LATE SHOW NEWS #150 April 21, 1997 by Aaron Barnhart The New York Times's CyberTimes section has a horribly misguided piece this week comparing the various late shows' Web sites. The first mistake it makes is equating MSNBC with a strong Internet presence. "It's not surprising that NBC outperforms CBS in the interactive arena, given the Eye Network's slow entry into this new medium," says the report. Take it from someone who's been here a while -- both CBS and NBC have been at it roughly the same amount of time. It's just that CBS chose to outsource much of the grunt work, while NBC kept most of its Web development in-house. (The new "Tonight Show" site, in fact, was outsourced.) But the real error in the piece, one that is all too easy to fall into when you're writing for the newspaper of power -- again, take it from me, I know the temptation -- is to equate the corporations' presence on the Internet with the definitive guide to the product. That does a disservice to the thousands of fans whose Web pages devoted to their favorite TV shows run circles around the networks' "official" home pages. (Now will someone please explain this to Chris Carter, who's reportedly the instigator of Fox's crackdowns on "X-Files" and "Millennium" fan pages?) This is perhaps no more evident than among the fans of late-night programming. NBC could work all day and all night and never come up with a "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" page remotely as interesting or informative as Herbert Gambill's, for instance. I name that one among the many out there because it recently moved to . And CBS is lucky to have all the Letterman sites that have apparently flourished despite Dave's hard times. I'll name two: Marilyn Sargent's Pathetic Page, always good for a smile at , and the incredibly comprehensive links on David Yoder's site at . The CyberTimes piece is at ... Tom Snyder hits the 500-show mark this week ... Charles Grodin says he's going to begin lightening up on his show -- no, not on the face makeup, but on the high O.J. content ... LSN reader Brian Rose has a new article interviewing the three directors of NBC's top late-night shows, all of them female, at ... The Andy Richter road show continues. He was in Athens, Ga., speaking to a crowd of more than 700 students on his favorite topic, "How to be a Talk Show Sidekick and Other Worthless Crap." No report on whether any student asked why "Late Night" had been in repeats so often of late ... Speaking of Andys we like, Neal Travis in the New York Post has an encouraging word about "NewsRadio," the neglected stepchild of the NBC prime-time lineup that stars Phil Hartman and one of our faves, Andy Dick. In response to a report that the show was in trouble of non-renewal, Jerry Seinfeld, who has turned down numerous NBC sitcoms' requests to appear on their show, *volunteered* to appear on "NewsRadio" (look for him on May 's ep) and is lobbying behind the scenes for it to return -- perhaps even in the post-"Seinfeld" time slot ... USA Network has bought the TV rights to Howard Stern's "Private Parts." Look for it in 1999 ... Daniel Kellison, who was fired on the flimsiest of pretenses as executive producer of "The Rosie O'Donnell Show," has landed on his feet as e.p. of the most promising new late show for next season, Quincy Jones's "Vibe" ... The D.C. situation worsens. Kevin Kelly writes, "Here in our nation's capital (of all places) 'Politically Incorrect' has always been delayed until 12:35, to allow for another important edition of 'Extra.' And poor old Tom Snyder is actually losing ground. Since the beginning, the 'Late Late Show' was delayed until 1:05 in favor of a rebroadcast of that day's 'Entertainment Tonight.' About 3 weeks ago the local affiliate began running a repeat of 'Sally' at 12:35, further delaying TS until 1:35. Meanwhile, the nearby Baltimore affiliate carries the 'LLS' at its god-given 12:35 time but my D.C.-area cable provider no longer carries Baltimore stations." Hey! Someone help that man file a must-carry petition. Not surprisingly, neither of the two stations jerking around these shows is a network-owned affiliate ... "Nightline" continues its three nights of broadcasts from Hong Kong tonight and Tuesday. The mainland city is reverting to Chinese rule this summer, and Koppel, who was ABC's main in Hong Kong from 1969-71, wanted one last look at the British colony ... And check out the hilariously detailed story in the new Entertainment Weekly listing all the clothes worn by Molly Shannon's Catholic-schoolgirl character, Mary Katherine Gallagher, on "SNL." Hey, big surprise -- the undies are