LATE SHOW NEWS #186 January 13, 1998 by Aaron Barnhart Thanks to Don Giller for supplying me with videotape needed to finish writing this week's news. *** I'm hard pressed to pick which was the dumber move: NBC's decision to oust Norm MacDonald as the guy who reads the fake news on "Saturday Night Live" or Comedy Central's firing-slash-allowing the departure of Lizz Winstead as head writer and chief creative spark on "The Daily Show." But I do know this: Neither show will be the same as a result. My first clue that something strange was going down at 30 Rock came when I received a fax Wednesday afternoon informing me, in the brightest tone possible, that Colin Quinn was replacing MacDonald -- with no explanation offered for the change. The rest of America found out Wednesday night. By coincidence, Letterman's people had booked MacDonald as a last-minute sub for Charles Grodin. Dave's people caught wind of NBC's move and threw most of the planned schtick out. And so, for two riveting segments, we got a wonderfully animated Letterman cajoling, goading MacDonald to give as many details of his firing as possible. The details, teased out later by Eric Mink of the New York Daily News, are these: NBC West Coast president Don Ohlmeyer, who usually leaves the East Coast alone unless he thinks he knows better than anyone in New York, left a message for MacDonald to call him back after the holiday break. Ohlmeyer informed MacDonald that "Weekend Update" wasn't funny and he was taking him off of it. Ohlmeyer also reassigned long-longtime "SNL" writer-producer Jim Downey, who had been producing the "Weekend Update" segment. Both moves were done over the protests of Lorne Michaels, according to Mink. The "real" reason behind the moves, Mink reports, was that viewership among the frat boys and acne victims who are "SNL" core audience dropped precipitously when "Weekend Update" came on. This proves a point that casual viewers surely picked up on months if not years ago: Norm is too smart for that audience. Don't even bother writing to argue with me on this one, either. Whether you're willing to admit it or not, Norm rescued "Weekend Update" from the dumper -- and this was despite his well-known dislike for reading the newspaper. In the early "SNL" years the fake-news segment was heavily scripted, with little room for ad libs. That changed with Dennis Miller. He was not only a great reader but an outstanding "saver," someone who could save a failed punchline with a wry look or an off-the-cuff comeback. Kevin Nealon, who followed Miller, was also a great reader but a terrible saver. MacDonald, like Miller, killed at both; his only weakness was material. Small reason Miller, on his "Dennis Miller Live" show Friday, denounced Ohlmeyer for canning MacDonald. Even Chevy Chase was quoted by TV Guide saying NBC had screwed up. Howard Stern had MacDonald as a guest on his radio show and called Ohlmeyer's move "crazy," saying MacDonald was the "shining light" of "SNL," a show that otherwise "sucks." (During the broadcast, Stern read a fax from a listener claiming that Ohlmeyer fired both MacDonald and his segment producer because MacDonald continued to do O.J. Simpson jokes. Do you think NBC is commenting on any of this? Think again, Lucky.)   Letterman told MacDonald, "I'll tell you who's taking your place -- *nobody* can take your place." And that proved painfully true, at least for the time being, when Colin Quinn slid into the fake anchor seat Saturday night for what was unquestionably the worst "Weekend Update" in show history. Quinn had good material, but his delivery was terrible, irretrievably inept. And ad libs? Forget it. The funniest part was when Will Ferrell, doing his addle-brained Harry Caray routine, repeatedly called Quinn "Norm." By the way, the good people at ESPN -- who have O.J. Simpson booked as Chris Myers' guest Thursday on "Up Close," kudos to Michael Moore for paving the way -- wanted me to remind you that the ESPY awards Feb. 9 will be hosted by none other than Quebec City's own Norm MacDonald. Not many details are known about how Winstead wound up on