LATE SHOW NEWS #168 September 2, 1997 by Aaron Barnhart NOTE: This issue is rated L for language and P for punctuality. *** Surprise! The issue's out early this week. I've got a pile of writing to do, so this edition will compensate in timeliness for what it may lack in bulk. *** Howard Stern apparently was the inspiration for not one but two prank callers, one to CNN and one to MSNBC, during those networks' unrelenting coverage of Princess Diana's death this weekend. In what will go down as one of the all-time champion phone hoaxes, a caller identifying himself as Michael Solomon and claiming to have been driving in the opposite direction down the tunnel where the Mercedes carrying the princess crashed suckered CNN's Linden Soles for a full quarter-hour. And then, as reader Tom Roche describes it, "as they wrapped up the guy said 'and there's just one thing I want to add' and I immediately thought, 'this guy's a FAKE and here comes something.' Sure enough, what he wanted to add was a series of Daffy Duck bird noises, shouted loudly. Not even I found any of this funny." That apparently didn't stop the New York Daily News and several TV agencies around the world from using this interview, with caller Michael Solomon, in their subsequent coverage of the crash *as though the account were true.* Caller ID, anyone? *** Of course, there are those who seek out the spotlight, and then there are those who get caught in its glare, whether they like it or not. Letterman's had his share on his show: the guard at the GE building; the guy trysting with a woman at an outdoor cafe; Manny; and now this. Last week, Letterman's wandering electronic eye strolled into a pizza place a couple of doors down from the Ed Sullivan Theater and chanced upon a mother and son who identified themselves as the Nelsons. Dave chatted with them a while, asked the kid where he was from; he almost said "California" before mom jumped in and corrected him; she explained that they'd moved around a bit. "Sounds like a kidnapping," joked Dave. The Nelsons were then asked to come to the theater, where they appeared later in the show in a couple of Chroma-key-enhanced comedy sketches. As it turns out, it *was* kidnapping. Renee Nelson, the mom, up and left Minneapolis with the boy four years ago and the boy's father, Neil Peterson, hasn't seen his son since. Not, that is, until he happened to be watching "Late Show" last week and witnessed the exchange between Dave, Renee, and son. Peterson says his ex-wife and son have moved 14 times in the past four years. A Minnesota court says mom is guilty of a felony for violating an order awarding dad visitation rights. The show has no comment and neither does Renee Nelson; she skipped town without waiting to collect their union scale for appearing on the show. A report aired on WCCO-TV in Minneapolis and is at this URL: Ever notice that weird shit like this never happens to Leno? *** First it was the Smothers Brothers web page, where we could see the Southern interracial wedding sketch that CBS deemed unfit for broadcast 30 years ago. Now, through the magic of streaming video, classic segments from Dick Cavett's ABC late show will appear on the Alternative Entertainment Network , beginning Friday. Bette Davis, Alfred Hitchcock and Groucho Marx are among the first guests, appearing in edited 15-minute clips of "streamed" video, which you may or may not be able to receive, depending on how many horses your PC has. And since, judging by my mail, some of you haven't learned to work Yahoo! , here's the Web address for the Smothers Brothers site and "Politically Incorrect": smothersbrothers.com abc.com/pi *** Would you stay up late to watch "Edgewise," the smartly attired and freshly canceled MSNBC series hosted by John Hockenberry, on NBC? So would I, which is why you may find this recent online exchange between Hockenberry and a fan somewhat dispiriting: "[Fan:] Suggestion: 'SNL' has been on artificial life support