LATE SHOW NEWS #156 June 10, 1997 by Aaron Barnhart Well, it's not working. At the beginning of this year I moved the publication date for LATE SHOW NEWS from Tuesday to Monday in anticipation of the demands of my new job at The Kansas City Star. It's a demanding job, all right -- so demanding that I've been finding the last thing I wanted to do on a Sunday night is sit in the basement trying to knock out this newsletter. Consequently, the de facto publication day of late has become, as you've no doubt noticed, Tuesday, not Monday. And as of this minute, it's official ... Okay, so now that I've demonstrated I can't always predict how things will turn out, let me show you someone who can: Michael Moore. The San Francisco Chronicle last week discovered this passage in "Downsize This!", the 1996 book by the LATE SHOW NEWS favorite. In a chapter in which Moore was challenging white critics of O.J. Simpson's alibi during Simpson's criminal trial, Moore wrote: "What if O.J. were white? Would you feel just the slightest bit different? If that incredible scenario had been told to you about, say, FRANK GIFFORD OR MARV ALBERT, would you be so quick to rush to judgment?" (Emphasis mine.) Moore's crystal-ball feat gave me the first actual laugh at those guys' expense since their troubles began ... Moore will certainly get the publicity award for the week, which is more than can be said of CBS for dropping the words "Texas Ranger" when promoting its Saturday-night series that stars Chuck Norris. Jeez, fellas, you're already battling the reputation of being an old-folks channel -- is having a show that's just called "Walker" going to help? ... That was a great Letterman show on Friday: a couple of winning monologue jokes, terrific viewer mail -- including a chance to see long-suffering writer Gerry Mulligan wearing another swishy costume, this time to portray an "angel" who "touches" people on the D train -- and an astonishingly fresh and committed rendition of "Fortunate Son" by good ole John Fogerty himself, whose new album is getting raves. Oh, yeah, and then there was that Farrah Fawcett business. Farrah apparently enjoyed a few of the pre-show tequilas and fluttered onto stage for two hilariously spacy acts in which she mistook Dave's backdrop for an actual apartment window, had trouble attaching verbs to nouns to punctuation, and generally behaved as though she hadn't done a talk show in 20 years, which she probably hasn't. Farrah is promoting a Playboy pay-per-view video that's airing this week, and she's also on the cover of Playboy's print edition, wherein she graces a pictorial mistitled, "All of Me." (Sorry, but not one of the photos in the spread shows her left cheek.) More interesting, in that same issue, were the "20 Questions" with former "SNL" player Jon Lovitz, who talks about his lifelong friend, Lisa Kudrow: "When I was in college and she was about 14 we would always talk about acting. I got her a book about auditioning and wrote in it: 'To My Fellow Thespian.' When I was on 'Saturday Night Live' I encouraged her to take classes at the Groundlings Theater and she did. Now she tells me I inspired her. That makes me feel pretty good." Kudrow also met Conan O'Brien at Groundlings, and the two were an item at the time he got the "Late Night" gig. But returning to our original topic ... Dave was in wonderfully good form all night. As audience members began howling with laughter at Fawcett's every mangled response -- a scene reminiscent of "Late Night" broadcasts from far too many years ago -- Letterman shared the joke with his audience while trying, with that familiar tone of gentle desperation, to bring Farrah into moor, knowing that if he failed it would probably be funnier, anyway. It was. In the last minute of the broadcast, with bumped guest Craig Kilborn beside him -- Craig