LATE SHOW NEWS #161 July 15, 1997 by Aaron Barnhart PASADENA, Calif. -- LATE SHOW NEWS is on hand at the semi-annual presentation by the networks to the t.v. critics. Sure enough, the biggest, or at least the weirdest, news on the late-night front this week comes not from the West Coast but from the East. Tuesday morning a billboard went up just across Times Square from one of the two billboards Jay Leno has had up for months, bragging about his dominance in the nightpart. "#1 in Late Night," says NBC's sign in giant red and yellow letters next to a sign-length standup shot of Jay. In response, Dave has forged a mirror image, same lettering, same colors, and there, next to a big picture of Dave wearing what one of my sources called *** WARNING: The following paragraph has been rated TV-PG with an L for language. Don't say I didn't warn you! *** his "shit-eating grin," are the words, "#3 in Late Night." The board was conceived by Letterman and his executive producer, Rob Burnett, and pitched to CBS, which signed off on the idea and bought the sign space at 50th and Broadway. According to CBS, the network had urged Letterman during his nearly two years atop the late-night ratings to take out billboards crowing over Jay. But each time Dave said no. So Tuesday's development can be seen, in this way, as a counter-proposal, his *** WARNING: The following paragraph has been rated TV-G with an R for rewrite, since I used a similar phrase three weeks ago and am *still* hearing about it from prudish readers. *** cheery bite-me that both acknowledges and belittles the late-night race with Jay, as well as the entire promotional process of which Dave has plainly grown weary during his four years at CBS. My conversations with CBS people on both coasts confirmed that this was not some tossed-off idea, but a much chewed-over and deliberate statement designed to work on several levels -- calling attention to the show, poking fun at the ever-mounting one-upsmanship between the networks (our New York City readers are familiar with this summer's bus-advertisement wars between "NBC Nightly News" and "ABC World News Tonight"), and trying to rekindle the magic of last Oscars night, when David Letterman ran his airplane, and the Oprah-Uma joke that bombed two years prior, into the ground in an "English Patient" spoof. I don't buy it. Context is all important, and so is the element of time. That "English Patient" bit lasted less than a minute, then was gone forever. It was done by Billy Crystal, with Dave's cooperation, in a venue with which Crystal was highly acquainted and in which he had been, as several-times Oscars host, highly successful. He knew how Letterman could be utilized in a way that benefitted not only himself and the Oscars audience, but Dave as well. None of that foresight could possibly have gone into placing a picture of Dave in the sweltering nexus of commerce and culture that is Times Square. I predict a short lifespan for that sign as the joke -- and a relatively weak joke at that -- is drummed into the heads of New York's media elite, day after dreary, unfunny day. Number one, number three. Number three, number one. Oprah, Uma. Beyond that, the billboard is yet another indication that Letterman has conceded the ratings race. Now he wants to reposition himself as the critics' choice, to win back those who lately had been casting a pox on both his and Leno's houses, and to produce shows that will attract those viewers who've strayed to Bill Maher or simply packed it in and gone to bed in recent months. If that is the case, then this billboard is a very good sign indeed. *** I received several Dohh!-grams from readers wishing they'd sent in their nominations before I released "The 80 Greatest Late Night Episodes of All Time" last week. Never fear -- keep sending 'em in and I'll keep tabbing your entries for at least another couple of weeks. Then I'll issue a revised version, which may go as high as the 100 greatest and will include a few corrections from version one point oh. It'll be Web- and mail- retrievable and I'll announce it here. *** Those of you who check out the CBS Top Ten List page on the Web every morning were surprised to find that the list on July 1, "Top Ten Reasons Why Bill Gates Is Thinking of Buying CBS," was missing, nor was it in the archive as of this writing. A strange case of self-censorship? No, said a Letterman spokesman, since Dave's people post the list and Dave's people could care less who they annoy or offend, a point driven home the very next night when Dave did a Top