LATE SHOW NEWS #158 June 24, 1997 by Aaron Barnhart TV Guide is out with yet another point-of-purchase special, the "100 Greatest Episodes of All Time," selected by the editors of the magazine and programmers at Nick at Nite's TV Land channel, who plan a tie-in with 25 of the episodes next week. That epic "Mary Tyler Moore" broadcast, "Chuckles Bites the Dust," comes in first, followed by a Lucy episode, followed by the award-winning "ER" ep, "Love's Labor Lost," followed by a "Seinfeld" (not the "master of my domain" one) and the "Password" episode of "The Odd Couple." Of course, broadcasts of late-night television shows are omitted because -- well, ostensibly it's because they don't qualify as "series television," but let's face it, they have stars, they have regulars, they have guest stars, they have writers, and they're series. They got left off the list because TV Guide didn't want the competition any more fractious than it already was. Not that that's going to stop people like me from kicking their patooties for *that* lame decision. For instance, going down the list we find an "Andy Griffith Show" from 1963 entitled, "Opie the Birdman." Does anyone seriously doubt that the Sandra Bernhard-Madonna taping of "Late Night" in 1988, during the writers' strike, was more entertaining than any five "Andy Griffith" episodes pressed down, shaken together and running over? At number 35 is "The Puppy Episode," aka the coming-out episode of "Ellen," 30 minutes of outstanding comedy preceded by 30 minutes of the most pedantic, posturing crap to come out of the writers' rooms this season. Its inclusion in this list is a statement. Fair enough; but so long as we're into statements, how about the first-ever broadcast of "Late Show with David Letterman" at CBS, a cheery fuck-you to the executives at NBC who denied Letterman his rightful spot atop "The Tonight Show"? Don't get me wrong -- I could gripe about other omissions. There are dramas missing from this list too, like any episode of "Lou Grant" (I liked the one where Charlie's kid joins a cult), or that little thing called "Marty" they once did live in the 1950s. And how about all those prime-time variety shows? They don't count, either, for there are no Ed Sullivans, no "Show of Shows", no "Smothers Brothers Hours" on the list. And most outrageous of all, not one "Laugh-In." But back to the late shows. I could cobble together in no time a decent list of the 10 greatest late-night tapings of all time, couldn't you? I'd start with Jack Paar's unplanned departure from "The Tonight Show" and continue with Bobby Kennedy's appearance (when he announced he was going after Jimmy Hoffa, a broadcast that resulted in a lawsuit). Then I'd cover Tiny Tim's wedding, Ed Ames's ax toss and Bette Midler's sayanora on Carson; the "SCTV" episode featuring "Extreme Close-Up"; any number of Lettermans ... jeez ... the Chinese-delivery Olympics one, the shouting-at-Bryant-Gumbel one, the GE-handshake one, just about every writers' strike ep ... and on a more contemporary note, two Conan broadcasts spring to mind, the Letterman-Zappa broadcast of 2/28/94 and the debut of Pimpbot 2000. Send me your favorite late-night broadcasts, as many of 'em as you can remember. If I get 100 different ones, I'll publish the list here next week. *** Motley Crue will perform outdoors during tonight's "Late Show" taping, the first such event since Bon Jovi's 53rd Street appearance two summers ago ... John Agoglia, the NBC executive best known for saying No to David Letterman's bid to succeed Johnny Carson as "Tonight Show" host, is retiring after 32 years in the TV business, the last 18 with NBC ... Next week Jay Leno's repeats form a theme week of "out-of-control" guests, including Jim Carrey, Sinbad, Chris Farley, Dana Carvey, Billy Crystal and Robin Williams. Funny, neither hair nor hide of Bob Goldthwaite to be seen all week ... Speaking of out of control, where would LATE SHOW NEWS be without Norm McDonald? Performing standup routine at the University of Iowa this weekend, Norm managed to drive more than 1,000 of the 1,300 paying audience members out of the building with jokes like the one about women having sex with pigs. "What do you want me