LATE SHOW NEWS #164 August 5, 1997 by Aaron Barnhart NOTE: This issue is rated L for language and S for spoilers. Don't blame this week on me! ... The American University listserver, for the first time I can recall in two and a half years that LATE SHOW NEWS has been distributed on it, fell and skinned its knee. When it got all better again, the queue -- apparently -- was flushed. So, try again ... So you thought that after David Letterman left NBC, you'd seen all the conceptual pieces that were worth seeing in late-night television? Well, I doubt you've seen anything the likes of Conan O'Brien's monthlong crusade to get the 1987 movie "Dirty Dancing" into re-release on the occasion of its 10th anniversary. O'Brien was rediscovering 1970s and '80s camp long before most of us -- his first submission to the "Harvard Lampoon" as a college freshman was a parody of "One Day at a Time" -- so his full frontal embrace of the Patrick Swayze vehicle did not come as a complete surprise. But his unrelenting push to have the studio bring back one of the defining pop-culture flicks of the 1980s? Bizarre at best. O'Brien even threatened to fire one of the band members, Richie "La Bamba" Rosenberg, and went so far as to trot out Mrs. La Bamba and moustachioed little Bambas so that everybody knew he wasn't kidding. But Conan *was* kidding -- or was he? Reader Daniel Liss speaks for thousands, no doubt, when he writes, "When I first saw a segment on that, I smiled; since then it has turned into a running gag that's more clever than 'Something from the meat case, Linda?' I never, though, thought that anyone actually wanted it to happen. ... I never thought I'd see a major Hollywood studio fold to Conan O'Brien." Yep, the studio that now owns "Dirty Dancing" announced last week that it will actually be bringing the movie back to theaters on Aug. 22. The studio reportedly received 80,000 letters begging it to bring back the film. How many of those came from "Late Night" fans, we'll never know. (A source tells LATE SHOW NEWS that the movie had already been scheduled for re-release by the time O'Brien and his writers concocted their stunt.) Nor, in hindsight, does it much matter, since last Thursday, in a fiendish turnaround, O'Brien announced on his show that he had gone out and rented the movie. "And you know what?" O'Brien said. "It's not that good. In fact, it's kind of idiotic. It's corny, manipulative and -- well, look at this scene!" and he proceeded to air the exact same clip he'd shown on previous segments in support of "Dirty Dancing"'s comeback. He said it was "possibly the worst movie ever made" and that he had clearly gotten it confused with either "Flashdance" or "Footloose." "Maybe it's none of my business, but maybe you should've gotten this all straightened out before you launched a national campaign," Andy Richter finally said in a brilliant admission of complicity. "But I just figured, what the hell, it's your show." Now it appears Conan's going to try to top himself this week. On Monday he taped a program, scheduled to air on Friday, in which the studio audience is made up entirely of six- to eight-year-olds. Guests include Dave Foley, who despite being a former "Kid in the Hall" is virtually unknown among kids; CNN's Myron Kandel, who is virtually unknown among adults *and* kids; and reptile expert Clyde Peeling, who is unknown to kids but at least has the good sense to show up with lots of creepy crawly things in tow. A "boredom monster" is periodically shown to the kiddies whenever their enthusiasm flags, and Rob Smigel's "Clutch Cargo," which includes the faces of Vice President Gore *and* Scooby-Doo, is a huge hit. ("He was doing farting noises -- the kids loved that," says our source.) At the end of the show the kids lined up for ice cream and Conan shot Silly String at them. "If you tuned in at the end," our source adds, "you might think you were watching 'Wonderama.'" *** Speaking of conceptual pieces, in response to my story last week on the 10th anniversary of the Crispin Glover incident, an intrepid reader sent me the transcript of a 1992 broadcast of NPR's "All Things Considered" in which movie