long enough. Put it out of its misery and give John and 'Edgewise' ... the slot. "[Hockenberry:] We suggested the very same deal... They said no to 'SNL' and to 'Later' and to following Tim Russert on Sunday AM." (thanks Steve Rhodes) *** Reader Gert-Jan Kramer has been keeping us posted over the months on the ongoing travails of "Late Show" in Holland, where the program was yanked from, then restored to Dutch airwaves by network RTL5. As Kramer reported in LSN #160, Letterman was brought back two months ago in response to a massive letter-writing campaign by fans of the American import. But now, he's history once again. Ratings sank after the first week, with fewer than 80,000 out of a population of 15 million people watching, and advertisers stayed away. "Call me a conspiracy freak," says Kramer of Dave's sudden departure following the August 26 airing, "but the very week after Dave is taken off the air by RTL5, TV-station RTL4 (yes, an affiliated station) proudly presents a brand new Dutch Late Night show, which by the looks of the host - Peter Jan Rens - promises to be a real clunker." Rens's show, we should caution, is not to be confused with "Laat de Leeuw," starring Dutch funnyman Paul de Leeuw, which returns from its hiatus later this month. *** More reader mail: Jacqueline Dupree writes, "The reason I'm writing is to ask you, powerful late night voyeur that you are, to use some of your influence to get those folks at 'The Daily Show' to DITCH that god-awful new opening! It was okay the first 10 times, but now it looks ridiculous and, even worse, the humor is just plain beneath Liz, Craig, and the gang. Why does a show that is so cool have to have an opening that looks like it comes from the beginning of a Carol Burnett skit?" ... Tim Cain writes with more information about the Bob and Doug MacKenzie brothers' new series of spots for Molson beer. "I could swear that I've read quotes from Dave Thomas saying he and Rick Moranis were doing the spots to raise financing for a new MacKenzie brothers movie, which is already written, and which they want to do without studio interference. Thomas used to post somewhat regularly in the SCTV newsgroup, and I SWEAR I remember reading a note from him saying something along the lines of, 'you fans may all be confused and concerned by what you're going to see in the near future, but the point is building toward a movie.' So when I saw the Molson ads, I assumed Thomas and/or Moranis went to Molson." And if *that* doesn't pay enough, as the old joke goes, they could drink Canada dry ... Dave Crossley writes, "I'd just like to say that Paul Reiser is one of my most hated guests to appear on the 'Late Show.' He relies almost solely on pre-written bits (which he probably used in his book and numerous other talk shows). When he actually does do something spontaneous it's usually not worth laughing at. It makes me wonder if he's like this in real life, and if he isn't why doesn't he just be himself on the show? Number two, he's like Kathie Lee or Rosie O'Donnell in talking about his kids. I know Paul's is all mostly made up, but I think Cody and Rosie's little one will not turn out normal due to all of the attention and invasion of privacy that their mothers are putting on them. Paul's little kid is going to be mercilessly teased whether or not the bits in the book are true or not. Number three, he doesn't say 'grab-ass' enough" ... And finally, Bob Joress passes along a story, take it or leave it, which may provide the proper etymology to one of the words in Letterman's lexicon of self-descriptions: "I got hooked on Dave by a good friend of mine at my former place of employ, an old RCA site that became GE. Using a bit of political influence I managed to get 4 tickets to two different shows in the fall of 1990. My friend went first, taking his wife along with a bag of GE trinkets (of course you recall the bad feelings betwixt GE and Dave) and was determined to speak to Dave