LATE SHOW NEWS #218 September 8, 1998 by Aaron Barnhart To join or leave the LATE-SHOW-NEWS mailing list, see instructions at end of message. (m i n i -) A D V E R T I S E M E N T The books are shipping this week, so before you find yourself at the checkout line contemplating that TV Guide with "the 75 hottest shows on TV!", head on over to the Web site for BARNHART'S UNAUTHORIZED TV '98 at http://lateshownews.com There's a 15-page sampler of the book in Acrobat format ready for downloading there. You can also order the book from a secure server for $9.95 and that includes shipping by first-class mail. Kagi, my payment processor, accepts Mastercard, Visa, American Express, Discover and Diners Card. (Add $5 if outside the U.S., Canada or Mexico.) Don't worry, I'll give you your money back if you don't like it. It's also a good way to support LATE SHOW NEWS, if you feel so inclined. If you don't have Web access at all, you can order a copy by mailing $9.95 in U.S. funds made payable to BARNHART'S UNAUTHORIZED TV '98 and mailing to Aaron Barnhart, PO Box 36331, Kansas City, MO 64171. Just bear in mind it may take longer to process your order than with Kagi. *** I just received a very interesting account sent along by the friend of a recent "Late Show" taping attendee. Seems David Letterman's always-creative staff has devised a new ticket-issuing scheme. They now draw ticket numbers at random, herd the lucky ticket holders inside the theater, throw out Letterman trivia questions ("Who was the first guest ever on the show, and what miraculous feat did he do on the show? Answers: Bill Murray and jaywalk), and whoever answers correctly gets great tickets to the show, no waiting. Here's more from the account, though we should advise our affiliates that there will be strong language in what follows: "The show starts and I'm stunned by the lack of audience pandemonium. I seem to remember standing ovations as routine, but this crowd seems reserved and never goes for it. I noticed on the tape they showed the back row of the balcony, standing I think, where they usually show the main floor ovation. The crowd seems quiet, Dave's jokes seem weak, and you find yourself putting a lot of pressure on yourself to be a good audience member and laugh/applaud heartily. I think Dave senses 'lame audience' but I could have been projecting since I was underwhelmed. "Dave is very thin now. Very old looking. Martin Short sings a Broadway-themed top 10 list and just seems so regular guy, right there, just a normal schmoe. Dave looks like your banker uncle. Paul looks like humble little man, Sid like a guitar player at Gabe's in Iowa City. "Martin's Top 10 was so-so -- up till number 2, when he sings something like, 'Bummer when the Domino's guy leaves a fucking used Band-Aid on the pizza, the asshole' -- and on the monitor they actually spelled out 'fucking' and 'asshole.' The crowd went nuts. After the show they asked to stay to re-tape part of the top 10. They actually did about 4 or 5 new items, and must have cut and pasted the new ones in after deleting the lamer ones as well as the swearing one. I think it was just a ploy to get the crowd roused." *** Reader Scott Barvian asked last week if any other TV markets feature localized promos with Jay Leno on their local late news. Another reader, Scott Toschlog, replies, "I worked at an NBC affiliate in Houston, and about a year ago Leno began offering this service. After taping his show, he tapes individualized promos (often with the guests from the couch) for NBC affiliates who subscribe to this service ... For the station, it requires the effort of faxing Leno the anchors' names each afternoon (because anchors are always on vacation) and rolling tape at the certain time when NBC feeds it. I bet a lot of smaller stations don't see this as worth the effort, but it's pretty smart promotion, I think. Dave should take note, but he doesn't seem to be doing the job to get bigger numbers as much as for his own amusement. That's why I like him so much better." Other sources report that Leno doesn't always nail it on the first take, or the next, or the next ... meaning the studio audience is held captive for as long as 45 minutes beyond the normal taping time, waiting for the promos and other off-air bits to finish. Other markets where readers report Leno is schmoozing with news anchors include Chicago, Columbus, Washington, San Francisco and Raleigh-Durham. *** Here's something that makes no sense whatsoever but doesn't stop me from heartily