director Trent Harris explains how his new feature film, "Ruben and Ed," came to be: "(Glover) said, 'Come on over to my place. I've got something I want to show you.' So I go over to his -- the place he lives in Hollywood. It's a big tower with an elevator in it, so I -- I pushed the elevator button, and I'm waiting in the lobby and the doors open up, and this creature steps out of the elevator in striped bellbottoms, platform shoes, strange hair, double-knit tight polyester shirt, thick glasses, and then he started to giggle, and I realized that it was Crispin and--and he said, 'Wouldn't it be funny to do a film about this character. Wouldn't -- wouldn't he be a great character to write a movie about?' And I said, 'No.' I mean, it's a frightening image to see Ruben Farr for the first time. But then this -- he was invited to go on the David Letterman show, and he said, 'Wouldn't be interested if I went on as Ruben Farr?' And I said, 'No.'" But Glover went ahead and appeared on "Late Night" as Ruben Farr, the character he'd later play in Harris's film. And what was Harris's first reaction to seeing Glover on with Dave? "I literally had to get in the closet. I started to watch the thing, and then I found myself standing up on the couch going, 'No, no, no,' and then I got in the closet and closed the door, hoping that somehow it would stop" ... So how 'bout that prime-time "Politically Incorrect" with Marilyn Manson and Florence Henderson? Which is to say, *where'd it go*? As you may recall, four "PI" episodes were to air live on Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern during July. Each would be followed by an encore of a previous broadcast at 10:30 and a second, different repeat in "PI"'s normal late-night spot. That arrangement lasted for just two weeks before ABC jerked "PI" back one hour, to begin at 9 p.m. Eastern. The decision was made late, effectively giving the network and affiliates three days to get the word out. Well, of course, as bad as ratings for the 10 p.m. broadcasts were, the invisible 9 p.m. airing fared worse, and left many fans of the show who tuned in an hour late befuddled. Which is a very long way of saying ABC pulled the fourth and final prime-time broadcast and used low ratings, the *self-inflicted* low ratings, as their lame excuse. As for the scheduled episode with Manson, Henderson, Liddy and Garth -- sounds like a law firm from hell -- it will air in late night a week from Wednesday ... I know several of you are curious about Julia Roberts' smooch with David Letterman last week, but longtime Roberts-watchers will know she has had a "thing" for Dave going back to her very first appearance with him back on NBC. After that taping, as Roberts herself confessed, she phoned backstage and meekly inquired if Dave would go out with her. The message never got through -- but now it has ... Dave's longtime monologue editor, Bill Scheft, will be leaving "Late Show," reportedly to work on a book. Another longtime contributor, Larry Jacobson, is already gone -- and working for Leno on monologues and comedy bits ... Okay, here's the last word on returning "SNL" cast members: Mark McKinney isn't one of them, but Tim Meadows is. Meadows was on his honeymoon during the press tour, but he'll be there when "SNL" begins its 48th consecutive year on t.v. this fall ... I did a writeup on "Vibe" on Monday that you can retrieve at ... And two trivial but noteworthy items sighted in L.A. (1) While browsing Sunset Blvd.'s smartest store, Book Soup, I discovered a letter I once wrote to Roger Ebert reprinted on page 6 of Ebert's new compilation, "Questions for the Movie Answer Man." (2) While visiting the original "Cheers" set, which has been rebuilt at the new Hollywood Entertainment Museum, I found a most curious red paper napkin enclosed in a frame and hanging from the wall, over by the entrance to Sam's office. The napkin reads: "To my best friend Joe Waters, fine athlete and heck of a guy who serves the finest food in Philadelphia at a reasonable price. Ask about our specials. -- Ted Koppel." *** Reader mail: Stuart Goldman writes, "I was wondering how many 'nobodies' have become