faye" faithfully recreates the milieu of the 1970s and '80s that made the Bakkers possible and argues for a reconsideration of the much-mocked Tammy Faye, whose personal ordeal is made no less compelling by the fact that $25 gifts from the likes of your Aunt Pearl are what made her rich.
"Half Past Autumn," a beautifully textured documentary on the life of photographer Gordon Parks, debuts 9 p.m. Thursday on HBO. Made with the cooperation of Parks, the 90-minute film takes us through one of the great American lives. It began in poverty and racism near Ft. Scott, Kan., when Parks, the youngest of 15 children, set off for St. Paul following the death of his mother. That led to a chance encounter with a camera that set off a lifetime of creativity, the output of which is astonishing for its breadth and expressiveness.
There were the photo essays in Life, of course; but also the pathbreaking film "Shaft," the award-winning autobiographical novel The Learning Tree, orchestral works, jazz compositions and paintings. To which must now be added this indispensable film. (11/27/2000)
What's ailing me
I went to the ER two weeks ago with a fever and disorientation and within a few hours was diagnosed with hairy cell leukemia, a rare form of the blood cancer and one which responds well to treatment. Almost immediately I began a 7-day regimen of chemotherapy that in most cases is enough to knock out the disease for good. We'll know for sure in the next few weeks as my blood counts hopefully return to healthy levels. Until then, because my white cell counts are practically zilch, I'm on a carefully moderated diet and am staying pretty much quarantined in my house so I don't get infected.
I'll post more on my progress soon. Right now I'm just resting up, doing some reading and as you can tell tinkering with my Web site. (11/26/2000)
A new look
TV Barn is adopting the Blogger format. It's my hope that Blogger a wildly popular new method for composing Web logs will relieve me of the tasks of hand-coding each day's page and manually keeping archives and will make it easier for me to cite material from the wires. Also, I've come to appreciate the top-down chronological approach used by Jim Romenesko on his Media News and Obscure Store sites, and Blogger allows me to mimic that format easily.
To permanently link to any TV Barn post, simply copy the URL embedded in the date at the end of each entry. (11/21/2000)
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>>> The Fall 1999 Season
New show
New time
Unchanged
NBC
CBS
ABC
Fox
WB
UPN
Sunday
7:00
Dateline
60 Minutes
Wonderful World of Disney
Malcolm in the Middle
7th Heaven Beginnings
7:30
King of the Hill
8:00
Third Watch
Touched by an Angel
The Simpsons
Felicity
8:30
Futurama
9:00
Movie
Movie
Snoops
The X-Files
Jack And Jill
9:30
10:00
The Practice
10:30
Monday
8:00
Suddenly Susan
King of Queens
20/20
Time of Your Life
7th Heaven
Moesha
8:30
Veronica's Closet
Ladies Man
Mo'Nique
9:00
Law & Order Special Victims Unit
Everybody Loves Raymond
Monday Night Football
Ally McBeal
Safe Harbor
The Grown-Ups
9:30
Becker
Malcolm & Eddie
10:00
Dateline
Family Law
10:30
Tuesday
8:00
Just Shoot Me
JAG
Spin City
Ally
Buffy
Dilbert
8:30
3rd Rock
It's like, you know...
That 70's Show
Shasta McNasty
9:00
Will & Grace
60 Minutes II
Dharma & Greg
Party of Five
Angel
Secret Agent Man
9:30
Mike O'Malley Show
Sports Night
10:00
Dateline
Judging Amy
NYPD Blue
10:30
Wed
8:00
Dateline
Cosby
Two Guys...
Beverly Hills 90210
Dawson's Creek
7 Days
8:30
Work With Me
The Norm Show
9:00
The West Wing
Movie
Drew Carey
Get Real
Roswell
Star Trek Voyager
9:30
Oh Grow Up
10:00
Law & Order
20/20
10:30
Thursday
8:00
Friends
Diagnosis Murder
Whose Line Is It
Wildest Police Videos (thru Dec.)
Popular
WWF Smackdown
8:30
Jesse
Then Came You
9:00
Frasier
Chicago Hope
Wasteland
Family Guy
Charmed
9:30
Stark Raving Mad
Action
10:00
ER
48 Hours
20/20
10:30
Friday
8:00
Providence
Kids Say
Hughleys
Ryan Caulfield
Mission Hill
Movie
8:30
Love or Money
Boy Meets World
For Your Love
9:00
Dateline
Now and Again
Sabrina
Harsh Realm
Steve Harvey
9:30
Odd Man Out
Jamie Foxx
10:00
Cold Feet
Nash Bridges
20/20
10:30
Saturday
8:00
Freaks & Geeks
Early Edition
Movie
Cops
8:30
Cops II
9:00
Pretender
Martial Law
America's Most Wanted
9:30
10:00
Profiler
Walker Texas Ranger
10:30
New show
New time
Unchanged
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>>> Aaron Barnhart's TVBARN.COM
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NBC
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"
Sex crimes from headlines
(repeats in a few days on
USA Network)
"The Michael O'Malley Show"
Home Improvement-ish
Boy-man decides to grow up
Please watch, it's "Must See!"