the outs at "The Daily Show," nor frankly does it seem to merit much ink for now. When the show begins to suck, or Winstead lands in a new situation and is ready to talk, maybe then we'll learn more. Oh, and this note to those still at "The Daily Show": You know how you introduce the photocopier every night in your opening roll? The "TDS 8400," I believe it's called? Spell out those three letters, would you, please? T-D-S. Got it? Good. Let's go right over here ... *** A bleacher gave way at "Vibe's" taping facility at CBS Television City last week, injuring nine, including one seriously. They were diving for freebies during the pre-show warmup. It's the same soundstage Letterman used during his two weeks of "Late Show" tapings from Hollywood ... Paul Shaffer's mother passed away ... Jay Leno has reupped with NBC through the year 2003. Bill Carter reports the five-year deal is Lettermanesque, on the order of $15 million per. He'll still take just five weeks off each year ... Actress Diane Farr will join Adam and Dr. Drew as a regular on "Loveline" when it begins its third season Jan. 26 on MTV. Variety reports that Farr will continue her day job teaching "improvisation and scene study at an unnamed maximum security prison in Los Angeles" ... Speaking of the nation's penal system, Charles Grodin's interview with Texas death-row inmate Karla Faye Tucker will air Thursday night at 11 Eastern on CNBC. Tucker said she decided to do Grodin's program because of his fairness and integrity. Other guests on the one-hour show include Sister Helen Prejean (whose life was the basis for "Dead Man Walking") and the chairman of the Texas board of pardons that will decide if Tucker's execution Feb. 3 will go ahead ... A colossal, and I mean gargantuan, Letterman fan site offers weekly Nielsen ratings updates so you statistics freaks will leave me alone. Surf over to ... One set of ratings you won't find there are the all-important overnight-news scores. Surprise! NBC's "Nightside" passed up ABC's "World News Now." Actually, ABC declined while NBC remained steady. "World News Now" went from an earlier 0.8 rating to an 0.6 in calendar year 1997, behind NBC's 0.7 and ahead of CBS's 0.5 ... Harry Knowles of the site reports, through one of his moles, that a $1.5 million deal has been struck with the creators of "South Park" to make a motion picture about the little town that good taste forgot ... Milos Forman has committed to a movie based on the life of Andy Kaufman, set to begin shooting this summer. Working title, according to Variety, is "Man on the Moon." *** So is CBS finally on the road to recovering all those smart young viewers who abandoned Letterman after season two? On Monday the network grabbed rights to NFL games for $4.4 billion over eight seasons. Doing so will guarantee a flow of young males back to CBS, at least on Sunday afternoons. But it's not clear whether they'll gravitate to Dave. Sure, it was devastating to CBS when it lost the rights to NFL games in 1993. But the killer came when the New World Communications group of affiliates, most of whom were CBS affiliates, defected to Rupert Murdoch's Fox network. Among the biggest losses: Atlanta, Detroit and Milwaukee -- all NFC markets. But CBS won the rights to AFC games, not NFC, and that could limit its impact in those markets, particularly if the home team is playing on a competing station. CBS also needs to create a new image for its NFL coverage, thanks to the aggressive strides Fox has made the last four years. Trucking over all those creaky old NBC football announcers would be unwise and perhaps impossible, given that the two top talents are Dick Enberg, who will undoubtedly be retained by NBC for his tennis coverage, and Marv Albert, whom nobody is retaining these days. Another huge task: figuring out a pre-game show that doesn't inevitably draw all the older viewers who find Fox's pre-game too boisterous. (Imagine what they'd think of Dave's show.) *** Reader mail: A timely, pre-Norm MacDonald letter from Larry O'Toole: "I've been very disappointed with the general lack of sophisticated comedy on 