LATE SHOW NEWS #188 January 27, 1998 published Wednesday, January 28 by Aaron Barnhart "People who are always saying daytime TV is something that is not to be credited are wrong," she said. "Daytime really wants to give something to the audience, and I think that in nighttime they really want to take something." -- Monica Lewinsky, 18, quoted at a "Days of Our Lives" fan convention in 1991 Oh ho ho, Miss Lewinsky, you could not be wrong if you forged a letter on school stationery! LATE SHOW NEWS, America's and Germany's favorite online source for news and views about the late-night talk show industry, is turning 4 next month, and once again we'll commemorate the occasion with the annual LATE SHOW NEWS Great Graft Giveaway! All you need do to be part of the fun is make sure you're subscribed to LATE SHOW NEWS no later than Feb. 10, 1998. On or after that date, I'll grab the full list of subscribers and randomly select winners from it. They'll receive a Priority Mail shipment of some of the highest-quality items ever to be emblazoned with the crass company logos of the TV industry. I'll keep choosing winners until I run out of graft. The LATE SHOW NEWS fourth anniversary issue will appear on Feb. 17, 1998 -- unless, of course, I'm impeached or resign before then. (Thanks to Daisann McLane for the quote.) *** John Michael Higgins has resurfaced. The actor who played David Letterman in the HBO adaptation of Bill Carter's book "The Late Shift" portrays a priest with AIDS in an episode of ABC's "Nothing Sacred" that's been praised by those who've seen it. Unfortunately, *you* won't be seeing it anytime soon; the episode has been shelved, apparently forever, by a squeamish network. Kind of reminds you of when Higgins was booked as a guest on Letterman's show and then subsequently never appeared on camera ... Yep, Farrah Fawcett cancelled her date with Dave Letterman after all, citing a schedule conflict, to which Letterman's producer Rob Burnett replied, "We're here five nights a week, so any time she wants to come back, she's welcome" ... There's stupid human tricks, and then there's stupid pet tricks. "Late Show" is currently looking for more of the latter. The show has opened a toll-free hotline at 1(888) PET-TRIK and you can e-mail the new pet-tricks coordinator, Ben Zelevansky, at BZLateShow@aol.com ... Some moron at the AP's Washington bureau filed a story on how the late-night hosts were handling President Clinton's latest scandal. After reporting a series of Leno jokes (the best of which ended, "It Takes a Village to Keep an Eye on My Husband"), the reporter said, "Rival late-night comedian David Letterman made no mention of the new allegations concerning Clinton on his show Wednesday night," probably because IT WAS A RERUN ... NBC just inked a deal to bring programs, including "The Tonight Show" and "Late Night with Conan O'Brien," to New Zealand ... Val Dodge reports that Canada's Comedy Network has picked up "The Chris Rock Show" and "Mr. Show" and is airing them during the 10 p.m. hour Eastern time on Saturdays ... The New York Post's "Page Six" revived the long-running rumor that CBS is thisclose to signing Howard Stern to produce and star in his own Saturday late-night program. But the Post added a twist: soon-to-be-ex-"SNL" Norm Macdonald would be involved. Howard flatly denied it all the next day on his show, except to say that yes, he and CBS have been talking about it for a long time ... Chumbawamba singer Alice Nutter said on "Politically Incorrect" last week that she advocates stealing copies of her band's multiplatinum-selling CD "Tubthumper" from Virgin Megastore. "If you get caught, just tell the store detective that you have the full support of the band," she said. In response, Virgin pulled all copies of the CD from display racks -- you can still ask