LATE SHOW NEWS #216 August 25, 1998 by Aaron Barnhart To join or leave the LATE-SHOW-NEWS mailing list, see instructions at end of message. A N N O U N C E M E N T + A D V E R T I S E M E N T BARNHART'S UNAUTHORIZED TV '98 has shipped to the printer and in a few days preview pages will be available in Acrobat format on the LSN Web site for those of you who've been holding out on purchasing a copy. Like it or not, television may be our culture's most powerful influence and you'll learn a lot about it reading B.U.T.V., even if you're not a heavy TV watcher. BARNHART'S UNAUTHORIZED TV '98 tells you about all the shows on the fall prime-time schedule, new and returning, plus selected cable and syndicated and, of course, late night. You'll learn about the V-chip, Pax TV and why that cable network you've always wanted isn't going to be added to your channel lineup anytime soon. You'll see for yourself, night after night, how the TV networks' own financial interests are determining what shows make it on their prime-time schedules. You'll be in the know on the five most obscure trends in this fall's new programs. And if you've ever wondered about the disparity between what African Americans watch and what everyone else watches, my research came to some conclusions you'll find surprising and illuminating. (I'm starting to sound like an ad for Kiplinger's Washington Newsletter.) Above all, you'll get introduced to some new shows, or maybe to an established show you've overlooked, through capsules I think you'll find entertaining as well as informative. In fact, I've coined a little term to describe that hybrid: "entertainformativement." B.U.T.V. '98 is $9.95 and that includes shipping by first-class mail (add $5 if outside the U.S., Canada or Mexico). Order now and you'll have it well in time for the fall season. Don't worry, I'll give you your money back if you don't like it. It's also a good way to support LATE SHOW NEWS, if you feel so inclined. You can order through Kagi, a secure payment processing service that accepts Mastercard, Visa, American Express, Discover and Diners Card. Here's the URL to place your order: http://order.kagi.com/?Q6B&S For non-credit card or non-Web orders (slower processing), or to preview some pages from B.U.T.V. '98 in Acrobat format (available soon), go to this URL: http://www.tvbarn.com/lsn-archive/almanac.html If you don't have Web access at all, send me e-mail and I'll give you a postal address to mail a check or money order. Just be warned: I can't process your payment nearly as fast as Kagi can. *** I caught the first half-hour of "The Howard Stern Radio Show" on our local UPN affiliate Saturday night and was, like the rest of you, duly underwhelmed. Harrison Wyman was more than that -- he was p.o.'ed and let me know about it in a missive I now share with you: *** When Howard Stern announced his return to TV on CBS's 14 owned stations and syndication, I was hoping for an amped-up version of his WWOR-TV show of a few years back, only with a budget and some disciplined performing skills coming off the film "Private Parts." Instead I got a national version of his E! cable show. If this is the highest rated show on E!, then E! must be a piece of trash. Now let's see...what was so damn funny? The interview with the alleged hermaphrodite where Robin Quivers follows her into the ladies room? This is a step back from what Archie Bunker said about hermaphrodites: "They're too much of both and not enough of either!" And that was what, 1971? Was it the topless women lap-dancing on Howard's lap? By the way, edited nude women will send me to Showtime for "Red Shoe Diaries" where I can watch unedited nude women. Was it Stuttering John's interview with O.J. Simpson playing golf? If Simpson had any wit about him he would have asked Stuttering John to caddy for him, saying, "I'm broke, but I think I can pay you more than