'SNL' this season, and was wondering if that might be intentional with the hope of appealing to a specific audience, or just the result of poor writing. Unless I'm imagining things, the show is relying more and more on the shock value of vulgarity (i.e. Colin Quinn's recently paroled Santa sketch, or Clare Danes' Tinkerbell) or on the simple execution of poor taste, as in Will Ferrell's Elton John 'parody.' I just don't find myself laughing that much!" ... And here now with an instant rebuttal to my article above is Harrison Wyman: "I thought MacDonald was funny on talk show segments but not at his main job. I have watched him go zero for 12 in jokes on 'Update' without a laugh from the studio audience. When I could force myself to watch 'SNL' sketch segments his work was uneven. Lorne Michaels could have removed MacDonald on merit but the decision was made in Burbank. And then the show aired on Jan. 10. A filmed sketch on the making of 'Pulp Fiction' with other actors in the John Travolta role had MacDonald as director Quentin Tarantino. Norm hit that one right out of the park, nailing Tarantino's speech patterns and and hyper-manic mannerisms to the floor. ... The result was the funniest bit on the show." ** Tom Heald's THIS NIGHT IN HISTORY Exclusive to LATE SHOW NEWS Tu 1/13: In 1985, Carol Wayne dies. Wayne was the original matinee lady during "The Art Fern Tea Time Movie" on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson." We 1/14: In 1963, country singer Jimmy Dean becomes the first guest host (of 124) on Carson's "Tonight Show." Th 1/15: In 1977, in his fourth appearance on "Saturday Night Live," Andy Kaufman (as Elvis) performs "Treat Me Nice" and "Blue Suede Shoes." Fr 1/16: In 1993, in "Saturday Night Live's" final "It's Pat!" sketch, Harvey Keitel descends into madness trying to determine the gender of his uh... fellow... shipwreck victim. Just as Pat is ready to finally admit Pat's true gender, audience member Adam Sandler screams "No! No! Don't tell us, Pat! We don't want to know if you are a man or a woman! The fact that we don't know is all the fun." Later in the show, musical guest Madonna urges the viewing audience to fight the "real enemy," and rips up a picture of... Joey Buttafuoco. Sa 1/17: In 1997, Anchorwoman, Canadian, and Greek Muse of comedy Thalia Assuras leaves ABC's "World News Now" for a short-lived show on CBS's Eye On People cable network. Su 1/18: In 1992, Chevy Chase joins Kevin Nealon as co-anchor of "Weekend Update" on "Saturday Night Live" and brings the news that "Generalissimo Francisco Franco is STILL dead." Mo 1/19: In 1988, "Late Night with David Letterman" parodies Jimmy the Greek's racist quotes when Letterman notes the superiority of Canadian musicians. The show is halted, NBC president "Robert C. Wright" apologizes, and Dave is fired from NBC Sports, the Today Show, NBC Nightly News, and all TV comedies (such as they are. ) [Thanks to Frank Serpas III, Michael Cader, and the ever demented David Tanny. Special thanks to Donz5, "Weekend Update" anchor during the 1980-1981 season.] Ooga Chaka Ooga Chaka Ooga Ooga Ooga Chaka. E-mail Tom Heald at . THE LINEUPS with Sue Trowbridge LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS Tu 1/13 Bill Pullman, Jim Breuer, Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham We 1/14 Martin Scorsese, Peter O'Toole, Jars of Clay Th 1/15 Kenneth Branagh, Jim Nantz, Spice Girls Fr 1/16 Ben Stiller, Sandra Bernhard, Jeff Garlin Mo 1/19 TBA (R) Tu 1/20 Harrison Ford, Steven Wright, Dave Matthews Band (R 6/9/97) We 1/21 Nicole Kidman, Gregory Hines, God's Property featuring Kirk Franklin (R 9/23/97) Th 1/22 Sylvester Stallone, Tommy Lasorda (R 8/7/97) Fr 1/23 John Travolta, Grant Hill, Sinead O'Connor (R 6/13/97) THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC Tu 1/13 Mira Sorvino, Rob Reiner, Tina Turner (R 4/25/97) We 1/14 Goldie Hawn, Brett Favre, Bryan White (R 10/13/97) Th 1/15 Bruce Willis, Dom DeLuise, Donald Trump (R 11/19/97) Fr 1/16 Pamela Lee, Garth Brooks (R 11/21/97) Mo 1/19 Lisa Kudrow, Peter Berg, Natalie Cole (R 8/12/97) Tu 1/20 Kate