LATE SHOW NEWS #184 December 30, 1997 by Aaron Barnhart [ A version of the following article appeared in the Dec. 29-Jan. 5 edition of The New York Observer. ] THE STATE OF THE LATE 1997 By Aaron Barnhart Cheer up, David Letterman. You're stuck in ratings hell, trapped on a network that only old folks are watching, and your erstwhile stalker, Margaret Ray, is now pursuing bigger fish in Florida. But you won the prize again as the most written-about personality in late-night television during 1997. In a year that turned out to be the most uneventful since the days of the old Carson-Letterman empire, the always-peculiar host of "Late Show with David Letterman" continued to show his amazing knack for generating some of the oddest stories in show business. Earlier this year, Mr. Letterman had to settle out of court with a victim of one of his crueller comedy moods, a tennis spectator at the U.S. Open known as the "Peach Lady" whose sloppy lunch-eating habits were exposed repeatedly on "Late Show." The show suffered an even stranger lawsuit after guest Norm MacDonald took a pratfall into an ensemble of New York Philharmonic players, allegedly injuring a flutist. On another show, Mr. Letterman was guiding his remote camera into one of the eateries a few doors down from the Ed Sullivan Theater when a mother and child caught his eye. He struck up a conversation with the pair and later invited them back to the theater to participate in a couple of on-air sketches. Only after the broadcast aired nationwide did Mr. Letterman learn he had unwittingly harbored two fugitives from justice. The boy's father, watching on a CBS affiliate in Minneapolis, said it was the first time he'd seen his son since the boy was kidnapped by his mom in a custody dispute. Who says television isn't a global village anymore? Farrah Fawcett joined Dave's pantheon of legendarily ill-prepared guests. And in a demonstration that Mr. Letterman can still put out a show for the ages when he wants to, a fleet of men dressed in bunny suits was dispatched to a midtown H&R Block office at the peak of tax-filing season, sending the office manager into a hilarious lather. Mr. Letterman even tried to make the best of his ratings rut, briefly challenging Jay Leno's "#1 in Late Night!" billboard in Times Square with one of his own reading, "#3 in Late Night!" But his former fans in the media haven't taken the bait. A national newsmagazine ripped Mr. Letterman for not telling any Marv Albert jokes following his old friend's arrest on sodomy charges. But when Albert came onto "Late Show" for an extraordinary 20-minute grilling, where were Dave's critics then? Gone, off to count the jokes on someone else's show. Jay Leno continued to crank out pleasant if edgeless shows while taking only half as much time off as his New York rival. For the one or two individuals out there who might still question his resolve, Mr. Leno told a reporter last January that he would never permit guest hosts on the "Tonight Show." Nor did he have any plans of letting up his current pace, including standup comedy gigs in Las Vegas and other cities. It was once said that writing for Jack Benny was like having a civil-service job. The same could be said of Mr. Leno and his apparently contented staff -- except that civil servants get more vacation. Conan O'Brien continued to set the gold standard in late night and Mr. O'Brien was finally rewarded with a long-term deal that will keep him on the air through 2002. Apparently reveling in their newfound job security, Mr. O'Brien and company took to appalling their audience as often as possible. The talking Thanksgiving turkey, whose appearance has become an annual "Late Night" ritual, developed flatulence. And historians will note that the first-ever attempt to introduce a masturbating bear onto a comedy show was a huge success. At other times, the show's conceptual humor was reminiscent of Mr. Letterman's days at NBC, such as Mr. O'Brien campaign to have the movie Dirty Dancing re-released (the film was scheduled for a 10th-anniversary distribution anyway) and an August taping before an audience of 6- to 8-year-olds that ended in a Silly String riot. Bill Maher survived his second traumatic move. Last year his "Politically Incorrect" migrated from New York to L.A; this year, it