LATE SHOW NEWS #205 June 9, 1998 by Aaron Barnhart To join or leave the LATE-SHOW-NEWS mailing list, instructions are at end of message. The petulant, pissy people who bring NBC programs into your home each and every day have decided that they will not air ads for former "SNL" player Norm Macdonald's new movie, "Dirty Work," thereby ensuring that flick far more publicity than it probably deserves. Nice job, NBC -- once again you've fired from the hip without remembering first to take your gun out of the holster. This used to involve just Macdonald and Don Ohlmeyer, friend of O.J. Simpson and foe of Macdonald. Ohlmeyer, you'll recall, pulled Macdonald off "Weekend Update" over the holidays and things went downhill from there. But now the whole network is into it. A network spokesman, confirming the report that MGM's ads for "Dirty Work" had not been cleared for air during the May 23 "SNL," told Variety that NBC "doesn't want to sell a movie for a comedian they feel went public and misrepresented the reasons behind his removal from 'Weekend Update.'" Well, guess what, dodo birds -- you're selling the movie *anyway.* Macdonald just happened to show up on "Late Show" last Tuesday and naturally, the NBC-Macdonald spat was all Letterman could talk about. (Dave and Norm are now colleagues since Macdonald was signed to a deal to appear on Howard Stern's upcoming CBS late-nighter.) The so-called "misrepresentation" revolves around Macdonald's assertion that his repeated digs at Simpson irritated Ohlmeyer to no end. No, said Ohlmeyer, Macdonald was removed because he wasn't funny. The amazing thing is that Ohlmeyer made this judgment call, not over the holidays, but *three years ago,* during what was perhaps "SNL's" most creatively challenged stretch. That's when Ohlmeyer and NBC late-night exec Rick Ludwin started their crusade from the West Coast to get Macdonald off "Update," as Tom Shales reported at the time of the demotion. Not everyone was a fan of Macdonald's rude 'n' crude "Update," but it enjoyed a fairly good-sized critical following. Name one other feature on "SNL" that could say the same during those years. So it ain't exactly a stretch to ask whether Ohlmeyer might have sublimated his irritation at Macdonald for his O.J. jokes -- many of which went far beyond the grinny Leno pale -- through a warped critique of Macdonald's fake newsreader skills. After all, it takes real determination to single out Norm Macdonald on a show that's got Darrell Hammond on it. At any rate, this is no longer a two-man feud. It involves Letterman and Stern and Ludwin and two of the major television networks. The good news is it will be over soon. After all, if you want to see something go away in a hurry, just get a major TV network involved with it. *** Six months in the making, the official cyber-spot for "Late Show with David Letterman" is online. And you don't need America Online to access it; simply go to CBS's Web site (or if you don't like playing by the rules, http://marketing.cbs.com/lateshow/ is the direct link). It's a fast-loading, smart-looking, content- rich site. I won't give you the Top Ten reasons to go there -- mainly because there's a helluva lot more than ten good reasons. I found Monday night's Top Ten List on the Web site a full 90 minutes before airtime (and who knows, it could've been posted even earlier; the list is read on air about six hours before air). Even better, there's now "Top Ten Extra," with all kinds of throwaways straight from the writers. The feeling one gets in reading them is akin to rummaging through the writers' trash cans. Most of the "Extra" punch lines are admittedly eh in quality but it only takes a few gems to make it worth your while. Not only do you get to submit questions to Dave, you can also pose them to executive producer Rob Burnett and he'll answer them online. Steve Young is back with his record collection, as are the Wahoo Gazette and online ticket office. Some of the features my poor ole '040-generation Mac couldn't handle. I couldn't hear the Comedy Review or nightly monologue in RealAudio. But I did get to hear a snippet of the beloved foul-mouthed character Peggy (Kathleen Ankers), still in .wav format. The Top Ten archive offers both keyword searching and full indices for each year. But as Tom Heald discovered while researching this week's "This Night in History" column, a Top Ten list from two years ago, "Shocking Revelations in the New Book about Princess Di," has been deleted. This is a puzzling