and hand him the bag 'o stuff. He got front row seats but that's it -- he never spoke to Dave, got on camera, or unloaded the goodies. "I didn't have a chance," he said. Well, my challenge of course was to outdo him. I sweet-talked an intern into giving me Dave's office fax number and faxes him every day telling him I was coming, where I hoped to sit, and that I'd yell out, "Hey, Dave, it's me -- Bob. I've got a GE badge for you." The day finally arrived and I did it up in style. I rented a limo/driver for me and the wife for the whole day, drove from Framingham to NYC, shopped the town, and was the first to enter the studio. I sat stage right, first row, first seat. Dave entered pre-show to thunderous applause, walked right past me, and headed mid-stage, about mid-audience, asking "Does anyone have any questions for me before we start?" Well, I caught his eye with a hypnotizing swing of the GE badge and mouthed the words 'Hey, Dave, it's me -- Bob!' "The plan worked! Dave walked over and took the badge I made him. It said 'Dave Letterman, TV Boy, GE -- We Suck and We Know It." We spoke for a minute or two, I got a big audience laugh for a reference to me leaving GE due to plant-closing; he countered with possibly the first public hint of his own NBC departure. Then, in his three-joke monologue, he said out of the blue, '*I'm* TV Boy,' and they flashed my mug on camera. He still uses the 'TV Boy' reference to this day!" Tom Heald's THIS NIGHT IN HISTORY Exclusive to Late Show News Tu 9/2: In 1984, "The George Michael Sports Machine" debuts on NBC with a host with the same name as one of the boys from "Wham!" and what appeared to be a set left over from a *bad* Irwin Allen film. We 9/3: Once upon a time, having your picture on the cover of TV Guide really meant something. On this day in 1955, the cover was graced by "a bright young comic" and his co-star wife ... Johnny and Jody Carson. Th 9/4: In 1977, the sitcom "A Year At The Top" last airs on CBS. Why mention this? (I know Aaron is wondering.) Well, this tale of two wacky young kids trying to make it big in Hollywood co-starred Greg Evigan and (Ladies and Gentlemen) Paul Shaffer. In the four weeks the show was on the air, they never made it. Fr 9/5: In 1983, the new king of late night is here and his name is ... Alan Thicke?!? "Thicke Of The Night" debuts in syndication, courtesy of network programming genius Fred Silverman. Sa 9/6: In 1947, unto the Curtins a child is born. And she shall be known throughout the world as "Jane, you misguided ignorant slut," "Prymaat Conehead," "the blonde one on 'Kate & Allie,'" and whatever her name is on that alien sitcom of NBC's that doesn't really need publicity from LATE SHOW NEWS. Su 9/7: Okay, so we were wrong about Alan Thicke being the new champion of late night. We've got a real contender for you -- it premiered on this day in 1993. "The Chevy Chase Show," with bandleader Tom Scott, who led the band aboard another doomed cruise ship, "The Pat Sajak Show." Mo 9/8: In 1952, Will Lee is born. Though he took lessons for piano, violin, trumpet, French horn, drums, Lee finally found success as a bass player. A good thing for both "The World's Most Dangerous Band" and "The CBS Orchestra." [Thanks to Big Look Entertainment, Tim Brooks, Earl Marsh and the unnecessarily Java-enhanced David Tanny. Special thanks to the master - Donz5. Hey kids, wanna win an official "Late Show with David Letterman" sponge? Play the "Cabin Boy Connection with Tom Heald" on America Online. Keyword: Late Show] THE LINEUPS with Sue Trowbridge LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS Mo 9/1 Terry Bradshaw, Carmen Electra, Eddie Brill Tu 9/2 Steven Seagal, 6-year-old hula hoop expert Brittany Starr, Beck We 9/3 Joan Lunden, Chris Rock, Fiona Apple Th 9/4 Geena Davis, Robert Carlyle, Martha Stewart Fr 9/5 Kevin Kline, Jamie Foxx, Sugar Ray Mo 9/8 Danny DeVito, Salma Hayek, Tim McGraw Tu 9/9 Kevin Spacey, Joan Cusack, Louie Anderson