LATE SHOW NEWS #235 February 9, 1999 by Aaron Barnhart To join or leave the LATE-SHOW-NEWS mailing list, see instructions at end of message. Next week's edition, the final installment of LATE SHOW NEWS, will be published on Wednesday, Feb. 17, and will consist of my closing thought and a list of acknowledgements. The regular features, including Reader Mail, Tom Heald's calendar (which is also becoming a general-interest TV feature) and the Lineups will appear as part of the new THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN mailing. It will go out to all of you late Sunday night and each Sunday night thereafter. It will look suspiciously like LATE SHOW NEWS only without quite so much late-night news up front. Although LATE SHOW NEWS itself will cease, the mailing list will still be called LATE-SHOW-NEWS. Is that perfectly clear? No? Well, then, brace yourself for what follows. *** Reader Ryan Hennessy writes, "On Thursday, February 4th, a boygroup named Fresh Step appeared on the 'Late Show.' They seemed like any other hot boygroup band. Dave introduced them, held up their CD and some girls in the audience screamed. The band did a completely unoriginal song, played no instruments, and danced around the stage. It was completely convincing. The problem is, there is no such band as Fresh Step! It was a parody that the 'Late Show' had put together. I just wanted to know if you've heard any other people who have found out this band to be a fake, or if anyone went out searching for a Fresh Step CD." "Fresh Step," Rob Burnett said to me on the phone Monday. "I'm sort of staying out of this one. Too hot of a topic." Hot topic? They're either real or they aren't, right? Page Six said they're fake. Reliable sources say they're fake. But two different sources at CBS told LATE SHOW NEWS on Monday that Fresh Step -- a group that no one has ever heard of, has no CDs for sale at any of the top online music sites, shares its name with a brand of kitty litter and did the unthinkable by lip-synching their number on national TV -- is the real deal. Meanwhile, the executive producer of the Letterman show is taking a vow of silence. Real or fake? Sounds like we're arguing over someone's boobs. And, much like the racks in Hollywood, you really can't be sure about anything you see on the "Late Show" these days, especially given its newfound reputation for playing tricks on its audience inspired by the show's current head writer, Rodney Rothman. Last summer, Rothman and crew cooked up a fake Broadway musical number. It was introduced during a late segment, and with a completely straight face, as the opening scene from "One Small Step." The scene takes place on the surface of the moon. To enhance the authenticity of the hoax, "Late Show" employed actual Broadway musical performers to belt out the bogus number. "That's what makes it confusing," Burnett said cheerfully. "You have all of these resources and boy, do we misuse them. You have these talented actors out there working with Paul Shaffer, one of the great bandleaders, working to get these really horrendous lyrics just right. It's always been the single greatest pleasure of working here. I'd wonder if Kenny Rogers would sing the 'Viewer Mail Song,' and the next thing you know, calls are made, and Kenny Rogers is out there practicing the lyrics." Two more fake musical numbers were concocted in later months. One, said to be from the hit play "Homecoming" (actually nonexistent), reportedly caused a certain talent booker from another talk show to call frantically around the theatre district, demanding to know why she hadn't been informed of this hot new production. The final fraud, according to the all-seeing, all-knowing unofficial cataloger of the Letterman show, Don Giller (who supplied me with the details needed for this piece), was a number from a play supposedly called "But Boy, Could He Sing," airing on Dec. 29. "The reaction of the audience is always sort of funny," Burnett said. "On 'Homecoming,' they just liked it, it was fine, they didn't care. On 'But Boy, Could He Sing,' they start out and