moved from late-night cable to late-late network TV. Maher's crackling monologues accomplish in four jokes what Mr. Leno's can't get done in 40. As for the rest of the show -- well, the format worked for Mike Douglas, didn't it? "Vibe" and "Keenen Ivory Wayans" squared off and for three or four days this summer, the nation was riveted. Mr. MacDonald said "fuck" on "Saturday Night Live" and nobody seemed to care. Tom Snyder's critics fell silent. (What were they going to say -- his audience is too old for CBS?) CNBC scrapped reruns of "Late Night" in favor of the unresourceful Charles Grodin, who rambled through an hour-long interview with David Letterman, then let Jack Paar ramble through another hour. NBC's "Later," which dropped the "With Greg Kinnear" more than a year ago, chugged along with rent-a-hosts and higher-than-ever ratings. The results were so good that NBC executives were said to be considering replacing the overnight news with more entertainment programs. (Unseen episodes of "The Tony Danza Show," perhaps?) And perennial TV strikeout artist Michael Moore shocked his New York audience by bringing out guest O.J. Simpson for a pilot of Moore's would-be late-night talk show for Fox. Mr. Simpson calmly fielded questions from Moore and hostile audience members for 45 minutes and in the end seemed to win them over. Maybe "he'll" get the talk show instead. Finally, what did we learn from "The Daily Show"? We learned why Comedy Central didn't call it "The Craig Kilborn Show." *** We had heard rumors that "Late Show Online" was going to migrate from America Online to the World Wide Web, and thought it might have been one of the first content sites launched on the Web by AOL last month. But it wasn't, and trying to glean more info from LSO's Jay Johnson was an exercise in futility. Sure enough, the show quietly pulled the plug on LSO Monday, effective immediately, without so much as an announcement. Coincidentally, yours truly is pulling the plug on his AOL account. Look for the Web version in a few weeks to months ... Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling is off the Howard Stern show, at least for now, while he tries to negotiate a better contract ... Johnny Carson gave $1 million recently to the cancer center in his hometown of Norfolk, Neb., that is named for him ... Other sites are advertising Jeff Lewis's book, "The Sweetheart of Sigma Chi: Dave Letterman, The College Years" for less than the $14.95 (plus shipping) I mentioned in my review (LSN #184). But Lewis told me last week those sites are in error and will soon be corrected ... So Earvin "Magic" Johnson's new late-night talk show will launch in June, not January as previously announced. And adding a further wrinkle, the show has been sold to all 22 stations owned by the Fox network -- which have already signed a deal to continue carrying "Keenen Ivory Wayans." What will happen? Current speculation says "Keenen" will be treated like some old flavah and moved one hour latah ... Speaking of which, ex-"Vibe" Chris Spencer spouted off on NBC's "Later," and the network's p.r. wing helpfully supplied these quotables: "It was a weird situation. They were very worried about it being a 'black' show. I never knew what they were trying to say. It was awkward." And: "I started hearing the buzz in the 'city' that they were thinking of replacing me, like, in the third week. Around the fifth week, people would slip up. The janitor would be sweeping, 'You're still here?' So, people knew and I didn't know." And: "There were too many cooks in the kitchen and I was the damn busboy! I was at home and all of the sudden, I get a phone call. It was my grandmother and she heard on the news that I was going to be replaced by Sinbad. Then I get a page from my producer. I had a good time, people know my name. I walk down the street and people know me -- 'There goes the dude that got fired'" ... In the non-battle of the late-night CD's, Dave's "Live on Letterman" had sold 12,000 copies through the end of November, while Conan O'Brien's had sold 3,700, according to SoundScan ... Two moles saw a screening of "Blues Brothers 2000" last week and told the amazing Harry Knowles that it was okay, not great, but a lot of fun with an ultra-powerful soundtrack. The flick, which stars Dan Aykroyd and