LATE SHOW NEWS #148 April 7, 1997 by Aaron Barnhart Apologies for dragging my feet on this week's issue; let this be a warning to us all of the perils of taking more than one week off at a time. Also, I'm experimenting with an even more informal columnist's style than I usually use, since I won't be able to guarantee in the future I'll have time to compose a full essay every week ... Dot dot dot ... Conan O'Brien has had his contract extended through the 2001-2002 season, NBC announced Monday. This means that, should Conan serve out the length of his contract, he will have been on the air for nine seasons; Dave Letterman did that same show, "Late Night," for slightly more than eleven. Nothing amazing about this development -- except perhaps that it took NBC so long ... Billy Crystal, who's doing a pile of promotion for his new movie "Father's Day," is booked for Conan's May 9 show ... Speaking of Billy, he's taking credit for suggesting that hilarious "English Patient" spoof to Dave Letterman for Oscar's night, where Letterman guided the biplane into the sand while screaming maniacally at Crystal to do that Uma-Oprah thing. This year's Oscarcast was the second lowest-rated ever, down 11% from two years ago when you know who was host ... Jay Leno's May 22 celebration of his five years as "Tonight Show" host has been cancelled, ostensibly because Jay "never felt comfortable having a celebration after 'only' five years," though apparently not so uncomfortable that he won't show highlight clips during that night's broadcast. I suspect the real reason is that Leno doesn't want to give a mostly-hostile press, which doesn't think his program is funny but must respect his ratings success, something new to write about ... Fans of "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central may have recognized tonight's "Trivial Compromise" segment as a repeat. That's because head writer Lizz Winstead's mother, Ginny, suffered a heart attack over the weekend and is in intensive care. She's recuperating and, the show's producer Madeleine Smithberg said, will undoubtedly be phoning in the not-Jeopardy segment as soon as is humanly possible ... If you're wondering why four different distributors have suddenly gotten it into their heads to try a new late-night talk show starring an African-American performer, think WB. Think UPN. Think "Living Single." Black is back, and while this particular flavor of it may not be your idea of quality entertainment -- it is likely to be a far cry from "The Arsenio Hall Show" -- all that matters is the bottom line, and recent industry trends strongly suggest that a black-led talk show will have a very fat bottom line indeed. The latest to ink a deal for a fall show is Keenen Ivory Wayans, who has signed with Buena Vista TV, which is owned by Disney (which is divesting itself of my employer, The Kansas City Star), to host a nightly, hour-long talk-variety show starting in August. Wayans will also produce the show and earn about $6.5 million his first year, plus incentives. He joins Earvin (Magic) Johnson, John Salley, and Chris Spencer, who are all fronting projects for the fall, though the smart money suggests that at least two of these simply won't be able to sell enough markets to see the light of night. The unknown guy, Spencer, has the head start -- his producer, Quincy Jones, has sold "Vibe" to markets covering more than 80% of the country already. And in the rock-scissors-paper logic that will likely prevail with station managers on the syndication trail, Magic breaks Salley but Wayans covers Magic ... Dick Cavett, whose attention span seems roughly the length of one of those 30-second AT&T ads for which he provides voice-overs, has had his radio show pulled out from under him. The nationally syndicated program launched in January, but Cavett hosted for only two weeks before beating a mysterious retreat -- after suffering, said his lawyer, a manic-depressive episode. No matter, the show is history, and the producer is suing Cavett for $35 million for breach of contract ... Nanette Hansen has finally been sprung from CBS's graveyard shift. The longtime co-anchor of "Up to the Minute," however, has arguably gone on to greater obscurity: she's going to be an anchor on MSNBC ... Cindy Crawford will do a week's worth of shows as host of "Later" ... Net notes: Tom Heald noticed that "Politically Incorrect" now keeps video clips of recent broadcasts