someone behind a counter to sell you a copy, though ... TV Land, the Nick at Nite spinoff channel you probably don't get, will air a rare "Rat Pack" concert featuring Frank Sinatra, Sammy David, Jr., Dean Martin and Johnny Carson on April 20. The concert was close-circuited to theaters in 1965 to benefit a halfway house in St. Louis ... Meanwhile, Nick at Nite will air the broadcast of "The Arsenio Hall Show" featuring candidate and saxophone player Bill Clinton at 11 p.m. Eastern on Monday as part of its Black History Month tribute (yeah, go figure) ... Speaking of classic TV, that "Pictionary" outtake where Erik Estrada accidentally knocks Bill Maher cold will air on "The World's Funniest!" at 8 p.m. on Feb. 12 on Fox ... That special Sunday "Tonight Show" following the Super Bowl drew an estimated 8.4 million viewers, 34% higher than the show's weeknight average ... And Robert Feder reports in the Chicago Sun-Times that more than 20,000 "Tonight Show" ticket requests have been received so far for Jay Leno's week of shows in Chicago in May -- "and that's without Jay ever announcing it on the air," according to a spokesman. *** Das readermail: Mike Long writes, "Dave was absolutely stunning -- on fire -- Monday night. He eviscerated the President, made his points and got huge laughs -- all in a quick 20 minutes and with a skill that Leno, Maher and Conan will simply never have. Why? It radiated from his personality, not a cue card. That's what always set him apart. Dave was his good old vicious self and he didn't care whom he offended (even taking a gratuitous shot at UPI's Helen Thomas). THIS is what we miss in Dave, the fatalistic outrage. He hasn't been this good since he was on NBC" ... Patrick Smith writes, "In response to all of the 'I hate Colin Quinn' comments from this week's news, I'd just like to say that even though I liked Norm better, I thought it was very decent and nice for Colin Quinn to go into his 'Steve and Frank the Bartenders' story, saying that Norm is Frank, Colin is Steve, and (I'm paraphrasing) 'Steve might also be saddened by Frank leaving bartending because Frank showed Steve all about mixing drinks, and even though Steve mixes them a little different, you learn to like Steve's style.'" ... James Kass writes with a neat suggestion: "Tom Heald's mention of the Andy Kaufman phone-in vote ban from 'SNL' gave me an idea. Perhaps NBC can do the same with Norm and Colin: A phone-in vote to decide who stays on as 'Weekend Update' anchor. The publicity NBC will generate is practically guaranteed to bring in ratings. People will stay tuned through the entire show to see the results. 'Happy Hour' Ohlmeyer can save face by letting the people speak. Lorne can save face by letting the people decide, not a west coast suit, the fate of 'SNL.' There could even be custom toll-free numbers... Vote for Norm! Call 1-888-ANAL-RAPE -or- Vote for Colin! 1-888-JOE-BLOW" ... But I was especially glad to get this from a reader named Jaimie at the University of Michigan: "I think some people are missing a crucial point about Norm Macdonald. Sure, he hammered some obviously lame jokes/bits to death. 'Note to self,' crack whores, Frank Stallone, etc., but that was part of Norm. I read an interview with him, I think it was '20 Questions' in Playboy, where he revealed something I found very telling. He said that the funniest thing to him was when a comedian would try and be funny, but fail miserably. The quote was: "Whenever I would bomb, I'd get happy. Comedy is about unexpected things. So if you're trying to make a guy laugh and he doesn't, that's funny, right?' "I have a feeling that when some of us at home (or in the audience) listen to his latest joke about assistant crack whores and cringe, he revels in the silence. He doesn't seem to view the lack of laughter as a bad