Howard." Was it Howard's offer to pay for a woman's cosmetic surgery if they were approved by his hand-chosen panel of four, including a limo driver who hates women? This was a fine hour of TB, I mean TV, if you like half-assed freak shows shot on security cameras in a dank room with no production values. Normally when Stern has a major project coming up, he promotes it by at least going on Letterman. Now I understand why there has been the promotional equal of radio silence. He has been shooting off his mouth about how he could do a better late night show than Leno, Letterman and certainly "SNL" for a better part of a decade and this is his debut?? Stern went on "The Magic Hour" and effectively sank it for this?? This show is a bomb and if it doesn't get real better real soon it may not make it to Halloween let alone Christmas. Read the issue of Vanity Fair with Chris Rock on the cover and you will find the story of a performer who underwent a "quality upgrade" and hustles to improve as a comedian. Howard Stern seems to have succumbed to his own hype and thinks even his die-hard fans will watch a poor show. Guess again, Pepe. Outside of the CBS station group, Stern is in syndication which means hit big, hit fast, or find yourself on next to infomercials at 3 am, or dropped. To hit on national TV Stern has to expand beyond his large, loyal radio fan base, especially since his TV show runs in cities where the radio show isn't on. There is a mean, dark center to Stern's humor that repels people. When Chris Rock went into Brooklyn's white ethnic Bensonhurst circulating a petition to change the name of a major street to Tupac Shakur Avenue in a remote sketch on his very first show, even the middle-aged white man who cursed him out at first said, "You got a lotta balls, kid." But he was laughing when he said it. That is the difference between talent and hype, between courage and bullying. Rock, who had his season premiere on HBO this weekend, came out of the blocks with a fast-paced, funny show. I don't know on what day it's taped but they clearly have time to do good post-production and still have material that is fairly current. Starting with the "Chris Mullin Show" promos, which sent up the departed "Magic Hour," to a monologue that was sharp and biting, Rock had me laughing for most of the show. One of the only criticisms I had is about his interview with attorney Johnnie Cochran. It's interesting to see Cochran try to get a word in edgewise for a change, but the point of an interview is for two people to talk. That was followed by a hilarious "Nightline"-type interview/sketch with a black female worker from the White House mailroom accusing Bill Clinton of being a racist for not sexually harassing *her*, DNA-free blue dress and all. The other criticism is of musical guest Tricky: not musically but that there is a musical guest at all. I'm biased towards more comedy and even on commercial-free HBO fitting music into a half-hour show is a tight fit. The show ended with promos for "Much Later," "Damn Near Tomorrow with Art Shell" and "The Party Machine with Seattle Slew," all featuring "Special Guest: Usher." *** Thanks, Harrison. For an opposing viewpoint on Howard, see the reader mail. By the way, those of you who e-mailed me in the past two weeks still dying to see the Stern-Magic Johnson love-in one last time had better check the "Magic Hour" lineups below ... Last week, in a conference call with TV critics that was simulcast on his radio show, Stern claimed that CBS top programmer Les Moonves didn't "believe" in Stern's show but that Moonves' boss, CBS head honcho (and longtime boss of Stern) Mel Karmazin, "tells him to believe in me" ... He also told my pal Ellen Gray to buy some Vagisil for daring to suggest that every Howard Stern enterprise these days is simply an extension of the radio show and actually breaks little new creative ground. He