online at The cheeky Web designers at inherent.com -- and in my experience there are exactly two types of Web designer, cheeky and corporate -- slapped together an April Fools page promoting "Russell & Tate, Attorneys at Law," which some of you may recognize as the "SNL" parody of all those law firms that advertise on late-night TV (their motto: "We get yo' money!"). Reader mail: Dave Jacoby writes, "It seems like everyone from Rolling Stone on down thinks that Norm MacDonald is the only reason to watch 'Saturday Night Live' anymore, and while I grant that he's really good on the show, Ana Gasteyer is fast becoming the utility infielder Phil Hartman used to be. ... Ana can go from Martha Stewart to the MTV VJ to the NPR Food Lady without letting the illusion slip. In a cast where half make me laugh (Kattan, McDonald) and half make me cringe (Cheri Oteri and Will Ferrell, who's only funny when in scenes with David Alan Grier), she's by far the best." Tom Heald's THIS NIGHT IN HISTORY Mo 3/31: In 1994, Madonna f***s up "Late Show With David Letterman." A full transcript of her 13-bleep interview (featuring a handy household tip for urine) may be found in the Daveware section of the LATE SHOW NEWS Broadcast Museum at . Tu 4/1: In 1996, Doubleday publishes "Dennis Miller: The Rants," the first collection of monologues from HBO's "Dennis Miller Live." Of course, that's just my research ... I could be wrong. We 4/2: In 1962, "The Tonight Show" begins a six-month period without a permanent host. (Johnny Casron is still under contract to ABC through September.) Among the guest hosts asked to take the reins for a week are Jerry Lewis, Merv Griffin, Groucho Marx, and "Tonight Show" announcer Hugh Downs. Th 4/3: In 1961, Edward Murphy is born ... otay!!! Fr 4/4: In 1968, Tiny Tim tiptoes through the tulips in his first appearance on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson." Sa 4/5: In 1961, Barbra Streisand appears on "The Tonight Show with Jack Paar" to promote her role as a secretary in "I Can Get It For You Wholesale" on Broadway. In New Orleans, 12-year-old Richard Simmons gets his first "woody." Su 4/6: Game shows have always been a favorite parody subject for the writers of "Saturday Night Live." And in 1984, Sammy Davis Jr. and Captain Kangaroo (Billy Crystal and Jim Belishi) are the celebrity panelists on one of the best - "Jackie Rogers, Jr.'s $100,000 Jackpot Wad." Mo 4/7: In 1939, Sir David Frost is born. Shortly after "That Was the Week That Was" folded, the "enfant terrible of '60s political satire" gave chat shows a brief go with "The David Frost Show" from 1969-1972. Tu 4/8: In 1991, "Sweating Bullets" debut. Little more than a "Magnum P.I." knockoff, the show was the first night of CBS's "Crimetime After Primetime." And the only one of the member of the original franchise to stay on the air until David Letterman arrived at the Tiffany network. We 4/9: In 1983, Joan Rivers and impersonator Joe Piscopo engage in a joke-telling contest on "Saturday Night Live" to determine once and for all just who is the "real" Joan Rivers. Th 4/10: In 1982, "SNL" gives viewers the opportunity (via 900-number vote) to save or boil "Larry the Lobster." The good news? The home audience decides to let Larry live with a vote of 239,096 to 227,452. The bad news? He was actually dead before the votes were tallied. Fr 4/11: In 1980, "Fridays" debuts on ABC, an admitted "Saturday Night Live" clone, though it did launch the career of Michael Richards, now of NBC's "Seinfeld." Sa 4/12: David Letterman is born in Indianapolis, Indiana. "David Letterman's Internet Birthday Card 1997" may be signed at http://www.realtime.net/~jsanford/form/form1.html. Su 4/13: In 1990, with 38 weeks remaining on his 2-year, $60,000 a week contract, CBS pulls the plug the plug on "The Pat Sajak Show," replacing it the following Monday with reruns of "Wiseguy." [Thanks to Dave Tanny, Frank Serpas III, Tim Brooks, Earle Marsh and Mike Cader. Special thanks to Donz5, who cures his athelete's foot a *special* way...] Send your tired, your poor, and your chocolate pudding 'n' vodka recipes to Tom Heald at . THE LINEUPS (with Sue Trowbridge) LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS Mo 4/7 Erykah Badu Tu 4/8 Trace Adkins We 4/9 Charles Grodin, Matthew Sweet Th 4/10 Tom Arnold, New York Yankee Bernie Williams, Bush Fr 4/11 Jake Johannsen, Tracy Chapman Mo 4/14 Robin Williams (R 11/30/93), Whoopi