We 9/10 Noah Wyle, Damon Wayans, Missy Elliott Th 9/11 Andie McDowell, Nanci Griffith and Darius Rucker THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC Mo 9/1 Dennis Rodman, Tracy Ullman, Lance Burton (R 2/6/97) Tu 9/2 Veronica Webb, Clyde Peeling, Steve Oedekerk We 9/3 Courtney Thorne-Smith, Ed McMahon, Clint Black Th 9/4 Alicia Silverstone, Alan Morgan, Matchbox 20 Fr 9/5 Karen Duffy, John Tesh, Jon Bon Jovi Mo 9/8 Jason Priestley, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Tap Dogs Tu 9/9 Brooke Shields, Oscar de la Hoya, Amy Grant We 9/10 Michael Douglas, Laura San Giacomo, The Wilsons Th 9/11 Bob Newhart, Carol Leifer, Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood LATE LATE SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER, CBS Mo 9/1 Sharon Lawrence, Sol Wachtler (R 4/16/97) Tu 9/2 Frank McCourt, former CIA officer Patrick Eddington (R 4/17/97) We 9/3 Mandy Patinkin, Oklahoma City resident Aren Almon (R 5/1/97) Th 9/4 Penelope Ann Miller, Letitia Baldridge (R 5/7/97) Fr 9/5 Martin Short, Margaret George (R 5/13/97) Mo 9/8 Jay Thomas, Harlan Ellison Tu 9/9 Charles Dutton We 9/10 Michael Moore LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC Mo 9/1 Kathleen Turner, Ken Ober, Matthew Sweet (R 6/5/97) Tu 9/2 Farrah Fawcett, Arianna Huffington, Ben Folds Five (R 6/10/97) We 9/3 Michael Richards, Peta Wilson, Jamiroquai (R 6/4/97) Th 9/4 Helen Hunt, Dick Clark, Brian Kiley (R 5/19/97) Fr 9/5 Fabio, Jonathan Katz, Widespread Panic (R 6/19/97) LATER, NBC Mo 9/1 Wendy Liebman with Penn & Teller Tu 9/2 Wendy Liebman with Caroline Rhea We 9/3 Wendy Liebman with Christopher McDonald Th 9/4 Wendy Liebman with Tia Carrere CHARLIE ROSE, PBS Mo 9/1 Don Imus (R 4/09/97) Tu 9/2 Maya Angelou; U.S. Open With Pancho Segura We 9/3 Aerosmith (tentative); Charles S. Dutton Th 9/4 Michael Douglas Fr 9/5 F. Murray Abraham & Bruce Davison POLITICALLY INCORRECT WITH BILL MAHER, ABC Mo 9/1 James Coburn, Lakita Garth, Robert Townsend, Senator Robert Toricelli (R 3/25/97) Tu 9/2 Debbie Allen, John Gray, Naomi Wolf, John Larroquette (R 6/18/97) We 9/3 Alec Baldwin, Ted Danson, Mary Steenburgen, Betsy Hart (R 5/8/97) Th 9/4 Karen Finley, Dr. Stanislaw Burzynski, Dr. Judith Reichman, French Stewart (R 3/7/97) Fr 9/5 Dana Carvey, Joe Queenan, Dee Dee Myers, Susan Carpenter McMillan (R 1/14/97) HOWARD STERN, E! Mo 9/1 Jenna Jameson's White Dress, Arlen Specter Tu 9/2 Eleanor Mondale, Wayne Gretzky We 9/3 Keanu Reeves/Dogstar, Pt. 1, Gambling Dan the Intern Th 9/4 Keanu Reeves/Dogstar, Pt. 2, Corky Fr 9/5 The Musical Group Live!, Mental Patient Phoner Sa 9/6 Power Hour: Hermaphrodite, Zack Streaks SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network Fr 9/5 Dr. Maxcy Nolan and Steve Arnold (from Peachtree Pest Control) Fr 9/12 Mark Hamill and Billy Mumy DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1 Broadcasting this week from Berlin: Mo 1/9 Marusha ("My Best Friend"), Wolfgang Joop ("Deutschlands groesster Modezar") Di 2/9 Juergen Vogel, Kai Pflaume Mi 3/9 Piet Klocke, Ingolf Lueck Do 4/9 Ingo Appelt, Guenter Jauch Fr 5/9 Nadja Auermann, Boxer Axel Schulz Also on late nights: NIGHTLINE and WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC CHARLES GRODIN, CNBC CARSON'S COMEDY CLASSICS, Family Channel MAD TV, Fox SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC (this season) and Comedy Central (classics) THE DAILY SHOW, Comedy Central THE RUPAUL SHOW, VH1 LOVELINE and ODDVILLE MTV, MTV UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS NIGHTSIDE, NBC VIBE TV and KEENEN IVORY WAYANS, Syndicated Entire contents Copyright 1997 by Aaron Barnhart. All rights reserved. Distributed by e-mail and BBS to over 10,000 readers weekly. Guest lineups are updated throughout the week by Sue Trowbridge at LATE SHOW NEWS is made possible with the generous assistance of ECHO, New York City's premiere online service. Send news for and comments about this newsletter to aaron@tvbarn.com