recommending it anyway. Stories from the news wire are being rewritten by the crack minds, or crack-addled minds, of "Space Ghost Coast to Coast," fresh each day at http://www.cartoonnetwork.com. Each story features the original wire piece ... Telluride Film Festival Kicks Off HOLLYWOOD (Variety) - Shrouded in typical secrecy, the 25th annual Telluride Film Festival is set to kick off Wednesday with all the mystery of a reconstituted Orson Welles film. Indeed, the Colorado event will screen a re-edited version of Welles' "Touch of Evil" along with a slate of independent and experimental pictures. The Welles picture was to have premiered at the Cannes Film Festival on May 22, but that plan was scrapped after granddaughter Beatrice Welles complained that the "altered" version of the film could not be shown without her consent. The studios have since decided through their lawyers that Welles' claim has no merit, and they resurrected the premiere idea for the Telluride and Toronto festivals. They also plan to release "Touch of Evil" domestically this fall. ... then applies what old-time Letterman fans will recognize as the famed "writer's embellishment": Studios Shrug Shoulders at Welles' Granddaughter HOLLYWOOD (GPN) - A Telluride Film Festival is moving ahead with plans to show a re-edited version of Orson Welles' "Touch of Evil," despite the protests of granddaughter Beatrice Welles. The film was originally slated to premiere at the Cannes Film Festival in May, but Welles complained that the film could not be shown without her consent. The studios have since decided that Welles' claim has no merit. Not only will they premiere the film at Telluride, they also plan to release it domestically this fall. The studios have not stopped there, however, in their defiance of the granddaughter. Representatives from the studio have also pinched her very hard on the arm and offered the woman a sandwich, only to snatch it away at the last minute. One studio head openly solicited personal problems from Welles over the phone, only to yawn in an exaggerated manner as she recounted them. In Welles' driveway, two studio executives pantomimed a scenario in which they appeared to be threading a film through a projector, then turning it on and relaxing to watch it. *** That Magic Johnson interview noted last week is actually at http://www.eurweb.com/magic/index.html ... LATE SHOW NEWS will be on the radio this week with "Mr. KABC," himself making a rare daytime appearance. I'm on KABC in Los Angeles at 9 a.m. Thursday ... Phoenix has also dropped Howard Stern's TV show and the program director in Kansas City, who's often a good barometer of industry mood, told me he's at least thinking about moving Stern to the post-midnight shift ... The Kim Coles talk show project is a done deal, but it won't be a late-night production after all ... Geof O'Keefe writes, "The Magic Johnson-Howard Stern show you mentioned in last week's edition didn't air this past Monday (Aug. 31). I was curious as to whether this was a station substitution or something else. Answer: the latter. I phoned the Santa Barbara station and was told that they had received notice from the 'Magic Show' distributor back on 8/27 that the 8/31 Stern show would not be repeating as originally scheduled" ... I have not actually read E! Online's take on "The Howard Stern Radio Show," but reader Ed Dravecky calls it "honest" and "kind of refreshing, actually": http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0%2c1%2c3540%2c00.html (why do I have a feeling that URL won't work?). *** Reader mail: Collins Cogbill cuts to the quick: "I thought it sucked Monday night when Letterman came out and re-buried the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal. Jesus Christ, it's OVER!! Not funny anymore. I guess Dave thought we didn't get enough of that during the 2-week vacation he took" ... Reader Cogbill lives in Little Rock, by the way ... Regarding my item on Toronto's CityTV's decision not to air "The Howard Stern Radio Show," Canadian readers wrote in with variations on the theme first sent in by Robin Laws: "CityTV doesn't show late-night porno. It does show mainstream films with nudity and profanity intact (as do many other Canadian channels). I suspect they chose not to run the show because of its inanity and emotional cruelty, not due to its optically-blurred raciness." Not true, actually; the owner of CHUM, the company that holds both CityTV and the Montreal FM station where Stern's radio show was dropped, said, and I quote, "CHUM Ltd. has a commitment to programming of high standards as called for in the Broadcasting Act"... And Amanda Lindsay, a "17-year-old with an opinion" from Burlington, Ontario, writes, "Magic Johnson is stupid.  