thing. Thinking about that always makes me laugh, despite what the joke is. ... The decision to fire him was truly idiotic." *** Tom Heald's THIS NIGHT IN HISTORY tomalhe@aol.com Exclusive to LATE SHOW NEWS Tu 1/27: In 1986, Sam Kinison makes his second appearance on "Late Night with David Letterman." May the lord have mercy on us all. We 1/28: In 1986, Any smarmy "illusionist" can do "tricks" with "beautiful" "women." But Penn & Teller "cut and restore" a *snake* on "Saturday Night Live." Th 1/29: In 1983, a "Saturday Night Live" ad parody offers viewers the chance to rent Ed McMahon (Joe Piscopo) "for your next party and your unfunny jokes will work!" Fr 1/30: In 1982, Andy Kaufman makes his ninth "Saturday Night Live" appearance, this time as Elvis, performing a song, clucking, asking women to wrestle him, and ultimately apologizing. Sa 1/31: In 1993, "The Ben Stiller Show" last airs on Fox. The New York Times Magazine recently pointed to "The Ben Stiller Show" as "the kind of incubator for performers and writers that 'Your Show of Shows' was in the 50's and 'Saturday Night Live' and 'SCTV' were in the 70's and 80's," introducing the world to "the Posse" - Ben Stiller, Janeane Garofalo, Andy Dick, Bob Odenkirk, David Cross, and Kathy Griffin. Su 2/1: In 1982, Bill Murray gets "Physical" on the very first of 1,809 "Late Night with David Letterman" episodes for the National Broadcasting Corporation. "Bill wanted to do something special, so he was coming down early to talk to the writers and see what they could come up with together," Letterman later recalled. "When he arrived, Merrill and I were out filming a segment, and Bill showed up with about six gallons of whatever tequila was on sale. When we got back, everybody was s***-faced, and it was dark, since Bill had decided the flourescent lights were leeching Vitamin E from them and he'd hidden all the lamps. Nothing was written, and the only explanation I could get from anyone was, 'Bill was here.' When we did get on the air, Bill decided not to do any of the stuff we'd written and got an urge to sing 'Let's Get Physical' and do aerobics. So he did." Mo 2/2: In 1942, Barry Diller is born. Diller was responsible for the ill-fated "Late Show with Joan Rivers," the first stab at programming on what would become the Fox network. Gee, thanks. [Thanks to Dave Tanny, Frank Serpas III, and oddly enough, Aaron Barnhart. Special thanks to Donz5, author of "Wag the Giller."] Tom Heald will be celebrating Late Night/Late Show's sixteenth birthday by accompanying it to all the debutante balls around New York CIty. THE LINEUPS with Sue Trowbridge LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS We 1/28 Michael Keaton, Brian Williams, Blues Traveler Th 1/29 David Spade, Jeff Garlin Fr 1/30 Ethan Hawke, Merrill Markoe, Mitch Hedberg Mo 2/2 Steve Forbes, Jake Johannsen Tu 2/3 John Goodman, Jeff Gordon We 2/4 Dan Aykroyd, Naomi Campbell, Duncan Sheik Th 2/5 Mira Sorvino, Treat Williams, cast of "Ragtime'' Fr 2/6 Drew Barrymore Mo 2/9 TBA Tu 2/10 The Blues Brothers (John Goodman and Dan Aykroyd) THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC We 1/28 Yasmine Bleeth, Djimon Hounsou Th 1/29 Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jewel Fr 1/30 Kelsey Grammer, Rachel Weisz, Sarah McLachlan Mo 2/2 Shaquille O'Neal, Jane Leeves, Shawn Colvin Tu 2/3 Chow Yun-Fat, Jesper Parnevik We 2/4 Jeff Goldblum, Kent Mahaffey with singing birds Th 2/5 Dennis Rodman, Jeri Ryan Fr 2/6 Gwyneth Paltrow, Ryan O'Neal Mo 2/9 Kid inventors LATE LATE SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER, CBS We 1/28 Diahann Carroll Th 1/29 Elle magazine editor Elaina Richardson Fr 1/30 Rosie O'Donnell, Nancy McKeon Mo 2/2 TBA Tu 2/3 Shelley Winters LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC We 1/28 Bill Nye, The Pat McGuire