they're willing to accept it -- you know, 'Here we are!', they couldn't be more excited, and slowly it begins dawn on them that, 'This isn't a very good show.' And then you even get 10 or 15 people booing, which is kind of heartening to me, because it tells me our audience is more discerning than I thought. I think Andy Kaufman would be proud." Actually, I suspect Andy would have been more proud of Fresh Step. Now our CBS sources swear that the group is one of several in the stable of one Louis J. Pearlman, the same person who's backing the Backstreet Boys. And I was almost ready to believe them until I had a conversation with head trickster Rothman, and either I don't ask very good questions or he wasn't giving me very good answers. "Those are all fake," said Rothman, referring to his Broadway concotions, "but there seems to be a rather hilarious misconception that the act on Thursday was fake." Rothman conceded that the group was awful and that lip synching on the Letterman show was "very unusual." Here, sample the lyrics yourself (courtesy of the Wahoo Gazette): "F is for the fresh cuz that's what we are R is for reality, we're living large E is for emotion cuz we know how to feel S is for the street cuz we're keepin' it real H is for my homies cuz we got a bad rep But ya gotta be fresh 2 fresh with da Fresh Step." "They were pretty ludicrous," conceded Rothman. "I wish we came up with that." Ah hah. Something tells me that the final page has not turned on this chapter. Wait, is that the phone ringing again? *** Craig Kilborn calling. We'd been meaning to have an off-the-record discussion as far back as early December, when he was still sitting behind the XL-sized anchor desk at "The Daily Show." Now, two months later, with only weeks to go before he takes over for Tom Snyder on "The Late, Late Show," we might as well talk on the record. For unlike Bryant Gumbel, who had little to say about his CBS newsmagazine even hours before it went on the air -- and we soon found out why -- Craig's got a little information up his sleeve. And you know what? He doesn't mind sharing it with the journalist formerly known as Mr. LATE SHOW NEWS. The studio, Craig. Tell us about the studio. "It's the same studio," he promises. "They knocked down a wall." Oh, so it *isn't* the same studio. Actually, it would have been hard setting up five folding chairs in the shoebox Snyder uses. Kilborn's studio, which is being designed by David Letterman's one and only set designer Kathleen Ankers, will hold 85 to 90 audience members. "The scariest thing is, they're listening to me on too many ideas." Such as? "I want it to be like my Frank Lloyd Wright home in the Hills. Hardwood floors, throw rugs." Hardwood? As in, hey howabout we shoot a few hoops while we're waiting for rehearsal to start? "It's not parquet," he says. "I don't want that many lights in the background. I want the moon to be prominent. Throw in some clouds." So more noirish than Tom's set. "Actually," he adds, "the set I really want is the old 'Fernwood 2Night.'" Opening. Let's talk about how you'll open the show. "I don't like to give away details, Aaron," he says (and veteran Kilborn watchers know exactly how he says it), "But I like it and Rob loved it," referring to Letterman producer and Worldwide Pants topper Rob Burnett. Kilborn's producer, by the way, is a guy named Billy Kimball, who has also already ingratiated himself by e-mail. Do I smell a Harry Knowles treatment coming? Tell us about the show, Craig. T he interviews. "Longer interviews." Longer? Did you say *longer*? Yes, Kilborn says. "Much as I enjoyed 'The Daily Show,' I always wanted to do something else because I'm not a big fan of the news parody. I felt really limited. Here I get to ad lib for the whole hour. I know the importance of jokes, but my favorite stuff is hard to explain. It's offbeat. It's dancing, it's hugging, it's crying -- and I'll probably be crying a lot my first week." Will this be a variety show, like Dave's and Jay's -- and Conan's -- shows? "I wouldn't use the word variety. I'd say we'll do some comedy up front. We're