Goldberg (9/4/96), Bruce Springsteen (4/5/95) Tu 4/15 Dana Carvey (R 11/19/93), Helen Hunt (6/29/94), LeAnn Rimes (9/5/96) We 4/16 Ellen DeGeneres (R 9/24/96), Will Smith (7/2/96), Celine Dion (4/24/96) Th 4/17 Arnold Schwarzenegger (R 7/20/94), Dennis Rodman (8/20/96), Courteney Cox (1/20/96) Fr 4/18 Tom Hanks (R 10/1/96), Wesley Snipes (9/8/95), Jewel (4/22/96) THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC Mo 4/7 Andre Agassi, Diane Lane, Cirque du Soleil Tu 4/8 Dennis Farina, Oscar de la Hoya, Michael Flatley We 4/9 Lisa Kudrow, Carl Reiner, Sheryl Crow Th 4/10 Jean-Claude van Damme, Minnie Driver, Counting Crows Fr 4/11 No Doubt Mo 4/14 Glenn Close, Richard Marx, SeaWorld animal expert Julie Scardina Tu 4/15 TBA We 4/16 TBA Th 4/17 Julianna Margulies LATE LATE SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER, CBS Jon Stewart will guest host during the week of April 7 Mo 4/7 Janeane Garofalo, Joe Queenan Tu 4/8 Illeana Douglas We 4/9 Garry Marshall Th 4/10 Phil Hartman Fr 4/11 Ben Stiller, Doug E. Doug LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC Mo 4/7 Cindy Crawford, Julia Sweeney, Chris Isaak (R 11/26/96) Tu 4/8 Frank McCourt, Ed McMahon We 4/9 Joan Lunden, Jon Voight, Louis C.K. Th 4/10 David Bowie Fr 4/11 John Waters, The Why Store Mo 4/14 Patricia Hearst, James Carville, Mitch Fatel (R 9/6/96) Tu 4/15 Tyra Banks, Rich Hall, Alexi Lalas (R 9/19/96) We 4/16 Norm Macdonald, Steve Buscemi, The Connells (R 10/9/96) Th 4/17 Third Anniversary Show (R 9/13/96) Fr 4/18 Rob Schneider, Mimi Rogers, Carl Perkins (R 11/13/96) LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN RERUNS, CNBC Mo 4/7 Mary Tyler Moore, Billy Burr, Eric Bogosian (R 2/4/97) Tu 4/8 David Brenner, Salma Hayek, Kim Richey (R 3/11/97) We 4/9 Al Roker, Bill Bellamy, Janice Ditullio (R 3/12/97) Th 4/10 Howard Stern, Lolita Davidovich, Freedy Johnston (R 3/13/97) Fr 4/11 Sarah Jessica Parker, Anthony Clark, William H. Macy (R 3/14/97) CHARLIE ROSE, PBS Mo 4/7 Dave Checketts, Jill Krementz Tu 4/8 Sol Wachtler, Alfred Uhry We 4/9 John Cusack, Roger Rosenblatt, Don Imus Th 4/10 Richard Riley, Phil Jackson and Charley Rosen POLITICALLY INCORRECT WITH BILL MAHER, ABC Mo 4/7 Tim Daly, Ray Davies, Republican activist Celeste Greig Tu 4/8 Bill T. Jones, Victor Kiam, Eartha Kitt, Leah Krinsky We 4/9 Elizabeth Perkins, Republican political consultant Jay Severin Th 4/10 Spalding Gray, Sheila Kuehl, Joe Queenan Fr 4/11 Andrea Dworkin, Megan Gallagher, Daniel Stern THE DAILY SHOW, Comedy Central Mo 4/7 Michael DeLorenzo Tu 4/8 Milton Berle We 4/9 John Waters Th 4/10 Joanna Kerns ("Growing Pains") SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network Fr 4/11 James Kirkconnell and Carl Clark (two episodes!) DENNIS MILLER LIVE, HBO Fr 4/11 (On hiatus) Fr 4/18 Phil Hartman DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1 Di 8/4 Karl-Heinz-Feldkamp (of FC Kaiserslautern; remember "Soccer Made in Germany"?), Alexandra Paul (remember "Baywatch"?) HOWARD STERN, E! Mo 4/7 Tommy Chong Needs Crackhead Bob, To Tell the Poof Tu 4/8 John & Grillo at Red Ball/Ali Prem., Gambling Dan the Intern We 4/9 Mira Seagal, Pt. 1, ESPY Awards Th 4/10 Mira Seagal, Pt. 2, Buster Douglas Fr 4/11 Susan's Playboy Evaluation, Billy Idol Sa 4/12 Doug & Interns Hypnotized, Pts. 1-2 Mo 4/14 John Mellencamp, Carly Simon, Pt. 1 Tu 4/15 Richard Lewis Nose Job, Carly Simon, Pt. 2 Mi 19/3 Joerg Knoer, Patricia Kaas Do 20/3 Frank Elstner, Jasmin Gerat Fr 21/3 Die Prinzen, Johannes B. Kerner, Britta Becker Also on late nights: NIGHTLINE, ABC CHARLES GRODIN, CNBC CARSON'S COMEDY CLASSICS, Family Channel MAD TV, Fox SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Comedy Central THE CHRIS ROCK SHOW, HBO WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS ====================================================== AARON BARNHART IN THE KANSAS CITY STAR (soon to be a Knight-Ridder newspaper) Too many bylines to list them all! How to find my articles in the Star archive: (1) Go to . (2) Under the "Additional search criteria" heading, type Aaron Barnhart in the "AUTHOR" entry blank. (3) Click the Search button. Entire contents Copyright 1997 by Aaron Barnhart. All rights reserved. Distributed by e-mail and BBS to over 10,000 readers weekly. Late Show News is made possible with the generous assistance of ECHO, New York City's premiere online service. Send news for and comments about this newsletter to aaron@tvbarn.com