It's the job of a manager to set their clients up for interviews where they'll get exposure to sell their movie, or show, or whatever.  Their managers failed to book them on his show because it SUCKED, so nobody watched!  I don't believe that any African-American celebrities failed to go on his show because they felt that they weren't 'making it' because they weren't on Leno or Letterman, but because they'd rather spend their time on a show with two very important elements -- quality and an audience." *** Tom Heald's THIS NIGHT IN HISTORY This week a special tribute to "Peaches and Her." We 9/9: In 1994, The "Dog Pound" is put to sleep as "The Arsenio Hall Show" last airs in syndication. Th 9/10: In 1965, "The Jack Paar Program" last airs on NBC with a studio audience of one -- Paar's dog. Fr 9/11: In 1995, having embarrassed Jane Bronstein several times on Sept. 8by airing footage of her eating a peach at the U.S. Open tournament, David Letterman starts including the footage in "Late Show's" nightly Top Ten list. Among tonight's "Top Ten Excuses For Us Not Winning An Emmy" is, "3. In case of a tie, deciding vote cast by this woman" (cut to the tape). Bronstein later files an invasion of privacy lawsuit against Letterman in Stamford Superior Court, in Connecticut, which has no jurisdiction in the case. Sa 9/12: In 1991, "Late Show With David Letterman" presents its annual list dealing with the Miss America Pageant with the "Top Ten Things that Will Get You Kicked Out of the Miss America Pageant," and No. 1 is "corking your swimsuit." Su 9/13: In 1995, the meek, sweating, tie-jerking Conan is gone as "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" celebrates its second anniversary by unveiling a new opening montage featuring O'Brien riding a shiny new blue bicycle through the streets of New York City. Elsewhere, Letterman is romantically linking "Peach Lady" Jane Bronstein and General Colin Powell. Mo 9/14: In 1995, Tonight's "Top Ten Surprises in Central Park West" on the "Late Show" features Letterman calling Jane Bronstein a "seductive temptress" (cut to the tape) -- another specific charge in her lawsuit. Tu 9/15: In 1995, "Top Ten Things That Will Get You Kicked Out Of The Miss America Pageant" includes, "4. Your talent? Eating a peach." [Special thanks to David Tanny. Special thanks to Donz5.] Visit Tom Heald's New and Improved This Night In History Bookstore at THE LINEUPS with Sue Trowbridge (http://www.interbridge.com/) LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS Mo 9/7 Richard Simmons, child actress Luisa Conlon Tu 9/8 Andie MacDowell, Willie Nelson We 9/9 Charles Grodin, Stephen Dorff, Wynonna Th 9/10 TBA Fr 9/11 Jack Hanna, Gretchen Mol, Nick Cave Mo 9/14 Cindy Crawford, Hootie & the Blowfish Tu 9/15 Ben Stiller, Jackie Chan, Vince Gill We 9/16 Elizabeth Hurley, George Hamilton Th 9/17 Denis Leary, Brian Benben, Mitch Hedberg Fr 9/18 Chris Tucker, the Brian Setzer Orchestra THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC Mo 9/7 Gillian Anderson, Hank Azaria, Rosalynn Carter (R 6/10/98) Tu 9/8 Jean-Claude Van Damme, Nicole Sullivan, En Vogue We 9/9 Earvin "Magic" Johnson, Famke Janssen, Natalie Imbruglia Th 9/10 Calista Flockhart, Ian Smith Fr 9/11 Timothy Hutton, Dedee Pfeiffer Mo 9/14 Conan O'Brien, Donny and Marie Osmond, Oscar de La Hoya Tu 9/15 Shaquille O'Neal We 9/16 Meryl Streep, Nathan Lane Th 9/17 Paul Reiser, Tori Amos LATE LATE SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER, CBS Mo 9/7 Jacqueline Bisset, Kathy Eldon (R 3/4/98) Tu 9/8 Shelley Winters, former police chief William Bratton (R 2/23/98) We 9/9 Jane Curtin, Cristina Crawford (R 1/21/98) Th 9/10 Larry Elder, John Irving (R 5/19/98) Fr 9/11 preempted Mo 9/14 Bill Maher, TV critic Howard Rosenberg Tu 9/15 Donald Sutherland We 9/16 Grace Slick Th 9/17 Reba McEntire, Marsha Kight (daughter died in the Oklahoma City bombing) LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC Mo 9/7 Dave Chappelle, Laura Linney, Pulp (R 6/12/98) Tu 9/8 Hank Azaria, Patrick Macnee, Shane MacGowan and the Popes (R 6/16/98) We 9/9 Sarah Michelle Gellar, Caroline Rhea, Brian Regan (R 6/23/98) Th 9/10 Ray Romano, Christina Ricci, Girls Against Boys (R 6/26/98) Fr 9/11 Alan Alda, Ana Gasteyer, Chris Eigeman (R 7/14/98) Mo 9/14 Matt Dillon, Jake Johannsen, Ben