to talk about," Norm reportedly yelled to those leaving, "losing my luggage at the airport?" ... Sexpert Susie Bright had an hour-long telephone tryst with a Tom Snyder booker that must be read to be believed at ... Letterman was cited shaking hands with the winners of a Formula One race in Montreal the other week ... And Manny the Hippie is out of the clink and back in San Francisco! He'll be on Letterman's show Friday night, July 4 and according to the San Francisco Chronicle, he's already getting a lot of offers from his new agent. Diggity -- oh, forget it. *** Reader mail: Stoned, or merely zoned? Anne Raugh weighs in on l'affaire Farrah. "Based on my own 5 years working in an ER in Northern Virginia yuppie country, I'd have to conclude from this that radio icons don't get all that much exposure to junkies. Perhaps, on the whole, that's a good thing. If he gets this upset over someone who could well have achieved her apparent mental state by overdosing on liquid Tylenol, imagine how he'd react to someone having arguments with the tiny lizards he sees crawling out of his pants. Not that that wouldn't make good television..." Several readers corrected the press release that appeared on another e-mail list noting that Stephanie Miller has a radio show on ABC-owned KTZN, not KABC, and noting that she displaced a radio show hosted by ex-Letterman galpal Merrill Markoe ... And Don Giller, aka the amazing Donz5 from the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup and Late Show Online, writes, "Re Joel Brown's letter to you on Bono and that other guy: Rock stars who appeared on Late Night, last on the bill, for interview only: "Ozzy Osbourne 3/25/82 Peter Tork 7/7/82 Rick James 9/15/82 Sting 11/10/82 Captain Beefheart 11/11/82 Deborah Harry 2/1/83 Fee Waybill 7/14/83 Graham Nash 8/23/83 Linda Ronstadt 9/21/83 Frank Zappa 10/31/83 Ray Manzarek 1/25/84 Stewart Copeland 2/9/84 Tina Turner 5/31/84 Roger Daltrey 9/13/84 Robert Plant 5/22/85 Nina Hagen 7/31/85 Nils Lofgren 10/8/85 Pete Townshend 11/12/85 Ron Wood 11/27/87 "Other rock stars appeared earlier in the show for interview only; included were Ian Anderson, Boy George, David Lee Roth, Iggy Pop, Dee Snyder, Bill Wyman, Simon and Garfunkel, Annie Lennox/Dave Stewart, Phil Collins, Julian Lennon, and Ringo Starr." Tom Heald's THIS NIGHT IN HISTORY Tu 6/24: In 1956, "The Steve Allen Show" returns in primetime on NBC opposite "The Ed Sullivan Show." Allen continues as host of "The Tonight Show," but now takes Mondays and Tuesdays off. Allen will leave "The Tonight Show" permanently to concentrate on his prime time show in January 1957. We 6/25: In 1993, David Letterman tapes his last "Late Night With David Letterman" for NBC before moving to CBS two months later. The last song performed by Paul Shaffer and The World's Most Dangerous Band? "We Gotta Get Outta This Place" by The Animals. Th 6/26: In 1959, Mark Douglas Brown McKinney is born. McKinney was an apprentice writer for "Saturday Night Live" during the 1985-1986 season and one of Lorne Michaels' "Kids in the Hall." He returned to "Saturday Night Live" in January 1995. Fr 6/27: In 1984, "Late Night with David Letterman's" fourth "Tower Drop." Items getting hurled out of a five-story window this time include peanut butter and jelly containers, omelet fixings (eggs, peppers, and tomatoes), coconuts, Christmas decorations, two stacks of pancakes, a watermelon, and a gumball machine. Sa 6/28: In 1946, Gilda Radner is born. Radner hated Saturday nights. The story, in her own words, may be found at Su 6/29: In 1982, on "Late Night with David Letterman," Dr. Ruth Westheimer begins discussing "vays in vhich vomen could have zeir own orkhasms vizout ze help of a man." Westheimer then makes her famous cucumber remark, prompting Letterman to leave the set. Mo 6/30: In 1955, having honed his craft on a daytime series, Johnny Carson is ready for primetime, and "The Johnny Carson Show" debuts on CBS, but drops off the schedule less than a year later. [Thanks to Tim Brooks, Earl Marsh, Herb Gambill (whose "Joyce Loves Conan" site has moved to ) and Larry Dieckhaus. Special thanks to Donz5, who's still depressed over the cancellation of "Blossom."] Tommy, can