decision by either CBS or Worldwide Pants; what could there possibly be in that and other deleted-Diana lists to offend anyone? Why assist Earl Spencer in the questionable canonization of his dead celebrity sister? While you're at it, why not get rid of that 1994 Grammys Top Ten because it had the line, "If I sign up a hundred people to do a duet with Sinatra, I win a mini-bike"? Anyway, that's just a taste of the new "Late Show" site. Go there and marvel at how much they've shoehorned in. The late shows -- not only Letterman but Leno and Conan (whose site is getting a refurb as we speak) -- are leading the pack when it comes to "official" Web content. Their cooperation with fan pages, both at NBC and CBS, should be a model to the greedy pinheads at Fox, who still think clamping down on content is the way to win friends on the Internet. *** Charles Grodin's misguided talk show is gone. CNBC yanked it after last Thursday's broadcast. Insider chatter says that Grodin was taken off the air for his constant anti-capitalist diatribes, which if true would make the CNBC executives even more thin-skinned than Don Ohlmeyer. The reason Grodin should've been taken off the air is that his show was, three nights out of four, a burden on the airwaves. "Charles Grodin" combined the overloaded, overhyped panel format of MSNBC with a singularly grating style that I liken to listening to Morton Kondracke and three of his clones argue. Grodin says he's going to work on a PBS special. Good for you, Chuck -- now we *really* don't have to pay attention to you ... On the renewal front, "Mystery Science Theater 3000" just got picked up for another 13-episode run on the Sci-Fi Channel. The new episodes will air in first quarter 1999 ... I'm withholding judgment on Earvin "Magic" Johnson's talk show try "The Magic Hour" for a while, maybe for as long as a month. I got the idea from another late-night talk-show producer who told me in a recent phone conversation, "I think I'll tune that show in during week four, when he's run through all of the 'A' guests. I'm looking forward to that." I see his point ... Not a good sign: "Vibe" is being downgraded next season by Paramount-owned stations in Philly, Sacramento and Tampa. Even though the show's been cleared for next season in more than 90 percent of the country, its syndicator hasn't said fersher if Sinbad & Co. will actually be renewed ... So, my German readers are wondering, does the success of Brainpool-produced "Die Wochenshow" signal trouble for its competition on Saturday night, RTL's "Samstag Nacht"? Depends on how you look at it. According to my moles (i.e., people who can read magazines printed in German), RTL has taken the show off the air for now, but plans to revv up "Samstag Nacht" next summer with an all-new cast. On the other hand, RTL is planning a German version of Fox's "MAD TV" and if *that* takes off, then I'd imagine "Samstag" would head off into that guten nacht ... Quality Update: Several readers who tried to bookmark the new LATE SHOW NEWS latest-issue URL reported back that since I had not formatted the page with even the most primitive of HTML commands, I had made a mess of their browser's bookmark menu. So I scratched together the simplest of templates and can report that LSN now has a title line that you'll be proud to introduce to the rest of your bookmarks. (Don't even think of asking for full hyperlinks.) Also, the URL changed to latest.html ... Hey! What happened to "The Larry Sanders Show"? I reviewed the May 31 series finale for my newspaper, but it fell off the LSN radar mainly because I didn't put out any issues between May 12 and June 2. (I'm told, however, that something went out under my name with a review of the last "Seinfeld.") By June 2, of course, "Sanders" was history. And for some reason the review I wrote never appeared in the Star's electronic archive. But if you really must know, I praised the finale as a satisfying conclusion to the six years of "Sanders" -- and predicted that, therefore, the show's longtime fans would hate it. *** Reader mail: A comedian who warms up the crowd before television shows comes to the aid of Eddie Brill, the "Late Show" warmup guy whose act "stunk," according to a letter-writer in last week's issue. The warmup guy, who wishes to remain anonymous, points out that the "Late Show" warmup "is timed out to the second" and offers a sample run-through that Brill is paid to follow to the letter (and the second): "5:12:15 (yes, that's 5:12 pm and 15 