"Cold Feet"
Love when you're "Gen-X"
Dating, preggers, and toddlers
Based on a Brit-com
"Freaks And Geeks"
D & D'ers and
other nerds of the species
in "that 80's show"
"Stark Raving Mad"
Steven Kingish hack
has nightmare of his own; his
boss is Doogie Howser
"The West Wing"
Martin Sheen, Rob Lowe
"SportsNight" Sorkin's White House (can
you say Lewinsky?)
"Third Watch"
Hot paramedics
Hunky firefighters
Adorable cops
ABC
"Wasteland"
Dawson's Creator
NYC Gen-X against
Fraiser. Don't get hooked.
"Once and Again"
2 straight Divorcees
Sela Ward, Bill Campbell from
thirtysomething guys
"Odd Man Out"
Pimply teen yucks it
up as a young John Ritter
living amongst dames
"Oh, Grow Up"
Yet another smart
urbane sophisticated
premise. (Not!) Boy-man.
"Snoops"
Cupid's shrink Paula
and Gina Gershon are two
Ally McTectives
"Then Came You"
Love, and repartee
in a hotel. Didn't this
fail with Tim Curry?
WB
"Angel"
Richard Grieco-ish
spinoff without all Buffy
the Vampire's layers
"The Downtowners"
Gotta wonder how
it took them this long to do
"Friends: the Cartoon" (sigh.)
"Jack & Jill"
He's Jill, she's Jack. And
their parents are idiots
naming them like this.
"Popular"
Though their parents get
engaged, Life Goes On for these
Barbies in blue jeans
"Roswell"
Alienation?
Turns out the teens ain't human -
Alien Nation
"Safe Harbor"
Sorry but I won't
watch a show that says it stars
Rue McClanahan
CBS
"Family Law"
Her hubby's a schmuck
he fled with all her clients
it's Marital Law!
"Judging Amy"
To Grandmother's house...
a Providencial tale from
Amy Brenneman
"Ladies Man"
A guy and his dolls
Didn't we just try this and
fail with Conrad Bloom?
"Love or Money"
Class struggles, giggles
Spoiled rich girl has affair with
guy who's just "Super"
"Now and Again"
"Gentlemen, we can
rebuild him" but he returns
to his widow - Oy!
"Work With Me"
As married lawyers
Nancy Travis, Kev Pollack
aren't done courting yet
UPN
"Grown Ups"
Urkel's back! Can we
please let him wear new outfits
each week? Can we, huh?
"Mo'Nique"
Unfortunately
they used all their best writing
on this lame title
"Secret Agent Man"
Still more Men in Black
flow from Barry Sonnenfeld
Will they get "jiggy?"
"Shasta McNasty"
They're just so dreamy.
Can you tell them apart? Sigh!
(Fresh Step : the Sitcom)
"World Wrestling Federation's Smackdown!"
What the guys on "Friends"
will probably be watching...
instead of their show
Fox
FOX's new fall TV series, rendered in Haiku:
''Action''
Will Illeana
Douglas earn enough film laughs
with Jay Mohr (or less)
"Ally"
T'would seem the only
real problem was trying to
make McBeal thinner
"Get Real"
Life Goes On but for
a family without a
Downs syndrome kid
''Malcolm in the Middle''
Whiz kid only 9
in a white version of "Smart
Guy." Cancel me now.
''Manchester Prep"
Those evil rich teens
return in a prequel to
flick "Cruel Intentions"
"Ryan Caulfield,''
He's Holden a gun
So who cares that he's so young
NYPDoogie?
"Time Of Your Life"
PO5 spins off
its heroine to New York
(to do heroin.)