you see me? Tommy, can you e-mail me at tomalhe@aol.com? THE LINEUPS (with Sue Trowbridge) LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS Tu 6/24 Nick Turturro, Daisy Fuentes, Motley Crue We 6/25 Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Peter Fonda, Rickie Lee Jones Th 6/26 Brian Williams, Gil Shaham Fr 6/27 Martin Lawrence, Robert Zemeckis, Sarah McLachlan Mo 6/30 Will Smith, Dyan Cannon, sword swallower Brad Byers Tu 7/1 Jason Priestley, Patricia Richardson, The Cicadas We 7/2 Barry Sonnenfeld, Blur Th 7/3 Tim Robbins, science teacher Lee Marek, Sarah Silverman THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC Tu 6/24 Rupert Everett, Lisa Leslie We 6/25 Drew Carey, En Vogue Th 6/26 Will Smith, Tom Jones Fr 6/27 John Travolta, Emily Young, Tom Dreesen Mo 6/30 Jim Carrey, Tom Jones (R 11/9/95) Tu 7/1 Chris Farley, Shannen Doherty, The Presidents of the United States of America (R 1/10/97) We 7/2 Dana Carvey, Amber Valletta, The Pendragons (R 11/22/96) Th 7/3 Robin Williams, Billy Crystal, Barry Manilow (R 5/6/97) Fr 7/4 Sinbad, Martha Stewart, Chicago (R 5/9/97) LATE LATE SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER, CBS Tu 6/24 Steven Stark We 6/25 Presidential speechwriter James Humes Th 6/26 Gina Gershon, former FBI agent Robert Ressler Fr 6/27 Queen Latifah, Charlie Steiner LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC Tu 6/24 George Plimpton, Dana Gould We 6/25 Julia Sweeney Th 6/26 Will Ferrell, Del Amitri Fr 6/27 Jonathan Taylor Thomas, James Brown Mo 6/30 Jean-Claude van Damme, Margaret Colin, Jonny Lang (R 4/04/97) Tu 7/1 Justine Bateman, David Bowie (R 4/10/97) We 7/2 Rob Schneider, Steven Weber, Radish (R 4/24/97) LATER, NBC Tu 6/24 Bernie Mac with Bill Bellamy (R 3/13/97) We 6/25 Hazelle Goodman with Deepak Chopra (R 3/24/97) Th 6/26 Hazelle Goodman with Laura Innes (R 3/25/97) CHARLIE ROSE, PBS Tu 6/24 "Our America" with Le Ann Jones, Lloyd Newman, David Isay; Oracle Computer CEO Lawrence Ellison We 6/25 Designer Bob Timberlake Th 6/26 Architect Moshe Safdie Fr 6/27 Summer Books Panel with Calvin Trillin, Sybil Steinberg Mo 6/30 Will Smith; Time Magazine special edition: "Backbone Of America" Tu 7/1 Jon Bon Jovi, Sen. John Kerrey, Novell Software CEO Eric Schmidt We 7/2 Angela Bassett POLITICALLY INCORRECT WITH BILL MAHER, ABC Tu 6/24 Tom Dreesen, Sheneska Jackson, Don Feder, Todd Rundgren We 6/25 Paul Harris, Dean Koontz, Fred Williamson, Sandra Bernhard Th 6/26 Hunter S. Thompson, Andy Dick, Edie McClurg Fr 6/27 Larry Flynt, Bobcat Goldthwait, Debbie Gibson, Douglas Rushkoff SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network Fr 6/27 Susan Olsen and Elvira (R) HOWARD STERN, E! Tu 6/24 Zack Streaks, Sugar Ray We 6/25 Mike Judge and Grillo's Script, Robert Wuhl Th 6/26 Stuttering John vs. Howard, Rob Zombie Fr 6/27 Nude Sunbather, Tom Arnold and Julie Return Sa 6/28 Scott Baio, George Takei Mo 6/30 Lisa's Operation, Pt. 1 (R), Grillo's Shaved Head, Pt. 1 Tu 7/1 Lisa's Operation, Pt. 2 (R), Grillo's Shaved Head, Pt. 2 HARALD SCHMIDT, SAT.1 24/6 Emmy Hagenmeyer, Anna Nicole Smith, Helmut Zierl 25/6 Tic Tac Toe, Pierre Franck 26/6 Juergen Moellemann, Tyra Banks 27/7 no show 1/7 Volker Lechtenbrink, Natja Brunckhorst 2/7 Joerg Draeger, Christian Ziege By the way, in case you're wondering how they do interviews with Anna Nicole Smith and Tyra Banks: interpreters. I recently saw an interview with Dennis Rodman and they did the best they could to avoid the awkward pauses. Just another reminder of what you can get away with when you have something the rest of the world wants, namely pop icons. Also on late nights: NIGHTLINE, ABC CHARLES GRODIN, CNBC CARSON'S COMEDY CLASSICS, Family Channel MAD TV, Fox SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC (first-run) and Comedy Central (re-run) THE RUPAUL SHOW, VH1 LOVELINE, MTV WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS Entire contents Copyright 1997 by Aaron Barnhart. All rights reserved. Distributed by e-mail and BBS to over 10,000 readers weekly. Late Show News is made possible with the generous assistance of ECHO, New York City's premiere online service. Send news for and comments about this newsletter to aaron@tvbarn.com