LATE SHOW NEWS #167 August 26, 1997 by Aaron Barnhart NOTE: This issue is rated L for language and S for sentimental hygiene. *** I've been meaning to rave about the Letterman show's area on America Online, Late Show Online. Here is a site that offers that extremely rare convergence of high-quality content and genuine online community. Maintained by "Late Show" staffers Jay Johnson and Walter Kim, Late Show Online has something new on it every day. The people on it, many of them your fellow LSN subscribers, give the site a lot of character -- and as we are obligated to mention every time the subject of AOL comes up, it's a great place to meet people! My favorite part of Late Show Online is "Rupert's Sandwich of the Week," a daily feature in which the Hello Deli proprietor chooses a new sandwich recipe every week from those submitted by AOL subscribers, after which the sandwich is foist upon unsuspecting patrons, who are asked a battery of questions and then subjected to a taste test. The Q-and-A's are clever and, in their own narrowcast way, fascinating. I especially like it when Rupert answers his mail and we can all see how utterly without guile or showbiz sheen he really is. There is more content here than a one-hour t.v. show has time for. (In answer to the question posed by one reader in the mail section below, *here* is what Dave's writers spend their days doing!) There are funny charts and graphs, a daily download of comedy from the show, and audio clips from "Dave's Record Collection," supplied by show writer Steve Young. You can view Leonard Tepper's Suit of AOL Disks, if you've got the stomach, or just glance at the cover of tonight's show script. The message boards are surprisingly good, thanks in part to some longtime LSN readers/contributors. Tom Heald has a running game, "Cabin Boy Connection," which challenges movie buffs to connect Dave's appearance in "Cabin Boy" to some other celebrity in their latest film appearance. And Monica Bay just started a fashion-tips column there as well. Then there are the chatrooms. If you can wade through all of the nonsense posted by people who are obviously looking for some other place on AOL -- namely, the place where 13-year-old boys disguise themselves as 40-year-old guys in order to pick up 13-year-old boys posing as 20-something women -- the Late Show Online "El Chat Room" can be a lot of fun. Your best bet is to tune in during the evening hours when the hosts are there. Heald and Bay are two hosts, but the guy who really holds court in El Chat Room is Don Giller, aka Donz5. Not only does Don see all and know all, which we knew, he is a very charming online personality, which you may not have known. He's made to spend far too much time battling the little turds that like to go foul up chat rooms, but I've always found him happy to lower his shield and talk in chatterspace, so go say hi. The best times to visit El Chat Room are Wednesdays at 10 p.m. Eastern, when the "Late Show" staff fire off Top Ten categories in a lightning-round sequence and you come up with the punchlines. You'll be amazed how good some of the online participants' off-the-cuff answers are. And Thursdays at 10, Giller hosts "Stump the Donz," a bit of a misnomer these days since Don no longer answers *your* questions, but *asks* them. This one you've got to see to believe. I can't tell you Late Show Online is worth plunking down $20 a month for unlimited AOL use, but for fans of the show, it just might be. *** We have seen "The Tom Show," the new WB sitcom starring Tom Arnold and Ed McMahon, and god help us, we like it ... Fellow TV critic Ed Bark asked McMahon if he hears much from Johnny Carson. ``We talk on the phone, and occasionally we have lunch together. But his attitude is: `Ed, I did it. That's it. No questions asked. Don't go there. It's over.' And I have to respect that'' ... Why the heck are they making Molson ads *now* featuring Bob and Doug MacKenzie, the mythical "SCTV" brothers from up north that were popular when I was in high school? "We held focus groups all over the country to better understand the Molson brands," said one of the brew's top U.S. flacks, "and it was pretty amazing how high the McKenzie brothers were in awareness, even though they weren't on the air" ... "Keenen Ivory Wayans" is starting to run away and hide from "Vibe" in their late-night battles. Both