Paul Shaffer, is scheduled to open in February ... Will Farrah Fawcett appear on "Late Show" again? Supposedly she's still steaming from that appearance earlier this year. "Farrah had readily agreed more than a month ago to appear on 'Late Show' on Monday, Jan. 26, to discuss her new movie, 'The Apostle,'" show producer Rob Burnett told the New York Daily News. "We think Farrah is a fantastic guest and we hope she honors her commitment." *** You'll recall Tom Heald compiled a six-month tally of late- night shows as quoted in the Sound Bites box of Entertainment Weekly. Here now is the final total for 1997. Shows not listed were never quoted: 1. "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" (24 mentions) 2. "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher" (18) 3. "Late Show with David Letterman" (15) 4. "The Daily Show" (10) 5. "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" (8) 5. "Saturday Night Live's" Norm MacDonald (8) 7. "The Chris Rock Show" (4) 8. Jon Stewart (4) 9. Chris Spencer on "Vibe" (3) 10. "Late Late Show With Tom Snyder" guests (2, Garry Marshall and Al Franken) 10. "The Larry Sanders Show" (2) 12. David Spade on "SNL" (1) *** Reader mail: Pete Brunelli writes, "What the heck was Cartoon Network thinking when they shifted 'Space Ghost Coast to Coast' from 11 p.m. EST to 1130 p.m.?!? Did somebody actually sit down and decide 'Hey, let's put our flagship adult show up against Chris Rock'? Prior to December, 'SGC2C' was followed by Cartoon Planet reruns. This was a great use of some hit-and-miss programming to keep a Space Ghost-starved audience in the house. Now we get to start off the hour with the reruns, and have to decide between His Spaceness and an excellent run of 'The Chris Rock Show.' This, after 'SGC2C' was inexplicably pre-empted for ... a cartoon festival! These guys must have a 'Born to Lose' tatoo somewhere on their person" ... David Weingartner writes, "I'm sure I'm not the first to complain about this, but the Top 10 list archive on the CBS site really sucks. I'm sure some programmer expended extraordinary effort to write an engine that will help me find lists that are more (or less) like 'lifeguard,' but it's not a big help when I want to see a list from last Friday. I'd like to see a diagram of the thought process of the mid-level CBS executive that decided posting the lists in order would be a bad thing" ... J.C. Douglas writes, "Following the hype for Greg's new movie 'As Good As It Gets' with Jack Nicholson, I've noticed the media refer to him as the former host of 'Talk Soup' but never of 'Later.' Even this morning on his 'Today Show' appearance at 30 Rock, Katie Couric mentioned only 'Talk Soup' and nothing of his NBC days. Strange. Would he be embarrassed by his old 1:30 time slot? He derided it almost from the beginning, something the classy Bob Costas never did as he turned in one memorable interview after another -- some of the best 'talking heads' TV ever made" ... And Anne Raugh writes, "So let me get this right: Comedy Central will heavily promote and repeatedly run a 'South Park' Christmas Special in which the true spirit of Christmas is represented by a talking turd, but they draw the line at a post-adolescent boast printed in a men's magazine. Well, I guess you gotta have SOME standards." *** Tom Heald's THIS NIGHT IN HISTORY Exclusive to LATE SHOW NEWS tomalhe@aol.com Tu 12/30: In 1959, the multiple personalities of Tracey Ullman are born. She'd want me to mention that the new book based on her Emmy-winning HBO series "Tracey Takes On..." is now in bookstores for only $24.95. but I'm not getting any money for it, so I won't mention the paper dolls. We 12/31: In 1942, Police man Andy Summers born. Summers was the original bandleader (for a month) on the syndicated "The Dennis Miller Show." Th 1/1: In 1943, Don Novello is born. He's-a Fadda Guido Sarducci onna "Sattadaye Nida Life-a," dontcha know. Fr 1/2: In 1995, Magnum P.I. rip-off "Sweating Bullets" last airs on CBS' "Crimetime after Primetime" lineup. Sa 1/3: In 1967, "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson" is shortened from 105 to 90 minutes. Su 1/4: In 1996, "Tales From The Crypt" last airs on HBO. Mo 1/5: In 1942, Charlie Rose is born. Before hosting the PBS show you don't watch now, Rose co-hosted