hates it when she's right ... And ABC News president David Westin addressed the troops last week and announced that "World News Now" will in fact be staying on the schedule. All right, Barry Mitchell -- strike up the band! *** Reader mail: Rusty Hoffman writes, "We don't get Howard Stern on the radio in the part of Iowa I live. E! is it and then I watch only occasionally. But I must say his debut show had me writhing in discomfort and howling in laughter. Finally, a show exists where there are no sacred cows. I was so dissappointed when it ended and will return to watch the circus line up at Howard's door to be exposed as only he can do it. Howard has become the P.T. Barnum of our age. What genius and cojones this man displays. All who watched in my home said they'd pay $20. to see between the legs of the World's Largest Female Bodybuilder. What a marketing coup for pay per view events. Forget the pabulum and boredom on 'SNL.' They lost me long ago. Kudos to CBS for breaking the waves and hitting one out of the ballpark. The only thing better would be to see it on HBO or Showtime where all can be shown" ... Doug Simpson, no relation to O.J., writes, "Well, after all of the hype, and all of his bragging, I decided to watch the debut of Howard Stern's new TV show. And my question is: what the heck? This thing is going to replace 'SNL'? I enjoy Howard's radio show, and I 'get' Howard. But the debut was BORING! I was tuned out within ten minutes. The only part that was briefly humourous was the O.J. Simpson interview, and that isn't exactly edgy comedy guaranteed to slay the competition. If this is all Howard is capable of creating for a weekly late-night TV show, then I give him a month before the show is unplugged." And we've located the one man in North America who will tune into Comedy Central next January with a heavy heart. "Your reference to 'The Daily Show' as 'a program whose growth has been stunted by the inability of its host to riff, improvise, ad-lib, or do much of anything you can't mock up on a TelePrompTer' is such hooey, Aaron!" Ryan Vincent writes. "First of all, I remember learning about the show from you. You seemed to like it back then. And now you claim that its growth has been stunted. Well, if it grew from then to now it was with Craig Kilborn at the helm. He deserves tons of credit. Second, he spends one segment of every show improvising. It's called the interview segment. He's quick, witty, funny, and he gets away with comedic murder with his more slow-witted guests. Finally, of course it seems like he's reading from a teleprompter. It's a lampoon of a news show! There's lots of text to read. That's his job. And he's good at it. The changeover from Kilborn to Stewart will be much the same as when 'MST3K' went from Joel to Mike. Oh, I'll watch. But it will never be the same." *** Tom Heald's THIS NIGHT IN HISTORY We 8/26: In 1960 Branford Marsalis is born. It takes Marsalis a record of three years (1992-1995) to become sick of his "Tonight Show" boss, Jay Leno. Th 8/27: In 1993, ABC names Boyd Matson, a 14-year veteran of rival NBC News, as co-anchor (with Thalia Assuras) of "World News Now" and "World News This Morning." Fr 8/28: In 1952, "The Steve Allen Show" last airs on CBS. Seems like the 69th time we've run this item, doesn't it? But they're all different "Steve Allen Shows." Sa 8/29: In 1969, to compete with "The Tonight Show staring Johnny Carson" and ABC's "Joey Bishop Show," CBS unleashes Merv Griffin upon late night. Merv's still alive, right? Su 8/30: In 1992, In a final tribute to the now retired Carson, "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson" receives its final Emmy (under that name), for Outstanding Variety Program. Mo 8/31: In 1991, "Camp Candy" and "Gravedale High with Rick Moranis" end their yearlong semi-SCTV reunion Saturday mornings on NBC. Tu 9/1: In 1992, the autopbiography "It's Pat! My Life Exposed" written by Julia Sweeney, Christine Zander & Norman Ng hits bookstores. While it fails to answer any real questions readers might have about "Saturday Night Live's" androgynous "Pat," it does raise another more intersting question: How could it possibly take three people to tell this one joke? [Thanks to David Tanny. Special thanks to Donz5, star of the new Fox sitcom "That Cleverly Named Show With Donz5, Set in the 70's."] Visit Tom Heald's "This Night In History" Bookstore at http://members.aol.com/thisnite/tstore.html -- you know you want to. THE LINEUPS with Sue Trowbridge (http://www.interbridge.com/) LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS Mo 8/24 Stupid Human Tricks, Dana Carvey, Steven Wright (R 11/1/96) Tu 8/25 Salman Rushdie, Meg Ryan, Annie Lennox (R 5/19/95) We 8/26 Stupid Pet Tricks, Anthony Edwards, Natalie Cole (R 11/15/96) Th 8/27 Robin Williams, Tom Hanks, Steve Young (R 5/6/96) Fr 8/28 Kid inventors, Will Smith, Jimmy Buffett (R 11/22/96) Mo 8/31 Jean Claude Van Damme, Darryl Strawberry, Joe Cocker Tu 9/1 Beau Bridges, Terrell Davis, Squirrel Nut Zippers THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC Mo 8/24 Dolly Parton, Chayanne Tu 8/25 Salma Hayek, animal expert Peter Gros We 8/26 Angela Bassett, John DiResta (UPN's "DiResta") Th 8/27 Halle Berry, Rob Schneider, Mary Cutrufello Fr 8/28 Brandy Mo 8/31 Mel Gibson, Cameron Diaz, Smashmouth (R 7/9/98) Tu 9/1 Chris Rock, Lena Olin (R 7/7/98) We 9/2 Jessica Lange, Rod Stewart (R 6/4/98) Th 9/3 Jerry Seinfeld, John F. Kennedy Jr., Brandy (R 5/14/98) Fr 9/4 Jennifer Lopez, Jet Li, Matchbox 20 (R 7/16/98) Mo 9/7 Gillian Anderson, Hank Azaria, Rosalynn Carter (R 6/10/98) LATE LATE SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER, CBS Mo 8/25 Conan O'Brien, Denis Leary (R 4/22/98) Tu 8/25 Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, Barbara Walters, Chef Michael Lomanaco (R 4/21/98) We 8/26 Alan Alda, Gloria Steinem (R 4/27/98) Th 8/27 Peter Jennings, Frank McCourt (R 4/23/98) Fr 8/28 Subway musicians, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brian Stokes Mitchell (R 4/24/98) Mo 8/31 Peter Fonda, Charles Jaco (R 3/25/98) Tu 9/1 Amy Pietz, Isabel Allende (R 4/8/98) We 9/2 Michael Crawford, Daniel Petrocelli (R 5/5/98) Th 9/3 Merv Griffin, author Greg Jaynes (R 1/14/98) Fr 9/4 Bob Costas, David Halberstam (R 4/7/98) LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC Mo 8/24 Barbara Walters, Maria Pitillo, Betty Faber (R 5/15/98) Tu 8/25 Hank Azaria, Bill Bellamy, Sprung Monkey We 8/26 Amy Brenneman, Mike Lupica Th 8/27 Salma Hayek, Richard Branson, The Dixie Chicks Fr 8/28 TBA Mo 8/31 Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, David Frost, Jeff Garlin (R 3/11/98) Tu 9/1 Al Franken, Veronica Webb, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (R 4/3/98) We 9/2 Gena Lee Nolin, Scott Thompson, Link Wray (R 5/19/98) Th 9/3 Matthew Broderick, Helen Martin, Emeril Lagasse (R 5/21/98) Fr 9/4 Sarah Jessica Parker, Darrell Hammond (R 6/11/98) Mo 9/7 Dave Chappelle, Laura Linney, Pulp (R 6/12/98) Tu 9/8 Hank Azaria, Patrick Macnee, Shane MacGowan and the Popes (R 6/16/98) We 9/9 Sarah Michelle Gellar, Caroline Rhea, Brian Regan (R 6/23/98) LATER, NBC Mo 8/24 Suli McCullough with Keenen Ivory Wayans (R 4/11/97) Tu 8/25 Duane Martin with Chris Spencer (R 12/19/97) We 8/26 Greg Kinnear with Sinbad (R 1/19/95) Th 8/27 Greg Kinnear with Dennis Miller (R 4/26/96) Mo 8/31 Greg Kinnear with Montel Williams (R 3/25/94) Tu 9/1 Greg Kinnear with Howie Mandel (R 7/13/95) We 9/2 Greg Kinnear with Rosie O'Donnell (R 10/7/94) Th 9/3 Greg Kinnear with Jerry Springer (R 2/14/95) THE MAGIC HOUR, syndicated Mo 8/24 Maria Conchita Alonso, Bridget Reilly, Lester Barrie, Jon B (R 7/27/98) Tu 8/25 Chuck Woolery, Kristoff St. John, Roma Maffia, N'Dea Davenport (R 7/28/98) We 8/26 Duane Martin, Jackie