had just enough time to say, "Dave, whenever I'm in New York, I always love to do *your* show!" -- Letterman thanked his guests, "and Farrah Fawcett for almost being here" ... Harlan Ellison has a footnote in his new "Edgeworks, Vol. 3" about the time he went batshit at panelist Starr Parker during a taping of "Politically Incorrect" and the producers cut the whole rant, zip, just spliced it clean out of the broadcast ... I was amazed to open up my list of daily wire-service reports filed by the major networks and discover ABC promoting "World News Now," which is television's top-rated overnight newscast, but usually languishes in obscurity. (It airs live from 2 to 4 a.m. Monday through Friday from New York and is re-aired throughout the night.) Even better, there's a great reason behind the promotion. The show sent "World News Now Polka" author and accordionist Barry Mitchell to Las Vegas for no particular reason at all and he compiled a week's worth of bits, which began airing on "WNN" this morning. Later this week Barry will hang with David Cassidy and perform an all-new song parody with Wayne Newton. The newscast's long tradition of goofiness seems to have rubbed off on its new executive producer, Ray Brune. The only question I have is, where'd Brune find the money in this perpetually broke show's budget to send Mitchell on a trip? ... On a related note, CBS's nearly-invisible two-month-old cable channel, Eye on People, has cancelled "Off Tenth," the talk show with Richard Schlesinger and former "WNN" co-anchor Thalia Assuras ... For those of you wondering what has happened to Howard Stern's drawing power since his first feature, "Private Parts," drew only middling box office earlier this year, consider this: the May 30 broadcast of "Late Night with Conan O'Brien," for the first time in its history, drew a larger audience in the largest t.v. market, New York City, than its lead-in, "The Tonight Show." Conan's lead guest? None other than Fartman himself; and it was a *repeat* of Stern's March 13 appearance, no less, that topped Leno's new show ... Oops! Seattle Times TV critic Chuck Taylor writes, "Well, now that everyone has read your item on Dave being bumped to midnight here, KSTW has changed its mind. He will remain at 11:35 until CBS moves to KIRO and UPN moves to KSTW." Tom Heald's THIS NIGHT IN HISTORY Tu 6/10: In 1989, "Tales From The Crypt" debuts on HBO, with "L.A. Law's" Larry Drake as an escaped mental patient on Christmas Eve in "And All Through the House...", adapted from a tale from "The Vault of Horror." Publisher William Gaines allowed Robert Zemekis the rights to do the show on the condition that all episodes be directly based on magazines from the original EC Comics library. We 6/11: In a 1991 "Late Night," Letterman asks Meg Parsont (from across the street at Simon & Schuster) to throw toilet paper out of her office window to celebrate the Gulf War parade that occurred the day before. Th 6/12 : In 1995, Rosie O'Donnell becomes the first guest host of "Later." Her success here convinces Warner Brothers executives to snap up O'Donnell for her *own* talk show. Fr 6/13: In 1981, Tom Snyder interviews Charles Manson on "The Tomorrow Show." It's one of the few times that Snyder's hair actually looks *better* than his guest's. Sa 6/14: In 1967, The man who "invented" the late night talk show before Jack Paar "invented" it, Steve Allen, returns to primetime on CBS for a two-month run of "The Steve Allen Comedy Hour." Su 6/15 : In 1984, "Thicke Of The Night" last airs in syndication. The winner and still champion: NBC's "The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson" in a knockout of Alan Thicke. Mo 6/16 : In 1980, "The Blues Brothers" movie premieres in Chicago, starring John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd, reprising their "Saturday