Band Th 1/29 Michael Keaton, Angelina Jolie Fr 1/30 Dan Cortese, Ben Stiller, college band search winner Domo Mo 2/2 Luke Perry, Joey Lauren Adams, Ian Bagg (R 5/2/97) Tu 2/3 David Brenner, Melinda Clark We 2/4 John Leguizamo, Victoria Williams Th 2/5 Dan Aykroyd, Rebecca Romijn Fr 2/6 John Goodman Mo 2/9 Howard Stern, Lolita Davidovich, Freedy Johnston (R 3/13/97) LATER, NBC We 1/28 Harland Williams with Jessica Lundy Th 1/29 Harland Williams with Jorga Fox Mo 2/2 Michael Rapaport with Keith Olbermann Tu 2/3 Michael Rapaport with Clifton Powell We 2/4 Michael Rapaport with Q-Tip Th 2/5 Michael Rapaport with Lisa Nicole Carson CHARLIE ROSE, PBS Please note that Charlie Rose listings are very tentative We 1/28 Sam Shepard, Michael Keaton Th 1/29 Vanessa Redgrave, Sandra Bernhard Fr 1/30 David Straithairn, Mark Ravenhill Mo 2/2 Anna Quindlen, Gary Oldman Tu 2/3 Esquire editor David Granger We 2/4 Buzz Bissinger, Patti Lupone; "Mizlansky/Zilinsky" panel with Jon Robin Baitz, Joe Mantello, Nathan Lane Th 2/5 Martin Amis POLITICALLY INCORRECT WITH BILL MAHER, ABC We 1/28 Lizz Winstead, Michael Bolton, Michael Boatman, Betsy Hart Th 1/29 Heavy D, Karen Finley, Jim Goad, Michael Rapaport Fr 1/30 Alex Kingston, Robert Goulet, Scott Thompson, Doug McIntyre Mo 2/2 Dennis Prager Tu 2/3 TBA We 2/4 Pam Tillis, Robert Reich, Sugar Rautbord VIBE TV, syndicated We 1/28 Charles Woodson, Stacy Kenan, The Whispers, George Benson Th 1/29 Daryl "Chill" Mitchell, Kobe Bryant, Born Jamericans Fr 1/30 Jerry Springer, Joe Morton, Kirk Franklin, Public Announcement KEENEN IVORY WAYANS, syndicated We 1/28 Michael Rapaport, Heidi Mark, Esai Morales, Tonic Th 1/29 Kim Wayans, Ingo Rademacher, Richard Kind, Kenny Lattimore Fr 1/30 Yasmine Bleeth, Susan Walters, Ginuwine Mo 2/2 Craig Ferguson, Ralph Harris Tu 2/3 Loretta Devine, Lox We 2/4 Steve Harvey, Christa Miller, Mase Th 2/5 Damon Wayans, Matthew Lillard, Oasis Fr 2/6 Daisy Fuentes, Aries Spears Mo 2/9 Chumbawamba Tu 2/10 Robert Townsend We 2/11 TBA Th 2/12 Real Andrews Fr 2/13 Russell Simmons HOWARD STERN, E! Tu 1/26 Robin's Jeopardy Warmup Part 1, Stuttering John At Red Ball Pt 2 (R) We 1/27 Robin's Jeopardy Warmup Part 2, Night Call Girls (R) Th 1/28 Fan Drinks Underwear Water/Park Flasher, William Shatner (R) Fr 1/29 Cheryl Strips, William Shatner (R) Sa 1/30 Jenny McCarthy Parts 1 and 2 (R) DENNIS MILLER LIVE, HBO Fr 1/30 Rosie O'Donnell on "Were the Good Old Days Actually Better?" Fr 2/6 Rerun TBA Fr 2/13 Michael Keaton SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network Fr 1/30 Rob Zombie and Raven Simone (R) Robin Leach and Merrill Markoe (R) Sa 2/6 John Henson and Bob Goen (R) Bobcat Goldthwait and Judy Tenuta (R) DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1 Mi 28/1 Nina Ruge, Klaus Eberhartinger Do 29/1 Wolfgang Fierek, Desiree Nosbusch Fr 30/1 Joerg Wontorra Also on late nights: NIGHTLINE and WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC CHARLES GRODIN, CNBC MAD TV, Fox SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC (this season) and Comedy Central (classics) THE RUPAUL SHOW, VH1 LOVELINE and ODDVILLE MTV, MTV UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS NIGHTSIDE, NBC THE DAILY SHOW, Comedy Central ======================================== AARON BARNHART IN THE KANSAS CITY STAR (a Knight-Ridder newspaper) The URL for recent TV stories is Scroll to the bottom of the page. ======================================== Entire contents Copyright 1998 by Aaron Barnhart. All rights reserved. Current e-mail circulation: 11,746 subscribers in 54 countries. Guest lineups are updated throughout the week by Sue Trowbridge at LATE SHOW NEWS is made possible with the generous assistance of ECHO, New York City's premiere online service. Send news for and comments about this newsletter to aaron@tvbarn.com