calling it a double monologue; we might do a thing at the top and a little bit later. There'll be a window seat where I'll invite a couple of guests to come sit with me. It'll be a simpler show -- sans the sidekick and the band. We'll have a musical guest on Friday." "We'll tape it at 6:30. You know how at 'The Daily Show' it was a half-hour taping but it might take us an hour and a half to do it? This will be one hour, live-to-tape." Then he adds: "It'll all come clear once the show is underway. But right now it's more enjoyable for me to talk on the phone." And it gets underway Tuesday, March 30. T.S. will sign off for good on Friday the 27th (the NCAA final will be Monday). *** Jay Leno will supply the voice of a talking guide dog on the Feb. 26 episode of "Providence" ... After winning the rights to air "The Howard Stern Radio Show on TV" in Stern's former home market of Washington, D.C., station WBDC told the Washington Post last week it won't renew the deal this summer because it can't find advertisers willing to buy time on the show ... In response to a letter appearing here last week, Chris Tufts reports spotting the satellite feed for "MAD TV" on Galaxy 6, transponder 5 at 7:30 PM CST last Friday. And "Viewer Mail" legend Dave Nelson adds that the Friday feed is a special one for Canadian affiliates, that stations in the U.S. are fed the show live on Saturday nights ... Speaking of Saturday nights, this weekend's "SNL" opener, in which Darrell Hammond's Clinton promised not to gloat over an impending acquittal in his impeachment trial, then proceeded to break it with a little help from Betty Currie, made up for weeks of disappointment in that program. And is it me or does Hammond sound like he's already working on an Al Gore impersonation? *** Tom Heald's THIS NIGHT IN HISTORY We 2/10: In 1960, Tonight Show host Jack Paar tells a joke involving a "Water Closet" (full text of which may be found at ). NBC censors deem it unacceptable and substitute three minutes of news updates. Paar is unaware of the substitution until he watches the broadcast later that evening. Th 2/11: In 1982, though seen on his morning show, "Viewer Mail" makes its official debut on "Late Night with David Letterman." Fr 2/12: In 1985, audiences have finally become accustomed to a bearded Johnny Carson when the "Tonight Show" host comes out for this evening's monologue cleanshaven. "I had to do it when a little old lady said that she had confused me for one of the Smith Brothers." After dead silence from the studio audience, Carson explains "You know, the cough drop guys." Sa 2/13: In 1997, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" presents "talent from the Westminster Dog Show" introducing audiences to "Triumph, the insult comic dog," one of its most successful bits... "for me to poop on." Su 2/14: In 1994, "The Late Show with David Letterman" registers its highest-rated airing since its CBS premiere. More viewers than ever are treated to a Fabio-read Top Ten and Dave's Mom interviewing Hillary Clinton, as CBS requires all affiliates to air the "Late Show" at its "live" broadcast time (11:35 Eastern) during the Winter Olympics. Mo 2/15: In 1994, Aaron Barnhart gets bored. (Congrats, boss.) Tu 2/16: In 1991, "It's Happy! It's fun! It's Happy Fun Ball," which, judging by "Saturday Night Live's" mile long disclaimer, is one of the most dangerous items on earth. "Do not taunt 'Happy Fun Ball.'" [Thanks to David Tanny. Special thanks to Donz5. This time, I really mean it. Missing HBO's Chris Rock Show in the offseason? Catch up with the best of Chris Rock at Tom Heald's "This Night In History Bookstore" at .] *** THE LINEUPS with Sue Trowbridge (http://www.interbridge.com/) LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS Mo 2/8 Michael J. Fox, long-time lovers John and Ilena Cobb, Willie Nelson Tu 2/9 Jeff Daniels, Monica We 2/10 Robin Wright Penn, Richard Kind, Chris Isaak Th 2/11 Sandra Bullock, James Carville, Hootie & The Blowfish Fr 2/12 Richard Simmons, model Sarah O'Hare Mo 2/15 Bette Midler, David Hyde Pierce Tu 2/16 Andy Garcia, Tara