CBS' "Nightwatch" from 1984 to 1990. [Thanks to David Tanny. Special thanks to Tracey Ullman's 143rd personality, Donz5. Tom's ABC's "World News Now" page is probably lawsuit-worthy at http://members.aol.com/tomalhe/sotd.html.] THE LINEUPS with Sue Trowbridge LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS Tu 12/30 Marilu Henner, Leila Kenzle, George Miller We 12/31 Harry Hill, the Pavlovich Balancing Act, George Clinton and the P. Funk All-Stars Th 1/1 Alec Baldwin, the cast of "Chicago'' (R 1/2/96) Fr 1/2 Kevin Kline, Kevin Sorbo, Kevin Brennan (R 1/17/96) Mo 1/5 Samuel L. Jackson, Howie Long, Louie CK Tu 1/6 Martin Scorsese, Tobey Maguire, Clint Black We 1/7 Charles Grodin, Peta Wilson, Arj Barker THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC Tu 12/30 Pam Grier, James Cameron We 12/31 Live New Year's Eve telecast from Times Square with Little Richard, Carrot Top, John Leguizamo Th 1/1 Al Roker LATE LATE SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER, CBS Tu 12/30 Robert Urich, Robert Morton (R 10/10/97) We 12/31 Faye Dunaway, Steven Stark (R 6/24/97) Th 1/1 Cybill Shepherd, Nicholas Pileggi (R 9/22/97) LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC Tu 12/30 Dweezil & Ahmet Zappa, Tito Puente We 12/31 Molly Shannon, Jeff Garlin LATER, NBC Tu 12/30 Jim Breuer with Darrell Hammond We 12/31 Jim Breuer with Dave Chappelle Th 1/1 Jim Breuer with Paige Turco CHARLIE ROSE, PBS Tu 12/30 Stephen Ambrose, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Frank McCourt We 12/31 Presidential Tapes (JFK, LBJ, Nixon): Stanley Kutler, Michael Beschloss, Jeff Shesol, Ernest May & Philip Zelikow Th 1/1 Placido Domingo Fr 1/2 "Capeman" panel with Paul Simon, "Diary of Anne Frank" panel with Linda Lavin, Natalie Portman Mo 1/5 From Washington, D.C.: William Cohen POLITICALLY INCORRECT WITH BILL MAHER, ABC Tu 12/30 Whoopi Goldberg, Fran Drescher, Willie Brown, Rep. Dana Rohrabacher We 12/31 Pre-empted Th 1/1 D.B. Sweeney, Samuel L. Jackson, Reverend Earl Jackson, Cathy Ladman Fr 1/2 Marilyn Manson, Florence Henderson, Lakita Garth, G. Gordon Liddy Mo 1/5 Rev. Jerry Falwell, Martin Mull, Carol Alt Tu 1/6 Harry Anderson, Dr. Joyce Brothers, Susannah Breslin We 1/7 Mariel Hemingway, Patti LuPone, Jake Johannsen, Rep. Matt Salmon VIBE TV, syndicated Tu 12/30 Fran Drescher, Walter Mercado, Something for the People, Chico DeBarge (R) We 12/31 Tommy Hilfiger, Jamie Foxx, the Gap Band (R) Th 1/1 Naomi Campbell, Rakim, George Hamilton (R) Fr 1/2 Lynn Whitfield, Jenny Jones (R) Mo 1/5 Tyson Beckford, Hall and Oates, Kenny G (R) KEENEN IVORY WAYANS, syndicated Tu 12/30 David Duchovny, Tichina Arnold, Bobby Brown (R 10/16/97) We 12/31 Paul Rodriguez, Charlize Theron, A.J. Jamal, Immature/Bizzy Bone (R 10/20/97) Th 1/1 Johnnie Cochran, Margaret Cho, LL Cool J (R 11/26/97) Fr 1/2 Vanessa Williams, Ice T (R 11/13/97) HOWARD STERN, E! Tu 12/30 Stacy Vs. Julie Part 2 (R), Stuttering John At The Oscars (R) We 12/31 Marshmallow Mike Part 1 (R), Stuttering John VS Howard (R) Th 1/1 Marshmallow Mike Part 2 (R), Girl Who Lights Up A Room (R) Fr 1/2 Girl With Tampons In Her Nose (R), Stuttering John At Grammys (R) Sa 1/3 Fred Quits Parts 1 and 2 (R) SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network Th 1/1 Tony Bennett, Tom Arnold and haiku contest winners Ryah Rosenberg and Sean Medlock Fr 1/2 repeat of Thursday; Jimmy Cliff, Jack Logan In unspecified repeats: THE DAILY SHOW, Comedy Central DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1 Also on late nights: NIGHTLINE and WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC CHARLES GRODIN, CNBC MAD TV, Fox SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC (this season) and Comedy Central (classics) THE RUPAUL SHOW, VH1 LOVELINE and ODDVILLE MTV, MTV UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS NIGHTSIDE, NBC SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network (in repeats) Entire contents Copyright 1997 by Aaron Barnhart. All rights reserved. Current e-mail circulation: 11,366 subscribers in 54 countries. Guest lineups are updated throughout the week by Sue Trowbridge at LATE SHOW NEWS is made possible with the generous assistance of ECHO, New York City's premiere online service. Send news for and comments about this newsletter to aaron@tvbarn.com