seconds). Intro tape of Dave at Taco Bell with 'Welcome to the Late Show!' [cheers] 'Hey, we've got a great tape of Dave at Taco Bell for you, and we'll talk in a second. "5:15:45. Tape ends. Warmup comic begins. You have FIVE minutes to do some of your own jokes. In that FIVE minutes, you must also include all the announcements about no yelling and turning off cell phones and exhorting them to give energy, as well as telling them about clapping before and after commercials and taking them through an example of clapping as each guest is announced during the rolled-in open to the show. "So let's make that THREE minutes of actual jokes. "At 5:20:45 EXACTLY, intro band. As the band plays the first song (the name of which escapes me), get the audience clapping. From this point on, you are basically there to lead clapping. "5:24:15. While the first song continues, introduce Paul. Paul will end the song, then say 'The CBS Orchestra!' Then the band plays second song 'Dancing in the Streets.' Get audience clapping again. "5:26:45. At end of second song, you say, 'That's Paul Schaefer and the CBS Orchestra!' Then, 'Are you guys ready to meet Dave?' Then, 'Ladies and gentlemen, David Letterman!' "5:30:00 Show starts. "Let me just say I think the fact that the show ALWAYS starts exactly on time is wonderful. I've never warmed up any other show that insists upon that. It's a throwback to the days when they HAD to do it that way, and it is consummately professional. But to say the poor warmup guy STUNK ...! It's like going to a fine restaurant and putting down the mints" ... Among the readers who enjoyed watching old "Later with Bob Costas" broadcasts, recently replayed on NBC, is Arpegeis who writes, "Was anyone else depressed to see Bob Costas and his 'Later' episodes? To see one final(?) glimpse of what a great, great host and show that was? The four Mel Brooks interviews are without a doubt among the funniest bits of TV ever. To see the moronic hosts with an IQ of 4 hosting the show and calling it 'Later' is an insult to Bob Costas. The Rob Scheidner ones remind of David Lynch's attempt at a sitcom" ... Troy Diggs writes, "While it's not late night per se, 'Bobcat's Big Ass Show' on FX (with Bobcat Goldthwait) certainly deserves to be there as the biggest waste of time since Chevy Chase's show. This show clearly marks the metamorphosis of what was originally fX, 'TV Made Fresh Daily,' to FX, 'Fox on Cable.' Sick, twisted humor works, sure; 'South Park' is a great example. The difference here is that 'South Park' does it in a way that has bite to it; Bobcat does it because, well, because FX told him he could. Critics may say that 'South Park' is the destruction of quality TV, but no, THIS is" ... Michael Hainsworth, a news anchor at Toronto's News680, was upset to read in last week's issue that Mullen will be leaving "World News Now." He writes, "I consider Mark Mullen to be among the top newsreaders in North America. The management weasels in this business have yet to figure out that it's possible to be a credible force in news yet still maintain a laid-back and personable image. Mark Mullen manages to do both, albeit on an overnight news program where his talents are viewed by few. I've watched Mark slide effortlessly from lighthearted 'happychat' into death and destruction then back without making the viewer feel any discomfort in the process. If ABC has any smarts, they'd put this guy in the spotlight and turn him into a major player in evening news. I'd rather watch him than expatriate Peter Jennings any day" ... Matt Yuen writes, "What a wonderful appreciation to Phil Hartman by by Paul Harris. One aspect of Hartman's life that has been completely overlooked by every media story so far is that he received what is possibly the highest tribute to his impersonation skills. In a Letterman appearance several years ago, Phil Hartman performed some wonderfully dead-on impersonations of Jack Nicholson. According to Hartman, he would occasionally be called to do the looping for Nicholson films when Nicholson was not or would not be available. Now *that* is a tribute." I understand, by the way, that Bill Cosby has a similar arrangement with *his* voice double when Cos can't be on hand to dub a commercial. THE LINEUPS with Sue Trowbridge (http://www.interbridge.com/) LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS Tu 6/9 Andy Dick, Wendy Liebman We 6/10 Bob Newhart, Nicole Sullivan, Jason Kuller Th 6/11 Billy Crystal, Paul Rodriguez Fr 6/12 Dane Cook Mo 