shows lost share following their strong debut weeks, but ratings for "Keenen" in the 38 top markets are about the same as the shows it replaced, while "Vibe" ratings are down 19% from the July time-period averages last year after two weeks. That same week, "Tonight Show" averaged a 5.3 national rating and a 16% audience share, seemingly unaffected by the summer doldrums, or new late-night shows ... Thanks to Anne Raugh for alerting me to the "Politically Incorrect" web site, which actually posts complete transcripts of each show. Now you can determine for yourself if Bill really said "fuck" on the air last week ... Also, in light of my mention of www.tvtix.com in LSN #166, "PI" also offers a ticketing service through its Web page; tell 'em which dates you want to attend and they'll call you back (hopefully in enough time to book a flight to L.A.) *** Reader mail: This item was actually posted to the alt. fan.letterman newsgroup (thanks to Don Giller for spotting it), and may help explain one of the odder bits of writing in recent "Late Show" memory. It is written by Mike Baltes regarding a video biography of David Letterman's life that appeared during the "Late Show" broadcast commemorating Dave's 15 years in late night: "Did anyone else catch the obscure reference to Ayrton Senna's death (for those who don't know who Senna is, he is arguably the greatest Formula One Grand Prix driver of all time)? The reference occurred during the recap of Dave's life ... It stated that Dave died on May 1, 1994, the same date of Senna's tragic death during the Grand Prix of San Marino. Just wondering if any else caught that. I guess we all know that Dave is a huge open-wheel racing fan. And, like most fans of this type of racing, (I think) Senna is/was a god" ... The indomitable Al Quaglieri writes, "Nothing quite sums up what's wrong with Dave's show as the recent appearance of Mira Sorvino on Dave one night and Conan the next. Dave did the 'ain't you purty' celeb schtick, your typical run-thru; Conan had Sorvino act out some of her dramatic bug-movie dialog in her annoying 'Mighty Aphrodite' voice. It was killer. Question: does Dave still have writers on staff, and if so, what exactly are they doing?" ... Sean McCord writes, "I have to comment on one paragraph from LSN 8/12/97, to wit: 'CNN's Bobbie Battista was all set to make an appearance as herself on Al Franken's "Lateline," but won't now that CNN prez Tom Johnson is rescinding permission in light of the "Contact" controversy, reports Matt Drudge.' "Okay, so maybe I don't watch enough TV (!!!) but: Who is Bobbie Battista? What is Al Franken's 'Lateline'? What 'Contact' controversy? Who is Matt Drudge? Did I miss an issue of LSN? Sorry, I don't mean to pick one small paragraph apart, but I'm usually pretty good at following even Dennis Miller's arcane references." That's okay, Sean. The answers are: a CNN reporter, an NBC show-in-development, a movie with too many CNN reporters in it, an NBC show-in-development, and no. Tom Heald's THIS NIGHT IN HISTORY Exclusive to LATE SHOW NEWS Tu 8/26: In 1921, William Preston is born. Though he's appeared in over 60 Shakespearean productions, he can currently be found entertaining, yet scaring the heck out of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" audiences as "Carl 'Oldy' Olsen." We're told by LSN reader Aaron Dickey, "there is nothing creepier than standing three feet from Carl 'Oldy' Olsen. This is one STRANGE dude." We 8/27: In 1984, "Dr. Ruth" premiers in late night on Lifetime cable. "You zee now hu can learn to haff goood zex fife nides za feek!" Th 8/28: In 1952, "The Steve Allen Show" last airs on CBS. Seems like the 68th time we've run this item, don't it? But they're all different "Steve Allen Shows." Fr 8/29: In 1969, to compete with "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson" and ABC's "Joey Bishop Show," CBS unleashed Merv Griffin upon late night. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! Sa 8/30: In 1993, the phrase, "Where the hell are the singing cats?" becomes the intellectual property of CBS, on the premiere of "Late Show With David Letterman." Su 8/31: In 1958, Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme meet for the first time on "The Steve Allen Show." And have been annoying late night audiences as a duo ever since. Mo 9/1: In 1992, "A lot of people ask who's he -- or she." All is revealed... well... some... actually very little is revealed about "Saturday Night Live"'s ambiguous Pat when Hyperion books publishes his... uh... her... uh, Pat's autobiography "It's Pat!: My Life Exposed" written by by Julia Sweeney, Christine Zander & Norman Ng. Chastise Tom Heald at [Special thanks to the incredible David Tanny, Aaron Dickey, and Damone. Continued thanks to Donz5.] THE LINEUPS with Sue Trowbridge LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS Tu 8/26 Paul Reiser, Tia Carrere, Echo & the Bunnymen We 8/27 Laurence Fishburne, Jonathan Katz, Paula Cole Th 8/28 Tom Arnold, Dane Cooke Fr 8/29 Danny Aiello, Radiohead Mo 9/1 Terry Bradshaw, Carmen Electra Tu 9/2 Steven Seagal, Beck We 9/3 Joan Lunden, Chris Rock, Fiona Apple Th 9/4 Geena Davis, Jamie Foxx, Martha Stewart Fr 9/5 Kevin Kline, Buck O'Neil, Eddie Brill THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC Mo 8/25 Sandra Bullock, Maestro Harrell, Charles Shaughnessy (R 6/9/97) Tu 8/26 Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tim Allen, animal impressionist Hank Shores (R 11/21/96) We 8/27 Tom Jones, Will Smith (R 6/26/97) Th 8/28 John Travolta, 6-year-old Emily Young, Tom Dreesen (R 6/27/97) Fr 8/29 George Clooney, Gary McCord, Charles Cozart (R 6/10/97) Mo 9/1 Dennis Rodman, Tracy Ullman, Lance Burton (R 2/6/97) Tu 9/2 Veronica Webb, Clyde Peeling, Steve Oedekerk We 9/3 Courtney Thorne-Smith, Ed McMahon, Clint Black Th 9/4 Alicia Silverstone, Matchbox 20 Fr 9/5 Karen Duffy, John Tesh, Jon Bon Jovi LATE LATE SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER, CBS Tu 8/26 Brian Williams, Arlene Friedman (R 1/9/97) We 8/27 Lou Holtz, David Brudnoy (R 1/28/97) Th 8/28 Lisa Hartman-Black, Thomas Mallon (R 3/17/97) Fr 8/29 Dave Thomas, Mary Karr (R 2/28/97) LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC Tu 8/26 Bob Dole, David Blaine, Tisha Campbell (R 5/14/97) We 8/27 Kevin Nealon, Tim Russert, Anka Radokovich (R 5/21/97) Th 8/28 Billy Crystal, Wolfgang Puck (R 5/9/97) Fr 8/29 Mike Myers, Jerry O'Connell, Tonic (R 5/8/97) LATER, NBC Tu 8/26 Chris "Kid" Reid with David Foster (R 4/2/97) We 8/27 Teddy Carpenter with Tim Conway (R 12/30/96) Th 8/28 Dave Chappelle with Billy Bob Thornton (R 3/17/97) CHARLIE ROSE, PBS Tu 8/26 Clint Eastwood (R 11/15/96) We 8/27 Winona Ryder (R 2/03/97; includes 15 minutes of previously unseen footage) Th 8/28 Tim Allen, Roseanne (R 11/21/96) Fr 8/29 Garry Wills (R 3/07/97) Mo 9/1 Don Imus (R 4/09/97) Tu 9/2 Maya Angelou; U.S. Open With Pancho Segura We 9/3 Aerosmith (tentative); Charles S. Dutton Th 9/4 Michael Douglas Fr 9/5 F. Murray Abraham & Bruce Davison POLITICALLY INCORRECT WITH BILL MAHER, ABC Tu 8/26 Jay Thomas, John Schneider, Dr. Andrew Weil, Faye Kellerman We 8/27 Dick Van Patten, Queen Latifah, Andrea Sheldon Th 8/28 Sammy Hagar, Farai Chideya Fr 8/29 Kathy Ireland, Chris Farley VIBE, syndicated Tu 8/26 Chi McBride, Tony Bennett We 8/27 Luke Tarsitano, Diana King Th 8/28 Changing Faces Fr 8/29 Laurence Fishburne, Cicely Tyson HOWARD STERN, E! Tu 8/26 Tracy Hampton, O.J. Juror, Elephant Boy Scams Staff, Pt. 1 We 8/27 Gary's Teeth Challenged, Elephant Boy Scams Staff, Pt. 2 Th 8/28 Rumplemintz Quiz, Debi Mazar Fr 8/29 The Fan Wedding, What's My Color? Sa 8/30 Tom Arnold's Sexy Stories, Pts. 1-2 SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network Fr 8/29 Jimmy Cliff and Jack Logan Fr 9/5 Dr. Maxcy Nolan and Steve Arnold (from Peachtree Pest Control) Also on late nights: NIGHTLINE and WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC CHARLES GRODIN, CNBC CARSON'S COMEDY CLASSICS, Family Channel MAD TV, Fox SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC (this season) and Comedy Central (classics) THE DAILY SHOW, Comedy Central THE RUPAUL SHOW, VH1 LOVELINE and ODDVILLE MTV, MTV UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS NIGHTSIDE, NBC DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1 (returns August 28) KEENEN IVORY WAYANS, Syndicated Entire contents Copyright 1997 by Aaron Barnhart. All rights reserved. Distributed by e-mail and BBS to over 10,000 readers weekly. Guest lineups are updated throughout the week by Sue Trowbridge at LATE SHOW NEWS is made possible with the generous assistance of ECHO, New York City's premiere online service. Send news for and comments about this newsletter to aaron@tvbarn.com