Carter's! *** UNSTUCK IN TIME by Mark Evanier [Contributor Mark Evanier, who will hopefully forgive me for pushing this piece down to accommodate the new format, is a longtime TV and 'toon writer and columnist for the weekly Comics Buyers Guide.] I recently read a wire-service interview with Jack Paar, the man the report said "all but invented the late-night talk show." (One presumes Steve Allen was not polled.) The purpose was officially to promote Paar's upcoming PBS Special May 7. But it more likely convinced many that Mr. Paar is becoming one of those crotchety old guys who sits in a rocker at the home, insisting everything was better in his day. His day was 1957-1962, when he held forth on "The Tonight Show," followed by 3 years of a not-dissimilar prime time hour. His show was controversial, oft-quoted, and hailed as an oasis of urbane wit. It was certainly, at times, all of that. One might wonder, though, if it was as utterly unlike its current-day counterparts as Paar would like to believe. I had the pleasure of meeting Jack Paar -- and it was a pleasure -- about five years ago. I found him to be charming, witty, impossible to dislike, and amazingly unconnected with the world today, especially when the subject of politics was raised. I got the distinct impression that every four years, he goes to the polls and writes in Nixon. His recent press lamentation went much the same way. While admitting personal fondness for Messrs. Leno and Letterman, he admitted to rarely watching either show. Critics of his day called Paar a man who was an expert on nothing but had opinions about everything. That is not the only thing that hasn't changed. "The sophomoric antics of Letterman and Leno belong to a different generation," the article stated, then quoted Paar as boasting, "I never had a rock act on the show, nor any juvenile humor." Of course, one might note, rock acts were neither as popular nor as accepted in Paar's day. He goes on: "We found people like Hans Conried, Peter Ustinov, Alexander King, Robert Morley and Malcolm Muggeridge who appealed to mature viewers. Today they use the same situation comedy actors with no backgrounds. They're from gas stations; they have no history." Granted, Paar had some interesting talkers in his rep company. But was perennial scatterbrain Dody Goodman (reportedly Paar's most oft-booked guest) any more the intellectual heavyweight than Lisa Kudrow? Exactly what history did Peggy Cass or all those Gabors bring to his stage? Cliff "Charley Weaver" Arquette was a charming man, but did his hoary, folksy jokes really appeal to more mature viewers than any stand-up now seen on Leno or Letterman? And most importantly, did America really need that much Joey Bishop? Mr. Paar shared with today's Mr. Letterman, a predilection for a kind of talk show comedy that sends me diving for the remote: Humor based on laughing at those who have not quite mastered English as a second language. Dave sets up local merchants and cab drivers for the kill. Paar had a stock roster of guests, inarticulate in our native tongue, like the French chanteuse Genevieve, and Reiko, a lovely but befuddled Japanese woman. (Reiko's only "history" or claim to air-time was that she was the spouse of the great comedy writer, Jack Douglas. Paar would book the duo, ignore Douglas, and spend the interview drawing out Reiko's bad English and naivete about America.) Many laughs were also generated via the vicious accent of Paar's bandleader, Jose Melis. It wasn't all Peter Ustinov back then. Paar is, of course, doing just what his PBS special will presumably do: Recall his shining moments and forget his sillier ones. NBC's archivists have assisted in the latter task by losing most of his tapes and kinescopes. He had his sophomoric moments, often in the form of petulant on-air feuds with the likes of Walter Winchell and Ed Sullivan. Jay and Dave may do some silly things, but neither ever walked off their show in mid-broadcast, as Paar once did, nor has either shed real tears over bad reviews. Fact is, Paar's place in broadcast history is secure. He has nothing to gain by lobbing pebbles at shows that today continue his tradition. For every Jonathan Winters, Robert Morley or Oscar Levant he can point to as a trophy, Dave or Jay can book a Robin Williams, a Tracey Ullman, a Charles Grodin. (Letterman's two most frequent guests are Tony Randall and Dan Rather -- not exactly bookings to lure the MTV audience.) The problem may be that, like Billy Pilgrim before him, Jack Paar has become unstuck in time: He doesn't know today's stars, so he thinks they all hail from gas stations. His