Night Live" characters Jake and Elwood Blues. The film holds the world's record for the number of cars crashed. [Thanks to Chris Clark, Dave Tanny, Tim Brooks & Earl Marsh. Special thanks to the private dick who's a sex machine to all the chicks, Donz5. Can you dig it?] Very merry unbirthday wishes may be sent to Tom Heald at THE LINEUPS (with Sue Trowbridge) LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS Mo 6/9 Harrison Ford, Steven Wright, Dave Matthews Band Tu 6/10 Isabella Rossellini, Dave Chappelle, Gil Shaham We 6/11 Seven Mary Three Th 6/12 Tom Brokaw, Patricia Richardson, Sheryl Crow Fr 6/13 John Travolta, Sinead O'Connor Mo 6/16 George Carlin, James Taylor Tu 6/17 Kathy Ireland, Richard Kind, Jeremy Hotz THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC Mo 6/9 Sandra Bullock, Charles Shaughnessy Tu 6/10 George Clooney, Gary McCord, Charles Cozart We 6/11 Chris O'Donnell, Anita Baker Th 6/12 Arnold Schwarzenegger, Paulina Porizkova, Trisha Yearwood Fr 6/13 Elle MacPherson, Foo Fighters Mo 6/16 Conan O'Brien Tu 6/17 TBA We 6/18 Faye Dunaway, Evander Holyfield, wiener dog races Th 6/19 k.d. lang LATE LATE SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER, CBS Mo 6/9 Bill Cosby, Morton Downey Jr. Tu 6/10 Mary Matalin, Anthony LaPaglia We 6/11 TBA Th 6/12 Illeana Douglas, undercover DEA agent Heidi Landgraf Fr 6/13 Robert Blake, author Linda Fairstein LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC Mo 6/9 Ice T, Dwight Yoakam, Jack Gallagher (R 2/26/97) Tu 6/10 Spike Lee, Arianna Huffington, Ben Folds Five We 6/11 Hunter Thompson, Lewis Black Th 6/12 Gloria Reuben, Third Eye Blind Fr 6/13 David Arquette, Jeff Garlin Mo 6/16 Bob Costas, Merrill Markoe, Bonnie Raitt with Little Milton (R 2/28/97) LATER, NBC Mo 6/9 Tommy Davidson with Isaac Hayes (R 11/27/96) Tu 6/10 Tommy Davidson with Chuck D (R 11/26/96) We 6/11 Tommy Davidson with Jamie Foxx (R 11/25/96) Th 6/12 Tommy Davidson with Dweezil & Ahmet Zappa (R 2/12/97) CHARLIE ROSE, PBS Mo 6/9 Charlie Rose in Paris Tu 6/10 Charlie Rose in Paris We 6/11 Colin Powell Th 6/12 Reed Hundt, Jason Patric Fr 6/13 Isabella Rossellini, Charles Grodin Mo 6/16 Race Initiative Panel; Stuart Stevens Tu 6/17 Richard Jenrette, Andrew Cuomo We 6/18 Jan de Bont, Dr. David Ho Th 6/19 "Cats" Roundtable POLITICALLY INCORRECT WITH BILL MAHER, ABC Mo 6/9 Karen Finley, Lakita Garth, Louise Mandrell, Annie Wood Tu 6/10 Jim Rome, Marty Stuart, Robert Klein, Reverend Jerry Falwell We 6/11 Darius Rucker, Linda Fairstein, Celeste Greig, David Brenner Th 6/12 Evan Handler, Richard Lewis, Isadore Rosenfeld, M.D., Megan Gallagher Fr 6/13 Mykelti Williamson THE DAILY SHOW, Comedy Central Mo 6/9 Andy Dick Tu 6/10 Reginald VelJohnson ("Family Matters") We 6/11 Charles Shaughnessy ("The Nanny") Th 6/12 Dave Chappelle DENNIS MILLER LIVE, HBO Fr 6/13 George Carlin on "the Military" Fr 6/20 TBA Fr 6/27 Jerry Seinfeld on "Bad Drivers" SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network Fr 6/13 (pre-empted) DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1 Di 10/06 Stefan Raab, Ines Vogel ("Miss World Fitness"), Helmut Dietl Mi 11/06 Klaus Loewitsch, Piet Klocke Do 12/06 Michaela Merten, Wigald Boning und Carol Campbell So 15/06 Andre Kostolany HOWARD STERN, E! (lineups not available) Also on late nights: NIGHTLINE, ABC CHARLES GRODIN, CNBC CARSON'S COMEDY CLASSICS, Family Channel MAD TV, Fox SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Comedy Central WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS Entire contents Copyright 1997 by Aaron Barnhart. All rights reserved. Distributed by e-mail and BBS to over 10,000 readers weekly. Late Show News is made possible with the generous assistance of ECHO, New York City's premiere online service. Send news for and comments about this newsletter to aaron@tvbarn.com