Joyner-Kersee, Shannon Sturges (R 7/29/98) Th 8/27 Will Smith, Dennis Franz, Tatyana Ali, The Sugarhill Gang (R 7/30/98) Fr 8/28 Mary J. Blige, Jodi Lynn O'Keefe, Gary Busey (R 7/31/98) Mo 8/31 Howard Stern (R 7/2/98) Tu 9/1 Boyz II Men, Caroline Rhea, Aaron Hall (R 8/3/98) We 9/2 Thomas Calabro, Melinda Messenger, Chico DeBarge (R 8/4/98) Th 9/3 Tyra Banks, Jeremy London, George Wallace, the Tories (R 8/5/98) Fr 9/4 Drew Carey, Brian Austin Green, Tony Rich (R 8/6/98) CHARLIE ROSE, PBS Please note that Charlie Rose listings are very tentative Mo 8/24 Ed Bradley, Christiane Amanpour (R) Tu 8/25 Tina Brown, Anna Wintour, Liz Tilberis (R) We 8/26 Jimmy Buffett, John Irving, Martin Amis (R) Th 8/27 Randall Robinson, John Lewis, Lani Guinier (R) Fr 8/28 Michael Stipe, Lou Reed, Robbie Robertson (R) Mo 8/31 Robert Duvall (R 1/29/98) Tu 9/1 Harrison Ford, David Duchovny, Billy Bob Thornton (R) We 9/2 Andy Grove, Eckhard Pfeifer, Halsey Minor (R) Th 9/3 Barry Levinson, Paul Thomas Anderson (R) Fr 9/4 George Will, Roger Angell, Frank Deford, Yogi Berra, Tim McCarver (R) Mo 9/7 Gloria Estefan, Trisha Yearwood, Natalie Merchant (R) POLITICALLY INCORRECT WITH BILL MAHER, ABC Mo 8/24 Christopher "Kid" Reid, Joe Mantegna, Cloris Leachman, Sheila Maloney Tu 8/25 Cathy Ladman, Kirby Wilbur, Coolio, Gloria Reuben We 8/26 Elayne Boosler, Jerry Nachman Th 8/27 David Cross, Richard Kind, Monica Crowley Fr 8/28 Howie Mandel, Kelly Rutherford, Horace Cooper VIBE TV, syndicated Mo 8/24 Penn & Teller, Byron Allen, Fredro Starr & Onyx (R 3/25/98) Tu 8/25 Traci Bingham, Gil Bellows, Hill Harper, Tito Nieves (R 5/15/98) We 8/26 Tamala Jones, Seth Green, Michelle Kwan (R 6/4/98) Th 8/27 Kellie Williams, Louie Anderson, Robert Forster, Rose Royce (R 3/3/98) Fr 8/28 Arabella Field, Latia Robinson, Jimmy Ray (R 6/5/98) Mo 8/31 Natasha Henstridge, Antonio Sabato Jr., Ernie Hudson, Dakota Moon (R 4/20/98) Tu 9/1 Vivica A. Fox, Justin Lazard, Tamia with Jermaine Dupree (R 4/10/98) We 9/2 Holly Robinson Peete, Sean Patrick Flannery, Anne O. Faulk (R 4/22/98) Th 9/3 Oscar de la Hoya, Talisa Soto, Richard Bean, Ozomatli (R 3/5/98) Fr 9/4 Scott Bakula, Earth, Wind, and Fire (R 4/17/98) THE CHRIS ROCK SHOW, HBO Fr 8/28 Lenny Kravitz SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network Fr 8/28 Garrett Morris, Mark McEwen HOWARD STERN, E! Mo 8/24 Carmen Electra (R), Reggie Miller (R), Tawny Kitaen Part 1 (R) Tu 8/25 Ozzy Osborne Part 1 (R), Stuttering John (R), Tawny Kitaen Part 2 (R) We 8/26 Ozzy Osborne Part 2 (R), Go Gos Part 1 (R), Lisa's Operation Part 1 (R) Th 8/27 Knockers The Clown (R), Go Gos Part 2 (R), Lisa's Operation Part 2 (R) Fr 8/28 Bio-Lene Girl (R), Richard Lewis Returns (R), Gump & The Pump (R) Su 8/30 Carol Alt Parts 1 and 2 (R) Remember, Howard's weekend "Power Hour" has moved to Sunday. MAD TV (FOX) Sa 8/29 Halle Berry on "Funky Walker, Dirty Talker" / "Antonia: Heart Attack" / "Parker Sisters: Interns" (R 5/16/98) SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (NBC) Sa 8/29 The Best of Chris Farley (R) SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (Comedy Central) Mo 8/24 Danny DeVito / Brian Ferry 11 AM & Midnight; Rosie O'Donnell / James Taylor 3 PM Tu 8/25 Angie Dickinson / David Gilmour / Buster Poindexter 11 AM & Midnight; Nicole Kidman / Stone Temple Pilots 3 PM Also on late nights: NIGHTLINE and WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC THE HOWARD STERN RADIO SHOW, CBS and syndicated LOVELINE, MTV UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS NIGHTSIDE and LATER, NBC (going away soon) DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1 Entire contents Copyright 1998 by Aaron Barnhart. All rights reserved. LATE SHOW NEWS is made possible with the generous assistance of ECHO, New York City's premiere online service. http://www.echonyc.com Send news for and comments about this newsletter to aaron@tvbarn.com