Ten that led to a protest from the San Francisco chapter of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. The list, done in classic oil-and-water format of the earliest Top Tens, was entitled "Firecrackers or Richard Simmons' Nicknames," and included such entries as Screaming Mimi, Flaming Bozo, Sweatin' Sissy, Puffy Lady, Sky Prancer and The Fruitron Bomb. GLAAD's Don Romesburg issued this statement in reply: "One of the things GLAAD has been accused of is not being able to take a joke. But of all the possible things to lampoon about Richard Simmons - and there are many - Letterman chose to single out gay identity, and to perpetuate stereotypes about gay identity. That's what GLAAD finds unacceptable and offensive. We will be asking people to write letters to CBS and let them know why stereotyping gay people has no place in this kind of comedy." *** Sunday's New York Times Magazine's profile of Jamie Tarses confirms last year's rumors that David Letterman had been talking to ABC in late 1995 about taking his late-night show there -- and connects it to the firing of Morty "Robert" Morton as Letterman's producer. According to the Times, Michael Ovitz, the man who negotiated the contract that took Dave to CBS, was freshly arrived at ABC and putting the squeeze on Dave, via Morty, to ditch the Eye Network. But "Letterman soon broke off contact with ABC and Ovitz and eventually fired Morton, telling friends that Morton, who had long wanted to head Letterman's production company, was not supporting Letterman's interests but his own," according to the Lynne Hirschberg's report ... The good news: "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher" was the No. 1 show in late night in six of the nation's top ten metered markets the week of June 30, and beat "Late Show" in 17 markets. On average, the show is being watched by 3 million viewers per night. And now the bad news: those 3 million are about it. According to the Nielsen overnights, the first night of "Politically Incorrect" in prime time last week scored a pitiful 5.1 rating and 9 share for the live first half hour (10-10:30 p.m.) and 4.6/8 for the second half hour, a repeat. That was off 28% from the fresh "Turning Point" ABC had aired in that time period the week before. But an ABC rep told Matt Drudge the following day, "The demos came in fine, and I think the audience will grow as the summer continues" ... From the no-small-irony front: Time Warner's Reprise Records -- best known, to yours truly at least, as the label home of Neil Young, announced it will begin packaging musical performance tapes on "Late Show with David Letterman" as compilation CDs, the first of which is due out in October. As longtime readers of LATE SHOW NEWS are aware, music has been of diminishing importance to late-night talk shows ever since Dave and Jay started going head to head. Producers would watch in horror as Nielsen ratings dived throughout musical segments, resulting in fewer acts being booked and their appearances coming later and later in the program. Presumably this had happened in Johnny's time, but had been forgiven as viewers simply turning in for the night, not tuning over to the competition. (There's also the case to be made that Carson, and later Arsenio, brought on musical acts fashioned to his audience's tastes, which were, respectively, old fashioned and urban contemporary.) It begs the question: Is the day far off when music on the late shows becomes much like that heard in the movies -- a few establishing bars that then fade into a segue, to be retrieved in their original form only on the soundtrack? ... Season premiere of "Space Ghost Coast to Coast" is Friday, followed by a whole mess of new eps to come on succeeding Fridays. This week's includes the first script written by our old pal and former "Space Ghost" p.r. guy Chip "Charles" Duffey. Next week's ep is entitled "Gallagher" and I have no idea why. Tom Heald's THIS NIGHT IN HISTORY Tu 7/15: In 1965, Joan Rivers weds Edgar Rosenberg and gains at least a half hour in her act. We 7/16: In 1990, "Into The Night with Rick Dees" premieres following "ABC News Nightline." Naturally, the hardest part of planning this dud was finding someone "whiter" than Alan Thicke. Th 7/17: In 1917, frequent "Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson" panelist Phyllis Diller is born. (Insert generic ugly joke here. Diller would.) Fr 7/18: In 1966, a momentous monologue moment -- Carl Sagan turns one *billion* seconds old. Sa 7/19: In 1995, Dorothy McHugh dies at age 87. An