ill-fated, quickly-forgotten 1973 return to late night TV proved that he was clever and funny, and unaware that show biz had evolved one inch since the Kennedy Administration. Today, nothing has changed about him, except that he's now two dozen more years out of sync. *** Look for my own take on the Paar remembrance in next week's LSN. Or, head to www.kcstar.com at 12:01 a.m. Sunday the 4th if you're an early-bird (click Showtime).s Reader mail begins with this e-mail from a "Saturday Night Live" inside source: "The person who wrote you about Norm MacDonald's writers being the reason for his failings is WRONG. Norm himself picks out every (pathetic) joke; he listens to no one, and no one else can be blamed. He is given material which several writers work on all week long, but anything with intelligence -- that is, about the NEWS -- is discarded so that Norm can continue making digs at gays, Frank Stallone, David Hasselhoff, Janet Reno, and about anal sex. *Why* is the question, as these petty comments are invariably unfunny and cause most of the staff to wince. One thing to know about Norm is he does NOT follow the news. Hasn't a clue or care about it (unlike Kevin Nealon). Norm reads the sports section of newspapers, and that's it. His style may be compelling as the 'Weekend Update' anchor, but to anyone who respects political humor, he is a major failure" ... Ralf Guenthner writes, "As one of your German subscribers I'd like to note that 'Die Harald Schmidt Show,' in my humble opinion, simply sucks. It started out as an exact copy of 'Late Show,' with Schmidt even mimicking Dave's gestures and everything. When ratings started to drop, the concept was changed and they started doing 'theme shows,' e.g., everyone dressed up like noblepersons in the French Rokoko era. The ratings stayed up, as long as Schmidt was doing his monologues, but as soon as the first guest came in, people zapped away. ... He's unusually mean and has no respect for dignitaries. But when confronted with guests in a late night environment his skills can't be put to such a good effect. Presently ratings are dragging along ... I still get agitated, when I think that I can't see Dave anymore, because SAT 1 bought the broadcast rights and chooses NOT to utilize them in order to save Schmidt from competition. Grrr." Incidentally, I'll be updating the Schmidt situation soon; I'm getting some tapes of recent shows sent over from one of my PALs there (a little videotape-format humor, that) ... Lots of letters from people wondering what they missed by not catching the Spice Girls on "SNL" last week. Simply put, you missed the biggest live flop on that show since Laura Branigan rasped through her December 1982 performance ... A couple of female readers expressed their dismay at my using "pussy patch," a la Steven Bochco (remember "Public Morals"?), to describe Pamela Lee's fig leaf during that same "SNL," although Annie Katz wrote back to note that Hank Kingsley uses the same damn phrase, context unknown, in a "Larry Sanders" episode from this season. See what you learn reading LATE SHOW NEWS? Tom Heald's THIS NIGHT IN HISTORY Mo 4/28: In 1950, a giant chin is born in New Rochelle, NY. Its name? James Douglas Muir Leno. Tu 4/29: In 1985, on the tenth anniversary of Saigon's withdrawal from Vietnam, Ted Koppel sits atop the Caravelle Hotel in Ho Chi Minh City, under a blazing sun (plus television lighting), to interview via satellite Vietnam peace talk counterparts Henry Kissenger and Le Duc Tho. The wind picks up, Koppel is sweating like a pig, and now he can't hear either guest through his earpiece. Tho keeps talking, "for about nine hours." ABC loses satellite contact with Koppel, and has Charles Gibson continue interviewing Kissinger. Koppel remembers it as "the worst 'Nightline' in history." We 4/30: Times change -- In 1986, "The Official G.E. Handshake Logo" is introduced on "Late Night With David Letterman." Five years later, on the 4/30/91 show, Dave displays the "G.E. voodoo doll." Th 5/1 : In 1972, "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson" moves from New York City and begins broadcasting from beautiful downtown Burbank, Calif. Fr 5/2: In 1980, Johnny Carson signs a historic $5 million a year contract with the National Broadcasting Company, for more money *and* better hours (a 4-day work week), and the "Tonight Show" is cut from 90 minutes to an hour nightly. Sa 5/3: In 1984, on "Late Night with David Letterman," to commemorate the 23rd anniversary of Alan Shepard's Mercury sub-orbital flight, David Letterman and Paul Shaffer compete in the "Rocket Chair Race," announced by Bob Costas, in the NBC