Lipinski, Wendy Liebman We 2/17 Andie MacDowell, Mike Judge, Julian Lennon Th 2/18 Magic Johnson, Jake Gyllenhaal Fr 2/19 Chris Tucker, Lauren Bacall THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC Mo 2/8 Tim Allen, Kathy Ireland, Steve Conlon and his Bee Beard Tu 2/9 Arsenio Hall, 7-year-old President expert Andrew Fuller; Dolly Parton, Linda Ronstadt and Emmylou Harris We 2/10 Rosie Perez, Julie Scardina and Sea World animals Th 2/11 Mel Gibson, Natalie Merchant Fr 2/12 Magic Johnson, Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, Collective Soul Mo 2/15 Roseanne, dog food tasting brothers Kevin & Mark Simonson Tu 2/16 Dave Foley We 2/17 Britney Spears Th 2/18 Anthony Edwards, Blondie Fr 2/19 Calista Flockhart, WCW wrestler Goldberg Mo 2/21 Martin Short, Kate Hudson, Lance Burton LATE LATE SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER, CBS Guests TBA LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC Mo 2/8 Sandra Bullock, Scott Thompson, Rasputina (R 10/14/98) Tu 2/9 Stephen King, Gloria Reuben, Sixpence None the Richer We 2/10 John Tesh, Jeri Ryan, animal expert Clyde Peeling Th 2/11 Rosie O'Donnell, Daniel Stern Fr 2/12 Bill Maher, Fabio, Orgy Mo 2/15 Jennifer Love Hewitt, Marc Maron, Kevin Brennan (R 11/19/98) Tu 2/16 James Ellroy We 2/17 Rosie Perez, Joshua Jackson, John Pizzarelli Th 2/18 Andy Garcia Fr 2/19 Myles Berkowitz Mo 2/22 Adam Sandler, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Frank Pellegrino (R 11/5/98) Tu 2/23 Kevin Nealon We 2/24 Shannon Hall Th 2/25 Martin Short Fr 2/26 Jon Stewart, Tina Majorino, Black Crowes LATER, NBC Mo 2/8 Host Rita Sever with Amanda Detmer Tu 2/9 Host Rita Sever with Brian McKnight We 2/10 Host Rita Sever with Deborah Cox Th 2/11 Host Rita Sever with Diamond Dallas Page Mo 2/15 Host Judd Nelson with Terry Farrell Tu 2/16 Host Judd Nelson with Kathleen York We 2/17 Host Judd Nelson with Cindy Margolis Th 2/18 Host Judd Nelson with Traylor Howard CHARLIE ROSE, PBS Please note that Charlie Rose listings are very tentative Mo 2/8 Guy Ritchie, Paul Rudnick Tu 2/9 "Last Days" Panel with James Moll, Rep. Tom Lantos, Renee Firestone, Irene Zisblatt We 2/10 - Mon 2/15 TBA Tu 2/16 Pete Sampras, Elmore Leonard, Norman Podhoretz We 2/17 Martin Amis, Andy Garcia POLITICALLY INCORRECT WITH BILL MAHER, ABC Mo 2/8 Pat Sajak, Ann Richards, Rep. Matt Salmon, Ron Silver Tu 2/9 John Waters, Rep. Steve Largent, Fred Savage We 2/10 Ann Coulter, Joy Behar, Gilbert Gottfried Th 2/11 Mercedes Ruehl, Joan Rivers, Rep. Robert Torricelli Fr 2/12 Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, Sam Donaldson, Richard Belzer, Rep. Jack Kingston Mo 2/15 Michael McKean, Bob Dornan THE DAILY SHOW, Comedy Central Mo 2/8 Melissa Gilbert Tu 2/9 Brendan Fraser We 2/10 Pamela Anderson Lee Th 2/11 Daniel Stern Mo 2/15 repeat (TBD) Tu 2/16 Illeana Douglas We 2/17 Ed McMahon Th 2/18 Rip Torn HOWARD STERN, E! Mo 2/8 James Woods, Ringo Starr Part 1 (R), Puerto Rican Vanessa (R) Tu 2/9 Sally Kirkland Implants Out, Ringo Starr Part 2 (R), Sandra Taylor (R) We 2/10 Montana & Girls Hold Stuff, Frankenstein Makeover Pt 1 (R), Kielbasa Queen and Dallas (R) Th 2/11 Sex with Christi Lake Part 1, Frankenstein Make'r Pt 2 (R), Nico Treasures Part 1 (R) Fr 2/12 Sex with Christi Lake Part 2, Frankenstein Make'r Pt 3 (R), Nico Treasures Part 2 (R) Su 2/14 Playmate Wrestling/Ratso (R), Hairless Guy (R) DENNIS MILLER LIVE, HBO Fr 2/12 Eddie Izzard on "The Death of Eccentricity" Fr 2/19 TBA Fr 2/26 Sheryl Crow on "Rock and Rol MADtv, FOX Sa 2/13 "Patch Kevorkian," "Blameless in Boulder," Mrs. Swan goes to the movies SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC Sa 2/13 Brendan Fraser / Busta Rhymes with The Roots Sa 2/20 Bill Murray / Lucinda Williams SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Comedy Central (repeats) We 2/10 Noon : John Goodman / The Pretenders (1993-'94) - "Mario Cuomo" & "Howard Stern" debate, Captain Jim & Pedro, Real Stories Of The Arkansas Highway Patrol, NRA's American Sportsman Today, Theatre Stories- Christopher Walken (JAM) & Michael Caine (PHH) on panel; 6PM & Midnight : Alec Baldwin /Beastie Boys + Christian Slater (1994-'95) - Joycelyn Elders, Canteen Boy rebuttal, L.A. Breast & Penis, The Young & The Youthful Th 2/11 Noon : Heather Locklear / Janet Jackson (1993-'94) - Coffee Talk, Eych!, Wayne Campbell on Melrose Place, Sandler sings "Summer Love," Andy Rooney, Orgasm Guy, "So Long, Farewell"; 6PM & Midnight : George Forman / Hole + Michael Buffer (1994-'95) - Time Boxer, Two Guys From A Religious Cult, Matt Foley, Incredible Hulk, Bruce McCulloch's "Stalking" Fr 2/12 Noon : Madonna / Simple Minds + Father Guido Sarducci + Penn & Teller (1985-'86) - host's wedding videos, Pinklisting, the "I Don't Want A Baby Coloring Book," National Inquirer Theatre; 6PM : Jeff Daniels/Lusicous Jackson (1994-'95) - Newt Gingrich's Contract with America, Connie Chung vs Momma Gingrich, O.J. survivor's song "You Gotta Be," Film Beat, Gay Stripper Theater Sa 2/13 11AM : Danny Aiello / Coolio + Larry Brown (1995-'96) - host sings "Chubby Clementine," The Kevin Franklin Show, Time-Life's Valentine's Day arguments, Norm's brother "Gary MacDonald," Spade in America, Martha Stewart Living Su 2/14 11AM : Roma Downey / Missy 'Misdemeanor' Elliott with Timbaland & Magoo (1997-'98) - The Singing Mohan Culps, Martha Stewart Living, I'm Riding My Donkey Political Talk Show, Monica Lewinsky's answering machine, The Ladies' Man, Smigeltoon - "Ah Lin The Skater Man" Mo 2/15 (8 HOUR SNL MARATHON) 11 AM : Ray Sharkey / Jack Bruce & Friends (1980-'81) - "not To Tell The Truth," Work Time, Italian (host) translates feelings of repressed WASP couple (CHR) & (ANR) Tommy Torture, January 11th celebration, crime forecast, Have A Nice Day - the movie, "The Man With The Black Hat," The Waiter-Maker; Noon : Chevy Chase / Sheila E. (1985-'86) - The Pat Stevens Show, Pathological Liars Anonymous, Those Unlucky Andersons; 1PM : Chris Rock / The Wallflowers + Dana Carvey (1996-'97) - I'm Chillin', Nat X, Mark Russell's Comedy Special, Charles Grodin, The Ambiguously Gay Duo, retiring Norm's Bob Dole, The Singing Mohan Culps, Russell Simmons' Def Emergency Room Jam, Perspectives; 2PM : John Goodman / Garth Brooks (1991-'92) - Politicians court Star Trek vote, Unforgivable, My 75 Kids, Cajunman, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer; 3PM : Tim Robbins / Sinead O'Connor + Susan Sarandon (1992-'93) - Larry King Live, Hollywood Minute, Founding Fathers, "Cooking With Dennis Miller," Sunday Morning Videos, That's Not Yogurt; 4PM : Joe Pesci / Spin Doctors + Robert DeNiro & Martin Scorsese (1992-'93) - Presidential debate, Pinky Ring, Single White Person (with Pat!), Zoraida; 5PM : Julianne Moor / Backstreet Boys (1997-'98) - Kenneth Starr interruptions, "Gloria Stuart", Delicious Dish, The Ladies' Man, show Barbara Walters Oscar Special, Smigeltoon - Conspiracy Theory Rock!, Good Morning With Liza!, Go-Lords; 6PM : Kevin Spacey / Beck + John Cleese & Michael Palin (1996-'97) - Late Show with David Letterman, Star Wars screentests, Janet Reno's Dance Party, Mr. Peepers, Smigeltoon - "X-Presidents," The Joe Pesci Show, Dead Parrot; Midnight : David Hyde Pierce / Live (1994-'95) - host sings, Amazin' Laser, Tales Of Little Women, Scottish Soccer Hooligan Weekly, Perspectives, Internet sex; Tu 2/16 Noon : Sigourney Weaver / Buster Poindexter + Madonna + Christopher Durang (1986-'87) - Church Chat, Quiz Masters, Mr. Subliminal, Derek Stevens, Tommy Flanagan, Alienses; 6PM & Midnight : Bob Newhart / Des'ree (1994-'95) - Ricki Lake Show, Book Buzz, Sandler sings "Sex Phone Lady," Baywatch, the "Hi Bob" drinking game; 10PM : Roseanne/Green Day + Rip Taylor (1994-'95) - Rude Rescue 911, Civil War Memories, Funny Strange vs. Funny haha, Lock-Up TRACEY TAKES ON, HBO We 2/10 - Books We 2/17 - Road Rage We 2/24 - America Also on late nights: NIGHTLINE and WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC BET TONIGHT WITH TAVIS SMILEY, BET LOVELINE, MTV THE HOWARD STERN RADIO SHOW, CBS and syndicated UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1 MAD TV, Fox Entire contents Copyright 1999 by Aaron Barnhart. All rights reserved.