ex-Ziegfield Follies burlesque dancer, McHugh gained notoriety in the monologues of Carson, Letterman, and Leno, as "Mrs. Fletcher" the "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up" woman. Su 7/20: In 1989, on "Late Night with David Letterman," Mandy Patinkin performs the first of many versions of "Over the Rainbow," including a rare intro that Paul Shaffer doesn't even know and has to fake. Subsequent shows will highlight samples from this performance, including a pencil drop. A month later (8/18), Patinkin reappears and sings the full version once again; Shaffer now knows the intro. Mo 7/21: In 1989, Lorne Michaels unleashes a comedy troupe of not-even-ready-for-network- television-players as "The Kids In The Hall" debut on HBO. [Thanks to Tim Brooks, Earl Marsh, & David Tanny. Special thanks to Donz5. When all the world is a hopeless jumble and the raindrops tumble all around, Donz5 opens a magic lane.] When all the clouds darken up the skyway, there's a rainbow highway to be found, leading from your window pane. To a place behind the sun, just a step beyond the rain. Write Tom Heald at THE LINEUPS (with Sue Trowbridge) Have you been to Sue's site at lately? Lots of great stuff there, not least of which is The Circular File, her acclaimed zine dedicated to the litter things in life. LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS Tu 7/15 Tim Robbins, Shawn Colvin, Jackie Chan We 7/16 Mary Tyler Moore, National Hollerin' champion Robey Morgan, Matchbox 20 Th 7/17 Nathan Lane, Gabrielle Reece, Third Eye Blind Fr 7/18 Robert Pastorelli, Craig Kilborn, Live Mo 7/21 Leslie Mann, Puff Daddy Tu 7/22 Richard Kind, John Hiatt We 7/23 John Turturro, Kathy Kinney, Radish THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC Tu 7/15 Coolio We 7/16 Martin Lawrence Th 7/17 Rob Lowe, Jane Pauley, Beck Fr 7/18 Glenn Close, Billy Connolly, Motley Crue Mo 7/21 Harrison Ford, Pam Tillis Tu 7/22 TBA We 7/23 Patrick Stewart LATE LATE SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER, CBS Tu 7/15 Rosemary Clooney, Dr. Ira Block We 7/16 Marking the anniversary of the loss of TWA Flight #800 Th 7/17 TBA Fr 7/18 Gary Busey, Coolio (Jon Stewart will be the guest host for the week of July 21-25.) Mo 7/21 Andy Richter (*** PICK TO CLICK!! ***) Tu 7/22 Bill Maher, Doug E. Doug We 7/23 Lea Thompson, Michael Hutchence Th 7/24 Al Franken Fr 7/25 Keenen Ivory Wayans, Tom Shales LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC Tu 7/15 Illeana Douglas, Leonard Garment We 7/16 Primus Th 7/17 World Party LATER, NBC Tu 7/15 David Alan Grier with Robin Leach (R 5/8/97) We 7/16 David Alan Grier with Mark Hamill (R 2/20/97) Th 7/17 David Alan Grier with Harry Shearer (R 2/18/97) CHARLIE ROSE, PBS Tu 7/15 On-Line Magazines with Rufus Griscom (Nerve), Michael Kinsley (Slate), David Talbott (Salon); Dr. Kari Stefansson, CEO/founder Decode Genetics We 7/16 Ann Druyan, Lowell Paxson Th 7/17 Author Enrique Krauze; 1968 discussion with Jules Witcover, David Halberstam, David Broder Fr 7/18 TBA Mo 7/21 Harrison Ford, Richard Ford Tu 7/22 Beverly Sills, Lawrence Eagleburger, Henry Kissinger We 7/23 Puffy Coombs Th 7/24 Naomi Wolf, Samuel L. Jackson POLITICALLY INCORRECT WITH BILL MAHER, ABC Tu 7/15 Shaun Cassidy, Mona Charen, radio talker Michael Jackson, Tommy Smothers We 7/16 Arthur Kent, Barbara Conry, Chuck Booms Th 7/17 TBA Fr 7/18 Cindy Crawford, Herb Ritts, Elayne Boosler HOWARD STERN, E! Tu 7/15 Grandma Ann's Interviews, Joan Rivers Returns, Pt. 1 We 7/16 Sammy Hagar, Pt. 1, Joan Rivers Returns, Pt. 2 Th 7/17 Sammy Hagar, Pt. 2, Comedy Stylings of Smelly James Fr 7/18 Brittney Porn Actress, Richard Belzer Sa 7/19 Lisa Kudrow, The Bacon Brothers SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC Sa 7/19 John Goodman, Jewel (R) SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network Fr 7/18 Season Opener: Fred Schneider *** premiere *** Fr 7/25 Bob Odenkirk, David Cross *** premiere *** Also on late nights: NIGHTLINE, ABC CHARLES GRODIN, CNBC CARSON'S COMEDY CLASSICS, Family Channel MAD TV, Fox SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC (this season) and Comedy Central (classics) THE RUPAUL SHOW, VH1 LOVELINE, MTV ODDVILLE MTV, MTV WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS Entire contents Copyright 1997 by Aaron Barnhart. All rights reserved. Distributed by e-mail and BBS to over 10,000 readers weekly. Late Show News is made possible with the generous assistance of ECHO, New York City's premiere online service. 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