Folds Five (R 7/16/98) Tu 9/15 Jud Hale, Thomas Gibson We 9/16 Ben Stiller, Junior Brown Th 9/17 Kris Kristofferson, Nick Dipaolo Fr 9/18 George Hamilton, Los Super Seven LATER, NBC Mo 9/7 Rerun TBA Tu 9/8 Greg Kinnear with Lisa Kudrow (R 3/15/95) We 9/9 Greg Kinnear with David Schwimmer (R 5/2/96) Th 9/10 Greg Kinnear with Courteney Cox (R 9/28/94) Mo 9/14 Greg Kinnear with John Lithgow (R 4/17/95) Tu 9/15 Greg Kinnear with Julia Louis-Dreyfus (R 2/28/94) (That's the first "Later with Greg Kinnear," by the way.) We 9/16 Peter Tilden with Jason Alexander (R 4/18/96) Th 9/17 George Wallace with Jerry Seinfeld (R 4/22/96) Mo 9/21 Greg Kinnear with David Hyde Pierce (R 9/19/96) Tu 9/22 Jeff Cesario with Peri Gilpin (R 4/16/96) We 9/23 Peri Gilpin with Jane Leeves (R 2/11/98) Th 9/24 Peri Gilpin with Kelsey Grammer (R 2/10/98) CHARLIE ROSE, PBS Please note that Charlie Rose listings are very tentative Mo 9/7 Gloria Estefan, Trisha Yearwood, Natalie Merchant (R) POLITICALLY INCORRECT WITH BILL MAHER, ABC Mo 9/7 Jackie Collins, Michael Moore, Frances Fisher, Cyndi Mosteller (R 8/17/98) Tu 9/8 Bill Bellamy, Betsy Hart, Steven Page, Vicki Lawrence We 9/9 Robert Guillaume, Christine Todd Whitman, Dave Matthews, Steve Hytner Th 9/10 Alan Thicke, Lou Diamond Phillips, Celeste Grieg, Jackie Martling Fr 9/11 Cindy Crawford, Rob Schneider, Helen Gurley Brown, April Lassiter Mo 9/14 Joan Rivers, Eric Braeden, Naomi Wolf Tu 9/15 Marilu Henner, George Clinton We 9/16 Kevin Sorbo, Jamie Foxx, Michael Medved, Kim Alfano Th 9/17 Wendie Malick, Grace Slick VIBE TV, syndicated Mo 9/7 Steve Guttenberg, Montell Jordan (R 3/27/98) Tu 9/8 Maria Conchita Alonso, Cappadonna (R 5/18/98) We 9/9 Jon Cryer, Playa (R 4/15/98) Th 9/10 David Robinson, Melissa Joan Hart (R 3/6/98) Fr 9/11 Suzanne Somers, Sheryl Lee Ralph (R 4/27/98) (And that's it for "Vibe.") SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network Fr 9/11 Tyra Banks, Rebecca Romijn Fr 9/18 TBA HOWARD STERN, E! shows are listed in the order of 11 p.m., 11:30 p.m. and 2 a.m. ET Mo 9/7 Baywatch's Angelica (R), John Bobbitt's Operation Part 1 (R), Alexa & April (R) Tu 9/8 Jolene's Implants Part 1 (R), John Bobbitt's Operation Part 2 (R), Penthouse Jeopardy Part 1 (R) We 9/9 Jolene's Implants Part 2 (R), The Jackie Contest Part 1 (R), Penthouse Jeopardy Part 2 (R) Th 9/10 Tempest & Amy Lynn Part 1 (R), The Jackie Contest Part 2 (R), Sexual Surrogate (R) Fr 9/11 Tempest & Amy Lynn Part 2 (R), Grillo & Lunch (R), Amy Lynn Gets Oiled (R) Su 9/13 David Duchovny Parts 1 and 2 (R) Remember, Howard's weekend "Power Hour" has moved to Sunday. THE DAILY SHOW, Comedy Central lineups not available MAD TV (FOX) Sa 9/12 Season Opener: "There's Something About" Monica Lewinsky Vivica Fox visits "Funky Walker/Dirty Talker" The New York Observer's editorial cartoonist has already done a "Something About Monica" parody. SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (NBC) Sa 9/12 The Best of Gilda Radner Surprisingly, this is not a two- or three-parter. THE RUPAUL SHOW (VH1) We 9/9 Veronica Webb, Gary Coleman, musical guest Dionne Warwick SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Comedy Central (repeats) Tu 9/8 John Lithgow / Tracy Chapman (11 AM, Midnight); John Goodman/ Pretenders (3 PM) We 9/9 Danny DeVito / The Bangles (11 AM & Midnight); Heather Locklear/ Janet Jackson (3 PM) Th 9/10 Kevin Kline / Bobby McFerrin (11 AM & Midnight); The Thompson Twins (3 PM) Fr 9/11 Melanie Griffith / Little Feat (11 AM); Bob Uecker/ Peter Wolf (3 PM) Sa 9/12 Jesse Jackson / Crouch & Phipps (11 AM) Su 9/13 Michael McKean / Chaka Kahn (11 AM) Mo 9/14 Matthew Broderick / Sugar Cubes (11 AM & Midnight); George Carlin / Frankie Goes To Hollywood (3 PM) Tu 9/15 John Malkovich / Anita Baker (11 AM & Midnight); Ed Asner / The Kinks (3 PM) THE CHRIS ROCK SHOW, HBO Fr 9/11 Jerry Springer, DMX Fr 9/18 Musical guest Esthero IN CONCERT (ABC) Fr 9/11 Jamiroquai and Fiona Apple Also on late nights: NIGHTLINE and WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC THE HOWARD STERN RADIO SHOW, CBS and syndicated LOVELINE, MTV UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS NIGHTSIDE and LATER, NBC (going away soon) DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1 Entire contents Copyright 1998 by Aaron Barnhart. All rights reserved. LATE SHOW NEWS is made possible with the generous assistance of ECHO, New York City's premiere online service. http://www.echonyc.com Send news for and comments about this newsletter to aaron@tvbarn.com