famous because of Dave? This came to mind after seeing the ads for that Disney movie about the basketball-playing dog. Is that the same dog that was on 'Stupid Pet Tricks' a while ago? And that lady who bugs her eyes out -- she was just on Sally Jessy Raphael recently (saw her as the 'clip of the week' on 'Talk Soup.'). Apparently she does commercials now. Then, of course, there's Calvert DeForest. Who else as done on to last more than the 15 minutes of fame? (I don't think Mujibur and Sirajul count quite yet)" ... Harrison Wyman writes, "I just saw the 'affiliate suggestion' bit on 'Late Night' and actual call letters were used for NBC stations in Birmingham, Alabama, Boise, Idaho and some city in Alaska. Do these stations carry 'Late Night' at all? I know the Birmingham station had to be proud of being in the same sketch as the masturbating bear." Portions copyright 1992 National Public Radio. THE LINEUPS (with Sue Trowbridge) LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS Tu 8/5 Ray Liotta, Natalie Deselle, David Brenner We 8/6 Jay Thomas, Anabella Sciorra, Tonic Th 8/7 Sylvester Stallone, Tommy Lasorda, Bev Tanner Fr 8/8 Demi Moore, Jay Mohr, Aerosmith THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC Tu 8/5 Mira Sorvino, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, watermelon eating champ Chris Meyer We 8/6 Shaquille O'Neal, Emil Popescu and performing sea lions, Jake Johannsen Th 8/7 Mel Gibson, Cal Ripken Jr., Fiona Apple Fr 8/8 Jennifer Aniston, Earvin 'Magic' Johnson, Carlos Mencia Mo 8/11 Charlie Sheen, John Fogerty, George Olesen and Michelle Sorensen (world's strongest couple) Tu 8/12 Lisa Kudrow, Natalie Cole We 8/13 Laurence Fishburne, Julie Scardina and Sea World animals LATE LATE SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER, CBS Tu 8/5 Marvin Hamlisch We 8/6 TBA Th 8/7 Former New York City subway cop John Diresta Fr 8/8 Queen Latifah, Lorenzo Carcaterra Mo 8/11 Roger Ebert LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC Tu 8/5 John Leguizamo, Mary Black We 8/6 Garth Brooks, Brian Williams Th 8/7 Dave Foley, Buckshot Lefonque Fr 8/8 Clyde Peeling, Libor Karas Mo 8/11 Dana Carvey, Garry Marshall (R 10/31/96) LATER, NBC Tu 8/5 Duane Martin with Reggie Theus We 8/6 Duane Martin with Wes Craven Th 8/7 Duane Martin with the Captain & Tennille CHARLIE ROSE, PBS Tu 8/5 MCI's Vint Cerf We 8/6 TBA Th 8/7 Itzhak Perlman, John Williams; Cop Land Panel Fr 8/8 TBA Mo 8/11 Loretta Lynn Tu 8/12 Paul Monette Documentary Panel We 8/13 TBA Th 8/14 Anthology Of Indian Literature (tentative); Vera Wang POLITICALLY INCORRECT WITH BILL MAHER, ABC Tu 8/5 Bill Press, Jane Chastain We 8/6 Bill Bellamy, Marianne Fogelson, Jackie Collins Th 8/7 Greta Van Susteren, Dean Koontz, Rod Steiger, John Henson Fr 8/8 William H. Macy, Rita Rudner, Jack Valenti SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network Fr 8/8 Judy Tenuta and Bobcat Goldthwait Fr 8/15 Robin Leach and Merrill Markoe (who we hear is smashing as usual) DENNIS MILLER LIVE, HBO Fr 8/8 Samuel L. Jackson Also on late nights: NIGHTLINE, ABC CHARLES GRODIN, CNBC CARSON'S COMEDY CLASSICS, Family Channel MAD TV, Fox SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC (this season) and Comedy Central (classics) THE RUPAUL SHOW, VH1 LOVELINE, MTV ODDVILLE MTV, MTV WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS NIGHTSIDE, NBC DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1 (returns August 28) VIBE, Syndicated KEENEN IVORY WAYANS, Syndicated ====================================================== AARON BARNHART IN THE KANSAS CITY STAR (a Knight-Ridder newspaper) How to find my articles in the Star archive: (1) Go to http://www.kcstar.com/library/library.htm>. (2) Under the "Additional search criteria" heading, type Aaron Barnhart in the "AUTHOR" entry blank. (3) Click the Search button. Entire contents Copyright 1997 by Aaron Barnhart. All rights reserved. Distributed by e-mail and BBS to over 10,000 readers weekly. Late Show News is made possible with the generous assistance of ECHO, New York City's premiere online service. Send news for and comments about this newsletter to aaron@tvbarn.com