6/15 Naomi Campbell, George Miller, Sinead O'Connor Tu 6/16 David Duchovny, Chloe Sevigny, Stevie Nicks We 6/17 Ellen Barkin, Jeff Altman, Sonic Youth Th 6/18 Sam Donaldson, Gloria Reuben, Babyface and Des'ree Fr 6/19 Sean Lennon THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC Tu 6/9 Gloria Estefan We 6/10 Gillian Anderson, Hank Azaria, Rosalynn Carter Th 6/11 David Duchovny, Laura Innes, pizza-maker Chris Witting Fr 6/12 Dwight Yoakam; a three-person high-school graduating class from South Dakota Mo 6/15 Ringo Starr, Marilu Henner Tu 6/16 Kim Delaney, elderly newlyweds Irene Webster and Paul Pippett, John Tesh and James Ingram We 6/17 7-year-old cartoon creator Tyler Lee, Howie Mandel, Arianna Huffington Th 6/18 Dennis Miller LATE LATE SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER, CBS Tu 6/9 George Carlin, Nadine Strossen We 6/10 Judge Judy Scheindlin Th 6/11 Jane Leeves, Deborah Tannen Fr 6/12 Gloria Estefan, Mitch Albom Mo 6/15 Roy Blount Jr. Tu 6/16 Ron Suskind We 6/17 Doris Kearns Goodwin Th 6/18 Suzanne Somers, Robbie Robertson Fr 6/19 Harlan Ellison LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC Tu 6/9 Louis C.K., Save Ferris We 6/10 Anne Heche, Ed Byrne, Bob McCoy Th 6/11 Sarah Jessica Parker Fr 6/12 TBA Mo 6/15 Rerun TBA Tu 6/16 Dave Chappelle We 6/17 Charles Grodin (really? after NBC canned him?) Th 6/18 Jonathan Katz Fr 6/19 Marilu Henner, David George Gordon LATER, NBC Mo 6/8 Richard Jeni with Rita Rudner (R) Tu 6/9 Richard Jeni with Monty Hall (R) We 6/10 Richard Jeni with Maureen O'Boyle (R) Th 6/11 Richard Jeni with Ed McMahon (R) THE MAGIC HOUR, syndicated Tu 6/9 Harrison Ford, Peta Wilson, Tommy Davidson We 6/10 Arsenio Hall, Gloria Estefan, Michael Douglas Th 6/11 Kenny G, Christine Lahti Fr 6/12 Gillian Anderson, Pat Riley, George Wallace CHARLIE ROSE, PBS Please note that Charlie Rose listings are very tentative Tu 6/9 Victoria Newhouse, architect Frank Gehry We 6/10 Authors Helen Fielding, Calvin Trillin; Alexander Calder panel with Marla Prather, Roger Sherman, Sandy Rower Th 6/11 Liam Neeson, Anne Heche Fr 6/12 TBA Mo 6/15 Jeffery Archer Tu 6/16 John Berendt We 6/17 TBA Th 6/18 TBA Fr 6/19 Lionel Jospin POLITICALLY INCORRECT WITH BILL MAHER, ABC Tu 6/9 Letitia Baldrige, Larry Klayman We 6/10 Harvey Korman, Giselle Fernandez, Guru, Peter Roff Th 6/11 Vicki Lawrence, Peter MacNicol, Barbara DeAngelis, Rosalie Osias Fr 6/12 Dennis Miller, Jack Burkman, Peta Wilson Mo 6/15 Jonathan Katz, Linda Dano, Mitch Albom Tu 6/16 David Cassidy, Wendie Malick, Roy Blount Jr. We 6/17 Jack LaLanne Th 6/18 TBA Fr 6/19 Howie Mandel, Brad Keena VIBE TV, syndicated This week's line-ups were not made available; check Vibe's web site for current day's listing only Tu 6/16 Jacqueline Obradors, Mana We 6/17 Fabio Th 6/18 TBA Fr 6/19 Andy Lauer THE DAILY SHOW, Comedy Central lineups not available DENNIS MILLER LIVE, HBO Fr 6/12 Gloria Estefan on "Taxes" Fr 6/19 TBA Fr 6/26 TBA Fr 7/3 on hiatus Fr 7/10 Sarah Jessica Parker on "Talk Radio" Fr 7/17 Tom Hanks, topic TBA SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network Fr 6/12 Emeril Lagasse, Martin Yan and Nathalie Dupree (R) Fr 6/19 David Byrne and Donny Osmond (R) Cindy Guyer (female Fabio), Jerky Boys and Dian Parkinson (R) HOWARD STERN, E! Tu 6/9 Veronica Webb Sight Part 1, Donna D'Errico Part 2 (R), Sara The Transsexual Returns(R) We 6/10 Veronica Webb Sight Part 2, Meet Nancy Martling (R), Marshmallow Mike Part 1 (R) Th 6/11 Dominic Barbara Loses Jeopardy, Fred & Actresses Part 1 (R), Marshmallow Mike Part 2 (R) Fr 6/12 Miss Nude Universe, Fred & Actresses Part 2 (R), Good Bye Uzo (R) Sa 6/13 Liz Snowden (R), Uzo Sex Survey (R) DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1 Di 9/6 Actress Veronica Ferres, politician Juergen Trittin Mi 10/6 Uwe Ochsenknecht, Tatiani Katrantzi Do 11/6 Playmate of the Year, Peter Kloeppel, Martina Gedeck Also on late nights: NIGHTLINE and WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC CHARLES GRODIN, CNBC MAD TV, Fox SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC (this season) and Comedy Central (classics) THE RUPAUL SHOW, VH1 LOVELINE, MTV UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS NIGHTSIDE, NBC (going away soon) Entire contents Copyright 1998 by Aaron Barnhart. All rights reserved. LATE SHOW NEWS is made possible with the generous assistance of ECHO, New York City's premiere online service. http://www.echonyc.com Send news for and comments about this newsletter to aaron@tvbarn.com