hallways. Dave wins at 11.03 seconds. Su 5/4: In 1965, Michael Berger is born. Before cohosting the processed cheese that was ABC daytime's "Mike & Maty," Berger hosted "Personals," a late night "Studs" ripoff following CBS's "Crimetime After Primetime" lineup from September 1991 to December 1992 [Thanks to Dave Tanny, Tim Brooks and Earl Marsh. Special thanks to Donz5, who just cancelled his blind date with Ellen DeGeneres ...] The card you picked was the Three of Clubs. E-mail Tom Heald at THE LINEUPS (with Sue Trowbridge) LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS Mo 4/28 Kurt Russell, Sinbad, Paula Cole Tu 4/29 Robin Williams, Tanya Tucker We 4/30 Alec Baldwin, Joey Lauren Adams, Indigo Girls Th 5/1 Luke Perry, Justin Miller, Wendy Liebman THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC Mo 4/28 Debrah Farentino, pig trainer John Vincent Tu 4/29 Kathy Ireland, Alex D. Linz, David Helfgott We 4/30 TBA Th 5/1 Mike Myers, Anne Heche, 11-year-old inventor Richie Stachowski Fr 5/2 Jenny McCarthy, Clyde Peeling Mo 5/5 Jonathan Winters, Sharon Lawrence, Lance Burton Tu 5/6 Robin Williams and Billy Crystal We 5/7 Dana Carvey, Armand Assante Th 5/8 Noah Wyle, Rebecca Romijn, Cyndi Lauper LATE LATE SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER, CBS Mo 4/28 The 500th Episode of The Late Late Show Tu 4/29 TBA We 4/30 Bill Paxton, correspondent Col. David Hackworth Th 5/1 TBA Fr 5/2 Mary Steenburgen Mo 5/5 TBA Tu 5/6 Michele Lee We 5/7 Letitia Baldridge Th 5/8 Huey Lewis and the News Fr 5/9 Queen Latifah LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC Mo 4/28 Phil Hartman, Roger Ebert, Ken Shamrock (R 1/22/96) Tu 4/29 Sinbad, Roy Clark, Deana Carter We 4/30 David Sedaris, Clea Lewis Th 5/1 Silverchair LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN RERUNS, CNBC Mo 4/28 Norm MacDonald, Christopher Guest, Sleeping Giants (R 2/21/97) Tu 4/29 Debi Mazar, Jim Breuer, John Walsh (R 4/1/97) We 4/30 Robin Leach, Tony Carnin, Michael T. Weiss (R 4/2/97) Th 5/1 Pauly Shore, Bruno Kirby, Steve Earle with the V Boys (R 4/3/97) Fr 5/2 Jean-Claude van Damme, Margaret Colin, Johnny Lang (R 4/4/97) LATER, NBC Mo 4/28 Cindy Crawford with David Spade Tu 4/29 Cindy Crawford with Kristen Johnston We 4/30 Cindy Crawford with Kevin Pollak Th 5/1 Cindy Crawford with Jeff Goldblum CHARLIE ROSE, PBS Mo 4/28 TBA Tu 4/29 Peter Bogdanovich, Elizabeth Drew We 4/30 Michael Pollen Th 5/1 Earl Woods Fr 5/2 Kofi Annan (tentative) POLITICALLY INCORRECT WITH BILL MAHER, ABC Mo 4/28 Rebecca DeMornay, Wayne Dyer, Emme, Joe Montegna Tu 4/29 Holly McClure, Jane Seymour, Kevin Smith We 4/30 Kevin Pollak, Steven Weber, Kim Alexis, Jennifer Grossman Th 5/1 Harold Ramis, Cathy Moriarty, Elayne Boosler Fr 5/2 French Stewart, Joe Califano, Jenica Bergere THE DAILY SHOW, Comedy Central Mo 4/28 Janeane Garafolo Tu 4/29 Wilt Chamberlain We 4/30 Wendy Liebman Th 5/1 Joely Fisher ("Ellen") HOWARD STERN, E! Mo 4/28 Stuttering John at VH-1 Honors, Jail Barrymore In Sylvia's Funeral Tu 4/29 Michael Buffer and Girlfriend, Stut. John's Scam Backfires, Pt. 1 We 4/30 Grandpa Al Lewis, Stut. John's Scam Backfires, Pt. 2 Th 5/1 Sandra Bernhard & Models, Pt. 1, Gary Vs. Howard: Music Fr 5/2 Sandra Bernhard & Models, Pt. 2, Sal, King of All Gary Pranks Sa 5/3 Intern Beauty Contest , Pts. 1-2 DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1 29.04 Kid science whiz Heinrich Hartmann, Guenther Jauch, comic Michael Mittermaier 30.04 Heinz Rudolf Kunze, Elke Heidenreich BJ 02.05 Oliver Kalkofe, Birgit Schrowange 06.05 Katja Flint SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network Fr 5/2 Sandra Bernhard, Palmer Mills (R) SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC Sa 5/3 Rosie O'Donnell, Penny Marshall, Whitney Houston (R) Also on late nights: NIGHTLINE, ABC CHARLES GRODIN, CNBC CARSON'S COMEDY CLASSICS, Family Channel MAD TV, Fox SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Comedy Central WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS ====================================================== AARON BARNHART IN THE KANSAS CITY STAR (soon to be a Knight-Ridder newspaper) How to find my articles in the Star archive: (1) Go to . (2) Under the "Additional search criteria" heading, type Aaron Barnhart in the "AUTHOR" entry blank. (3) Click the Search button. Entire contents Copyright 1997 by Aaron Barnhart. All rights reserved. Distributed by e-mail and BBS to over 10,000 readers weekly. Late Show News is made possible with the generous assistance of ECHO, New York City's premiere online service. Send news for and comments about this newsletter to aaron@tvbarn.com