Winslet, Burt Reynolds, Michelle Kwan We 1/21 Samuel L. Jackson, Harland Williams, Oasis Th 1/22 Bob Newhart, Howie Long, Chumbawamba Fr 1/23 John Lithgow, Famke Janssen LATE LATE SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER, CBS Tu 1/13 Merv Griffin, Gregory Jaynes We 1/14 Pam Grier Th 1/15 Park Overall Fr 1/16 John Diresta Mo 1/19 Kenneth Branagh, Dean Koontz Tu 1/20 Mark Harmon LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC Tu 1/13 John Goodman, Gloria Reuben, The Afghan Whigs (R 3/14/96) We 1/14 Marilu Henner, Kiss (R 8/4/95) Th 1/15 Pete Townsend, Nicholas Turturro, Dishwalla (R 5/3/96) Fr 1/16 Louis Anderson, Famke Janssen, Ken Follet (R 9/7/95) Mo 1/19 Billy Crystal, Wolfgang Puck (R 5/9/97) Tu 1/20 Ted Williams, Dave Chappelle We 1/21 Maria Bartiromo, Martina McBride Th 1/22 Jim Breuer LATER, NBC Tu 1/13 Sam Rubin with Craig Ferguson CHARLIE ROSE, PBS Please note that Charlie Rose listings are very tentative Tu 1/13 Tina Brown We 1/14 Author Tony Kornheiser, Wolf Blitzer Th 1/15 Toni Morrison (alternate air date 1/19) Fr 1/16 Getty museum architect Richard Meier (may air 1/15) Mo 1/19 Martin Scorsese (may air 1/16!) Tu 1/20 Elmore Leonard We 1/21 Joan Sutherland, Patti Lupone Th 1/22 Charles Schwab, "Ragtime" roundtable Fr 1/23 Author Taylor Branch, Super Bowl roundtable POLITICALLY INCORRECT WITH BILL MAHER, ABC Tu 1/13 Charlton Heston, Alan Rachins, Dana Gould, Heather Higgins We 1/14 Joe Queenan, Graham Nash, Mercedes Ruehl, Jonathan Kellerman Th 1/15 Rick Ducommun, Mark Goodin, Jean Smart, Harlan Ellison Fr 1/16 Pam Grier, Daisy Fuentes, Tom Fitton VIBE TV, syndicated Tu 1/14 Lela Rochon, Denise Austin, Coolio We 1/15 "Webster" cast reunion, Ol Skool Th 1/16 Denzel Washington Fr 1/17 Djimon Hounsou, Penelope Ann Miller, The Lox KEENEN IVORY WAYANS, syndicated Tu 1/13 Kenan & Kel, Kelly Packard, MJG We 1/14 John Henton, Dr. Drew Pinsky & Adam Carolla Th 1/15 Rachel True, Ricky Harris, Jody Watley Fr 1/16 Kim Coles, Mitch Mullaney, Guy Torry, Queen Pen & Chauncy from Blackstreet Mo 1/19 Richard Belzer, Kristian Alfonso, David Boreanaz, Third Eye Blind Tu 1/20 Malik Yoba, Maia Campbell We 1/21 Natalie Desselle Th 1/22 Marliece Andrada Fr 1/23 David Chappelle, Leah Remini, Michael Rapaport Mo 1/26 Florence Griffith Joyner, Craig Ferguson Tu 1/27 David Alan Grier We 1/28 Thomas Gibson, Anna Maria Horsford, Heidi Mark Th 1/29 Kim Wayans, Esai Morales, Ingo Rademacher Fr 1/30 Yasmine Bleeth HOWARD STERN, E! Tu 1/13 Intern Beauty Contest Fall '97, Elaina Diapers Guys Part 2 (R) We 1/14 James Cameron, Lisa Kudrow (R) Th 1/15 4 Nipples and B.J. Thomas, Mike Judge/Beavis Movie (R) Fr 1/16 Pamela Lee PETA, Gump and The Pump (R) Sa 1/17 Kendra Under The Console (R), William Shatner and The Love Doll (R) DENNIS MILLER LIVE, HBO Fr 1/16 Bill Maher on "The War on Drugs" Fr 1/23 Keenan Ivory Wayans on "Talk Shows" (!) SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network Fr 1/16 George Clinton and Erik Estrada (R) Birdman and American Gladiators Ice and Tower (R) Fr 1/23 Sam Butera and Millionaire from Combustible Edison (R) Fred Schneider (R) DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1 Di 13/1 Juergen von der Lippe, Esther Schweins Mi 14/1 Cecile Duetsch, Johannes B. Kerner, Julia Stemberger Do 15/1 Klaus Toepfer Fr 16/1 Dieter Wedel Also on late nights: NIGHTLINE and WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC CHARLES GRODIN, CNBC MAD TV, Fox SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC (this season) and Comedy Central (classics) THE RUPAUL SHOW, VH1 LOVELINE and ODDVILLE MTV, MTV UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS NIGHTSIDE, NBC SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network (in repeats) Entire contents Copyright 1998 by Aaron Barnhart. All rights reserved. Current e-mail circulation: 11,366 subscribers in 54 countries. Guest lineups are updated throughout the week by Sue Trowbridge at LATE SHOW NEWS is made possible with the generous assistance of ECHO, New York City's premiere online service. Send news for and comments about this newsletter to aaron@tvbarn.com