-- Tom Heald
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Kansas City morning radio
I profiled our seven most-listened-to morning radio shows for the Kansas City Star:
Column archive
Beginning Oct. 30, 1999, my radio and TV columns were combined into a new catch-all column, "On the Air":
Read my recent "On the Air" columns:
- Sept. 2, 2000
- Aug. 12, 2000
- Aug. 5, 2000 (Spring 2000 radio ratings)
- July 22, 2000
- July 15, 2000
- July 8, 2000
- July 1, 2000
- June 24, 2000
- June 17, 2000
- June 3, 2000
- May 13, 2000
- May 6, 2000
- April 29, 2000
- April 22, 2000
- April 8, 2000
- March 31, 2000
- Feb. 26, 2000 (fall '99 radio ratings)
- Jan. 22, 2000
- Jan. 15, 2000
- Dec. 25, 1999
- Dec. 18, 1999
- Dec. 9, 1999
- Dec. 4, 1999
- Nov. 27, 1999
- Oct. 30, 1999
- Summer 1999 radio ratings for Kansas City
My earlier columns on Kansas City TV and radio (columns on radio are starred):
- Kansas City weatherman battles bone cancer (10/27/99)
- Oct. 9, 1999
- Oct. 2, 1999
- Oct. 1, 1999*
- Sept. 26, 1999
- Sept. 19, 1999
- Sept. 12, 1999
- Sept. 5, 1999
- August 20, 1999*
- August 6, 1999
- August 5, 1999*
- Spring 1999 radio ratings for Kansas City*
- July 31, 1999*
- July 24, 1999
- July 17, 1999
- July 10, 1999
- July 3, 1999
- July 3, 1999*
- July 1, 1999
- June 23, 1999
- June 19, 1999
- June 12, 1999
- June 5, 1999
- May 29, 1999
- May 29, 1999*
- May 1999 ratings results
- May 22, 1999
- May 15, 1999
- May 8, 1999
- May 8, 1999*
- Winter 1999 radio ratings for Kansas City*
- May 1, 1999
- April 24, 1999
- April 17, 1999 plus correction
- April 10, 1999
- April 3, 1999
- March 27, 1999
- March 20, 1999
- March 19, 1999
- March 13, 1999
- March 6, 1999
- March 3, 1999
- February 27, 1999
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Barnhart
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The 2000 Upfronts
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Two more local exex out at Sinclair
While Sinclair Broadcast Group was the talk of the recent NAB show for its maverick efforts to have the digital-TV standard in the U.S. overturned, here in Kansas City it was business as usual for Sinclair, as the general sales manager of its local WB affiliate was fired and the general manager announced her departure in a midweek bloodletting. It's the third GM since Sinclair took over the station in 1996. Read my column in Saturday's Kansas City Star
Pick To Click:
Smoking Is Very Glamorous
About 10 years ago, Joseph Epstein wrote an essay complaining that nobody ever smoked in the movies anymore (to say nothing of movie theaters). Since then, of course, Hollywood has begun lighting up again, so we shouldn't be too surprised at the arrival of "The Last Cigarette" (9 p.m. Friday, TLC), a habit-forming comic documentary from director Kevin Rafferty ("Atomic Cafe").
"The Last Cigarette" is basically a clip reel of dozens and dozens of nicotine scenes from old films. Rafferty then works the montage around a notorious tableau: the 1994 congressional hearing in which executives of all the top cigarette makers testified under oath that smoking was neither addictive nor all that bad for you.
The result is a deliciously savage attack on tobacco toleration. At one point Rafferty changes course slightly, flipping between old educational movies on the dangers of smoking and the more glamorous depictions of Hollywood. But through clever editing, it's the instructional films and their clunky messages that wind up looking sophisticated. A neat trick.
The daily digest ... for April 21: I'm not sure why USA Today wouldn't tell you that, in addition to appearing on two popular game shows on consecutive days, their sportswriter Eddie Timaeus also happens to be blind. But they didn't ... Howard Mortman, Mr. Hotline, Mr. See-You-at-the-Comedy-Club, has submitted his list of the campaign season's ten funniest moments. Tops on the list was Dennis Miller's "endorsement" of Sen. John McCain.
Coming up next ... subject to last-minute changes:
Monday: The V-chip (I); Kansas City doc goes national
Tuesday: The V-chip (II)
Previously on TV Barn:
20 April: Reader mail
19 April: More on "Survivor"
18 April: Second thoughts on Zehme, Takei
17 April: Sitcoms bomb
14 April: Ellen's new show
13 April: Reader mail
12 April: "Freaks and Geeks"
11 April: "Star Trek" protests
10 April: Zehme on Letterman
On this date...
in 1956, Leonard Ross takes home the "Big
Surprise" quiz payout of $100,000 for his knowledge of
stocks. Not only enough money for the 10-year-old to buy
milk and cookies for each of his Tujunga, Calif.,
classmates, but also enough in the '50s economy to buy
them each their own Congressman.
April 22: in 1973, Raymond Burr is the Pope, John
XXIII to be precise, Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli to be even
more precise -- in NBC's "Portrait: A Man Whose Name Was
John." Burr throws his weight around as the pontiff who
became "Time Magazine's Man of the Year" in 1962 by
summoning Vatican II, to "renew" the Roman Catholic
Church.
April 23: in 1985, no single network is enough to
contain the powerful force known as ... Liberace?!?
Promoting his return to Radio City Music Hall, Wladziu
Valentino Liberace journeys to "Another World" to fawn
over fellow romantic diva Linda Dano, and later in the
day treks across New York City to the studios of MTV to
rock the house as a guest VJ.
-- Tom Heald
On the wires:
(Stories open in a new window. Many links expire over time.)
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>>> Today at the NBC Commissary
The NBC Commissary
Burbank, California
March 12, 1999
Hours: 7:30a-7p M-F
Soups:
Boston Clam Chowder
Culinary Entree: Chefs Special - Medallions Beef Rossini
Nurture Our World: Mahi Mahi steak
Vegetables:
Grilled Pineapple
Herb Baked Potatoes
Twice Baked Potatoes
Sauteed Linguine
Showtime Feature:
Panini Fresca
Salads:
Seafood Caesar
Caesar
Panini: Provolone, Munster and Mozzarella cheeses
w/ fresh basil
Fresh Grill Special: Pear Tuna Melt w/tater tots
* * *
"Prince Charles and someone eating at the NBC
Commissary ... Name two people who will eventually be on
the throne."
-- Carnac
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